An adult stories – No Such Thing as Time Ch. 18 by JustAPearlGirl,JustAPearlGirl A/N
The beginning has some talk about breastfeeding. I included it because I had a few people express complaints that in the last chapter, I didn’t say much about the delivery of the baby. I hesitated to describe it in much detail because I figured most people didn’t want to read about labor and delivery, so I kept it very short.
In this chapter, I decided to describe breastfeeding in more detail, so I’m sure I’ll have people complaining about that. It’s all good.
There is one more chapter of this series. I’m hoping to get it cleaned up and posted within the next month or so, but I am starting a new job tomorrow so we shall see.
Thanks to anyone who may actually still be reading this. I have an amazing idea for a sort of part two, but not exactly part two.
I wanna say things got easier. Everything fell into place and we all moved on to our next hurdle.
Lynne brought him to my room while I was talking to Eddie. He was a little fussy, not crying, just making some noise.
Lynne said she thought he was hungry and did I want to try feeding him.
She handed him to me. He was squirmy and warm. Those were my first thoughts. Then he looked at me with his blue eyes. Eddie’s eyes. He definitely has Eddie’s eyes. When he looked at me, right into my eyes, I feel like that’s when I felt he was mine.
I knew he wanted to nurse. He latched on right away and it was like he knew just what to do.
And I really want to say that’s how it happened…but it didn’t.
It was hard, really hard, for the first few weeks.
Lynne did bring him to my room while I was talking to Eddie. None of that other stuff happened except that he was fussy and my first thoughts were that he was squirmy and warm. Oh and he does have his dad’s eyes.
“We gave him a bottle earlier, but I thought you might want to try to feed him,” Lynne says.
I look at her, then Eddie, then back at her. “I don’t know how.”
“If you want to try, I’ll help.”
For some reason, I feel strange trying to breastfeed the baby with Eddie in here. This man has seen every part of my body. He’s seen me at my worst. But I think I don’t want him to see me struggle. Or to see my failure if I can’t do it.
“Eddie…I bet Mara is starving, wanna go get her something to eat?” Lynna asks him.
He stands up, leans over, and kisses my forehead.
“If you wanted me to leave, you could have just said that,” he tells Lynne.
“I don’t want you to think you’re not an important part of your son’s life, but sometimes breastfeeding is really hard and I think the less people around right now would be better.”
“It’s fine. And I know Mara needs to eat, even if she doesn’t want to. I’ll bring up something for you to eat.”
He kisses me again. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
The baby is getting more fidgety. He’s grunting and starting to cry.
“Do you want to try to feed him?” Lynne asks.
I do want to…I think. Yesterday I didn’t feel anything toward him, which I found strange because the whole time I was pregnant I felt that unconditional love for him that they always talk about. But today, holding him, seeing him for the first time, I’m feeling that love for him again.
Lynne sits next to me on the bed.
“Are you okay taking your shirt off?” she asks.
I hand the baby to her and sit up more in the bed.
“Get comfortable,” she says.
I take my shirt off before she hands the baby back to me. Now he’s really starting to cry. He’s straining, twisting his head, his face distorted.
“He’s rooting around, looking for your nipple.”
I bring him closer to me.
“You don’t mind do you?” Lynne asks gesturing her hands toward me.
I shake my head.
“You just have to make sure he has the nipple in his mouth correctly or he won’t be able to suck properly and you’ll be in pain and he won’t get much milk.”
She grasps his head in one hand and cups my boob with the other. She brings his head to my nipple pulling his chin down a bit. He clamps down and starts sucking.
She looks at me. “How does that feel?”
“Weird.”
She laughs slightly. “Yeah. It looks like he’s doing it right though. Are you comfortable?”
I nod my head.
She picks up Eddie’s pillow and puts it behind me. “Don’t lean into him, you get comfortable and bring him to you, otherwise your back will ache.”
I’m afraid to move since he’s nursing so well. I study him as well as I can. This is my first look at him. He has a lot of dark hair. Not sure if it’s more like mine or Eddie’s. It’s very soft though. I wonder if it will be curly like his dad’s or a mess like mine.
He’s dressed in one of the sleepers we got on that first trip after I found out I was pregnant. I hold his hand. It’s so tiny and delicate. He grips my finger. He has perfect little fingers.
“Well?” Lynne asks.
“I don’t know what to even think. He’s just so…perfect.” I start crying again.
She puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. “It’s a lot isn’t it? I’m sure your emotions are going crazy right now. Cry if you need to. He is perfect though. Such a pretty baby.”
“Is he…okay? You know…he’s not sick?”
“So far he seems fine. And the more he nurses and flushes his system the better…maybe…I think. I want to make sure he’s nursing enough though. We need a scale, did we ever pick up a baby scale?”
“Not that I remember, but we probably have a regular scale somewhere,” I tell her.
“I’d rather have a baby one if we can find one. I’ll send Sebastian out with Dave tomorrow, see if they can find one. Until then, just nurse him as much as he’ll nurse.”
He pulls his mouth away, kind of scrunches up his face at me. I look at Lynne.
“He might need to burp. Breastfed babies don’t burp as much as bottle fed because they don’t get as much air, but they sometimes still need to. Let me see him,” she says.
I hand the baby to her. She holds him close, up on her shoulder. She starts rubbing and softly patting his back.
“Just gently pat his back or rub it. If he needs to burp he will.”
He’s calm for about a minute and then he starts fussing again.
“I think he’s still hungry, want to try to nurse him again?”
She hands him to me. I hold him just looking at him. He really is perfect. He yawns, then sticks his tongue out. He starts grunting at me again.
“Do you want to try the other side?” Lynne asks.
“Other side?” I ask but then realize she must mean my other boob. “Yeah. Is that what I’m supposed to do? One and then the other?”
She nods her head.
I turn him slightly so I can try to get him to nurse from my other boob. I start to lean forward but remember she said to bring him to me so I settle back into the pillows and bring him to my nipple.
He latches on right away but it doesn’t feel right.
“Pull his chin down a little so he’s sucking right,” Lynne says.
I try to pull on his chin so he opens his mouth more taking in a bit more of my nipple. It feels better, more like it did before.
It’s quiet, just the soft sounds from the baby nursing.
“So…is he okay?” I ask breaking the silence.
“The baby?”
I nod my head. “Yeah. Is he…okay? Can you tell yet if he’s sick?”
We hear someone coming up the stairs and then knocking on my door even though Eddie left it open a little.
“Can I come in?” Eddie asks pushing the door open a bit more.
“Of course you can,” Lynne says.
He comes over to my side of the bed, sets a plate of food down on my nightstand, then leans over and kisses my forehead.
“How are you doing? Do you feel okay?” he asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “I’m alright. I’m worried about the baby though. Is he okay?”
“What do you mean? He’s perfect,” Eddie says.
He sits on the edge of the bed next to me.
“She’s worried he might be sick,” Lynne says.
“Sick? He’s not sick, he’s fine,” Eddie says.
The tone of his voice makes it sound like he’s trying to convince himself that the baby is fine.
The baby pulls away from me and turns his head toward Eddie.
“He recognizes your voice,” Lynne says.
I hand the baby to Eddie. “Do you want to try to burp him?”
Eddie puts the baby up on his shoulder and starts gently rubbing his back. He looks so natural somehow. Maybe he had a kid before. I’m always surprised at how little I actually know about his life before he came here. I feel like he would have mentioned it though when we found out I was pregnant. Hopefully.
“As far as I can tell…he’s healthy,” Lynne sighs. “Just keep feeding him as much as he wants. If you breastfeed him he’ll have your immunity. I wish I knew more. There wasn’t time for research. I don’t know if there were any babies born to two people that were immune. I also don’t know how some people survived when both their parents died, like you and Maggie, or pretty much any of us, I just don’t know. Right now he seems perfect, feed him so he keeps your immunity.”
Eddie and Sebastian decide to spend a day trying to find other animals. Spencer wants to stay close to Amanda since we feel like her baby will come any day, and we all understand and think it’s actually pretty sweet of him. Maybe he’s going to change, be more caring, and not just a complete asshole. And honestly, I think Sebastian will be more helpful to Eddie. Spencer would have just complained.
Lynne helps me pack them a huge lunch, a thermos of coffee, a bunch of bottles of water, and some extra snacks. They take sleeping bags too, just in case, even though Eddie has promised me he will be home tonight.
I show them how to attach our pig trailer to the truck and we put the rest of the stuff in the truck bed.
Lynne and Maggie are spending the day with us. I’m worried about Dave being alone at the other house but he says he has some little projects he’s working on to keep him busy. He promises to come over and fish tomorrow.
Fishing has been so helpful in supplementing our diet. I don’t know why we didn’t fish last summer. Probably because I don’t like to clean them. I love fishing, just hanging out by the pond hoping to catch something, and I love eating fish. I don’t mind cooking it. I hate cleaning them. Even before when I could wash my hands and shower I still always just smelled fishy. Now with no way to get really clean, I don’t like that whole aspect of preparing fish. But luckily Eddie will do that job. Of course, then he smells fishy.
Maggie loves the baby. She wants to do everything for him. I do let her change his diaper, with help. She wishes she could feed him but since I’m breastfeeding, she can’t. I’ve told her when he’s older and eating food, she can help him then.
He’s only about a month old right now so he doesn’t do much more than eat and sleep. Maggie says he’s boring. I have to agree, he is pretty boring right now, but he keeps me on my toes worrying about him. He’s never so much as had a sniffle, but I still worry. Lynne says that’s completely normal for a mom, especially a new mom. I’m glad he’s boring. Boring is normal I suppose. And healthy. I just want a boring normal healthy baby.
We spend the day making some bread, cookies, and muffins. We would have made more but it’s making it too hot in the house.
I try to figure out what we can have for dinner. I’m going to guess we’ll have fish tomorrow since Dave is coming over to fish, so I decide against tuna casserole.
I’m tempted to do something with chicken but it would take too much time to kill a chicken and then prepare it.
We still have a bunch of pasta and canned and jarred sauces so I feel like that’s the easiest thing to make. I can make some rolls to go with it. It will be fine.
I might be able to make a salad too. I’m sure we have enough veggies for one. I know we got some carrots today and there’s always lettuce and usually tomatoes unless the animals have gotten to them.
While I’m outside picking tomatoes I hear the truck. Hopefully the truck. I guess we all just assume no one else will ever come here. Not sure how we would react if it ever was someone else. In the movies when there was always some world ending scenario, people were always waiting for the military to come rescue them, I don’t think any of us ever did. I know I didn’t. I’m not sure if I ever expected, or even thought, that someone would save me, save us, but I’m glad two guys ended up here about a year ago.
I’m happy to see it is Eddie and Sebastian and not some strangers or the military.
Eddie seems very excited when he gets out of the truck. He runs right to the trailer and motions for me to look in it.
“We found a couple pigs. Little ones. Maybe some of the ones we saw a couple months ago. We probably could have looked a little longer but I was happy finding them. They’re mean as fuck though. Not sure if that’s how they normally are…”
I drop the tomatoes into the bucket next to me and then walk over to the trailer and look in at the pigs.
He’s right they’re pissed off so they probably are mean. Might be from the mama we saw a couple months ago, they’re a little bigger than the one we saw.
“Will they be okay with the other pig? I’m hoping at least one of them is a female, then we could breed it with your pig, right?” Eddie says.
I nod my head. “We can try to put them in with him, but he might not like it after being alone for so long. I’m not sure how to get them in there though.”
“I can do it. Little fucker bit me already,” he says and holds up his arm so I can see, “I’ll get them in the barn somehow.”
“Jesus christ!”
I grab his arm so I can look at it better. It looks really bad. Swollen, bruised already, and a chunk missing, a small chunk, but a chunk.
“I don’t gotta worry about rabies do I? I mean, I guess now it doesn’t even matter, it’s already happened. Little fucker. I think that’s what I’m naming one of them, you can name the other.”
“Let’s go clean your arm, I don’t like how it looks.”
“How’d it go?” Lynne asks coming outside.
Sebastian hugs her. “We got some piggies. I can already taste the pork chops.”
“Oh my god and bacon,” she says.
Sebastian lets go of Lynne and they all stand there looking at me.
“We can do that…right? I mean once they get bigger,” Lynne asks.
I nod my head. “Yeah. I’m not sure when we’ll want to sacrifice one, and I’m with Eddie, I hope one is a sow. Hopefully, we can try to breed it with Freddie.”
Eddie starts to open the trailer, Lynne sees his arm.
“What happened to your arm?” she asks.
He holds his arm up so she can see it better.
“It’s fine, hurts like fuck, but it’s fine. That little fucker bit me when I picked him up. Let me get them into the barn and then you guys can doctor me up.”
Eddie and Sebastian get the new pigs into the barn with Freddie. Luckily he doesn’t seem bothered by them.
I finish making dinner while Lynne cleans Eddie’s arm. She chastises him, says she knows he’s just trying to make sure we have enough food but he needs to be careful. If his arm gets infected, what is she supposed to do?
Dinner is uneventful. Amanda picks at everything. She says it’s not the food, it’s her, she feels nauseous.
Lynne and Sebastian want to eat quickly so they can get home to Dave. I pack dinner for him so no one has to worry about making him anything.
When they’re all packing up and getting ready to leave, Spencer comes downstairs and he seems upset.
“Amanda just like pissed on the floor, but she says she didn’t…I don’t know what’s going on…but will you come see if she’s okay before you go?” he asks Lynne.
Lynne sets the plate of food she was holding down on the counter and starts up the stairs.
“Sounds like maybe her water broke. I might be staying the night,” she says.
“Is Amanda having her baby?” Maggie asks.
“Maybe. But let’s stay down here out of the way,” I tell her.
Eddie helps me clean the kitchen and then him, Sebastian, and Maggie go outside to check on the new pigs and the other animals. I know Dave is probably worried, it’s already dark out.
Lynne comes downstairs while they’re still outside and I’m sitting in the living room feeding the baby.
“It looks like I’m staying. I’m pretty sure she’s in labor, pretty early labor though so it’s going to be a while. Probably nothing going to happen until morning. But it looks like her water broke. Where is everyone?”
“Outside checking on the animals.”
The baby pulls away so I know he’s finished. I put him on my shoulder to burp him. After he burps I lay him on my legs and look at him. I’m still so amazed that this perfect little human is mine. And that somehow I made him, well with the help of Eddie in a way, but he’s mine and he’s just perfect. He still has Eddie’s eyes. Beautiful blue. And his hair has stayed dark and I think it will be curly like his dad’s.
I’m so in love with my son. It’s another thing you can’t explain to anyone or begin to think you know what it’s like until you experience it. And I know the beginning was rough. I was so afraid the baby would be sick or even be born dead that I pushed him away. I’m glad Lynne made me hold him because I think it would have taken longer for me to warm up to him if she hadn’t brought the baby in and handed him to me.
“Can I hold him? Just for a minute, I promise,” Lynne says.
I hand the baby to her. She looks at him for a few seconds. “I think you guys cloned him, he looks just like Eddie.”
I laugh. “He does.”
She holds the baby up to her chest and rubs his back. “Maybe the next one will look like you.”
“Next one? What?” I ask her.
She smiles. “Are you not planning on having another one?”
I sit up, pick up my cup of tea off the table, and take a few sips before I reply.
“I wasn’t planning on having any…well not at eighteen…or even nineteen. I don’t know. Having a baby was nowhere on my radar…it just…happened. I guess…” I sigh. Shake my head. “I love my son…”
“No one doubts that at all, Mara. And it’s…in this world…the world how it is…it’s inevitable that…a baby is going to happen. It’s nearly impossible to take precautions…and you know…that’s scary. If you don’t want another baby, we can try to figure something out,” she says.
“I mean, I know the easiest way,” I say laughing. “Eddie might not be happy though.”
The baby starts fussing. Lynne pulls him off her shoulder and looks at him. “What’s wrong little man? Do you want your mama?”
“I think he wants me,” Eddie says walking into the living room.
Lynne starts to hand the baby to Eddie.
“No, you hog the baby, give him to me. You need to go wash your hands anyway,” I say.
“How do I hog him? You always have him because you feed him and I washed my hands when I came in.”
Lynne laughs. “Do you always fight over him? I think it’s sweet.”
Eddie takes the baby from Lynne and sits next to me on the sofa. “So what’s the news on Amanda?”
“Well, there’s definitely going to be another baby here tomorrow. I’ll stay the night so I’ll be here. She’s…she’s nervous…”
“Nervous? About what? The baby?” I ask.
Lynne shakes her head. “No…I guess she’s scared of how badly it’s going to hurt. I’m guessing Amanda doesn’t like pain. There’s not really a lot I can give her for the pain.”
I think back to when I was having my baby. Amanda maybe came in twice to see how I was doing. Not very ‘best friend’ like. Maybe she didn’t like seeing me in pain, or maybe it scared her because she knew it was going to be her soon.
She’s held my baby maybe two or three times, which is fine, I love having him in my arms. I’ve been trying to cherish every second of him. At first, I think I was still scared that he could get sick and I was going to lose him, but now I know one day he’s going to be a little boy exploring the world and won’t want his mom to hold him.
His mom. That still is foreign to me. I’m someone’s mom. Eddie is someone’s dad. We created this human being. A year ago I was a high school graduate morning the loss of my mom and now I am a mom. My life couldn’t be more different.
“Mara…” I hear Lynne say.
I turn my head toward her, raise my eyebrows.
“I was just telling Eddie that I thought you had decided to not have sex anymore so you wouldn’t get pregnant again.”
I smile, look over at Eddie who looks very concerned.
“I didn’t say that…well not that exactly. I did say that’s the best way to prevent any more babies…but I don’t think I said that’s what I wanted to do.”
I lean closer to him, kiss his cheek. “I like…being with you…that way.”
I kiss him. We kiss for a few seconds, until the baby starts fussing.
“I think he wants to be an only child,” Lynne says.
When Sebastian and Maggie find us sitting in the living room, Lynne tells Sebastian to go ahead home since she’s staying.
Maggie decides to stay too. She’s tired though and wants to go to bed and be up in the morning to help Amanda.
I sleep for a few hours. When the baby wakes me up to be fed in the middle of the night, someone knocks on the door.
Eddie stirs. He usually sleeps during the night feeds. I only wake him up if I need him.
I get out of bed, pick up the baby, and see who’s knocking.
“When you can, if you can, will you come talk to Amanda. She’s really freaking out. Hyperventilating. Had a full blown panic attack. I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t slept at all. She’s just barely in the beginning stage of labor. I’m afraid her being so stressed is going to slow down her labor which will just make her more upset,” Lynne says.
“Yeah. Let me feed and change him, get him back to sleep, and I’ll be in there.”
“Everything alright, Mara?” Eddie asks.
I turn toward him. “Yeah. Amanda is just upset.”
I can hear Amanda sobbing. Yeah I know, it hurts. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, but it did help to have Eddie there talking to me. I hope Spencer is being supportive.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I tell Lynne.
“Want me to take him?” Eddie asks when I get back in bed.
“I have to feed him first, but then I better go see if I can help.”
Eddie sits up. “You think everything is okay?”
I hold the baby closer so he can nurse. He fusses for a few seconds before he finds my nipple. “I think. Seems like she’s scared. I’m not sure what I can do to help…but I’ll see if there’s something.”
Eddie gets up and pulls on his shorts. He heads toward the door. “I’ll be back.”
“I’m not sure you can do anything to help,” I tell him.
He stops at the door. “I actually wasn’t going to try…I’m going outside for a minute.”
“Don’t pee in the garden,” I say realizing what he’s going outside for.
“I’ll be back,” he says laughing.
I’m burping the baby when Eddie gets back.
“Ready for me to take him?” he asks.
“Yeah. I can’t get a burp out of him, but he might not need to. He does need changed though,” I say and hand the baby to him.
“Will you turn on the lantern when you leave so I can see what I’m doing.”
I turn on the lantern on the dresser and then walk to Amanda and Spencer’s room.
I can hear Amanda still sobbing. I feel so bad for her.
I’m actually kind of surprised that Spencer is in here with her. I figured he would have gone somewhere else instead of helping her, but he’s in here.
Amanda is laying on the bed curled up into a ball…well as well as she can be curled up into a ball. Spencer is sitting by her head, rubbing her shoulders. I sit on the other side. I push her hair off her face.
“I hate this,” she says.
“I know. It hurts.”
“I can’t do this. I just want this thing out of me and I want to go to sleep,” she says.
I run my fingers through her hair. “You can do this. You need to try to relax. I know…I know right now that sounds so…dismissive…but you need to try to get some control. It will help. Take a deep breath in…and then let it out slowly. I know it sounds stupid, but it really will help.”
Lynne comes into the bedroom with a pitcher of water and a glass.
“How are we doing?” she asks.
“Good, I think. We’re going to help her sit up a little and I’m going to help her breathe through some contractions. I told her she needs to try to get some control,” I tell her.
Spencer gets up and adjusts the pillows on the bed. We both help Amanda get into a semi-sitting position.
“Spencer, will you go get a bucket with some fresh water in it. And bring me a couple washcloths, please,” I ask him.
He kisses Amanda’s cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
It’s kind of strange seeing him being so sweet. I wonder if it will last?
It’s a long night. She asks me to stay with her so I do. Spencer is as supportive as he can be. I feel like he’s never been in a relationship that they showed each other respect. I don’t think he was raised that way either.
Right before the sun came up, Lynne said it was time to push. The baby didn’t seem to want to come out. After pushing for what seemed a long time and making no progress, Lynne suggested Amanda sit on the edge of the bed and using gravity to help. Spencer sat on one side holding her up and I was on the other. It worked though. After about twenty minutes of pushing, when Amanda was beyond exhausted and said she couldn’t do it anymore, the baby slid out.
He was still and very blue and I knew that wasn’t good.
Lynne cut the cord and took the baby while Spencer and I got Amanda comfortable in bed.
“Shouldn’t it be crying? Did your baby cry when you had him?” Amanda asks me.
I shake my head. “I don’t remember.” And I’m not lying, I don’t remember much from his birth. “I’ll go check on him though.”
I go over to the dresser where Lynne has the baby laying on some blankets. She’s suctioning water out of his mouth and nose.
“He inhaled a ton of water,” she says.
“Is he…okay?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“Let’s try to get him breathing. I wanted to suction as much fluid as I could before he starts breathing it in.”
I look down at this tiny limp body and see that, he is a boy, and he is still blue but maybe not as blue.
“Flick his feet,” Lynne says.
“What?”
“Flick the bottoms of his feet. Hard.”
Lynne rubs a towel across his face to wipe it off and to make him mad. I flick the bottoms of his feet. She blows in his face. He finally starts moving a little. She wipes his face again and I give his feet some good flicks. He grunts a few times and kicks.
“Come on little man, wake up. You’ve had months to sleep, now you need to wake up,” Lynne says to him.
She suctions his mouth and nose a couple more times and then she picks him up. He grunts a couple of times before he starts to whimper.
“Is he okay now?” I ask. I admit I’m happy to hear him trying to cry.
“He’s better. He needs to cry, needs to get any fluid out of his lungs.”
She holds him away from her so she can get a better look at him. He is starting to look better, at least he’s not so blue now.
“Let’s get a diaper on him and in something warm so Amanda can hold him.”
Lynne hands the baby to me. I look at him. If I still had any thoughts of Eddie being the father, they’re gone now. This baby looks nothing like Eddie. I’m not really sure who he looks like.
“Is he okay, Mara?” Amanda asks.
“He’s good,” I say and turn toward her. “And he is a he. Definitely a boy. We’re going to get him dressed and then you can have him.”
He’s still just kind of grunting and whimpering. I’m honestly kind of worried.
Lynne brings over a diaper and a sleeper so we can dress him. I sit on the other side of the bed with him, lay him down, and dress him.
His color does look a lot better. And now he’s starting to actually cry.
“I missed everything,” Maggie says from the doorway.
“Come see him. He was just born maybe five minutes ago,” Lynne tells her.
“He? It’s a boy?” she asks sounding very disappointed.
Maggie sulks over to the bed.
“Why are all the babies boys? I wanted someone to play with,” she says.
I finish dressing the baby and hand him to Amanda. As soon as I do, Maggie crawls into my lap.
“Mara, I want a sister.”
“A sister?” I say laughing slightly.
She nods her head. She has a perfect pout. I have a feeling she got a lot of things her way before being the baby of the family.
“Maggie, if there was a way I could give you a sister, I would. We don’t get to choose if our babies are a boy or a girl,” I explain to her.
“I think when Lynne has a baby it will be a girl. Then I’ll have a sister.”
I love how naive she can be.
“Lynne, you’re having a baby?” I ask her.
“Am I? That’s news to me.”
I hope talking about her having a baby doesn’t make her think of the kids she did have. I wonder if Maggie knows about them?
Maggie gets off my lap and runs over to Lynne.
“Have a baby so I can have a little sister,” Maggie tells her.
“You don’t think we have enough babies around here?” Lynne asks her.
“They’re boys,” she says sternly.
Lynne and I laugh.
Lynne squats down to Maggie’s level. “Maybe one day…maybe…I’ll have a baby.”
I look over at Amanda and Spencer. Amanda has the baby laying on her legs, just looking at him. He does look better now. A perfect baby pink. Still squashed up looking and still looking nothing like Eddie.
I hug her. “Congratulations. Maybe later we can have our guys meet for the first time. I’m going to go check on Eddie and my son, and maybe take a nap.”
Eddie is cuddled up with our son, sleeping, on his side of the bed.
My shirt has some questionable stuff on it so I change it before I get in bed. I snuggle up into his back. Nuzzle under his hair into his neck.
“You’re back, everything okay?” he asks.
“I think so. It’s a boy. He seems okay now, but he was so blue when he was born and Lynne had a little trouble getting him to breathe.”
He rolls over so he’s facing me now.
“Yeah? But he’s okay?” he asks.
I nod my head. “I think. He looks better now. Lynne didn’t seem worried.”
“I guess I should stop in on my way downstairs, play nice, wish them well.”
“I’d give them some time. Let them be a little family for a while. You know, Spencer was actually being sweet last night. It was…different.”
He pushes my hair back, puts a lock behind my ear. “Yeah? I guess he can be at times.”
He leans close and kisses me on the lips, then my neck, up by my ear. He moves closer to me.
“I miss being close to you,” he whispers.
Really? He’s suddenly aroused by…I don’t even know. Maybe he thinks since I’m so tired I would give in easily. We haven’t had sex since the baby’s been born. Lynne said to wait sixish weeks. She said to please wait at least a month, and to not do anything if I didn’t think I was healed. I’m not sure how I feel. I know that right now is not the moment I’m going to choose to have sex for the first time after having a baby, especially with the baby in the bed with us.
“Let me lay here, maybe take a thirty minute nap. I promise, just thirty minutes, then I’ll help you with the animals and stuff,” I say playing dumb.
“You’re tired? Like…too tired…” he says.
“I’m okay. I just need to close my eyes for like thirty minutes.”
He pulls me even closer to him. “I really miss us being together.”
“Eddie…” I sigh. “I do too…but…I can’t do this. Not right now. It’s just…not the right time.”
He groans. He climbs over me and gets out of bed.
“Eddie. Don’t be mad.”
He starts getting dressed.
“Eddie…”
He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t reply.
“You can’t be mad. Please tell me you’re not mad.”
He sits on the bed next to me to put his socks on.
“I’m not mad…I’m just…frustrated I guess. I knew we would have to wait after you had him…but it feels like it’s been a long time. I miss you. I miss us being close like that.”
I put my hand on his thigh. “I think it has been a long time too. And I think I might be ready…just not right now. It’s been a long night, I’m tired, and the baby is right here. Maybe later?”
He picks up my hand, kisses the palm. “I’d enjoy that. Even if we just go to bed early tonight and have some alone time.”
“Well…except we’ll have a baby so we won’t really be alone…”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Alone enough. After you feed him we can put him in his bed to sleep. Just sleeping alone with you will be great.”
He stands up, leans over, and kisses my cheek.
“Just give me thirty minutes. I swear I’ll come down,” I tell him.
“I can do it, Mara. Rest.”
“No. I can help. Just thirty minutes…”
He smiles at me. “Sure. Thirty minutes.”
When I hear the baby crying I know it’s been more than thirty minutes. I feed the baby, change his diaper, and then we head downstairs.
I consider checking on Amanda and the baby, but the door is shut and it’s quiet so I don’t want to bother them if they’re asleep.
I’m kind of surprised to see Spencer sitting alone at the table when I get in the kitchen. At first, I’m scared something is wrong.
“Oh hey, Mara. I think they saved you some breakfast…maybe…sorry my brain is like mush right now,” he says when he sees me.
“I don’t even want to know how late it is. I hate that I slept so long.”
He takes a bite of his sandwich. I wonder if he’s eating breakfast or lunch.
“It’s fine. Eddie took care of everything this morning and Lynne made breakfast. They left just a little bit ago. Went to update Sebastian on everything and pick up some clothes for her and Maggie. They’re planning on staying here for a couple of days. They should be back soon, but I think Lynne said she planned on taking a nap when she gets back here.”
“Have you gotten any sleep?”
He nods his head. “Yeah, I slept for a little while. It’s been a lot today. Just a lot.”
I think about how much having a baby changes every little thing. Especially how it makes you feel.
“It is a lot. You can’t explain it, it’s something you won’t understand until you experience it.”
“I never thought I could have feelings like I do for another person.” He looks at me, right in the eyes. “Honestly, it’s kind of fucked me up. That’s why I’m sitting down here. They both fell asleep so I came down here just to get away. My emotions are just…I don’t know.”
Is this the same Spencer that can be such a complete asshole at times?
“It’s crazy how much a baby changes everything. How is Amanda feeling? And how’s the baby?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “She’s tired. Quiet. He seems good.”
“Have you figured out a name?”
He smiles. “We’re not really sure. We kind of thought about doing what you guys did, name him after me like you guys named your baby after Eddie, but for some reason, I feel…I don’t know…not worthy or something. Like I’m not good enough for him to be named after.”
“He’s your son, I’m sure he would be happy to be named after you,” I tell him.
I’m not really hungry but I know I need to eat since I’m breastfeeding. There is a plate of pancakes in the oven. I’m not feeling pancakes. And really, there is nothing nutritional in pancakes.
I look in the cabinets to see if anything sounds good. I decide applesauce and a peanut butter sandwich will at least have some nutrition in it.
I eat a few bites of my sandwich then a bite of applesauce and realize how much sugar is in both things. I need to eat better. I have someone else depending on me. It’s nearly impossible to eat the right foods now. I can only eat what’s available.
I hear the sound of an engine so I know they’ll be here in a minute or two. I briefly consider trashing my breakfast, well putting it in the bucket for the animals, and going upstairs to pretend I’m still asleep. Some days I feel like I can’t face people. I don’t want to face people. I don’t want to be pleasant and make small talk. Maybe that’s why Spencer can be such an asshole some days. Maybe he just doesn’t want to face anyone that day.
I cover my plate with a kitchen towel.
“I’m going to go check on the baby,” I tell Spencer while getting up.
The baby is still sound asleep in the middle of the bed where I left him. I get in bed next to him. I snuggle into him without waking him up. He’s been a good baby. Maybe that’s what scares me. He’s been perfect.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know Eddie is behind me, kissing the back of my neck. I open my eyes and see the baby isn’t laying with me. I start to roll over.
“He’s fine. Asleep in his bed. We can be alone,” Eddie says.
Jesus. I honestly have no problem with us having sex. I think my body is ready. Pretty sure mentally I’m ready. I don’t like that it seems like the decision as to when is all on his terms.
“Why don’t you lay on your belly so I can give you a good backrub? I haven’t in months.”
A backrub does sound really nice. Doesn’t mean we have to do anything else. He wouldn’t make me have sex. Well…I don’t think he would. There was that time months ago when he kind of forced himself on me.
I move to my belly, he kneels next to me so he can use both hands. He starts up on my shoulders. He concentrates on them for a bit before moving down to my middle back.
“You feel…nice,” he says and then laughs. “That sounds stupid doesn’t it?”
I giggle. “Yeah, a little. Sounds like a pick up line. Are you trying to pick me up?”
“Um…actually…I might be trying to get in your pants…”
I roll over and look at him. “Do you think you’ll be successful?” I ask him.
“I hope so,” he replies.
He’s smiling. My favorite smile, the almost bashful one that shows his dimple.
I sit up, pull him to me, and kiss him. “I’m thinking…that you’re probably…going to get lucky.”
“Yeah?”
He reaches up and caresses my cheek, leans close and we kiss.
I lay back and bring him with me.
We kiss like we haven’t kissed in months. That fast and raw passionate kissing.
I want him badly. I think he realizes that, he pulls his lips from mine just long enough to take my shirt off of me.
He kisses me again, briefly, then he moves down to my neck, sucking on it. He knows I love when he sucks on my neck. Nothing turns me on quicker.
Part of me wants to keep going at this pace. It’s all happening so quickly, it’s going to all be over quickly. But part of me wants to savor this. I want it to last. I’ve missed him like this.
His lips are back on mine. He pulls my underwear and pajama pants down so I help him get them off. I realize he’s already naked. Probably got in bed naked.
He’s already between my legs. I have a feeling this is going to be over very quickly and that’s fine for the first time after having a baby.
The baby makes a noise, we both turn to look at him. He grunts, stretches, and then seems to go back to sleep.
We look at each other and smile. Okay, this needs to happen now and be quick.
Eddie guides his dick to me, and thrusts it in. He lays on me, sucks on my neck. I do absolutely love when he sucks on my neck, but I kinda wanna kiss.
I play with his curls. Try to kiss his cheek…or neck…or anything, but I can’t reach much of anything but maybe his ear.
“Eddie…kiss me…”
He takes his lips off my neck and looks at me. “Kiss you?”
He smiles, then kisses me. We kiss.
He kisses down between my boobs, then licks my nipple, sucks on it. He pulls away and looks at me with a strange look on his face. His hips are still.
“Are you alright?” I ask him.
“Yeah,” he replies after a few seconds.
He still has a strange look on his face.
“Eddie…”
He looks at me. “There was…milk…”
“Oh. Well…yeah…I guess there would be. Was it…bad?” I ask him.
He shakes his head. “It wasn’t bad…just…different…unexpected.”
He leans close and sucks on it again. It feels weird. I can feel my milk let down. It’s a slightly different feeling from when it happens when the baby nurses.
I guess he’s okay with milk coming out now, his hips start moving again. Him sucking on one nipple makes the other one leak. He doesn’t seem to notice or if he does, it doesn’t seem to bother him.
I’m glad he’s okay with my nipples. They’ve changed so much since I’ve been nursing. They changed when I first got pregnant, but even more so when I started nursing. At first they were red and sore, but now they’re just bigger and darker in color. They’re so foreign, not like they’re mine at all.
I run my fingertips across his shoulders. His back always feels nice under my touch. I lean upward a bit, just enough to nuzzle his shoulder, his neck. He nuzzles against mine.
I feel him thrust in me deeply, grunting slightly. I hope he doesn’t wake up the baby. Another deep thrust. I know he’s close.
I run my hands down his back, across his butt. I spread my legs further apart and push his butt making him go in deeper.
He lays still on top of me. I keep running my fingertips across his shoulders and down his back. I wish we could lay like this for a while.
I feel his now soft cock slide out of me. His cum running down out of me, dripping off of me, and onto the bed.
Eddie shifts slightly to the side of me. His head on my shoulder, he leans close and kisses my cheek. He traces around one of my nipples with his finger. Circling it. It tickles. It also is making my nipples hard. It’s a strange feeling. When the baby nurses I don’t get any pleasure, but with Eddie playing with them, teasing them, they’re almost instantly hard.
“Sorry,” he says.
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?”
He switches nipples, starts playing with my other one.
“Just…because. You know…”
I lay there and try to figure out what he’s sorry about, nothing comes to mind.
“I have no idea…so maybe you could tell me?”
His hand moves down and he plays with my belly button.
“It was just…pretty quick…and I know you didn’t get anything out of it. So…I’m sorry.”
I reach my hand up touch his curls, caress his cheek, and move his head so he’s looking at me.
“Eddie…I don’t always have to…finish…to enjoy being with you. I did enjoy it. And for the first time after having a baby…I think it was perfect.”
I run my fingers through his curls. He has some wet spots in his hair, it has to be milk, and it’s going to be sticky.
He moves his hand down, he gently strokes outside a few times before sticking two of his fingers where his cock has just been. His fingers move in and out a couple of times, him getting them wet with our fluids, before he moves up to my clit. He finds it easily, it’s still engorged from arousal.
He strokes my clit. Plays with it with his wet fingers. Teases it. He sucks on my nipple for a few seconds before he moves up to my neck, kissing it, licking it, sucking. He knows it’s what I enjoy most.
Instantly my body is convulsing with the contractions of my orgasm. I gasp his name a few times. I feel my breasts let down, milk dripping out of both nipples rapidly.
I pull his hand away from my sensitive clit. Any stimulation is painful now.
Right on cue, the baby starts to fuss.
“He’s a good kid,” Eddie says.
I sigh. “He is. I should get him, he’s probably hungry.”
Eddie sits up. “I’ll get him, change him, then you can feed him.”
I sit up. I feel more of Eddie’s cum run out of me. Right now I would do pretty much anything for a shower.
“Will you get me a wipe or something? I’m…sticky,” I say and laugh.
He gets up and picks up the baby. He lays him on the bed so he can get a diaper and wipes.
Eddie gets a diaper, a pack of baby wipes, and the baby powder and brings it to the bed.
I pick up the wipes and get a couple out. I start wiping off my boobs and belly where milk ran down.
Eddie gets the baby’s diaper changed, he picks him up.
“You think it’s okay that…um…I…it won’t…you know…he can still…” Eddie says.
I look over at him confused at what he’s trying to say.
He gestures toward me with his free hand. “That…you know? He can still eat can’t he?”
“Oh, that,” I say and laugh.
“It’s not funny. You know how bad I would feel if I drank all of his milk?”
I smile. “I do, but it’s fine, really. My body always makes milk. It’s making milk right now. It’s fine.”
He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’m so glad. I was going to feel like shit if he couldn’t eat now and we had to give him formula.”
“That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, we’re lucky to have it if we need it. I have to ask, what did it taste like?”
“Not like milk. Watery but sweet. I don’t know, I can’t explain it any better. Just taste it if you want,” he suggests.
I consider it, but decide not to. I’m slightly afraid I’ll think it’s gross and feel bad that Eddie enjoyed it.
I drop the wipes I used onto my nightstand and hold my hands out so I can take the baby.
Eddie holds the baby away from himself, but just looks at him.
“Do you ever just want to stare at him forever? I can’t believe that he’s ours. We made him. He’s so fucking perfect. I’ve never in my whole life done anything good…but somehow this is my son. I don’t know…I probably sound stupid…”
I kiss his cheek. “You don’t sound stupid at all. I feel the same way. Sometimes like he’s too perfect and something bad will happen.”
I wish my parents were alive so they could meet my baby, their grandson. But of course, if they were alive everything would be different and I wouldn’t have a baby.
Amanda settles in being a mom about as easily as I did. Lynne and Maggie stay for a few days and then head back home.
It’s strange how quickly you figure out your new normal. It’s like I’ve always been a mom. This is how things, how my life, should be.
After breakfast, we head outside to work in the garden. We leave the baby in his seat on the porch so he’s out of the sun but we can still hear him if he cries.
It’s going to be pretty hot this afternoon so I’m hoping we can get finished out here and maybe hang out at the pond.
We have to be in the dead middle of summer. It’s hot.
I’m sitting behind the tomato plants pulling weeds when I think I hear something. I look toward the porch to check the baby and he’s snoozing away.
I look up at Eddie. He’s a couple of rows over from me, in front of me. He has his head slightly cocked but he’s still looking down and working.
I decide if he’s not worried then it must be the animals or nothing to be worried about.
“Think we could go have lunch by the pond later?” I ask him.
“I think that’s a pretty good idea. Finish up here and we can make a picnic lunch. Just hang out there until dinner time.”
“As long as someone cooperates,” I say and look toward the porch.
The baby has been fussy lately. Not sleeping very well and just…grouchy. Lynne says he seems healthy so she’s not sure what it could be other than just colic. I’m always afraid he’s going to get sick…like he’s sick already but it’s suppressed or something and one day we’ll wake up and he’ll be really sick or maybe even dead.
The wind blows and it feels amazing. It’s so hot right now so the breeze feels nice. And it’s pretty humid today.
“Shit,” Eddie mutters.
“What?”
He sighs. “Nothing. I just knocked a tomato off. It’s hard and green and nowhere near ready.”
He picks it up and starts to throw it.
“Don’t throw it!”
He holds it out to me so I can see it.
“Why not? It’s useless.”
“It’s not useless. We can fry it or I bet we could chop it up and put it in something. If nothing else the chickens will eat it,” I explain.
“You’re right. We can’t waste it. I’m just pissed at myself for knocking it off.”
“It’s okay, not the first time, won’t be the last that we pick something before it’s ripe,” I say.
The wind is picking up. I hold my hair up to catch some of the breeze on the back of my neck.
“Does the air smell different?” I ask Eddie.
He sits back on his heels and sniffs the air. He shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe a little bit.”
I sniff again. “I bet it’s going to rain, the air feels really moist.”
“Maybe, doesn’t smell like rain though…not sure what it is.”
I sit there thinking what it could be. I smell the usual stuff from the animals but there’s an underlying scent.
We both lean back down and start working again. I think we both want to hurry and finish before it rains or to go to the pond if it doesn’t rain.
My back is starting to hurt so I sit up to stretch my back out. When I see someone standing by the barn it doesn’t startle me at first. I don’t know why, but he doesn’t seem out of place. It’s like an old flashback or something. There were always people around the farm. People helping my dad, or someone coming to look at the animals, always men there for one reason or another. Then I remember this isn’t normal now and no one should be here.
“Eddie…”
He looks up at me but then looks away sort of looking behind me. He gets up quickly and comes over to where I am.
“Can I help you,” Eddie says.
I’m confused at first. How does he know someone is behind him?
“That’s not very friendly,” I hear someone behind me say and that’s when I realize there’s more than one person here.
“There’s someone by the barn,” I tell Eddie.
I start to turn around to see so I can see who’s talking, Eddie grabs my arm.
“Stay close to me,” he says.
When I turn toward the voice I’m surprised to see two people. The first guy I saw by the barn joins the other two so there are three strangers here.
I have so many thoughts going through my mind. I don’t feel safe with these people. It’s three men. Impossible to gauge their ages because they look really rough. They’re all filthy. Hair long and unkempt. Facial hair that hasn’t been taken care of. Clothes are so dirty I couldn’t tell you what color they originally were.
I get it, it’s hard to stay clean now, but at least we try. They haven’t tried. Not in a long time. Now I know exactly what the smell was from earlier. They all smell terrible. I’ve heard smells described before as putrid, but until now I didn’t know what that meant. They smell like rotting flesh, decaying, festering, dirty, urine, every kind of waste including human, maybe even some vomit thrown in, but they smell like every gross thing imaginable.
They also look hollow and desperate.
For the first time in a long time or maybe even ever, I wish Spencer would come out here. I don’t like that we’re outnumbered.
“I don’t mean to come across as rude, but I also don’t like people sneaking up on me. We haven’t seen any people in a long time,” Eddie says.
“We haven’t either. Everybody’s dead,” one of the men says.
“Are you guys from around here?” Eddie asks.
“I don’t know where the fuck we are but no. We’ve been walking forever. Months,” the one guy says.
He seems to be the one ‘in charge’ I guess he’s the only one that has spoken so far.
I honestly can’t tell what age any of them are. Anywhere from twenties to forties…maybe. The way they look though, so disheveled, it’s foreign to me. They all look miserable. Dark circles under their hollow eyes.
“Where are you going?” Eddie asks.
“Fuck if I know. Just trying to stay alive I guess. Trying to find something to eat. Everything is wiped out.”
“Yeah…it’s been bad,” Eddie replies.
“Got any food?” one of the other men asks.
Eddie hesitates. I know he doesn’t want to share our food with them and he also doesn’t want them to know how much food we have.
“Um…we might have some apples…” he starts to say.
“Apples? We don’t want some fucking apples. I could go pick damned apples. We want real food. I know you got some real food here,” the main guy says.
“We don’t really have anything…uh…it’s been a long time since we found any food,” Eddie says.
“That’s bullshit,” the guy says walking closer to us.
Eddie reaches behind him. I know he’s reaching for his gun. “Just stay back…please.”
Surprisingly the guy stops where he is, about fifteen feet from us.
“You’re not being very neighborly. Not sharing. Isn’t that what people around here do? Share everything? I feel like you should be nice and share,” the guy says while he’s staring at me.
Eddie moves closer to me. “I’m being as nice as I’m going to be. I think maybe you guys have wandered into the wrong place and maybe you need to turn around and go back to wherever you came from. You can’t just sneak up on people and expect them to be friendly and hand over everything. I might give you a little something to eat but I’m going to tell you right now to back the fuck off.”
The one guy looks at the other two, then back at Eddie and me. “Calm down man. Y’all got this nice place, looks like you aren’t hurting for shit, I figured you’d be happy to share with us. We’ve been nice. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen any people…”
“A damn long time,” one of the other guys says.
“So sorry if I came across as rude…but I see that you’re all settled in here, been here a while too from the looks of everything…”
“Yeah we are, and there’s nothing stopping you from finding a place and getting settled in. Plenty of places everywhere,” Eddie says interrupting him.
The baby starts fussing. I feel my stomach drop down to my feet. Right now they’re all closer to the baby than me and Eddie. I swear to god if any of them try to go near the baby I’ll kill them.
The three men all turn their heads toward the porch, then back to us.
The main guy smiles. “Looks like you have everything here that we need.”
“Mara, take the baby in the house,” Eddie says.
I look at him. I can tell he’s scared but I also know he will do anything he’s capable of to keep me and the baby safe.
“Eddie…I’m not…” I start to tell him I’m not leaving him out there alone.
“Mara…take the baby…into the house…now,” he says cutting me off.
I look at these three men that have severely affected my life. I look back at Eddie, I kiss his cheek, I smile. I pretend like everything is normal. I don’t want them to think I’m worried or scared. I start walking toward the house. A few tears run down my cheeks. I pick up the baby, look back at Eddie afraid this is the last time I might see him, and I go into the house.
I’m not sure what to do once I get in the house. Grab a gun or two and run outside? I want to put the baby down and do something, but I’m afraid to not have him with me. I saw three guys but I don’t know if there were more people or not. We never lock the doors, anyone could be in the house already.
I hear someone coming down the stairs. Luckily I’ve gotten familiar with Spencer and Amanda’s footstep patterns so I know it’s them.
“I think we’re going down to the pond, want to come? Where’s Eddie? Are you alright, you look strange,” Amanda says.
“I’m not…he’s outside…there’s people here…some guys. He’s out there. Told me to take the baby in the house,” I say trying to explain.
“There’s people here? How many?” Spencer asks walking over to the window and looking out.
“Those three guys? Do they know I’m here?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“Do they have guns? Any sort of weapon? What did they say?” he asks.
“They creeped up on us. It was scary. Asked about food but Eddie hesitated telling them we have anything. They started being jerks about it, well one of them did.”
“Does he have his gun?” Spencer asks.
“Eddie? Yeah, he has his little one, the one he always has, that’s it though. Should we go out there? I don’t like that he’s outnumbered.”
“Fuck! Fuck! I need to go out there…but maybe I should wait. Even if I go out there, we’re outnumbered. I can probably take them out from here. I could get at least one…maybe two before they figure out what’s going on. Mara, do you think you could get one?” he asks me.
“What? Like kill someone?”
“Yeah. We have to kill them. You said they were sketchy…right? They’re just going to off us and take our shit probably. We can’t just share some of our food and let them go on their merry fucking way they’ll just come back one night and kill us and take everything,” he says.
I look at Amanda who’s just standing there crying. Fucking useless. Spencer is right though. I hate that he’s right, but he’s right. We have to kill them or they’re going to kill us and take everything we’ve worked so hard for.
Spencer is still standing by the sink looking out the window.
“Alright, you go out there. I need to know what they’re talking about, what it seems like they’re thinking. Don’t mention me…don’t mention us,” he says gesturing between him and Amanda. “You’re going to go out there and be as fucking calm and relaxed as you can be. And you’re going to smile and tell your hubby that it’s almost lunch time and will his guests be joining you so you can make extra and bring it out. Stay out there for a few minutes and get a feel of what they’re thinking and then you come back in here and tell me what I need to do.”
I know he’s right. It’s them or us. I hate this.
I nod my head. I hand my baby to Amanda. I wipe my face off, take a deep breath, paint a smile on my face, open the door, and I go back outside.
I can tell as soon as Eddie looks at me that it hasn’t been going well. He seems so confused by my smile. I wish I could convey something to him to let him know Spencer is watching everything.
I snuggle up to Eddie, kiss his cheek. “Hey, lunch is almost ready, should I bring out enough for everybody?”
“Where’s the baby?” he asks.
“He fell right back to sleep so I put him in his bed. I thought I would make some tuna salad…what do you think? Maybe some mac and cheese too? Or would grilled cheese be better?”
I can tell he’s so confused. I wish I could tell him that Spencer has a plan.
“Sounds like you have a lot of food…maybe you’ve been lying to us,” the one guy says.
Eddie shakes his head. “No…it’s just…you know…I got a wife and kid to take care of.”
The guy takes a couple steps closer to us, Eddie holds up his hand.
“You got this nice place, food, a wife…”
“I do…you could too. Find a place, get settled. There’s plenty of places around,” Eddie says.
The guy walks closer to us, looking at me the whole time. “Wouldn’t be the same would it? Because I wouldn’t have everything you have…”
“Dude…I swear to god…you take another step closer and I’ll fucking kill you. Now if you want some food, I’ll help you out, but you touch her, I’m going to kill you. She’s been nice, offering to make lunch, don’t fuck it up for your friends.”
“Anyone want a drink? There’s water in the well, it’s nice and cold, or I could make some Kool Aid or something. Why don’t you guys sit at the table,” I say and gesture toward the picnic table. “I’ll go grab some sandwiches.”
I squeeze Eddie’s hand. “I’ll be right back.”
Spencer meets me at the door.
“So what’s going on? What’d they say? Eddie looks pissed.”
I shrug my shoulders. “He is. They want…” I sigh. “Me, I think.”
“Of course they do. Probably haven’t fucked a woman in a long time. You’re not going back out there. I’ll go. Surprise them.”
I shake my head. “I can do this. I said I was coming in to get food, so I’ll bring some out. While they’re eating I’ll come back in and then me and you can surprise them and…we’ll do what we have to do.”
I grab some cups, a bottle of fruit punch we picked up somewhere, and a plate of muffins I made earlier to take outside.
“I’m going to take this stuff out there…just keep watching, please. I’ll leave this stuff out there, try to see if any of them have a gun, then I’ll be back and we can figure out what we’re going to do.”
“Here you go,” I say while setting the stuff on the table. “I know you have to be hungry so I thought you could have some muffins while I work on the sandwiches. I made them this morning. There’s blueberry and banana nut. They’re just from a mix but they’re not bad. Oh, and I brought out some fruit punch. Help yourselves and I’ll bring the sandwiches out when I’m finished.”
“Do you need my help inside?” Eddie asks.