“It’s hard to explain, but it just isn’t the same thing. I mean, in a community where we’re all wearing nothing but a smile, it’s really no big deal once you get over that first rush. But trying to say you’re interested in someone, putting your heart out there…I mean, you can be fully clothed and that still makes you feel naked. Not nude, but naked, you know?”
“I do, Nick, I do!” Janice helped herself to a touch of his hand across the table, and to her delight he squeezed back. “That’s why it’s really sweet, the way you just went ahead and said it. And I had a great time that day, too, really.”
“Thank you!” Nick sighed. “It was a long day today, dealing with some of the kids – you know, summer school, none of them want to be there, and you remember what you treated subs like, of course. You’ve really got to lay down the law with them! But every time I wanted to throw some troublemaker out the window, I thought of tonight.”
“I’m impressed you’re still planning on getting your certification after that experience,” Janice said. “I think I’d probably never want to see the inside of a school again!”
“I never thought I’d want to be a teacher in the first place,” Nick said. “Shy, you know, and teachers hated that. Even the ones I liked had to comment on how I ought to speak up more, as if I could just throw a switch. But I guess that’s what draws me to it now. I want to make sure kids like I was know some adults respect them and don’t think they have to pretend to be an extrovert. And there’s nothing like seeing a kid learn something they didn’t get before. So rewarding!”
“God, that’s refreshing,” Janice said. “I don’t know if Rob or Betty ever told you, our other roommate’s a teacher, and all she ever has to say about it is how much she hates it, and the kids. Always remembering how much she loved being the popular cheerleader and why can’t they all be like that?”
“Yeah, they told me about Audra.” Nick said drily.
He tried. Janice could see he really, really tried to hide his obvious distaste at the very mention of that name. But he couldn’t quite do it.
She thought about letting it go by – after all, hadn’t she nixed any talk of Betty or Rob? But she didn’t want his obvious discomfort spoiling such a wonderful evening. Gently as she could, she said, “Right, I guess your brother knew Audra from school?”
“Barely,” Nick said. “I was the one who knew her well. We were in the same class, all the way up from kindergarten. I’m sorry, Janice, I know she’s your friend, but…”
“Don’t be sorry, Nick. She’s been a real pain in the rear end lately.”
“Believe me, it’s not just lately!”
She wasn’t really sure if she ought to say anything at all to Betty, who did not appear to have budged from the living room couch in all those hours. But she couldn’t keep it all to herself. “I hope you don’t mind if I say I had a wonderful time,” she said in an uncertain tone.
“I mind!” Audra’s voice rang out from the kitchen. Appearing in the doorway in a tank top and cutoffs with a beer in her hand, she went on. “It’s bad enough Betty was mixed up with Rob, now you’ve got to date his baby brother?”
“Rob’s our age,” Janice reminded her.
“I know, I grew up with him, remember?” Audra said, flopping down in her easy chair. “I didn’t mean ‘baby’ that way. Nick…he’s not all there. He’s got major issues. I’ll tell you right now, Jan, I don’t want him coming over here.”
“You think he’d ever come in your home in the first place?” Janice snapped. She knew exactly what Audra meant by calling him a baby, for Nick had told her all about what she’d put him through back at school, and she was too disgusted with Audra to talk about it right now. Not wanting to lose what was left of the joy she’d been feeling throughout the evening, she gave Betty a sympathetic look and walked out through the kitchen to their balcony.
Looking out at the stars and ignoring the stray sounds of a few fellow tenants in the courtyard below, Janice tried to enjoy the lovely moment. A new romance, she lived with her best friend, and the bad old days were farther in the rearview mirror every day. But when it came to Audra, the best she could do was hope her spending more time with Nick would get under her skin.
She wasn’t surprised when she heard steps in the kitchen behind her. But she was pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t Audra but Betty who appeared over her shoulder. “How’s Nick?” she asked.
“Wonderful,” Janice said. “I promise we didn’t talk about you, though. We made a point of avoiding it. Or Rob.”
“So you don’t know how Rob’s doing either?” Betty’s voice had an unavoidable note of disappointment.
“We already know more of your business than we should,” Janice said. “And we were there to get to know each other better. But you know we both want to see you two make up.”
“I think I do, too,” Betty sighed.
“You think?”
“Well, he hasn’t called me either,” Betty said.
“Probably for the same reason why you haven’t called him,” Janice said more gently than she really wanted to. “One of you does have to go first. Besides, didn’t you say you did want to join them for you-know-what?”
“I said it sounded like fun,” Betty admitted. “But I do still have my concerns about what Rob’ll think about my body.”
Unbeknownst to them, Audra had been listening in from the kitchen. At this, she piped up: “I can still get you a waxing appointment, Bets.”
Betty stared straight ahead, not wanting Audra to see she was near tears again. Janice had no such inhibitions. “Audra, haven’t you done enough damage already here?”
“Oh, come on!” Audra said. “I guess my trick with the church clothes was a little mean, but – ”
“It wasn’t.” Betty had found her self-control again, and turned around to face Audra. “Rob loved that outfit, I told you. And I kind of enjoyed dressing up, too.”
“You don’t have to lie about it, Betty,” Audra needled. Having finished her beer, she tossed the can in the recycling bin without rinsing it. “Scoot over, I want to join your klatch.”
“Actually, I was just thinking of hitting the sack,” Betty said, and she squeezed past Audra to step back into the kitchen.
“I’m done, too,” Janice said.
“Oh, come on, join me for another beer!” Audra protested.
“I’ll think about it,” Janice lied. “But first things first, I’m ready to get out of this bra.”
Audra laughed. “I don’t see how either one of you can go without a bra, even at home. But whatever.”
Betty lost her resolve and turned to give Audra a dirty look, but Audra was facing away and didn’t see it. Janice patted her comfortingly on the back, inadvertently discovering that Betty already wasn’t wearing a bra.
And all at once she got an idea. “Betty, come to my room!” she whispered.