“So, which one are you going to try out first?” I whispered into Mike’s ear while draping my arms around his neck.
“Gosh,” he said, flinching and almost spilling his coffee. “Don’t creep up on me like that, Maria.” He pulled one of my arms from his shoulder, and quickly looked around his office. “We’ve got to be careful, you know that. If someone else finds out about what we’ve been–”
“Relax,” I said, before blowing a raspberry. “Everyone else has already gone home for the weekend. It’s only the two of us.” I stepped around and swivelled his chair so he was facing me. Immediately, his eyes almost popped out of his head as he gawped at what I was wearing: red high heels and stockings, along with a sexy little Mrs Santa costume. I twirled on the spot, before flashing him a seductive smile; biting my lip in the process. “Are you ready to unwrap your present?”
“Oh Christ,” he said. “Christmas has come early, hasn’t it?” He was already pulling me onto his lap and grabbing my ass.
I took my Santa hat and plopped it on his head, before grabbing his tie and wrapping it around my fingers. “Come here,” I said, and I leant in for a kiss.
“God, you’re so hot,” he whispered, as he began devouring my neck; his fingers fumbling to unzip my getup. Once he finally tugged it down, I wriggled my shoulders free and pulled the costume down around my hips, my black, lacy bra revealed.
I smirked as he moved down to my breasts, nuzzling into my ample cleavage, all while moaning and writhing beneath me. Ever since my first interview at the company, I’d noticed the lingering looks from my boss, Mike. I’d first got the job through my mother, who had worked as a cleaner for the firm. When the opportunity came for a receptionist position, she’d recommended me, stating how much I was a hard worker. After flunking out of high school, things had been difficult, and I’d been moving between shelf-stacking positions at the local supermarkets in order to top up my mother’s rent. The truth was, I’d never moved out of my mother’s apartment and we really needed the money. With both of our crappy jobs, we were barely covering expenses, and she’d been trying to land me a position at many of the companies she’d cleaned at. Most would politely say they’d have a look; but we’d never hear anything back.
Apparently, Mike had initially been reluctant upon seeing my severely lacking resumé, the same as everyone else did once noting I had zero qualifications or credentials. I didn’t even have a high school diploma to my name, so it wasn’t like I could argue or anything. However, there was one attribute I had going for me, and Mike soon realised it was something that his company could really benefit from. Well, perhaps not his company, but rather, he could benefit from.
You see, when one time I came by the office to drop off my mother’s lunch, his tune suddenly changed. I’d been sure to wear my tightest blouse, my shortest skirt and put extra effort into my hair and make-up. While I’d been talking to the temporary receptionist, he’d come over, stuttering and stammering while enquiring about who I was. I knew men well enough, so when the sudden turnaround of an offer for an interview came for the next day, I’d already suspected that he was going to be putty in my hands.
That receptionist job had only lasted three weeks before we were sleeping together. I honestly didn’t care that he was married, or had children, because for me it was just a bit of fun and, if anything, career progression. We were hardly going to run off together, were we? Obviously, he became smitten, and suddenly our occasionally trysts in a grotty motel weren’t enough.
Mike evidently wanted more alone time together, and I soon found myself promoted to his personal assistant, with my own desk in the corner of his office. Of course, this supplied me with plenty of opportunity to wrap him around my finger, even though some of the other employees were already making noises about how I wasn’t qualified for the position. One in particular was a real pain in the butt, a young African American girl that thought she was the bee’s knees. She was one of those jobsworth sorts that thinks they know everything and sees herself as a future CEO.
Anyway, she had complained one time after I had answered Mike’s phone and informed her that he was currently in a meeting; he was actually on his knees between my spread legs, each of my feet perched on the desk. While I had humoured her, biting my lip and trying not to moan, she became impatient and demanded to speak to him, as she apparently had an important matter that they needed to discuss immediately. It couldn’t wait, so she had professed again and again. Meanwhile, I had been on the other end of the call, twirling my hair in my fingers while I’d watched the boss greedily eat my young snatch. “He’s busy,” I had said. “I’ll let you know when he’s done, alright? Geez, calm down.”
There had been a tut, and then, in a firm tone, she’d said, “Who do you think you’re talking to right now?”
“Alyssa, right?” I’d still been rolling my eyes back in my head in pleasure while the boss man gave me my weekly bonus. Alyssa had always been a total pain in the ass since the very first day I’d arrived. There had been obvious jealousy spurring on her attitude, as clearly, I was younger and way more attractive. My father had emigrated from Mexico, and along with my mother’s good looks, I was left with beautiful, supple, tanned skin, dark hair and similarly dark come-to-bed eyes. Alyssa, meanwhile, seemed to resent me for my physical experience, which was completely out of my control. It was the only explanation I could reason with, as she was hostile constantly and nit-picked whatever work I did. She’d snarl or mumble beneath her breath whenever I was within earshot. It was incredibly immature and had led to a somewhat hostile working environment.
As far as I was concerned, she needed to grow the hell up. It wasn’t my fault that she was a few years older and possessed what could be considered average looks. I mean, she wasn’t ugly or anything, even moderately pretty, to guys into that sort of thing, but she just didn’t stand out, if that made sense. Her skin was a little browner than mine, and her hair was shorter and frizzy. Her hips were a little wider, and overall, she just didn’t have the same presence that I possessed. But the real difference was in how we dressed. I preferred casual summer dresses that hung off my curves, along with non-descript comfortable slip-on sneakers, whereas Alyssa was a stickler for professional clothes. Blouses, skirts, and even sometimes dress pants were her go-to, along with a battered old pair of flats that were in dire-need of retirement. It was plain and boring, which kind of suited her personality well. Sometimes she’d come in with her hair straightened, which was an obvious attempt to try and compete with me, but still, her efforts would fall flat. One time she wore the most ridiculously bright red lipstick, clearly trying to steal my shine, which left me rolling my eyes. A little of my own pink, glittery lip gloss swiftly restored the natural order of things.
She’d had it out for me since the first minute I’d breezed through the door and turned Mike’s head. She’d been bugging Mike with something or other through his emails on a daily basis; the pair of us often giggling while having a read as I was sat in his lap over lunch. Once she had gotten hold of my number, well, that had been it: I had suddenly been thrust into the firing line of her irritation and she was able to hassle me directly. She had pestered me with all sorts of complaints ever since, like trying to arrange meetings and constantly needing Mike to approve work. It had almost been like she couldn’t do it herself or whatever. Like, what the hell? I’d constantly think: just do it yourself, would you? But, the worst was when she’d try and stick her nose into my work, dropping comments that things needed improving, or even worse, sending emails highlighting all of my ‘mistakes’. That had become a real gripe of mine, as she was such a pedant and constantly made a mountain out of a molehill. She’s not professional, she’d whine to anyone that would listen. She doesn’t even have a college degree, was another constant accusation that she threw around the office. How did she even get the job?
Like I said, pure jealousy and exaggeration. If I forwarded a group email, she’d ‘reply all’ with some snarky correction of any error she could find. People make mistakes, and spelling and grammatical errors really aren’t that big of a deal. Unless Alyssa was involved, that is. One time I had scheduled a meeting for the wrong day, and she had acted like it was the end of the world when the client arrived and Mike had already been on the train somewhere else. I’d meant to type ‘next Tuesday’, but somehow wrote ‘Thursday’ instead. I have no idea how it happened, I had probably been busy with something else, but anyway, that’s not the point. It had been pathetic watching her usher the guy into an office and playing the hero. Apparently, he had signed the contract anyway, so, like, why make such a bother? She’d spent the rest of the week ranting and raving about my ‘massive’ error that almost cost us a lucrative deal; announcing constantly how she’d swooped in and saved the day. Totally pathetic!
Even during that initial confrontation on the phone, she still hadn’t taken the hint and done the cordial thing with a hang up. I had been approaching orgasm with the ministrations of Mike’s tongue, and yet, that oblivious twit had been groaning on and whining in my ear. “Yeah,” she had said. “I’ve been working here for four years straight out of college. How long have you been working here?”
“I dunno,” I’d said. “Couple of weeks.” I’d bitten my lip and rolled my eyes closed, struggling not to whimper down the line. “Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does. So, watch your tone with me.” She had let out a sigh, before she cleared her throat. “Just let me know when he’s finished so I can run this stuff by him. It’s important and needs signing off today. The client is ready to finalise things and we can get started on Monday.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll let you know when he’s…finished.” I had rolled my eyes as I hung up, and just to make a point, I had waited until about five minutes before the work day was over before I told Mike all about it, you know, just to teach her a lesson and all. Apparently, they’d had to stay an extra hour after closing to go over everything before the weekend, which I had found hilarious. Mike had tried to chew me out for it later that evening at the motel, but I’d swiftly worked my magic and talked him around. Alyssa had harped on about it for days, declaring that it was another example of my inability to do my job properly, but I don’t know why she was so uptight about it all? She had gotten to book unscheduled overtime, and who did she have to thank for that? Me! She should have been bloody applauding me after I orchestrated that situation for her.
Once we were finished up, and Mike returned from the restroom, I was in the process of changing back into my usual work attire. Even though I looked sexy as hell, I wasn’t about to head back to my mom’s house dressed like Mrs Santa the Christmas slut, was I?
“So, what did you get for Secret Santa anyway?” he asked with a smirk as I turned from the mirror while buttoning up my dress. “Better than last year?”
I rolled my eyes, and poked out my tongue. “You know exactly what I got,” I said while glancing towards the costume on the floor. “Did it look as good as you imagined?”
“Most definitely.” He strode over, and wrapped his arms around my waist, before leaning in and planting a kiss on my cheek. “I was a bit worried about getting you that, but it felt naughty, you know?”
“Yeah, I felt the same.”
“I have to get off anyway.”
I giggled. “Didn’t you get off enough already?”
“Naughty girl.” He gave my butt a playful slap and squeeze. “Nancy and I are taking the kids over her mom’s. She has a load of gifts for them.”
I initially scowled at the mention of her, however, when he stepped back from the hug, I was sure to put on a fake smile. I mean, I knew we were never going to get married or anything, and this was just a load of fun for me. Well, fun that was actually of use since he’d been favouring me in promotions since we had started fucking. But, on a few occasions, he’d blown me off so spend time with his family, and I just found that annoying. I was young and hot, and he preferred to go home to his boring wife and needy kids instead? I’d even suggested that he blow them off, instead of me, and he’d just sighed and said that wasn’t an option. Every week there seemed to be a whole new excuse about why his family was so important. First, it was one of the kid’s birthdays, then it was Halloween, next came Thanksgiving, and now, he didn’t want to ruin his children’s Christmas. I mean, I understood, of course, they were innocent in all of this, and if he abruptly ditched them around the holidays, well, it would probably ruin the occasion for the rest of their lives. But still, if he wanted to keep me interested in him, then he was going to have to put the effort in. I was a damn catch, and he should have been thankful that I gave him the time of day.
I’d even made plans for the upcoming Valentine’s in the new year, booking us a weekend retreat together on his company card, and hoping that was the moment when we could take things to the next level. Ever since I’d been promoted to supervisor, after only a couple of months as his assistant, I’d had my eyes on eventually getting to run my own office. We were just one of four offices in the district, and though Mike was of course the head of this one, there was another that now had an opening. The usual manager would soon be taking maternity leave during the spring, and they were currently interviewing for a position of temporary cover. It was the perfect opportunity for me to up my salary, and once I had my foot in the door, I was going to do everything to stay there and get rid of the woman I was covering. That was my plan, and though I’d dropped hints, Mike was strangely reluctant to put my name forward. Whenever I asked why, he’d look away and change the subject. It was really starting to get at me, as I was obviously capable since he’d made me supervisor and all. Valentine’s was the perfect occasion to get him where I wanted him, and make sure he understood my way of thinking. There was still some doubt about the date actually happening though, and I expected he was going to drop a bombshell that it wouldn’t be fair to Nancy to ditch her on such a romantic holiday.
Anyway, I didn’t want to talk about his wife and kids, because it always made me feel like a rotten homewrecker. That wasn’t who I was at all. Things had been organic with Mike, and had developed over time. I couldn’t help my feelings and the way we seemed to be drawn to each other. It wasn’t as if I deliberately set out to ruin the marriage of a taken man. It was just a consequence of working so closely together those first few days I’d started at the company. Things happen, you know? If anyone was to blame, it was him. He was the one in the senior position, after all, and if anything, I’d been taken advantage of.
“I’ve bought Jonny the new game console he asked for, and Charlotte is getting the dollhouse with all of the extras and stuff.” He nodded as if he expected me to join the conversation with enthusiasm. “And, well, I’ve bought Nancy–”
“Anyway,” I said, attempting to distract him. “What did you think of your Secret Santa this year?” I fluttered my eyelashes while chewing the corner of my mouth.
“I thought you were the best gift I’ve ever received. The sexiest little secret Santa one could ask for.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know that, but I’m talking about your actual gift.” We’d been given a list of gifts we were supposed to select from; rather boring, mundane items that would end up in the trash. When I’d noticed I’d drawn Mike, well, I threw that list where it belonged and went for something a bit more fun. It wasn’t like anyone else was going to see it, was it? From the sexy costume I’d received from him, evidently, he’d done the same thing. I guess the same rules didn’t apply for us as everyone else in the office?
Anyway, I’d bought him one of those naughty adult voucher booklets while perusing the local sex shop. It was the kind of thing that could be brushed off as a gag gift between girlfriends, but I definitely wanted him to take advantage and use those vouchers. I’d had a quick flick-through, and there were all kinds of exciting activities contained within. Some were to redeem fairly vanilla things, such as doing the housework for a day or cooking a meal. Others were romantic such as offering a steamy foot massage or kisses on demand. Then, there were the racier and more exciting vouchers, such as the oral and anal sex options. Those were the ones I had my eye on, because they would be a reminder of just how much more exciting I was than his wife, and how much he needed to keep me happy if he wanted to make his way through the whole booklet. I was pretty damn sure that once he realised that I would willingly do whatever the voucher stated, that he would in turn become more willing to support me in my career ascension.
There were a load of other vouchers too which weren’t of particular interest to me, falling into a more kinky category, like slave for a day, being a pet or toe-sucking. I figured that we could play around, and Mike could redeem a voucher from me whenever we had some alone time. We could even make fun of the tamer stuff, like for the cleaning voucher, I could dress up as a French maid and make a whole role play of it, which would eventually lead to some hot sex. Some of them, such as the foot massage, I even intended to use myself, since there was no way I was going near Mike’s feet. I planned to just playfully giggle, snatch it from him, and call it in myself.
I’d included a teasing card along with the booklet, telling him all of the naughty things I was willing to do and how nothing was out of bounds. I’d signed off the card as ‘your secret slut’, the playful nickname he’d used for me ever since our first tryst. The envelope was addressed to ‘sexy ass’, a similarly playful nickname I’d had for him, due to his tight buns from his penchant for racquet ball.
The card had been blunt and to the point: the vouchers could be used as much as he wanted, and wherever he wanted, even while we were in work. It was a big risk, and if HR got wind out of, well, we would both probably get in trouble. But, we’d agreed before hand that if we drew each other in the game, we’d pick gifts that we could really enjoy. The Mrs Santa costume and the stockings combo from him was testament to that, and if he had taken such a risk, then, why couldn’t I?
“It was kind of lame,” he said with a shrug.
My face immediately soured, and I couldn’t hide my disappointment. I’d honestly thought he would love it, particularly all of the dirty things that were listed within the vouchers. It was some shit straight out of Fifty Shades of Grey, and definitely the sort of fun that he wouldn’t ever get to enjoy with his prude of a wife.
“What’s wrong?” he asked while noting the change in my mood.
“I put a lot of thought into that.” I took a seat in his desk chair and pouted; swivelling it from side to side. “I thought you’d love it.”
Mike wrinkled his forehead and looked terribly confused. “What do you mean? Put your thought into what?”
“Your Secret Santa gift?”
The confusion remained in his face. “I got some coffee mug from Meredith. You know, usual junk that’ll go straight in the cupboard and will never be used.”
“Why would you get something from Meredith?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “I was your Secret Santa?”
Mike looked confused. “Meredith was my Secret Santa, and I was yours.”
I cocked my head, confusion consuming me. “No…that’s not what it was.”
Mike took out his phone and opened the group email that the receptionist, Jennifer, had arranged. She’d done some random draw thing to pair us all up, then we’d given our gifts to her and she’d dispersed them anonymously. In the email was a table, outlining who we were chosen as a Secret Santa for. Only Mike had been privy to the pairings, just in case any inappropriate gifts were given and things could be traced back, but since I was in his office all of the time, of course, I’d had a snoop so I could get ahead of the game. I mean, if I drew someone else, it would have been a bummer and I’d have probably just bought them something cheap and crappy from the list, but I was over the moon to see that I’d drawn him. I hadn’t even bothered to open the email from Jennifer regarding my match when it came days later, because I’d already bought Mike’s gift by that point. As he brought the spreadsheet up, I leaned over his shoulder and pointed at his row.
“See,” I said. “Right there. It says I’m your Secret Santa. Mike”–I tapped my finger on his name, before tracing it along the row until my own–“Maria. See, I was supposed to buy you a gift.”
“No,” he said, while following the same line with his finger. “That’s saying I’m your Secret Santa.”
“Oh. No, wait, what…” I hesitated while swallowing nervously. “I thought that meant I was supposed to buy something for you. I thought we were like a pair and we bought each other something.” My eyes rapidly scrolled down the table. “This can’t be right.”
“That’s not how Secret Santa works,” he said with a chuckle. “That would be pretty boring, wouldn’t it? Didn’t Jennifer tell you who you had drawn? She was supposed to email everyone individually.”
“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I was so focused on the table, that I wasn’t really listening to what he was saying. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never really worked somewhere like this before.” I pouted again, somewhat disappointed that I’d screwed everything up. “How is that even secret anyway, if you know everything that was sent and to who?”
“Yeah, I know, it sucks,” he said. “It used to really be secret, but then we had some problems with HR because one of the guys sexually harassed a girl with a gift that crossed the line. I had to fire the idiot because he bought her lingerie. I mean, what was he thinking? Now they want everything out in the open so that doesn’t happen again.” He looked at me shyly. “I mean, obviously, we’re not going to tell anyone about what I bought you, right?”
“Yeah, of course…” I trailed off as a thought occurred to me. “Wait, if you didn’t get my gift, then who did?” I looked back towards the screen as panic set in, and I could already feel my heart quicken in its beat. My blood was pumping through my veins as I imagined one of the other staff members opening Mike’s gift. Whoever received it was surely going to make fun of me. I swallowed a mouthful of saliva as I considered how embarrassing it would be, but then, I felt lightheaded as a certain possibility occurred to me. “Oh shit!” I clamped my hand over my mouth, then stared at Mike with wide eyes. “Imagine I–”
“What?” he asked, laughing as part of the joke. However, when I was still looking at him in a panic, his face dropped. “What? Maria? What have you done?”
“Oh my God,” I said, as I began shaking all over. “Oh my God.”
“What is it?” he asked, as his own panic began to rise. “Calm down, and tell me what you’ve done.” Mike’s forehead was already beginning to collect beads of sweat, as he quickly scrolled down the list. When he settled on my name, he squeezed his phone tightly, almost to the point I thought he was going to snap it in half. His eyes closed for an extended blink, while he let out a deep, devastated sigh.
“What?” I asked anxiously, shoving him in the arm. “What is it?
“You drew Alyssa,” he said, almost in resignation; my worst nightmare coming to fruition. “You were Alyssa’s Secret Santa.”
“Whaaaaat?” I asked aghast, as I leant in close and blinked a few times while looking at the table. “You can’t be serious.” The possibility of drawing Alyssa had scared me shitless, but seeing it was a reality left me almost keeling over.
“Have they already given out the rest of the gifts?”
“I don’t know,” I said as my mouth ran dry. “I just, umm, took yours and left while Jennifer was still handing all the others out. I just assumed you’d received mine and were going to use one of the vouchers later.”
“Vouchers?” he asked with curiosity. “What sort of vouchers?”
“Oh….nothing big,” I lied with a gulp, already stressing over the ramifications of what I’d done. The last thing I needed was Mike knowing the full extent of my gift and getting on my back over it. He was a total stress-head when it came to people discovering about what we’d been up to. “It was these fun little playful IOU voucher things. You know the sort, like, you can, ummm, use this voucher to go make me a coffee and stuff. I thought it would be fun between us?”
He blinked while he was processing what I was saying. “It was all innocent though, yeah? I don’t remember that being on the approved list of gifts.”
I thought back over all of the racy suggestions contained in that booklet. “Yeah,” I said with a shaky voice. “Yeah, definitely innocent. I just thought the list was boring, so I went for something a bit more fun.” My fingers were shaking so much, that I interlocked them behind my back. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Phew,” he said while wiping his forehead. “The last thing we’d want is her running her mouth off to HR. She’s a bleeding snitch. Do you know how many emails I get from her tattling on everyone else? She’s been at me for weeks to fire you!”
“What?” I asked in complete surprise. “Fire me? Why? What have I done?” I knew Alyssa had it in for me, I’d seen enough of her complaining emails myself, but I never realised it had reached the level where she’d wanted me fired.
“She’s still not over losing out on that promotion to you and she’s constantly complaining about you being unprofessional and unqualified. It’s like she can’t let it go.”
“Well, that’s pathetic,” I said with a snarl. I’d been bloody supervisor for weeks by this point, and she still wasn’t over it? She’d caused such a drama when I’d been appointed instead of her, but I figured that was just sour grapes and eventually she’d just accept it. “She really needs to get over that. I won that promotion fair and square.”
Mike didn’t say anything, but instead, he just blinked, before cocking his head and staring at me, almost with a squint of disbelief.
“What?” I asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence. “What’s with that look?”
“Really, Maria? You know as well as I do that I pulled loads of strings for you to get that. She’s way more qualified. I put my neck on the line giving you that job. I’m just glad you annoys me about it constantly, and hasn’t gone over my head to anyone.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, right. I was a much better candidate than her.” I was way better looking and had a much slimmer figure for a start. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that. Whenever we had to arrange meetings, I’d catch the eyes of any male clients, and unsurprisingly, they’d want to go ahead with the contract straight after. Alyssa acted like she actually played a part in any deals, but it was blatantly obvious that they only signed up to see me again.
Mike scratched his head, and seemed somewhat bemused.
“What? Don’t act like she’s better than me.”
“She might be annoying,” he said. “But she’s good at her job. You can’t take that away from her.”
“Whatever.”
“Anyway.” Mike suddenly let out a light-hearted chuckle. “You actually scared me for a moment there. I thought you’d sent her something dodgy that was going to get us both in trouble. I had like a flash, where I was seeing Alyssa calling up my wife and ruining my life.”
“Do…do you think she’d do that?” I asked with hesitation while tilting my head, my throat becoming dry as the entrails of a mounting anxiety began to take its grip. My back was beginning to perspire as my thoughts were flying everywhere, various consequences to the can of worms I’d opened ravaging my mind.
“Who knows,” he said with wide-eyes. “If you were helping to feed the homeless, she’d probably snitch on you because you didn’t check their dietary needs. She’s a stickler for the rules and doing everything by the book. She’s even had a go at me for not keeping an eye on the recycling bins in the kitchen.”
“But…you’re the boss.”
“Yeah, and that makes me extremely vulnerable if I cock up in some way.” His finger flicked between the two of us. “If anyone got wind of what we’ve been up to, well, that’s curtains for me.” He shrugged. “Probably for you too.”
“But I need this job,” I whispered. My eyes were lurching back and forth while I considered how much of a problem Alyssa could be if she figured out that gift was from me, and even worse, who it was actually meant for. I was hoping that she was the sort who didn’t actually care about Secret Santa and would refuse any gift. I mean, it was just the sort of thing that she constantly complained about, as if a bit of fun should be illegal while at work. But, if she did actually figure things out: what was she going to do?
“Anyway,” he said. “I feel sorry for you the most.”
“What? Why?” I asked with dread. “Should I be worried she’ll do something?”
He squinted and looked momentarily confused. “About what? I just pity the fact you’re going to be fetching Alyssa coffees or whatever else is in your silly gift.” He adjusted his tie and gave a good old belly laugh to himself.
Meanwhile, I gulped as the many vouchers and their various kinky redemptions flickered through my head. Alyssa wouldn’t actually use them, would she?
My weekend was spent biting my nails, worried about what Alyssa was going to do if she figured out the gift was from me. I thought about calling her and trying to straighten things out; getting ahead of the game, so to speak. However, part of me felt that would only draw attention to my guilt. I mean, what if she really didn’t have any interest in receiving the gift? She surely would once I’d called her and piqued her curiosity, wouldn’t she?
Once Monday came around, and after I arrived at the office, I immediately looked over at Alyssa’s desk. Just seeing she was there was enough to send the nerves dancing around inside. I’d spent a good hour the night before, sat up on my couch, glass of wine in hand while I practised a number of excuses that might be able to help me clamber out of the hole I’d dug for myself. I even used my mother as an echo chamber to reassure myself that things weren’t as bad as I feared, though, obviously I didn’t tell her the whole truth.
Most excuses I am up with were useless, and I realised that I really only had three options. The first was to just be totally upfront about everything and hope that Alyssa was willing to keep things secret. Unfortunately, with the way she was, this seemed unlikely. If anything, telling the truth was only going to make things worse. Another option was to pretend it was a joke in bad-taste. That may work, though depended on Alyssa’s mood that day. The third option was to just play ignorant and act like nothing had happened. If Alyssa hadn’t opened the gift, and had no intention of doing so, then this may have been the safest play. However, considering the fact I’d hardly slept over the weekend due to worry, there was always going to be a lingering anxiety that she had opened the gift, figured things out and was calculating how to destroy me.
Over the weekend, while rehearsing an excuse, I’d curse myself for including that damn card along with the gift. If it had only been the booklet of vouchers, I probably could have got away with it as a bad joke between women. I mean, Alyssa probably would have snitched anyway, but at least I would have only received a quiet telling off. I could have even played it off that I didn’t look through the booklet properly, or, that I had intended for it to be used between her and her boyfriend, if she even had one.
The matter of the card blew that reasoning out of the window. The evidence was there, clear as day, and scribbled in my own hand. There were sordid and illicit connotations to the gift. It wasn’t just a gag; it was intended to be used between lovers. Lovers that existed within our company dynamic. Mike was the only male in our office, and he was married. All Alyssa had to do was take that card to Jennifer, and between them, they’d figure out that it had come from me. They’d figure out it was a seedy gift from myself to Mike, and then, all hell would break loose.
As a result, my first port of call Monday morning was Jennifer on the front desk. There was still some small part of me holding on to the hope that she hadn’t actually distributed all of the gifts yet. Alyssa was a despot for leaving bang on time, refusing to stay behind and work overtime; unless I orchestrated a situation where she had no choice. She was also harping on about how workers were exploited and we needed to stand up to the man, and all that stupid crap. Therefore, since I’d received my Secret Santa gift about half-hour after closing, while Mike and I were waiting for Jennifer to shoot off, I hoped that maybe Alyssa had already left before Jennifer had handed out everything. If so, there was a tiny, fractional chance that I could intercept my Secret Santa gift before Jennifer had already distributed it. I could rectify this whole situation before it became a predicament.
“Hi Jen,” I said with an apprehensive smile, though trying to remain innocent and cordial. “How are you this morning?”
She looked up from her computer and adjusted her glasses, before smiling upon noting it was me. “Great, how’s yourself?”
“Yeah, all good.” I picked at a pen that was on top of her desk, trying to act casual and laidback, but likely appearing the total opposite. “Errr, I was just wondering”–I tapped the petal of some flowers on a potted plant–“if you gave out all of the Secret Santa gifts yesterday?” I still pretended to play with the petals, before I looked up nervously and awaited her answer.
Jennifer furrowed her brow. “Is there a problem? You got yours, right?”
“Oh, yes,” I said, perhaps a bit too quickly. “I was just curious about everyone else.”
“Right, okay.” She looked at a list on her desk. “Yes, everyone else received their gift yesterday.” She paused for a moment, looking confused, before she laughed and added, “Ummm, except Alyssa. You know how she is. First out the door.”
Instantly, my face lit up, and I had to take a breath before coming over all giddy. I hardly wanted to let the cat out of the bag that I was relieved she hadn’t had her gift yet. But, I was truly excited at the possibility of getting it back and remedying the whole problem before it had even evolved to something else. Mike was still blissfully unaware of the perilous situation I had put us in, but, I’d proudly inform him once I’d dealt with it. “Yeah, that’ll teach her for always leaving bang on time.”
Jennifer then smiled. “Yes, she went the whole weekend without it, but she had hers this morning, so everyone is happy.”
With that revelation, my face immediately dropped. “Umm.” Of course, she always left on time, but she always arrived on time too. She’d already got her hands on the bloody present before I’d rolled in.
“Is…is everything okay?” Jennifer asked, turning her head with concern. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Oh, umm, nothing.” I swallowed with a notable lump. “I was just thinking of something better I could have bought for someone and was going to try and change last minute, but it’s no big deal.”
Jennifer nodded. “Everyone seems pretty happy with what they received, as far as I know.”
I fingered the flower again. “Even…even Alyssa?” I kept my eyes on the flower, as if I wasn’t even interested in her answer.
“I think so.” She seemed pretty confused. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, you know how she is.”
Jennifer cackled and flapped her hand at me. “Maria, lighten up, will you? I’d stop worrying. She was over the moon, as far as I’m aware. She’s been smiling to herself all morning, so I think you did good.” She gave me a thumbs up, which caused me to blush considering she obviously knew what I was insinuating around. I should have seen it coming, especially since she was the one that had compiled the Secret Santa list in the first place. She was the one that had hand-delivered what could only be construed as leverage, straight into the lap of my company rival. If Alyssa made a big deal out of the gift, well, Jennifer had the evidence that I’d sent it and I’d have no leg to stand on.
Still, I couldn’t let on that I was terrified. I pretended to wipe the sweat from my brow. “Phew,” I said. “That’s a relief. I was worried I’d missed the mark.”
Jennifer rolled her eyes behind her glasses and flashed a sarcastic smile. “It’s just a bit of fun. Don’t take it so serious, Maria.”
I brushed it off, but, for the rest of the day, I couldn’t help but peek out of my office towards Alyssa’s section. She certainly seemed to be in high spirits, almost smirking at her monitor screen. I spent the whole afternoon refreshing my emails, convinced that I was going to receive something from HR. Whenever the phone rang, I’d flinch and panic, taking a deep breath before answering as I braced for the inevitable scolding that was coming my way. However, after hours passed by, no consequences seemed to be coming, and Alyssa herself didn’t appear to be making a move either: I couldn’t fathom why. Though she occasionally glanced up towards my office, to which I would pretend I was busy working, she didn’t make a peep. It made no sense to me.
Once people began to leave the office, I watched with baited breath as I waited for Alyssa to leave right on closing time. I was hopeful with delusion that maybe she hadn’t actually opened the gift yet, and I could swipe it from her desk. I waited and waited, and the office dwindled down, till I eventually realised it was just the two of us left. Even Mike had left without checking in on me, obviously rushing off to spend some time with his family.
I was still sat at my desk, peering out of my office window towards Alyssa while she clicked away at her mouse and tapped her keyboard. To the casual observer, she was just doing her job, but to me, her mere presence spoke volumes. This was Alyssa, after all, the company irritant and hair-splitter, who never, out of her own choice, stayed after hours. Yet, here she was, freely sat at her desk, ten minutes after she was supposed to have buggered off home. On top of that, she was smiling to herself, a calculating smirk settled on her lips as she idly rolled the mouse around her desk.
I thought that maybe I could wait her out, but once we rolled onto half hour over closing time, I knew this wasn’t a coincidence. Alyssa was deliberately hanging around and waiting for me to leave my office. That in itself was terrifying, because she was obviously hoping for a confrontation; she had opened the gift and figured out it was me. I knew it in my heart, and suddenly, I was terrified of stepping out there and serving myself up to be torn to shreds.
Eventually, I realised I had no choice but to make the first move, unless I was planning to pitch a tent and stay overnight. Alyssa was stubbornly camped out at her desk, and I reluctantly gathered my things and headed out. I even considered just breezing straight past her, pretending like I hadn’t noticed she was even there, and offering no attention to the brewing conflict between us. But, I knew that wasn’t really an option. If I acted ignorant, then the problem was just going to fester and get worse. I needed to be the bigger person and get in there before things escalated. Clearly, evidenced from her presence after hours, she knew what I’d done, and she was waiting to confront me.
As I stepped out of my office, I tried to muster the courage to finally face Alyssa over the mistake I’d made. In my head, I was hoping that there was some hidden part of her personality that I’d never witnessed before. A carefree, laidback girl that would maybe see the funny side in all of this. That she’d assume I was just joking around and the pair of us could giggle over my wit, maybe even bond. However, as I approached her desk, and saw her usual scowl scornfully aimed in my direction, all sense of hope abandoned me. “Umm, Alyssa,” I said, as I walked up to her; the confidence draining from me with each step. “Could we”–she raised an eyebrow and I was immediately thrown out of my stride–“ummm…could we…umm…talk about something?” I cleared my throat. “Please?”
Alyssa was quiet for a moment, simply staring at me while I squirmed before her desk. I could feel the heat inside me rising as each passing second unnerved me further. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you,” she finally said matter-of-factly. “I’ve seen you looking over all day. You’re really panicking, aren’t you?” Despite being a couple of years older than my youthful age, she was still only in her mid-twenties and her light, ebony skin was enviously smooth. For that, I was somewhat jealous, as I’d always been a little self-conscious about my freckles. I mean, I was beautiful, there was no doubting that, and my body was gorgeous, but still, I had this thing about focusing in on the little details, and my freckles had always been a gripe. I’d even suggested to Mike that he pay for laser treatment for me, but he had quickly changed the subject when I’d mentioned using the company credit card.
Alyssa’s skin was so smooth, and looked baby soft, especially amongst her sheening hair. Sometimes she’d turn up to work with her hair in a kind of wiry afro, but ever since my promotion, she’d been wearing it straightened out into braids, almost like she was trying to compete with me.
“What…what do you mean?” I said, trying to act like I didn’t know what she was talking about. I was hesitant to just come out and confess, fearing I might let slip about something of which she wasn’t actually aware; namely the fact I was fucking the boss. I had a habit of sharing too much information, and sometimes my mouth could be my own worst enemy.
She let out a breathy sigh, the same way she did whenever she was about to chastise me about one of my projects and pedantically point out some minor mistake I’d made. “Don’t play dumb, Maria. That was quite an interesting Secret Santa gift you gave me, wasn’t it?”
I immediately blushed, and collected my hands in my tummy, my feet side by side. I almost felt like I was stood outside the principal’s office and awaiting my fate. I’d known there was a possibility of this outcome, but still, I was shaken to the bone as my worst fear manifested. “Umm, I’m sorry about that,” I said tentatively, heading into damage-limitation mode and reciting one of the speeches I’d rehearsed the night before. “I know I missed the mark. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I should have read the room on that one.”
Alyssa bit her lip and nodded while watching me stutter and awkwardly shift from foot to foot. She looked me up and down as she seemed to enjoy my embarrassment. Usually, whenever she was making a scene and complaining about something I’d done, I’d wave it off and swiftly make my escape. Now, however, I couldn’t do that, because that stupid gift had changed everything. The moment she’d opened it and realised the hidden meaning behind it: I’d been put in an extremely difficult position. While squirmed beneath her judgemental glare, I felt like I was about to receive detention. “It was extremely inappropriate, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” I said, while dropping my head in shame. “That’s why I came to apologise.”
More lingering silence, before Alyssa eventually tutted and said, “Well, go on then. Get on with it.” There was a lethargy to her tone, as if she was considerably bothered by my whole existence.
“I’m sorry, Alyssa.” I waited for her to say something, but when she continued to remain silent, I peeked up and added in a squeaky voice, “I’m sorry for buying that inappropriate gift for you. I thought it would be funny, but I guess not.”
“Great.” Her expression was void of all emotion, othering no inkling to what she was thinking. “Will that be all?”
I looked up in surprise. That couldn’t be the end of it, surely? I mean, this was Alyssa we were talking about. She’d never miss an opportunity to make my life just a little bit more difficult. Would she really have been willing to just forget about all of this? Part of me just wanted to step away and hope for the best. Now that I’d apologised, maybe that really was the end of it. However, the other part of me needed confirmation. Even though I was risking making things worse, I couldn’t face the idea of heading home knowing my fate was still hanging in the balance. Alyssa was just the sort to say everything was fine to my face, before firing off a catty email behind my back. “Is it cool, if, we kind of, you know, not tell anyone else about this?” I couldn’t even bear looking her in the eye as I nervously asked that question. “I’m kind of embarrassed.”
In response, Alyssa gifted me back a prolonged, uncomfortable silence; even worse than all of the ones that had come before. The longer I awaited some words from her, the more apprehensive I became. My back was already sweating while my legs were shaky. Eventually, unable to bear the tension anymore, I peeped up, and was mortified to see that Alyssa was sat with her arms folded, chewing her lip while smirking. “Well, as much as I’m enjoying seeing you squirm,” she said, while standing from her seat and grabbing her handbag. “I really have somewhere else I need to be.”
“Could you…errr…spare me a few minutes?” I asked in desperation. Now knowing that Alyssa had considered the full implications of my gift, I needed some kind of resolution to the dilemma. I couldn’t bear the thought of having to suffer through the trepidation all night. I mean, I’d be laying in bed awake, convinced that Alyssa was at home, composing an email to HR and ready to destroy my career before it had hardly begun. We both knew it was inapprapropriate that I had sent it to her, and there’s no way that the human resources department would look on my actions favourably, especially with the bloody card I’d included!
Alyssa smirked so subtly that it was barely visible. She seemed amused by my fidgeting, whereas I was extremely edgy. Her eyes were so white and bright against her dark skin. I never liked being around her at work on the regular, mainly because she was always such a drag. Once she’d gotten hold of my phone number, she’d been haranguing me endlessly in attempts to bother Mike with trivial issues. You know, the kind of thing that really wasn’t that important. What colour something should be, whether a particular paragraph was suitable? Who honestly cared? It was stuff that didn’t really matter, but she always made a big deal out of it, acting like the client actually gave a shit about stuff like that. On top of that, everyone had to be careful when speaking to her, just in case you let her in on a bit of information that she might later use against you. She was like an archivist when it came to office dirt, and she was more than willing to wield it in her favour.
One example was where I had asked for leave to attend my grandmother’s funeral. Now, technically, on paper, she hadn’t been my grandmother, but she was the mother of my step-mother, so, by all accounts, as far as I was concerned: she was my grandmother. I mean, I’d hardly known the woman when she’d been alive, since I barely spoke to my father, but still, I hadn’t been about to miss an opportunity for some extra time off work. Though, according to the law and all that, as she had been the mother of my father’s new wife, well, we hadn’t actually been related. Anyway, my leave request had been approved by Mike on account of the passing of a close family relation. Truth be told, he’d barely given it a glimpse before signing it off.
Upon my return the day after the funeral, Alyssa had queried how the funeral service went, and I had explained how it was an emotional and solemn affair. As I had sniffled and poured my heart out, she’d nodded along and seemed concerned. However, her face had suddenly shifted as I’d casually mentioned that even though my grandmother had been my step-family, she’d always felt like a blood relation.
Alyssa hadn’t said anything at the time, but I’d noted a change in her expression. That afternoon, I’d been called into Mike’s office to clear things up. Of course, he had waved it off, because why wouldn’t he? If anything, he had seemed annoyed that he had to talk to me about it, but I’d been on my guard around Alyssa ever since. She was a rotten snitch and couldn’t be trusted at all.
“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” she said, speaking as if she were the supervisor. “Maybe we can have a meeting about it? Get some of the higher-ups in especially. I’m sure the whole office would be interested in what you deemed a suitable Christmas gift for a colleague. You know there’s a list we’re supposed to stick to, right? It seemed everyone else managed to do so, apart from you.”
“No,” I said while reaching out towards her. “Please, I’d really like to get this sorted out between us. Right now, if possible.”
“I’m sure you would.” She took a step towards the door. “But I have other, more important matters to deal with.” She looked me up and down with an air of disgust. “So, you’ll just have to wait until I have time to deal with your inappropriate gift and”–she screwed her face up in disdain–“especially that vulgar message you wrote with it.”
I swallowed, and felt a wave of shame wash over me as I imagined Alyssa reading that racy card I’d enclosed. My lips trembled as I muttered, “Alyssa, please–”
“Tomorrow,” she said in a forceful voice, causing me to flinch in surprise and bite my tongue. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow, when I have time for you.”
As she sauntered out of the office, I realised that she was now the one firmly in control and I was perilously on the verge of being unemployed. I was going to have to grovel, to Alyssa of all people, and my life couldn’t have been any worse.
Mike called me later that evening to joke about whether Alyssa had used any of the vouchers yet. He was just messing around and poking fun at me, but I found my throat was becoming dry as I thought about Alyssa actually using any of those vouchers. The sorts of things they could be redeemed for, well, it was a most disturbing nightmare to picture Alyssa as the claimant. I thought about coming clean to him, wondering if maybe if he could use his position to keep her quiet, but he was already whispering his goodbyes while mentioning that his wife was home. “That’s great, talk to you tomorrow, Babe,” he said, before hanging up the phone.
Meanwhile, I was left alone in my apartment, knowing things were pretty far from great. Once my mother returned home from work, I thought about telling her too, but I was just too embarrassed. She had no idea that I’d been sleeping with Mike, and I could only imagine she’d be furious after the way my father had left her for another woman. It wouldn’t matter to her that I had climbed the corporate ladder at rapid pace, and that I was the one now paying the majority of the rent every month.
As expected, I didn’t sleep a wink that night. Every time I felt like I was drifting off, I’d imagine Alyssa and the way she had smirked while watching me stutter and squirm. She seemed to be revelling in having me caught in a sticky situation. We’d come to a head so much since I’d been given the promotion instead of her. Sometimes, as I was leaving Mike’s office, I’d catch her scowling over at me with resentment. Of course, she was a complete two-faced bitch, so when we spoke, she’d always pretend that she wasn’t jealous of me. However, the envy was clear in the way she’d narrow her eyes and scrunch up her cheeks whenever my name was mentioned, or how she’d make some pathetic snide remark regarding my work.
All kinds of daunting scenarios were floating around my head, as I considered the many ways that Alyssa may choose to respond. Perhaps she really would forget about it, but deep inside me, I knew her nature. There was no way she wasn’t going to capitalise on my mistake. That’s what she always did whenever I messed up in some way. She’d draw attention to it. She’d make sure that the rest of the team, and especially Mike, was aware of my mishap and how she’d swooped in to the save the day.
When I arrived at work the next day, exhausted and in dire need of sleep, I realised I was in for it as soon as I passed Alyssa’s desk. Why? Because for the first time in a while, she’d didn’t scowl. She didn’t look at me with resentment. Instead, she smiled, waved and wished me a good morning. To everyone else at their desks, it seemed like a friendly gesture, but to me, it was terrifying. It completely broke down what was remaining of my composure, and as I slinked into my office, I could barely keep my thoughts straight. Why the hell was Alyssa so happy to see me? Was it because she finally had something on me? She finally had some dirt that she was going to use to ruin and oust me from the company. Maybe while I’d spent all night worrying, she’d been more productive with the time, plotting and scheming how she was going to play this.
As with the day before, I could barely concentrate on my work, and instead, I spent the whole day thinking up ways that I could try and appeal to Alyssa. All sorts of thoughts entered my head, with various ideas that would allow me to climb out of the hole I’d fallen into.
When Mike stopped in after lunch, and asked me to join him in his office for a bit of extra-curricular activity, I simply brushed him off, stating I was too busy. He looked mildly annoyed, before telling me to suit myself and disappearing back out of sight. Instead, I kept refreshing my email, convinced that I was going to get a message either from Alyssa, or from someone higher up in the company, calling me into a meeting regarding my Secret Santa gift. However, even though I spent the whole day practically pulling my hair out, not a peep came in my direction. It was like she was just leaving me to stew in my own soup.
As we neared closing time, I finally popped my head out. Most of my colleagues had already left, and my stomach was grumbling considering I hadn’t even left for lunch. I was just too scared that Alyssa might say something in front of everyone else, fearful that she’d hold my gift aloft and get everyone’s opinions on who it was actually meant for.
Just like the day before, Alyssa was still sat at her desk when I cautiously headed over towards her. She offered me the same smarmy smile when she saw me approaching. “Hello, Maria,” she said. “Why are you looking so scared all of sudden?”
“I’m not,” I said in a shaky voice. “Are you, umm, free to talk?”
“Possibly.” She leant back in her chair. “What would you like to talk about?”
“Well, you know…”
“Actually, I don’t know.” She cocked her head and smirked at me. “Why don’t you clear up the confusion for me?”
“Okay. I know there may have been a misunderstanding about the gift you received from me.” While stood at her desk, I now felt like I was walking on egg shells, so things were even worse than usual. I hated ever having to work directly with Alyssa, and now I was being forced to interact with her face to face.
“Yes, it was certainly inappropriate,” she said, while swaying in her chair. “I’d say it’s definitely crossing the bounds of misogyny and sexual harassment, wouldn’t you?”
I was already shaking from the terms she was throwing at me, but still, she hadn’t mentioned the card again, or the fact that she knew the gift was actually for our boss. In that regard, I felt like just going along with whatever she was threatening was the best course of action, rather than drawing attention to the real problem amongst all of this. If she just complained about the gift being inappropriate, well, I could take that on the chin as I was sure that Mike would sweep things under the carpet. But, if I was pitted against Mike as our affair was revealed, well, that made me a lot more nervous. Just as I viewed him as a bit of fun, he probably saw me as the same, and if I was up against his family: which was he obviously going to choose?
My job was the main concern, as I was helping my mother pay the rent and honestly, I literally wasn’t qualified to do anything else. I wasn’t even qualified for the job I was currently doing. I didn’t particularly care if I had to end things with Mike, but the job was something I simply couldn’t lose. There was no way in hell I’d be able to bag another role with a similar salary and benefits, and I’d worked bloody damn hard on Mike to ensure I got that promotion. I couldn’t be expected to start from scratch at another company. I mean, imagine being a receptionist again and having to work my way up the ladder.
“Are you wondering whether I’ve reported you already? Is that why you’re over here bothering me when we should both be heading home?” She looked at me in disbelief. “I thought you would have already been out the door by now, you know, especially since you hate having to actually do any work.”
“I just thought–”
“You must really be worried, huh?” she asked, and the same smirk as the day before returned. “You scared I’m going to tell someone about your naughty little gift?” She cocked her head, before rolling her eyes. “Or, are you more frightened that I might ask some questions?”
I gulped, my eyes flickering as I struggled to understand what she was suggesting. Was she making a threat? “What…what do you mean?”
“Well, who the gift was really meant for, for a start? I mean, you couldn’t have possibly bought this for me, right? Despite being feeble-minded, even you’re not that dense to think I’d find this amusing.”
I glanced up and caught her eye for a second. She was looking straight at me, with her hands clutching the armrests of her swivel chair. There was no hint of her thoughts on her expression, or any inkling of her being uncomfortable due to her posture. If anything, with the way she was swishing from side to side in the wheeled, desk chair, she seemed nothing short of relaxed. As if my fate was all fun and games. “I’m sorry about everything,” I said apologetically, dropping my head back down in shame and pretending like I hadn’t heard the second question. “It was supposed to be funny, but I understand I made a mistake.”
“Funny for who?” she snapped. “Mike?”
An electric spark shot straight down my spine, and as a result, my head snapped up in a panic. “Uh, Mike?” I licked my lips, then let out a fake chuckle. “Why do you say that? What does this have to do with Mike?”
“I mean, I was a bit surprised, thinking, like, why are you giving me this stuff? I’ve had my suspicions about the two of you, you know, why he gave you that job in the first place, and in particular, why he overlooks all of your faults. So, I started wondering what you were trying to achieve this with this gift? Do you actually have a guilty conscience and this is your way of confessing? Did you want to be caught in the act?” She smirked slightly. “But then I had a quiet word with Jennifer about who drew who, and it made total sense considering a ditz like you. You thought you were Mike’s Secret Santa, right?” She rolled her eyes. “That’ll teach you for skimming instead of reading. I have had words with you about that before, right? How inept you are at your job? You can’t even handle something as basic as reading comprehension and yet you’re supervisor.”
This is the moment where I’d usually get into a verbal spat with her. Ever since I’d been in the supervisor role, she’d gone out of her way to nit-pick everything I’d done. There’d been a number of occasions in the past when I’d let a spelling error or grammatical mistake slip through after proofreading one of our press releases. Usually, Mike would catch it, and nothing more would come of it. However, if Alyssa happened to see it first, well, I’d get a stern, patronising talking to, and then she usually ratted me out to Mike anyway. Even though I was technically her supervisor, it was difficult to defend myself as often the mistakes were legit. I mean, this was all pretty new to me, and it wasn’t as if I had a degree like her, so it was rather unfair that she was having a go at me all the time. Of course, Mike would brush it under the carpet because of…well, you know, but she wasn’t aware of that. In terms of seniority, I was slightly above her due to my promotion, but as Alyssa had a master’s degree in English Language, whenever one of the actual editors was on leave, she’d fill in for some of those duties. Of course, during those periods the office became unbearable, and she’d march around as if she was actually important.
“It wasn’t for Mike.” I nodded my head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Even as I stared at her, trying to keep my composure, I could sense the life draining from my eyes.
She cocked her head and eyed me. “It totally makes sense why Mike has kept you around for so long now, despite you being entirely incompetent at your job.” She craned her neck out towards me. “Been doing a lot of overtime beneath his desk, have you, Maria?”
I could actually feel the pulse throbbing in my neck as she attacked me. “This wasn’t meant for Mike,” I said, this time with more determination.
“Really?”
“Of course, it wasn’t.” I licked my lips, while rolling eyes. “He’s a married man, and like thirty years too old for me. Don’t be so silly.” I dipped my head, and almost looked at her accusingly. “I bought it as a joke. Sorry that you don’t have a sense of humour.”
Alyssa was scratching her chin while considering me. “Right…” She raised her palm in expectation. “Well, if not Mike, then who? Who else, Maria? There’s literally no other guys in the company.” She narrowed her eyes. “So, either, this was for Mike, and you’re a dirty little homewrecker, or it actually was for me, and…well…I don’t know what you are.” She leant forward and opened her desk drawer, before taking out the booklet and almost scowling at it. “Why the hell would you give this to me?” She leant over and opened it up, before flicking the pages with her fingers. “Some of this stuff belongs in an adult bookstore, Maria.”
“It was a joke,” I said again with a frustrated sigh. “A gag gift that obviously you didn’t find funny. I’m sorry about that.” I fell into another fake, awkward chuckle. “You know how everything has been so serious between us? I thought this was a good way to lighten the mood.” I shrugged. “You know, something we could laugh over, maybe even bond with. Improve the working atmosphere and all that.” I almost smiled to myself as I wriggled my way out of the awkward position I’d put myself in and an embarked on an expert demonstration of gaslighting mastery. I wanted to slap myself on the back with applause, I mean, playing this off like it was a team-building exercise and for the good of the office environment. Total genius! Acting like she was the one in the wrong? Brilliant! “Sorry for putting some effort into trying to resolve things between us.”
“Right…” Alyssa said again, completely void of emotion while she continued to flick through the vouchers. She seemed completely uninterested in what I was saying, and didn’t appear to be absorbing the excuses I was trying to feed her. She stopped on one particular voucher, before turning the booklet to face me with a raised eyebrow. “So, you’re saying, I can use this to improve our working relationship, right? That’s the reason you bought this for me? So we can”–she narrowed her eyes and chewed the corner of her mouth–“bond?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly…” My voice trailed off as I read the voucher she was holding. Written in bold letters across the paper was the declaration that it could be redeemed for a foot massage. I curled my lip in disgust while imagining having to give Alyssa, of all people, a bloody disgusting foot massage. I hadn’t even read through the entire booklet myself, and I was sure if Mike had ever chosen to use that one, I would have turned it around so it was him massaging my feet. But the mere thought of rubbing Alyssa’s feet, the ever-annoying, Alyssa. My stomach was turning in revulsion and I felt mildly wheezy. This was taken a turn I wasn’t at all comfortable with.
Alyssa cocked her head at my hesitance. “I mean, that’s what these things are for, right?” She turned her chair to the side and stretched her feet out along the floor; still encased in those grotty old flats. “I can use them to get favours from you? That’s the whole point of this stupid gift, or am I misunderstanding your intention?”
I swallowed nervously. The thought of Alyssa actually considering using the vouchers herself wasn’t one of the scenarios that had even entered my head initially, and now, suddenly, I was becoming painfully aware of the perilous predicament I was now in. What had begun as a simple joke that Mike had teased me with, was now close to becoming a reality. If I had a choice between Alyssa alerting HR, or actually getting to use the vouchers herself; I didn’t know what was the worse option. I needed this job, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my mother struggling to pay rent again on her own. It wasn’t as if I’d walk into a similar position immediately. I was ridiculously unqualified, and I’d put a lot effort into my tangling with Mike in order to earn that promotion. My lips quivered as I tried to think of the right thing to say.
Alyssa narrowed her eyes while sensing my nervousness. “These are for me, right? That’s what you just spent the last five minutes trying to convince me about. Because if so, that means you wanted me to actually use them. Gag gift or not, correct?” She turned the paper in her hand and squinted at it. “You want to give me a foot massage? Because I have to be honest, that sounds pretty damn good right about now.”
I gulped a huge lump in my throat. “Well, I, umm, just thought it would be, uh, funny and that. I didn’t think you’d actually want to…errr…use them. You know how you are–”
“How am I?” she asked with curiosity.
“Well, uh, you do things by the book and that. You stick to the rules.”
Alyssa blinked, before she settled back in her chair while resting her chin on one upturned hand. She looked at me inquisitively, her eyebrows furrowed in perplexing wonder. “That’s what I find so curious about this whole thing.” She began swaying back and forth in her swivel chair; her now crossed legs shimmying from side to side. “You know how I am,” she mused. “You said it yourself. You know that I’ll find this inappropriate, and you know that I’m not happy about you being supervisor here. You’ve basically handed me the ammunition to have you fired, and I can’t at all understand why.” She lifted her other hand and waved it around. “This whole ‘gag gift’ thing just doesn’t fly with me. If we were actually friends, I’d kind of get it, but we don’t even get along, Maria, so this doesn’t add up.” She let out a deep breath, before turning back towards her monitor and dropping the booklet on the desk. “It’s obvious to me this gift was meant for Mike, and you two are having an affair. You probably thought this was a way to earn yourself another promotion.” She glanced up at me. “What the two of you do in your private time is really none of my business, even if I do disagree with it.” I flinched as I thought I may be off the hook, but then Alyssa flicked the booklet with the back of her fingers. “Too bad you’ve involved me in it now though, so, I’m going to be including my suspicions when I contact HR. I’m sure you’ll be fired by the morning at the latest. The upper management really don’t take well to romantic fraternising between managers and subordinates.” She shrugged. “They’ll probably get rid of Mike too, especially after I detail how terrible at your job you actually are.”
“What, no,” I said in a rapid, freaked voice. “Don’t contact HR. It wasn’t meant for Mike at all. Alyssa, please, this gift was meant for you, I swear.” She didn’t even bother saying anything, instead, she just rolled her eyes and began typing out an email to HR. Feeling backed into a corner, I panicked even further, and began desperately spluttering in an attempt to save myself from an obvious firing. “You can use that voucher, if you want,” I said. Immediately, I grimaced while regretting my words, before I tried to lighten the implication. “You know, to improve our working relationship, just like I…umm…intended.” My lips were contorting in disgust as I thought about having to actually touch Alyssa’s feet, but at that moment, I felt like I had no other choice.
“Well, that would be a lovely offer from anyone else, but you don’t really like me though, right?”
I baulked at her asking me that, because the answer was obvious. “Well, I, umm…”
“You can say the truth,” she said with a shrug. “Because I certainly don’t like you, Maria. We may as well get it all out there, now that you’ve crossed the line with this ridiculous gift. I was trying to get rid of you through the professional avenues, but”–she lifted the booklet and flapped it around–“you’ve gone and made this all so much easier for me. You’ve basically walked the plank with giving me this? I have the chance to finally get rid of you now, and you think a foot massage is going to save you? Tell me the truth for once in your life. Do you like me?”
“I…I don’t know what to say.” I was terrified that if I actually told the truth, she’d tell HR immediately. Almost as if she was goading me into burying myself.
“I hate liars. You know that more than anyone. So, try telling the truth. Tell me what you think of me and maybe being honest for once in your life will buy you some points.”
“I…” My voice was shaking as she looked at me expectantly. “I…it’s kind of mutual, I guess? I don’t like you as much as you don’t like me.”
Alyssa bit her lip and nodded. “I suppose that’s as good an answer as I could have hoped for from someone like you.” She cocked her head. “I know you well enough, Maria. I’ve seen the way you look at me whenever I point out that you’ve fucked up again.”
“I’m just trying to tell the truth.”
“Let’s stick with that then. You hate me, right? You hate when I’m right, and I raise attention to you being wrong.”
I recoiled at that, unsure if it was a trick question. “Well, I…should I still be honest?”
This time she didn’t say anything, instead quietly nodding her head.
“Then, yes, I don’t really like you. I wouldn’t say I hate you. But, it’s obvious we’ll never be friends, right? You’ve always made life difficult for me at work.”
“I know, and it should be. I have high standards, and you’ll always struggle to meet them because of your natural inability to actually be good at anything. The truth is: you’re just not actually any good at your job, are you?”
I dropped my head as a retort was on the tip of my tongue. It was so difficult to just stand there and take a verbal tongue-lashing from the office pedant. I mean, no, I wasn’t the shining example of a model employee, but I certainly wasn’t scraping at the bottom of the barrel. I was average at my job, just like most people, and any small errors I did make would probably have gone unseen if Alyssa wasn’t out to constantly make me look bad. Instead, I shrugged. “No, I guess not.”
“That’s putting it lightly. Since we’re being honest, let’s rack it up, shall we?” She starting counting on her fingers. “You cut corners. You slack off. You regularly put in poor performances. You make nonsensical errors. You turn up late. You call off sick way too often and use bullshit excuses. You lie about outside engagements. You…”–her forehead wrinkled as she became lost in thought–“…I’m sure I’m missing something.” She dipped her head and watched me closely. “Is there anything you want to add? Because I don’t think I’ve recalled every way that you’re a failure just yet.”
“No,” I said, while kicking my feet against the floor. It was so frustrating and infuriating to have to swallow down the urge to tell her to go to hell. However, the email was still open right on her screen, almost tauntingly keeping me in line. “I think you covered everything,” I added sheepishly. I mean, most of what she was saying was true, even I knew that, but it hurt to hear it said out loud.
“Hardly,” she sneered. “This all just off the top of my head.” She placed a hand against her chest. “You see, unlike you, I pride myself on my work ethic, and yes, some people like to snipe behind my back and say I’m a jobsworth, but I don’t care. If you can’t do a job properly, then you shouldn’t do it at all as far as I’m concerned. I’ve been pulling my hair out for months over why Mike hasn’t gotten shot of you. You’re probably the ineptest employee we’ve ever had and you never should have made it beyond the probationary period. You’re so ineffectual, that your presence as an extra body actually give us more work, rather than less. I’ve basically compiled a whole dossier of your incompetence by this point, and he still won’t act and get rid of you. He wouldn’t even put you through a formal disciplinary after that whole Bennett-Mayhew incident. I mean, what’s up with that?”
I blushed at the recollection of that embarrassing debacle. Bennett-Mayhew were a local modelling agency we’d been acting for to expand their presence in the city. To try and kickstart this venture, we’d arranged a launch party for them to gather together some of the local talent that were looking for new representation. At the conclusion of the networking drinks, we’d arranged for a cake cutting as a photo opportunity, which would appear in the local paper. We’d even roped in a local celebrity to do the deed.
The owner had been completely on board, but had outlined one stipulation: his daughter had an allergy to peanuts, and it was of great importance that the cake had to be completely nut-free.
Well, I hadn’t paid attention to any of that and just bought one off the shelf from the local supermarket. Mike had given me a budget of a hundred for a bespoke baked good, but I had managed to get the cake for twenty and just pocketed the rest, and I’d thought that was pretty slick. It turned out that the cake had some kind of nutty spread in it though, and anyway, the girl had gotten sick after eating too much and a huge drama followed. The photographer had even snapped a photo of her throwing up right in the celebrity’s lap. I mean, it had been completely blown out of proportion. There hadn’t even been any evidence that the nuts had been responsible. As far as I was concerned, she’d vomited because she had eaten too much, you know, like kids usually did?
When I’d been getting chewed out later, I’d sworn that I’d known nothing of the stipulation and had misread the email. However, Alyssa had been quick to dig up the relevant email outlining the exact allergy, along with my reply confirming acknowledgement. The evidence had been indisputable, but after a heart to heart with Mike, and a swift blowjob, everything had gone away. After I had left his office that day, I’d noticed the fury on Alyssa’s face while sat at her desk. She had even raised her hand in the air, seemingly aghast that I’d gotten off without any punishment.
Alyssa blinked at me as I now stood simmering before her desk. “You almost killed a client’s kid, and you just moonwalked your way out of it like nothing happened.” She let out a deep, frustrated sigh. “You know how infuriating it is to see women like you get away with stuff just because of how you look? You’re a disgrace to us all.”
“That’s not how I’d describe–”
“It’s unforgiveable.” She crossed her arms defiantly. “I don’t know which of you is worse. You for being so useless, or him for tolerating it. Even enabling it!”
“Well…I…”
“Just be quiet,” she said with a groan. “I’m done listening to your excuses. From now on, you’re going to be the one listening to me, the way you always should have been. Do you understand?”
There was a nervous itch in my throat, and I coughed while trying to clear it. “Umm, I understand, Alyssa.” I was about to say something about me actually being the supervisor, but I didn’t really have anything to back that up with. The way she was speaking to me, I felt completely irrelevant and incapable of supervising anything.
“Good.” She remained swivelling in the chair, rotating from side to side while she chewed her lip. Meanwhile, I just stood in place, completely terrified by the precarious situation I was in. Alyssa pretty much had my fate in her hands, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she made the decision to just go ahead and ruin my career, and reputation.
I was about to say something, to mumble some pathetic attempt to save myself, however, before I could, Alyssa let out a loud gasp and uncrossed her arms. She turned in the seat and reached over to her desk, before scooping the booklet of vouchers back up. While I remained standing there, and watching with worry, she began fingering her way through the pages before pausing on one. “Well, there’s some really interesting stuff in here,” she said, before looking up at me slightly annoyed. “I assume I’m fair game to use any of these? Even the vulgar ones?”
“Well, it wasn’t really meant for–”
“What are you saying, Maria?” She pounced and held the booklet up. “Are you saying this thing wasn’t meant for me? Because if that’s the case, well, who was it for then?” She flapped her hand at me. “We can keep going around in circles, if you want? You can either admit who it was really for, or I’ll just get on and start using these things. Which would you prefer?” She shrugged. “Unless you want me to send the email and just be done with you already?”
“Ummm…” I had to swallow down a mouthful of saliva as my nerves were shaking more by the second. I wasn’t sure what the right course of direction was. Should I admit the truth, that the booklet was for our boss, Mike? I mean, she’d admitted that she had the card, but hadn’t yet referenced anything in it. Was there a slim chance she hadn’t read it yet, and she was actually close to believing that I’d bought the booklet for her? The other likely reason was that she was toying with me, forcing me to say that the booklet was for her, as the alternative was admitting it was for Mike. My teeth were chattering as I teetered on the edge of what was the right thing to say, but I knew I had to say it was for her. The whole affair thing just made everything ten times worse and I’d be labelled as the office whore. We lived in a small town with little opportunity and word would surely spread. “Ummm, it’s for you, yes,” I said, while averting my eyes in shame. “I bought that for you.”
She nibbled her plump lip again. “That’s what I thought. So, you wanted me to have these vouchers, didn’t you? That’s what this all boils down to.”
“Umm, yes, yes, I did.” I closed my eyes in an extended blink; already taunting myself with where this was going to lead. That booklet, though it was racy and fun when I had Mike in mind, was a fucking nightmare when wielded by someone like Alyssa. Mike’s teasing of me about only having to fetch her coffees would have been the dream scenario at this point.
“Well, that’s quite odd, isn’t it? I thought we didn’t get along. You just said so yourself.”
I was about ready to lose my cool with the way she was playing games, but I thought for a moment, before lying, “I thought this would be a good way for us to improve our relationship.” It was so difficult to remain diplomatic when so much was at stake.
Alyssa pursed her lips, and flicked back to the earlier page in the booklet. “This voucher can be redeemed for a free foot massage.” Her breasts heaved as she let out a violent chuckle, before she crossed her legs, dangling her flat from one foot. “Well, that’s nice of you, isn’t it?”
I momentarily caught sight of her dangling shoe, before grimacing and looking away. “Yeah, if you say so.”
She tauntingly waved the book at me; flapping the pages in the air. “What if I want to redeem that one right now. That’s cool, yeah?” She stopped shaking the book and squinted at it. “Can I use these at any time?”
“Ummm, I don’t know, I didn’t really think it through like that.” I was too busy trying to put the thought of massaging Alyssa’s feet out of my head; the mere idea of touching her gross feet with my hands was making me almost puke. That sort of thing couldn’t actually happen, could it? The possibility of putting my hands all over her disgusting, sweaty feet was almost inducing an existential crisis where I felt trapped in my own body and in dire need of escape.
She cocked her head. “You probably should have thought it through a bit more, shouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, I probably should have,” I said in defeat. “We can just forget this ever happened, if you want?” I said with hope. “I can get you a different gift?”
She snorted, and looked obscenely amused, before she settled back in the chair and continued to dangle her flat. “Oh, no, it’s just fine. I’m more than happy with the gift you’ve given me.”
“Well, umm, that’s great.” I looked towards the door. “Like you said, it’s late, I should really be going.”
Alyssa tutted, before she looked off to the side. “Of course, HR wouldn’t be happy, but they don’t know…yet. So, you’re not going anywhere, Maria. What if I want to use this foot massage voucher right now? What if I want to use one of the dirtier ones? It’s your job to fulfil the wish, right?”
I glanced at the booklet, and trembled in disgust while thinking of all the ‘favours’ that were contained within. So many of them were sexual in nature, and I couldn’t bear the thought of having to commit such intimate acts with another woman, especially with one as insufferable as Alyssa. “I should be going,” I said again, while taking a step from her desk.
“Are you seriously welching on this?” she asked in surprise. “Because, you know, if I can’t use this gift, well, why the hell aren’t I already sending an email to HR? I’ll even copy Mike in and fill him in on how I know what’s going on between the pair of you.”
I froze, and turned hesitantly, before asking, “So, you’re blackmailing me then?” My stomach sank as I considered how trapped I was. The only defence seemed to be to try and play her at her own game. “That doesn’t really sit well with your moral code, does it? You know that blackmail is illegal?”
“Are you accusing me of hypocrisy?”
I blinked, trying to fight the urge to confirm her suspicion. I was absolutely accusing her of that, because that’s exactly what she was being: an intolerable hypocrite. But, I wasn’t about to say that to her face when she had me dangling from a hook. “No,” I said in a most cowardly voice. “Not at all, Alyssa.”
“Good, because I certainly wouldn’t appreciate that, when I’m the one that’s trying to maintain any shred of decency around here. I’m not scampering around after hours and philandering with the boss, am I?”
My throat felt like it was shrinking in diameter, making it difficult to both swallow and breathe. “No, no you’re not.” I looked away. “And neither am I?”
“Yeah, right.”
There was a growing heat, right in the middle of my chest, almost like I was combusting from within. The more she castigated me, brutally insulting and tearing me to shreds, the more humiliated and mortified I was feeling. The worst part was that I would have already run away from this sort of confrontation in the past. However, I was stuck, because I knew if I didn’t find a way to pacify her, then she was going to implode my life. Unless I talked her out of it, there was no way in hell that Alyssa wasn’t going to act on the information she was now in possession of. It was simply not in her nature to let such a thing lie. My entire posture sagged as I knew I had no other way out. “What do I need to do?”
Alyssa couldn’t help but smirk as she realised I was wilting. She raised a hand casually. “I guess you’ll do whatever the voucher says?” She dragged her fingertip along the edge of the page, before gripping it. “Whichever I decide to use, you’ll make happen, right? Because I’m about to rip this one out and collect.”
My stomach dropped at the mere suggestion of Alyssa actually using that voucher. Up to this point, I figured she’d just been teasing me and was going to prolong my agony, keeping me sweating until the inevitable moment that she put me out of my misery with an email to HR. However, was she considering actually using the vouchers? In that case, she was a bloody hypocrite and not as noble as she pretended to be. I hadn’t looked at every one of them but I’d had a quick flick through, and though they were exciting when considering a hunk as the recipient, it was mortifying to consider Alyssa as the beneficiary. I almost yacked right there in the office. So many of the vouchers involved kissing and licking stuff, a completely unimaginable act of intimacy with someone like Alyssa.
I licked my lips worriedly, before carefully considering my words. “You’re not just teasing me? You actually want to use them?” I said, my voice suddenly becoming shaky. “I thought you said they were inappropriate.” I was still holding on to the hope that this was all a joke and Alyssa was just trying to make me feel uncomfortable.
“They’re absolutely inappropriate, Maria. We both know that.” She shrugged her shoulders. “But you’re the one that put yourself in this position, so it’s entirely up to me how I choose to proceed from here, isn’t it?”
I swallowed nervously. “If I agree to let you use a voucher…you’re not…you’re not going to tell HR?” I dropped my eyes and felt pathetically fragile. “Please don’t get me fired over this.”
I heard the faintest of giggles from her. “I’m still considering that.” A palm was placed flat against her breasts. “I mean, that’s definitely the correct course of action in this situation, and, the office would surely improve without you around here.” She cocked her head and squinted at me. “Do you think I should tell HR? Because if you think you deserve to keep your job, well, you’re going to have to give me a good reason to keep you around.”
“No,” I said with way too much haste, before I then tried to compose myself and added, “No, please, I don’t think you should tell HR. I’ll improve my attitude, I swear. I’ll work harder and be more respectful.”
There was snort, followed by another giggle. “You know, this is the kind of thing an employee says when being scolded by the boss. You’re supposed to be the one in the senior role, Maria, even if you don’t deserve it. Don’t you find this embarrassing?” I noticed a little smirk creep onto Alyssa’s lips, before she quickly hid it. “What do you think HR will do?”
“I’m not sure.” I let out a sigh. “Probably fire me, for sure.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “Yes, they’d probably fire you. At the very least, I think you’d be demoted.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Maybe I’d even get promoted over you, like I should have been in the first place.”
I stayed quiet, not wanting to say anything that could be construed as agreeing with her.
“Yeah, I’m thinking I probably should just tell them. I’d really like to be the supervisor around here.”
My head shot up and I instinctively lurched my arms out towards her. “No, please, don’t tell them.” When I noticed her face recoil, I lowered my voice. “Please, I really need the money. I can’t make rent–”
The little smirk appeared again and silenced me as I was pouring out my fears, demonstrating how much damage Alyssa would do me by going to HR. It may have even been inadvisable to let her in on my vulnerability, but I was becoming desperate as she continued to tease me. “Sounds like must really want to keep this between us, I guess?” Her eyes seemed to be gleaming and she continually made me sweat. “You have a lot to lose, huh?”
“Yes,” I said, while eyeing the booklet. “I would prefer to keep this between us.”
Alyssa turned and fully faced me. “Well, it’s not really blackmail then, is it? Especially if that’s what you’d prefer. And since that’s what you mean, I’ll be nice and willing to do that for you. I guess, I mean, since that’s what you want and all. I’m willing to keep your little secret.” She nodded her head slightly. I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, before she continued, “You know, if it’s worth my while and all.”
I rolled my eyes up at her bashfully. “What would make it worth your while?” My lips were trembling as all manner of consequences were spiralling around inside my head.
Alyssa pursed her lips, before rolling her eyes off to the side while shrugging. “Well, I guess getting to use these vouchers, for a start. That seems only fair, doesn’t it? I mean, if I’m not reporting you for them, I may as well use them, right? And you, well, I expect you to put a lot of effort into fulfilling them since you want us to ‘bond’ so much.”
My eyes were lingering on the booklet as it was squashed up against her breast while her arms were crossed. Already, my thoughts were cycling through the many seedy and racy vouchers that were within the pile. Surely, she wouldn’t pick any of those because that would be extremely odd. I figured that she was just going to punish me, make me do some of the lighter ones I’d noticed like cleaning and, heaven forbid, that rancid foot massage one. “I guess,” I said hesitantly. No doubt, after threats earlier, any report to HR would be laced with accusations regarding my relationship with Mike. The last thing I wanted was any attention brought to that. Mike had done a lot for me, but he seemed to have no intention of leaving his wife or kids, and it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d throw me under the bus at the first opportunity. He was in the position of power after all. Well, he was previously, now that position was occupied by my sworn enemy.
Alyssa smirked, before she uncrossed her arms, then flicked quickly through the booklet. She widened her eyes at a few of the vouchers, before she giggled while stopping on one. She turned the paper to face me and it was the same bloody one as before! “I’m still thinking this one,” she said with a shrug. “It’s been a long day, you know?” I flinched as she ripped the ticket from the booklet and then tossed it onto her desk. “Plus, this is going to be so funny.”
I gulped while reading the words facing up at me. Even though I knew what the ticket said, it was like seeing it there on the table was finally hitting home with what it meant. “This voucher can be redeemed for one foot massage,” I whispered as I read it out. My eyes flickered back and forth along the words as my mind processed what I was seeing. It had felt like a completely abstract concept, until I glanced down at Alyssa’s old flats and actually considered doing it. “I have…I have to massage your feet?”
Alyssa couldn’t help but grin smugly. Both of her eyebrows lifted, and then she eagerly nodded her head. “According to this, you owe me a foot massage.” I noticed in my peripheral view that she’d lifted one foot from the floor, and was casually dangling her flat from her toes; just allowing a glimpse of her creamy sole. “Like I said, I’ve had a long day, and a foot massage would really hit the spot”–she cocked her head while staring at me–“especially one from you, Maria. It’s the perfect way to showing me more respect, just like you said you wanted to. You know, the respect I so clearly deserve for rectifying your incompetence so often.”
I already felt my face becoming warm with embarrassment. It was such a strange feeling, because I’d had plenty of foot massages in the past, whether they be from a partner or at a salon. They were usually innocent and innocuous affairs, but there was something completely different about this. Firstly, because it would be Alyssa’s feet that I was rubbing, the very colleague that I had one-upped with my promotion. On top of that was the element that this was kind of against my will. If I had a choice, of course, I wouldn’t massage her feet, but now I found myself backed into a corner. Either I massaged Alyssa’s feet, or faced the consequences of my inappropriate gift and would possibly be out of a job. The stress of scrambling for work to make rent seemed a momentous, exhaustive task in comparison to a simple foot massage.
While I stewed in place, I shyly glanced towards her foot again as the flat continued to dangle from her toes, and right at that moment, she flexed her arch slightly so the shoe fell. The clunk on the floor jerked me, and her toes immediately wiggled and spread, almost as if they were dancing triumphantly. They were painted a baby blue colour, and I realised for the first time, that I had never actually seen Alyssa’s feet before. She always wore those same old flats, and I would never have figured her for the type to polish her toes. However, the softness of the blue formed such a contrast with her dark skin, that it was somewhat enticing and I found myself staring. “Come on,” she said, jolting me from my stupor. “They’re not going to rub themselves, are they?” She leant over and tapped the voucher with her fingernail. “I’ve come to collect, and you need to make good on your gift, Maria.”
After a final, lingering look at her blue nails, I made eye contact with her. “Fine,” I said with a gulp, trying to play it off as if I was being a good sport. “I’ll rub your feet”–I licked my lips hesitantly as I eyed her foot again–“since I gave you those vouchers and all.” I made a point to enunciate the fact that I’d given them to her and not anyone else. Plus, the fact she was using the voucher kind of absolved me from any responsibility, as if I had no choice in the matter, and things were flipped so that it was now Alyssa that was being inappropriate. “How should I do it?”
Alyssa smirked, seemingly joyous that I was actually going to do what she wanted. “I think you should get down here by the desk,” she said. “I can finish up with some work while you do your thing. Get ahead of things for tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be the first time you’re doing something productive in this company.”
I grimaced at the suggestion that this was my thing. I’d never given a foot massage in my life, and it was humiliating that I was going to have to do so for someone like Alyssa. The little smile on her face was extremely annoying, and I didn’t want her to think that she was getting to me. “Fine,” I said, almost trying to play it off as nonchalant. “Let’s get it out of the way.”
Alyssa uncrossed her legs excitedly, before slipping her foot back inside her flat. She outstretched both legs towards me, so that the dusty, weathered soles of her shoes were visible. It was probably the giddiest I’d ever seen her, with her usual professional and boring attitude apparently abandoned. “I can’t wait to see you doing this,” she said. “It’ll almost make up for the injustice of losing that promotion.”
I let out a sigh, before looking for something I could sit on. There was a small box of paper near the corner of her desk, and I dragged it over.
“What are you doing?”
“Having somewhere to sit.”
“Sit on the floor,” she said with an arrogant sneer. “It’s plenty comfortable down there.”
I looked between the box and the floor. “But why–”
“Just do it,” she snapped with such ferocity that it made my back spasm. “This is supposed to be a relaxing experience for me, and you’re already aggravating me as usual.” She raised both of her legs, before crossing them in the air and placing her heels on the floor extravagantly.
I frowned while looking at the floor. It was going to be unbearable sat down at Alyssa’s feet, looking up into her smug face while I had no choice but to touch her toes. Never in my life would I have envisioned such an occurrence of being possible. I fidgeted in place, and for a moment, I almost dropped to my knees. However, I couldn’t face the shame of it, and instead, I looked over towards a neighbouring section, and pulled one of the swivel chairs towards us, sitting in place at the corner of her desk. “Okay,” I said. “Take your shoes off.”
Alyssa wrinkled her forehead and frowned; the childlike joy disappearing. “That won’t be comfortable,” she said while flicking a finger towards the floor. “You should get down there and do it, just like I told you to.”
I glanced down towards the floor and remained reluctant. “Why?” It seemed completely unnecessary and was just…too debasing. The foot massage itself was going to be bad enough, but sitting on the floor like some hired help was just a step too far. “Why does it matter where I sit? I already said I’m going to rub your feet.”
Alyssa stared straight back at me without any amusement. “You know what it’s like getting a foot massage at a salon. They put you up on a seat and they kneel down so that you get the most comfort. It’s all about the receiver enjoying it, right? So, it makes sense for you to kneel on the floor.”
“But the box–”
“The box is still too high,” she almost screeched, before she pointed at her computer screen. “If you want, I can just send the email instead? Because these vouchers are supposed to be about what you can do for me, and right now, all you’re doing is causing me grief as usual.”
I chewed my lip while recalling all of the times I’d received a massage. The girls usually did kneel down, or sometimes sit on a small stool. The box seemed suitable, but, evidently, Alyssa wanted to make this as uncomfortable for me as possible, which sucked, but it was better than being fired. “Fine,” I said, and I dropped from the seat and down to the floor, crossing my legs and sitting Indian style. There was a fair compromise as far as I was concerned, because I certainly wasn’t about to kneel. I waited patiently for Alyssa to remove her shoes, however, she’d already turned towards her computer and began typing.
“Go ahead,” she said. “You can get started.”
“You haven’t removed your shoes,” I said, somewhat surprised.
Alyssa didn’t even bother looking away from her monitor. Instead, she just arrogantly waved her fingers at me. “That’s always part of the service whenever I get a foot massage.” She then let out a deep sigh. “This is supposed to be relaxing for me, and you’re already causing me such stress.” It was a return of the same arrogant tone she always used whenever talking to me about some work-related matter. “Just get busy with it already.”
In the months since I’d been promoted instead of her, I’d noticed that the casual conversation between us had dwindled. Clearly, the friendly chatter had been replaced with resentment on Alyssa’s part. Gradually, our conversations had grown to be entirely focused around work, and I’d noticed that there was a lot of kickback aimed in my direction. If I assigned Alyssa a task, she’d never just blindly accept it. There were always questions, and often, she’d deliberately attempt to defy the instructions, drawing attention to the fact that she had a better way of doing things. Unfortunately, she was often right, and I found myself struggling to bring her into line.
On one occasion, I had insisted to Mike that he brought her in for a dressing down. She’d made me look particularly foolish while questioning some of my decisions during a team meeting and I just wasn’t going to stand for it. She had seemed intent on making me look unqualified and incompetent at my job. However, the disciplinary didn’t go as I’d expected, since every time Mike had raised a point, Alyssa had a justified rebuttal.
Regarding one marketing strategy that I had opted for, Alyssa demonstrated, with a frustrating amount of data, how the strategy she’d steered us towards was more successful.
“Still,” Mike had said while gritting his teeth and struggling to come up with something that would undo her point. “Maria is your supervisor, and you need to show her the appropriate respect.”
“I did,” Alyssa had said without a hint of irony. “I suggested a more appropriate strategy and saved her from losing face by going down a path of failure.”
Mike had awkwardly scratched his ear, while I had looked on like a deer in headlights, silently willing him to defend me and becoming increasingly nervous as I had realised I was going to have to do so myself. “I’m not a failure,” I had said, almost in a whine.
“I know,” Alyssa had said with a nod of her head. “Because I stepped in. That’s my point.” She had then looked towards Mike, almost annoyed. “Is that not the definition of working as a team? Ensuring we all function well for the benefit of the company?” She had then rolled her eyes. “Even if some of us need more help than others.”
“Ummm, yes,” Mike had said, and he looked towards me as if he was as annoyed as Alyssa was. “Can we just bring this matter to a close?”
“Fine,” I’d said, inwardly seething that I’d been made to look a fool in front of my own boss and lover.
“Is that everything?” Alyssa had said, struggling to hide a smirk. “Because I really need to get back to what I was working on and this interruption is putting me behind.”
“Yes, go,” Mike had said.
Once Alyssa had left us, I had become furious. “What the hell was that? You didn’t even defend me.”
Mike had raised a hand, gesturing towards the door as it closed behind Alyssa. “What was I supposed to do? You made it sound like she’d been insulting you or something? If you don’t want her to correct your mistakes, don’t make them in the bloody first place. You know how bad this makes me look? I gave you the supervisor job because you begged me to, so do your bloody job that you get paid for.”
With that, I had fallen silent, like a scolded child. “Are you mad at me?”
Mike had squinted his eyes. “Don’t be silly,” he had said. “Just, don’t bring stuff like this to me again. It makes me look bad having to defend you, especially when she’s coming at me with evidence. This needs to stay a secret between us, and if you keep putting me in a position to defend you over silly squabbles, people are going to catch on, aren’t they?” He had stood, and gently squeezed both of my shoulders while straightening my posture. “You’re the supervisor. So, supervise her! If you don’t like the way she’s acting, then of course, bring her into line. But, you need to exert your authority and do it yourself.”
I had sniffled before nodding my head. “Okay.”
Now, I was down on the floor, staring up at the very same colleague that had been causing me problems for months. I’d been suspicious that she was sabotaging me, to a degree, as some of the mistakes being blamed on me I couldn’t even recall having made. Sure, I was self-aware enough to admit that Alyssa was damn good at her job, and in a different scenario, she would probably have been the one that was promoted. However, in this line of work, it wasn’t about what you knew, but rather, who you knew, and she was just going to have to accept that life was sometimes unfair. I got the promotion, because Mike thought I deserved it, and she was being so damn childish over everything. We could have already been working as a harmonious team if she’d just looked past a minor gripe.
“Well, come on,” she said with a snap of her fingers. “I don’t have all night. I’m probably going to be finished up in the next half hour so you need to get busy.”
“Fine,” I said while raising my hands in defeat. I reached over, and pulled one of her flats free from her foot. Immediately, I turned my face away and squeezed my nostrils closed as the warm, intense odour hit me by surprise. “Eww,” I said without thinking; tossing the shoe aside. “That’s strong.”
I felt Alyssa’s other foot kick against my thigh. “What do you mean by that?”
“Your feet are smelly,” I said, while still clutching my nose. “When was the last time you washed them?”
Alyssa’s face recoiled, and she looked as if I had mortally offended her. “Well, that’s not nice, is it? I’ve been working hard all day. I’m about to get a relaxing foot massage, and you use it as an opportunity to insult me?” She shook her head dismissively, and let out a sigh. “I mean, a girl working in a spa would never speak to a customer like that.”
I instantly felt self-conscious. It was the same feelings I always had whenever Alyssa would talk over me in a meeting, or point out something I’d said as being incorrect. I’d feel on edge, and all confidence would evaporate from me as I noticed everyone else lose respect for me. I dropped my hand, and tried to explain myself. “That’s not what I meant–”
“So, what did you mean. Are you saying they don’t smell?”
“Well, I, ummm, yeah, they do–”
I jumped as Alyssa caught me by surprise, lifting her foot and pinching my nose between her biggest and second toe. For a moment, I struggled to grasp what had actually happened, but then, I became abundantly aware of the humiliating thing she was doing. I yanked my head free, while screwing my face up in disgust. “What the hell? What are you doing?” I rapidly rubbed my nose and tried to wipe away all trace of her grubby toes. “That’s disgusting. Why the hell would you do that?” I could barely fathom that she’d actually had the gall to do something so inappropriate to me as if it were a casual gesture.
“Do they really smell that bad?” she asked, while tilting her head and looking at me with curiosity. “Because, if you’re saying they smell too bad to massage, well, I guess I’m better off emailing HR.” She shrugged. “You know, I thought we had an agreement, but if you’re breaking it already. Well–”
“No,” I said. “I’m not saying that–”
“None of the pedicure girls ever act so rudely,” she said off-handily, while turning back towards her monitor. “I guess this really isn’t going to work out.”
I craned my neck and watched as Alyssa opened the email on her screen. “What…what are you doing?” She continued to ignore me and tap away on her keyboard, and I became more flustered as each word appeared on the screen. “Alyssa, what are you doing?”
“Exactly what I said I would.” She began typing another paragraph out, then attached two images, one of the voucher booklet, and another of the kinky card I’d sent along with the gift. “I’m letting HR know about your little Secret Santa gift and who I think it was actually meant for.” She glanced towards me knowingly. “Do you need me to say it out loud?”
“What? No,” I said in a panic. “It was meant for you.” With that, I fumbled desperately removing her other shoe. “I’ll massage your feet now, Alyssa.” I grimaced as I smelled the fresh stink from her other foot, and I felt my tummy turning as I noticed how clammy both of her soles were. Clearly, they’d been stuffed up in her flats all day, and though her toes were painted that cute blue, which somewhat complimented her ebony skin, they were covered in marks from the cramped nature of her shoes. She spread her pudgy, sausage-like toes, and as she continued to tap away at her keyboard, I rapidly wrapped my fingers around her foot.
I looked up at her almost pleadingly, as I began to knead my thumbs into the sole of her moist foot, almost willing her to notice that I was putting the effort in and she didn’t need to ruin my life. I honestly didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but I attempted to massage them in the way I liked my own feet rubbed. I was almost boring into her with my eyes, as I twisted her foot in my hands, pressing into her arch with my thumb and rolling it along the bumpy knots that were evidently present. Such was the sweaty nature of her soles, that I found my fingers clumsily slipping along her skin. However, I remained resolute, determined to stave off that email for as long as possible.
Alyssa momentarily paused in her typing, and let out an involuntarily sigh as I knuckled at her instep. I took that as a sign that I was doing something right, and spurred on by her response, I repeated the process again, focusing in on a particularly stubborn knot just beneath the ball of her foot. With both thumbs, I pressed with such dedication that my hands were beginning to tire and cramp; all while my own skin seemed to be soaking up the sweat.
Gradually, Alyssa slowed down the pace with which she was typing, until eventually, she rested back into the seat and closed her eyes. “That’s nice,” she muttered. “Keep doing that.”
I dipped my head and nodded eagerly, thankful that she wasn’t continuing with the email. We remained silently in tandem, Alyssa stretching out while I pressed into her arches and knuckled the balls of her feet to the point my fingers ached. I even thumped her heels with my fist, as I’d seen the masseuse girls doing at the salon.
“Pull on the toes,” Alyssa said without even opening her eyes. “I find that especially relaxing.”
“Umm, okay,” I said awkwardly, looking away in embarrassment before I began tugging on each of her short toes; the joints cracking in response to my efforts. Once I’d been through all ten, I stroked her soles softly, hoping to make her happy and get this all over with. However, my hands were already spent and I didn’t have much power left in me. I was never one for work that involved getting my hands dirty, and I grimaced at noting black, flakes of sweaty skin rolled up and stuck to my palms. “Are we done?” I asked, rubbing my hands together and wanting to head to the washroom.
Alyssa’s eyes shot open and she sneered. “We’re done when I say we’re done. This is my foot massage.” She dropped one of her heels onto my bent knee with a thud. Her toes spread, and I grimaced at noting the dark lines of dirt caked in the sweaty crevices. “Get in between my toes too. I like how it feels.”
“Really?” I said with disgust. “Do I have to?”
“Yes, why not?”
“It’s just…” I trailed off as I heard Alyssa sigh with dissatisfaction again. “Okay.” I couldn’t even face her as I dug my fingers between each of her toes, feeling gross and looking away as I felt the dirt rolling up beneath my skin as I dislodged it.
“That’s it,” Alyssa said with a smile while watching me and nodding with approval. “This is my favourite part. I love how this feels.” She closed her eyes again, before breathily adding, “Make sure you get between them all and get all that icky stuff out.”
“This isn’t part of a foot massage though,” I said while wrinkling my nose. I was just moving onto the pinkie toe, plunging my finger into the gap and digging out the jammy substance with my nail. “They usually wash your feet first.”
“Quit your complaining and really put some effort in,” she said while looking down her nose at me. “Right now, you’re convincing me not to send that email, but that can all change in a second. You need to really work those fingers.”
I bit my tongue and avoided saying something that would get me further in trouble, instead lifting the other foot and repeating the process of scraping out all of the slimy goop between her sweaty toes.
“I’m actually loving this,” Alyssa said with a chuckle. “Seeing you down there and cleaning the muck from between my toes. Seems like you’ve finally found something you’re good at, huh?”
“Okay, enough,” I said with a groan. “It’s bad enough I have to do this, but could you please not make it worse.”
“Too late,” she said, and I darted my head up in confusion. Right at that moment, as I looked up from my sitting position, Alyssa’s sweaty foot gripped in one hand as my finger diligently scraped the grime from between her biggest and second toe, Alyssa snapped a photo of me.
I immediately flinched under the flash, as a throbbing pounded against my chest, the veins in my throat seeming to pulsate as a wave of morbid fear washed through me. “What…what the hell are you doing? I asked while dropping her heel against my thigh with a thud. I instinctively wiped my finger on the skirt of my dress, desperate to get all of her sweaty toe filth away.
“Just keeping something to remember this by.” She cackled to herself, before turning the phone towards me.
I blushed with embarrassment as I saw the picture. I looked ridiculous, hunkered down on the floor, and expression of confusion on my face as I appeared to be handling Alyssa’s foot with care and attention to detail. Behind me, the rest of the office was clear, and it was obvious that I was sat at the side of Alyssa’s desk, though her ebony skin was evidence enough that it was her taking the photo anyway. I looked away with shame from the humiliating documentation of my pathetic service. “Please delete that,” I said in an almost whine. “I don’t want anyone else knowing about this.”
Alyssa chuckled again. “Well, you better start behaving yourself right, because I think this photo goes along very well with everything else. Just wait till I tell them that once you realised your mistake, you came over to me, begging down on your knees and kissing my feet for forgiveness.”
“What the hell,” I said, while scooting back further from her. “I never did anything like that.”
“Yet,” she said, while looking at me mischievously. “But, we’ll get to that.”
My face was screwing up in disgust, all while the stink of Alyssa’s feet was still polluting my senses. “I’ll never do anything like that,” I spat.
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’m sure a couple of days ago you thought you’d never be giving me a foot massage too, but here we are.”
She slotted her phone into her handbag and I followed it with my eyes. “Alyssa, I’m serious. I rubbed your feet like you wanted, but please, delete that photo.”
She waved a hand at me as if I were nothing but a mild irritation. “I think I’d prefer to hold onto it. You know, just in case it proves to be useful later.”
“You’re not going to show anyone, are you?”
She shrugged, rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. “Who knows?”
“You do,” I said forcefully. “Please, don’t leave me hanging like this.”
“I have to get going anyway,” she said with a shrug, before withdrawing her feet and slipping them back into her flats. “You can leave now.”
“Alyssa, please.” I fumbled awkwardly, swallowing with nervousness as I clambered to my feet. My hands were moist and grimy from the amount of time I’d spent pressing my fingers and thumbs into Alyssa’s sweaty feet. I lifted them slightly towards my face, recoiling at the ingrained stink. “So, umm, we’re good? You’re not going to show anyone, right?””
Alyssa turned and looked at me in surprise. “No, Maria,” she said in tone as if I was an idiot. “We’re pretty far from good.” She shrugged her shoulders, squinting her eyes as she seemed to be enjoying taunting me. “I’m still leaning towards taking this all to HR, but for now, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to change my mind.”
I gulped. “What…what does that mean? I just rubbed your feet like you wanted.”
She flicked her fingers at me, ushering me away. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready to make use of my gift again.”
With that, I was dismissed, almost like I was hired help, rather than the office supervisor and the person in a senior position to her. However, my words caught in my throat, and I realised, if I snapped back at her with disrespect, the consequences wouldn’t be worth considering. Instead, I merely offered a bemused, “Ummm, okay then.”
My hands were still reeking of her feet as I gave them a disgusted sniff in the elevator; pouting before wiping them on my dress. Once home, I went for a shower, and I was so exhausted that I just headed straight to bed without even waiting up for my mother. Even when Mike hit me up for a bootie call, I simply disconnected.
However, despite the fatigue, I couldn’t drift off at all, as I realised that now I was in even deeper. Not only did Alyssa have the gift and card, but now, she had photographic evidence of me humbly massaging her sweaty feet. That in itself was beyond any consequence that HR might inflict upon me; more being a humiliation I would never be able to live down.