It was a Saturday morning, and I was up at five. Not for any particular reason, mind you. I woke up at five every day and it stuck on the weekends too. The difference on Saturdays and Sundays were the hangovers.
At 45, the hangovers hurt but I was so used to them, I didn’t even vomit anymore. I was just tired and felt like crap. Another wasted weekend.
I looked at myself in the mirror and the usual amount of disgust was there. I looked at a middle-aged man who weighed 365 pounds, had graying hair, didn’t bother to shave, and didn’t take his blood pressure meds way too often.
I had so many tasks and maintenance duties piling up to do around the house, it didn’t even bother me anymore. I was lazy and lethargic.
I looked at my wife sleeping peacefully in our bed. I loved her more than life itself, but I felt she was giving up on me. The weight and blood pressure problems caused erectile disfunction and when I could get it up, it was only for a short time. I’m sure she was tired of me using my fingers on her. I didn’t like the taste or smell of her pussy, so I didn’t do oral on her very often and felt bad about that. Not bad enough to change for her though. I regretted that too.
I made a cup of coffee and opened up Literotica to peruse the new stories by my favorite authors. Nothing exciting popped up, so I hit the categories I liked. Loving Wives, Celebrity, Romance, even the occasional Incest story hit the spot. I’d get lost in the stories all day. If the story aroused me it got five stars no matter how bad the grammar was in the story.
My wife wouldn’t wake up until after ten. There was no reason for her to do so. She knew it would be another day in front of the television and on our phones. My kids would get up around then as well. My seventeen-year-old son would get up around nine and eat breakfast. He’d shower then retreat to his room for the day. My sixteen-year-old son would do the same, but he’d stay in his room until he got hungry and then he’d take a shower and eat breakfast. That was usually around noon.
I tried to get them to wake earlier and go to breakfast with me, but I usually got a no on that request. My wife would join me if I woke her, but she would often be crabby later due to not getting the extra couple of hours of sleep. Often, she’d fall asleep on the couch in the early evenings which kept us further divided.
I finished the first round of stories and decided to make breakfast. I always intended to eat healthy so I could lose weight and get healthy, but between thinking about it and making it, I usually succumbed to the devil on that.
As I looked through the fridge, I saw we had green peppers and onions that I had diced up earlier in the week from another aborted attempt to food prep and eat healthy, some tomatoes that were diced up from taco Tuesday, and some black beans.
“Healthy today,” I promised myself and tossed the veggies in a pan with some olive oil. After separating three egg whites, I added one whole egg and whipped it up.
As the eggs cooked, I made some whole wheat toast and grabbed the butter spray. The butter spray was supposedly made up from the stuff that settled on the top of the butter when it melted, and they said it was healthy. It had to be better than butter, so I ate it. It was good.
As usual I overcooked the eggs and swore I’d never make that mistake again, but I repeated it all the time anyway. I splattered some hot sauce on them grabbed a fresh coffee and a large glass of water. I had to stay hydrated, you know.
I changed my lifestyle several years before and lost over 100 pounds. I got disheartened because I stalled and didn’t lose weight for over a month. I said >fuck it, and started drinking again. Drinking made me gain weight, which in turn made me hate myself. That, of course, caused me to drink more and I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of self-hate and weight gain.
I ate my unsatisfactory breakfast, added a banana that was too brown, and logged the food into my tracker app. I hoped I was starting a new lifestyle change. I doubted it.
*****
I met my wife when we were eighteen. We worked at a department store in different departments but saw each other in passing. She was an adorable brown-haired lass with a nice set of breasts that begged to be sucked. We were both virgins and had little dating experience, but we fell in love.
We dated until I finally proposed to her on Valentine’s Day, after several years of her begging and getting upset with me for not asking. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry her, I was just afraid to get married because I knew that she wanted to have a family right away. She was desperate to be a mom. I loved that about her, but it scared the hell out of me.
I was an immature, bar-hopping knucklehead who couldn’t keep a job. How the hell was I supposed to have a family?
I got lucky and found a job that paid a salary plus commission and felt better about having kids. I was moving up in my company and got a branch manager job. The bosses loved me and how I could come into a meeting with no reports and no notes and correctly recite the status of all of my work. I didn’t know any better. I figured I’d look stupid if I had to keep looking at notes to answer questions.
Then I screwed it up. I got complacent and lazy. As the manager, I had no one looking over my shoulder making sure I was getting my job done on a regular basis. I had weekly meetings, but I faked my way through those. I couldn’t get out of the rut I drove myself into. Then I got a break.
It was the fact that the owners liked me, and the general manager thought I had potential that saved me. I was offered a different job in corporate that paid a bigger salary but wouldn’t pay any commission. I wasn’t making any commission anyway, so I jumped at the second chance.
It was the second-best thing I ever did. We had our first son Liam a month after I changed jobs and a year later we had our second son Pete. Then shit hit the fan at worked and I almost lost everything again.
The owners made some bad decisions, profits were free-falling, and they started laying off whomever they could get away with losing. When that wasn’t enough, we took salary cuts. It was devastating.
One of our laid off employees found a job at one of the big banks who were expanding in our area and got me an interview. I got lucky that they were building a new office and needed bodies in chairs. I had a big body. The interview was a formality and within a month, I was making twice what I had been, and life was looking good again.
I was good at my job and earned a couple of promotions. I kept gaining weight and kept drinking. I got the diagnosis of high blood pressure when I was 35 and did nothing about it except take my medicine somewhat regularly.
My kids were doing fine, work was going fine, and my marriage was going fine. I thought I was sitting in high clover. In reality, I was cultivating the beginning of the end.
My wife and I decided to spice things up in the bedroom. We watched porn together every Friday night. She began to give me regular blowjobs, and to both of our surprise she started to enjoy anal sex. She’d dress up in stockings, high heels, and lingerie. We’d drink wine, and fool around on the couch while watching porn. It was a great time for us, but after a while, the kids got older and the danger of getting caught was too high; we stopped doing it.
We stopped doing things for our marriage period. We didn’t go on date nights, unless it was a birthday or anniversary. We didn’t make love unless she was so horny she couldn’t hold out any longer, and that stopped almost completely when my ED started. My drinking didn’t help that either.
I knew she was drifting away. There wasn’t another guy or anything like that, she wasn’t the cheating type. It was just that I wasn’t doing my part to keep her happy and I wasn’t such a prize that she couldn’t become unhappy. I was so lazy; I didn’t do anything to save the implosion of my marriage.
*****
Back in the present situation, I watched nothing on television until I got the energy to find something to eat for lunch. There was lunchmeat, leftovers, frozen pizzas, soups, and tons of other food, but I ended up going to Taco Bell and gorging myself on tacos and bean burritos.
As I ate in the car, I beat myself up for another failed attempt to be healthy. I dove farther down the well of despair and went to the cigar store after finishing a lunch that would fill three people.
Twenty-five bucks later, I was reclined in my car in the Wal-Mart parking lot puffing on a Nicaraguan Puro and reading more stories. There were no more new stories that interested me, so I read some of the same stories I’d read over and over.
I was gone about two hours when my wife realized I was gone and texted me.
“Where are you?”
“Smoking.”
“Come home.”
No please, no reason, no nothing. Such was my life at that point.
“Fine.”
I drove the three miles home and walked in the house annoyed. I wasn’t allowed to smoke in the house so I couldn’t finish the one I started or the second one I intended to smoke, and it irritated me. It was too cold yet to smoke on the deck, so I’d have to go back to the car to finish my cigars.
“I’m home,” I said tersely. She walked into the living room and sat on the couch. She looked like she had been crying.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. Just then, a moving truck backed into my driveway. “What’s that doing here?” I asked as I watched her father and brothers exited the truck. My heart sunk. I knew I’d finally blown it and she was leaving.
She was crying and trying to find the words, but they wouldn’t come. Tears fell from my cheeks as the doorbell rang.
“I understand,” I whispered. “Always remember I loved you and I always will.”
She started sobbing and I ignored the second ring. I walked down to the garage, got in my car, and left her to leave me without my being in her way. I didn’t even think about my kids who weren’t around. I was a coward who thought he was playing the martyr.
My tears stopped by the time I pulled into the liquor store’s parking lot. They started again, after I bought the fifth of Jack and drove to a cigar lounge. Six hours later, I UBER’d home and found no wife, no kids and all rooms except the kitchen and guest bedroom devoid of furniture.
*****
I woke the morning after she left in the same shape I’d have been in on any Sunday morning. The hangover was slightly worse because it was from whisky, but I started so early, so I ended up not too bad.
I walked into the kitchen and was glad she left me a coffee maker. Sitting in front of it was a note and an envelope of papers.
It started, “Ben.” Not, “Dear Ben,” or any other term of endearment. I don’t know why I expected more.
The note continued, “I’ve rented an apartment near the boys’ school. The envelope has divorce papers and if you sign them and give them to my attorney, he will file them. If you don’t sign them, we’ll have to go to court, and I don’t want to do that. I think it’s clear that this has been coming for a long time, and I waited until the kids were old enough to understand. You’d have been surprised at their reaction. I cried for hours when they told me they expected me to leave you years ago. You wouldn’t have known about that conversation. You were in the basement on your third bottle of wine by then. This is so hard for me because I love the man I first met so much and desperately hoped he would come back to me. I just can’t continue to hurt while I wait. I feel so unloved, and you never used to make me feel that way. Please get yourself help before you end up dead from a heart attack or worse. I can’t be there when that happens. You told me you loved me and always will. I wish I could say the same, Cheryl.”
I put the note on the fridge and noticed she took the calendar that let us know when the boys had activities. I wondered for a moment if they would even give me a copy of it if I asked.
I picked up the envelope with the divorce papers. She was completely fair. She didn’t make as much as I did, but she didn’t ask for maintenance. The child support was calculated by the state, so she had no say in that, but it wouldn’t kill me. She wanted to sell the house and that irritated me because it was my home. We didn’t have a lot of equity and it needed a lot of work done so I decided to not bother trying to sell. I’d take a loan out and buy her equity out.
Just like that, my life as I knew it was over. I motivated myself enough to shower and get an UBER to a bar in the same strip mall as the cigar lounge where my car sat.
*****
I woke the next day in a jail cell. I had no memory of what I did to get there, or of the previous day after getting to the bar. An officer was standing in the open doorway and said, “Well, I thought we were going to have to take you to a hospital. Are you feeling okay?”
“Just a headache,” I moaned. “What did I do?”
“Nothing. I found you wandering down the county road where there aren’t any sidewalks. You were incoherent and couldn’t remember your garage code when I got you home, so I brought you back here to sleep it off. Thank you for not driving in that condition.”
I nodded. “Sorry for the trouble.”
He handed me a cup of coffee and I sat up.
“Look, you got really lucky it was me last night. Some of the other guys on shift would’ve found any number of things to write you up for just to teach you a lesson. I’m not gonna do that if you promise me you’ll get some help. There are some local counseling centers that treat alcoholism, and you should call one. I don’t know how much you drank, but you blew a 1.9. With someone your size, you must have drunk a shitload. You’re lucky to be alive.”
“Sorry. My wife left me yesterday.”
He put his hand on my shoulder and said, “You’re not the first guy to lose a wife and you won’t be the last. You can’t kill yourself over it and drinking like you did last night will kill you.”
I took a drink from the strong black coffee and said, “Is it okay if I go home or…”
“Yeah, you’re not being held for anything. You can’t drive though. You’re surely still drunk enough to be impaired. I’ll give you a lift. I’m off in ten minutes.”
“Thanks,” I said as he led me to the lobby.
I sat and looked at the floor wondering if I had the strength to stop my life from spinning out of control. I felt my phone buzzed and it was a message from Cheryl.
“Are you okay?”
I smirked. Maybe she loved me, but she just couldn’t put up with me? I could only hope.
“No. I’m not sure I ever will be.”
“Please get help, Ben. Don’t make the boys lose their father.”
“They already have.”
I turned the phone off and cried. The policeman came out and said, “Are you gonna be okay? Is there anyone that can be with you today?”
I shook my head. “No. No one gives a shit about me anymore. I have no family besides my wife, kids, and in-laws. My friends are just acquaintances. I’ll be fine alone at home.”
“No drinking?” he asked gruffly.
I laughed. “My stomach couldn’t handle it if I wanted to.”
“Okay, come on then.”
*****
I waved to him as he drove away and walked into my garage. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I had to get my shit together. I didn’t know if I could do anything to get Cheryl back, but I had to try. I sat on the bed in the guest room and cried myself to sleep.
I was startled awake by the sound of the door opening. I tried to jump out of bed and confront the intruder, but I couldn’t move fast enough. I heard Cheryl calling out to me and groaned.
“In here,” I shouted and listened to her bound up the stairs.
“What are you doing?” she yelled.
“I was trying to sleep.”
“Why are you in the clothes you wore yesterday?”
“Cheryl, what do you want? I thought you left me.”
Her anger faded, and she said, “I thought you were going to do something stupid. Your last message…”
“Jesus, are you kidding me? You dare move out, and by the way, fuck you for taking all the televisions. That was a dick move. You dare leave me and take my kids, and I’m not supposed to think I’ve lost my sons? It sounds like you’ve already poisoned them against me.”
“Ben, I…”
“Just go, Cheryl.” I was pissed. If I didn’t have alcohol still coursing through my veins, I’d have probably handled it better. Hell, I should’ve been groveling at her feet. Instead, I was going ballistic.
She started sobbing and said, “They love you, Ben. Don’t let your anger make you forget that.”
She turned and ran from the room. I heard the door slam shut and I fell back on the bed.
“Way to go, dumb ass,” I said to myself. I would have screwed up a two-car funeral.
*****
The next morning, I called into work and took a week’s vacation. I needed to get my head on straight and working wasn’t going to help. I had plenty of time off built up, so no one was too upset.
I looked up some counselors and found one near the house. I set up a time to go in and get started and felt pretty good about that.
After lunch, I started picking off the littlest of the things I had to do around the house and made a list of things I’d need for the bigger things. I picked up some new curtains for the bedroom, bought new furniture and a television for the living room, and finally, I got a membership to one of the local health clubs. I had to get in better shape.
I was looking at the clothes the club had on display when a young lady walked up to me.
“Can I help you find something?” she chirped.
I laughed, “You don’t have any fat man sizes.”
“Oh, don’t call yourself fat. That’s no way to treat yourself.”
“Okay, but you don’t have any clothes that will fit someone of my enlarged stature.”
She giggled, “Not out here. The boss has it in her mind that we should sell goal clothes. You know, smaller sizes so you can lose weight and fit into them?”
“That’s dumb.”
She laughed and whispered, “I know.”
She stayed with me as I walked around the clothes and I found myself enjoying talking about nothing with her, when she got back in work mode and said, “We have bigger sizes in the back. Take a look and pick out what you want. I can bring it out for you.”
“Okay.” I picked out a couple of pairs of shorts, a jump suit, and several dri-fit shirts. She bounced off to the back room and I couldn’t help but think of the fine view of her butt while I picked out a gym bag.
“Good choices,” she said, as she bounced up to me. “I like how you got a set in a smaller size too. That’s a great attitude to have.” She looked around and whispered, “My boss will be happy.”
I nodded and handed her my credit card. I took another peek at her butt as she walked around the counter to ring me up. I couldn’t think of a better one I’d ever seen.
“All set, Mr. Randow. If you need anything else, let me know. My name’s Flora, and I’m glad to meet you.”
“Thanks, Flora. Nice to meet you too.”
She bounced away and I felt better about myself again. I was taking the first steps to getting my shit together and I felt so good I had a healthy dinner.
*****
The next day I visited an attorney, and we looked over the divorce papers. He was an older gentleman that reminded me of Matlock. He was sharp as a tack and said, “Could’ve been worse, but divorce is what it is. If you want to try and work it out, I can delay it for a while. If you don’t sign and file, you have to live apart for six months and show that you tried to work it out. Folks tend to use counseling to meet that requirement, but there’s other ways.”
“Well, she moved out, so the clock is ticking on that. Can we go the counseling route?”
“I’ll present it to her attorney and see how it goes.”
“Sounds good to me.”
He nodded and said, “Ben, work on yourself. Yours is a sad story but you definitely have some aspects of your life that need to be cleaned up.”
“I already started.” I said. I just hoped it worked.
“Good,” he said as he patted my back and walked me out. “Maybe, that will help her come back to you.”
I went to the health club and decided I’d start it out easy by walking on the treadmill. Flora saw me and stopped at my machine.
“How’s it going Mr. Randow?” she chirped. She was so bubbly, I wondered if it were an act.
“Good, but please call me Ben.”
She looked at my speed and said, “You’re taking it easy, huh?”
I nodded slightly embarrassed.
“Good, up it slowly and before you know it, you’ll be jogging.” She nodded her head towards a man that was my size jogging with sweat pouring from his body. “You need to get some headphones and listen to some music or podcasts or something. It’ll help the time go faster.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
She smiled and bounced away. I smiled and ogled her butt as she walked.
I was able to walk for a half-hour, but it took everything I had. My entire body ached, and when I was done, the hot water of the shower felt amazing as I let the flow soak. Even with the pain and soreness, I felt better.
*****
On Wednesday night, I walked into the room for my group alcohol counseling. There were two others waiting and a little older lady at the head of the table.
“You must be Ben?” she asked with a smile.
“Yes, ma’am,” I said and sat in the plastic folding chair.
“Just call me Gina.”
I nodded and she said, “Ben, why don’t you start us off tonight. When someone new comes in, we go around the table and introduce ourselves. Tell us what brings you in.”
“Sure. I’m Ben Randow. My wife left me and wanted a divorce because I drink too much. Well, there’s other things, but drinking is the root of the problem.”
“DUI?” an older Polish man asked.
“No. I didn’t drive, but the police picked me up stumbling around on the side of the road. I agreed to do this if he didn’t arrest me.”
“Lucky.” The girl across from me groaned.
“Thanks, Ben,” Gina said and nodded to the Polish guy.
“I’m Stanley. I got a DUI after leaving a party. I fell asleep at the wheel at a stop light. Cop pulled up right behind me.”
The other person was a young girl. In my high school days, we’d have called her a goth chick, but I didn’t know if that was still how to label her. Her all-black clothes and heavy eye makeup was consistent with the goth chicks of my youth.
“I’m Annabel. I got into an accident after smoking weed. I didn’t think I was so bad that I couldn’t drive, but I sideswiped a garbage dumpster in my apartment complex.”
Gina nodded and said, “Today we’re going to talk about triggers and how to find things to do to avoid them.”
I opened the workbook she gave me and circled all of the things listed that made me want to drink. There were a couple of dozen things listed, and I realized I had a problem when I circled a majority of them. I took a deep breath and hoped the sessions worked.
*****
They say nothing good happens late at night, and that was certainly true in my case. I wanted to drink and struggled to not open a bottle of wine or a can of beer. I fought through it though and was proud of myself when I made it a week.
I lost ten pounds and was happy. I knew it was mostly water weight, but every time I stepped on the scale and saw progress, it made it a better day.
I was sticking to my healthy eating lifestyle, so I purged the house of junk food, canned foods, pasta, and anything else that wasn’t healthy. It was replaced by wheat pasta, black beans, canned tuna, and a freezer full of vegetables. Chicken breasts, salmon, and ground turkey replaced the steak and ground beef. I meal prepped and I was killing it.
I went to the health club every morning and Flora kept making a point of saying hello and giving me little tips. I couldn’t get a handle on her motivation. I found out she was 31 and not in her 20’s as I guessed, but she was way out of my league. I let my confusion go and didn’t question her kindness. I chalked it up to her being a good person.
The one thing that wasn’t going well was the divorce. I had hoped that my Matlock could get us into counseling, but Cheryl didn’t believe I was serious about changing and she pushed back. They tried to say that I was mentally cruel to her and would change the divorce to that reason. If they did that, there was no need to wait for six months of separation.
When I heard that, I knew my marriage was really over. When they said she didn’t want to try to save it, I knew I lost her forever. I signed the papers as served and texted her one last time.
“I had hoped you loved me enough once to try to save our marriage. I’m sorry I let you down.”
I left the office in a daze and I’m not sure how I made it home.
*****
Two weeks later, I was cleaning my pool in anticipation of visitation with my kids. I was excited and hoped I could start to rebuild a relationship with them. That wasn’t to be. I was irritated that they brought their girlfriends over to use the pool. It was supposed to be my time with them, but they sent me a clear message by walking past and giving a cursory hello.
I dropped the leaf catcher where I stood and walked into the house. I sat on my bed upset with myself for what I did to make them hate me so much. How could I have been so blind before? I stopped myself and yelled, “Act like a man!” I’d had enough of being an emotional wreck. It was time to move on.
I washed my face and grabbed my keys. I locked the sliding door to the house from the back and I locked the front door. I had already changed the code on the garage door, so I didn’t have to worry about that, and I went to the health club.
I changed into my shorts and shirt, which were fitting looser, and started walking on the treadmill. I was going faster than ever before at 3.5 miles per hour which was a fast walk for me. I had been able to start walking for 45 minutes at 3 mph and felt like I was making real progress. Then I got stupid. I was so angry and frustrated; I pushed the speed up faster and started to jog. Flora saw and flashed me a bright smile from across the room. I stopped concentrating on what I was doing, and I lost my footing.
I fell and it was like a scene from a cartoon. The thud sounded like a cannon blast, echoing through the room as I hit the tread. I slid off the pad, but I didn’t go completely off. My upper body stayed on, and my shirt got caught. I got a bit of a tread burn on my stomach before I could roll off and pull my shirt down.
I was mortified and in shock from embarrassment. Before I knew it, Flora was by my side, asking, “Oh, shit! Ben, are you okay?”
I tried to stand, and she stopped me. “Don’t get up. Let’s make sure you’re okay first.”
“Damn it, Flora, I’m fine.”
I pushed myself up and I was sure to the bystanders I looked like a whale standing on its tail.
“Leave me alone,” I shouted and hurried to the locker room as quickly as I could.
I couldn’t believe I did something so embarrassing. I was already an idiot and it finally seeped into my new life at the health club. I’d never be able to show my face there again.
I cleaned out the locker I was using and rushed out the door, only to bump into Flora and I almost knocked her to the ground.
“Sorry,” I said as I continued away.
“Ben! Wait!” she shouted.
I ignored her and ran to my car. It was a stupid decision for a couple of reasons. First, my ankle hurt and second, she was in way better shape.
“Ben, stop,” she shouted as she ran in front of me, “you’re going to hurt yourself.” She put her small hands on the bulk of my chest.
“Let me go, Flora. I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”
She shook her head. “No chance. You can’t let this stop you. You’re doing so well; I can see your weight loss.”
“I’m a joke, Flora, my life is a fucking joke and now I’ve messed this up too.”
She touched my cheek and said, “Ben, you’re not a joke. We all have circumstances we’ve fucked up, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make positive changes. Look at you. You’ve been at this less than a month and look how loosely your shirt fits now. Look how your jawline is starting to come through. Don’t give up, please.”
“Why do you care so much? Why do you constantly talk to me as if I matter to you? Who the fuck am I but some fat ass that looks at your ass too much?”
She smirked. “You like my ass?”
“I have to go,” I groaned. I brushed past her and got into my car. As I pulled away, I watched her in the rearview mirror reach out to me.
*****
I pulled into my driveway, and I saw that my kids were still there. I was surprised at first, but then realized I hadn’t been gone for more than an hour. I walked into the house and saw through the window they were having a chicken fight with their girls on their shoulders in the pool.
Normally, I would have told them to cut the horseplay in the pool, but I wasn’t motivated to tell them anything. I went to my room and changed clothes. I decided that if my kids weren’t going to miss me, I’d head out for some lunch. I had a taste for sushi, and it would be fairly healthy if I ordered a chirashi bowl and controlled my rice intake.
I went to my usual sushi joint and was seated in a back corner. I ordered the chirashi bowl and a San Pellegrino and pulled out my phone. It didn’t take long for one of my sons to text me asking me to let them in the house. I guess when one of the girlfriends had to pee, I was worth talking with.
I ignored the text and the ten others to follow until my wife called.
“Yes?” I answered.
“Where are you, Ben? The boys are trying to get into the house.”
“I’m having lunch. I didn’t realize the boys were at the house. It’s all locked up.”
“What are you talking about? They said they saw you when they got to your house.”
“They saw me?” I asked. “Did they talk to me? Maybe, they were seeing things?”
“What are you talking about? This is your day for visitation.”
“Oh,” I asked feigning surprise. “You say it’s my day for visitation? Why would they bring their girlfriends then?”
“What?” she shrieked.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what’s going on. They used my visitation day to have a pool party with their girlfriends. Your children barely acknowledged me when they walked past me. Like I said before, they already lost me. Thanks for divorcing me. I hope you rot in hell.”
“Wow, that was harsh,” came a voice from in front of me.
I looked up and it was Flora.
“What are you doing here?” I asked dumbly. I should have known choosing a place to eat near the health club was a bad idea. She must have seen my car from the street.
“Having lunch, Silly,” she chirped. Then she turned serious. “Are you okay, Ben?”
“Honestly, Flora, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.”
She sat down and frowned. “Why are you so negative all the time? You’re doing so well.”
“Look at me, Flora. I’m Peter fucking Griffin.”
She laughed and said, “Do you know what I like?”
I took a sip of my miso soup and shook my head.
“I like animals. They’re like little people except furry.” She laughed and I was lost. What was she talking about?
“Oh, my God! Ben, it’s from Family Guy. You called yourself Peter Griffin and I figured you knew the show.”
“Apparently, not as well as you.”
She smiled, “Ben, why are you so hard on yourself? You’re making all the right life choices and you’re going to be fine. You should be happy with your progress.”
“Look, Flora. You have no idea what’s going on with me.”
“Then tell me. Aren’t we friends?”
I sighed. “My wife divorced me. My kids hate me. I’m a loser.”
She groaned, “You’re not a loser.” Then she got mad, “Damn it, Ben. What the hell happened to make you hate yourself so much?”
The waiter came over and took her order. She ordered enough food to feed a high school football team.
“Don’t you worry about the excess carbs?” I asked, cringing at the amount of rice that was coming.
“Yeah, but this is a special occasion.”
“Oh? What’s that?” I asked.
“Our first date.”
I spit my water out and said, “What?”
“Oh, come on, Ben. I’ve been flirting with you pretty hard since the first time I met you. Are you blind or something?”
I shook my head. “No. I just couldn’t figure out what was happening. I just thought you were being nice.”
She laughed. “No, dummy. I like you.”
“Why? What the hell do you see in me?”
She took a deep breath and said, “I knew the first time I met you that you and I were meant to be together.”
I laughed and said, “How in the hell did you figure that?”
The waiter came and put her rolls and nigiri on the table.
“You’re going to laugh, but you look like my brother John. You look exactly like him and even have the same personality.”
I snickered, “Flora, I’m more than ten years older than you.”
She nodded. “John would have been 45 this year.”
“Would have been?”
She nodded. “He’s why I work at the health club. I was a CPA, but I quit. I’m working towards my personal training and nutritionist certifications now.”
“I don’t understand?”
“John died last year,” she said as a tear fell down her cheek.
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, “He did it to himself.”
“How?” I asked, afraid of the answer.
“He had a heart attack. He ignored everyone warning him to get healthier, including his doctors. I vowed I would help people get healthy for the rest of my life.”
I shook my head. “I see. I’m the fatty that you’re going use to soothe your broken heart.”
I wasn’t prepared for the smack that burned my cheek.
“Don’t you ever talk about yourself that way again,” she shrieked.
Our waiter walked over and said, “Is everything okay?”
“No,” she snapped. “My date doesn’t have a refill of his water.”
I wanted to laugh as he rushed away, but I was so shocked at what was happening, I had no idea what was actually happening.
“Ben, I made you my personal project, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that. I’m not a trainer yet, and I didn’t want to get in trouble, but I’m so desperate to help you, it hits me in the soul.”
“Why? I’m not…”
“You are, Ben. You are special.”
“So, I remind you of your brother. That’s no reason to help me.”
She paled, but said, “Ben, just let me help you. You won’t regret it.”
“Look, Flora. I’m still married for a few more months and to be brutally honest–I still love my wife, even if she doesn’t love me anymore. I’m not looking to start dating anyone. I’m flattered though.”
She took my hand and said, “I can wait until you’re ready. Please, let me help you get healthy in the meantime.”
I reluctantly agreed. It wouldn’t hurt to take advantage of free personal training, but I didn’t think a relationship between us would ever work. She was younger, too attractive, and the worst part was she only liked me because I looked like her brother. That creeped me out.
*****
I pulled into my driveway and saw that my kids were still at my house. I hoped they didn’t pee in the pool.
I went through the house and opened the sliding door leading to the deck.
“It’s about time!” Liam shouted as he and his girlfriend ran past me into the house.
I looked at Pete and his girlfriend and said, “Get your stuff and head out. You’ve lost your pool privileges.”
“Come on, Dad!” he whined. “Don’t be a dick.”
“You think I’m being a dick?”
“Yeah! You can’t…”
“Stop. Go to your car and grab the plastic folder in the glove box. It’s red and has the State Farm logo on it.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so, damn it. Get it now.”
I shook my head as he grumbled away. The boys shared my old car. They didn’t like that, but I didn’t care. Until they had jobs, they didn’t get to have their own cars. It was one thing that Cheryl and I agreed on.
Pete walked up and handed me the small folder. I pulled out the registration card and handed it to him.
“Whose name is on there?” I asked.
“Yours.”
“Anyone else’s?”
“No,” he answered, and then the light bulb went off. “You can’t take the car away.”
“Continue to disrespect me and I take the car back and sell it. Do you understand?”
“Fine,” he groaned. “Come on, Kim. Let’s go.”
His girlfriend didn’t say anything but if looks could kill, I’d have been dead.
“Hey!” I shouted as he walked away. “Call me a dick again, and I’ll have a belt on your butt so long, you won’t sit for a week.”
“Whatever,” he sighed at my empty threat. I realized I was going to have challenges with him.
Liam and his girlfriend walked out, and I said, “Pack up and go. You lost your pool privileges.”
He laughed at me. He said, “Whatever. If that’s the case, you lost your son privileges.”
I smirked and said, “You’ll regret that.” He laughed again and I shook my head as he walked away.
*****
I looked at the divorce papers and got Cheryl’s address. I ordered an UBER and headed over. I knew it was going to be an issue, but I couldn’t let them think they could talk to me like that, let alone how they treated my visitation day. I didn’t expect to get away without an argument, but I never expected what happened.
The UBER driver dropped me off and I had to walk through the large parking lot to look for the car. As I did, I texted Cheryl that I was taking the car and why. You’d have thought I kicked a beehive. In seconds, I had three angry people running through the parking lot towards me screaming obscenities. I couldn’t believe the language they used.
Cheryl actually pushed me and started yelling at me. She bitched; I couldn’t do that. I was overreacting. They were sorry. Don’t take the divorce out on them. Blah, blah, blah.
I ignored their yelling and found the car. As I was opening the door with my spare key, a police officer pulled up. I was told my darling son called 911 and reported me stealing his car.
When the police officer walked up, she looked at my family and recognized it was a domestic situation and eased up. Another cruiser pulled in and that officer started talking to my family.
“Hi, Officer,” I said holding my hands in front of me.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“I’m taking my car away from my ungrateful children.”
She nodded. “Do you have the registration, and can I see your license?”
“Sure. I have to get the registration from the glove box, okay?”
“Go ahead.”
I looked at my wife and kids animatedly telling the officer how much of an asshole I was. I wondered if he had kids and would understand why I was doing what I was doing.
I gave the officer my papers and she verified them and handed them back.
“Better head out before more trouble brews. We’ll give your son a lecture for false reporting, but he won’t be in any trouble.”
“Thanks, Officer. He’s a good kid.”
She smiled and said, “I’m sure. Kids will be kids, right?” We laughed.
I could hear the screaming as I started the car and pulled away. I felt bad for the police officers having to listen to their tirades.
I was halfway home before my phone rang. “Yes, dear?”
“You son of a bitch!” Cheryl screamed. “I’m going to…”
“Cheryl, shut up for a minute.” Surprisingly, she did, and I continued, “Until they start respecting me and treating me like their father, they don’t get the car. Pete called me a dick, and Liam told me I lost my son privileges. I’m not going to put up with that.”
“I should have been consulted first,” she shouted.
“Nope. It was my car not yours. You let them think they could have a pool party instead of visiting with me, and that’s not acceptable either. If we have a couple nice visitations, we can revisit this conversation. Bye.”
I ended the call and turned my phone off. She never even mentioned my weight loss. Bitch.
*****
The next morning, I went out to breakfast. I had a veggie omelet made with egg whites and no cheese. With hot sauce slathered on it I had to admit it was good. It was tough eating out because I couldn’t measure portions. I could eat the two pieces of wheat toast and that was fine, but I had no idea how many egg whites were in the omelet or how much of the hash browns were one cup. I had to learn how to estimate.
It was another emotional night; I almost threw my progress away and opened a bottle of whisky. I had it in my hand and was ready to twist the cap, but I thought of Flora and how disappointed she would be if I gave up.
I couldn’t let the loss of my children get to me. I already expected I’d have a tough time with them, I didn’t expect it would be that bad though.
When your children are young and you’re holding them in your arms as they sleep, you promise the world to them. You tell them they can be whatever they want. Go wherever they want to go. You tell them that they will meet a wonderful partner and fall madly in love. You tell them you’ll do anything for them at any time. You tell them you’ll gladly give your life for theirs.
You don’t think that they will grow up and be snotty brats. That’s other kids, not yours. Yours will be perfect. Your kids will be the ones who do wonderful things. The ones who will write hit songs, be professional athletes, be the president. Or they will just be happy.
But then something goes wrong somewhere down the line. It happens so gradually you don’t even notice. It’s okay when they stop playing sports. It doesn’t matter when they give up on learning piano. It eventually doesn’t matter when they don’t do anything except play video games and watch YouTube. It happens so slowly; you don’t realize it until it’s too late.
It’s a hard pill to swallow when you realize that you became the parent you prayed you’d never become.
When you look back at your life, you think the years went by so quickly, but they didn’t. Every hour, every day, every month went by so slowly while you’re in the moment. You’re invincible. Diabetes and heart disease only happens to old people. It was always I’ll eat that double cheeseburger and start a diet tomorrow. I’ll only have a couple of drinks, but then you’re on your third shot. I’ll change my life on New Year’s Day, but by the Fifth of January, you’re making excuses. Life is a cruel joke that no one finds funny.
Then finally, your wife leaves you, your kids hate you, and you want to end it all, but you don’t have the guts.
*****
I worked on the sly with Flora starting the next Tuesday. We had to keep it secret, so she didn’t get in trouble because she wasn’t certified yet. She knew way more than I did, so she gave me a series of exercises to do each day. Let me tell you, they were rough.
I still walked on the treadmill, but only as a warm-up. I started working muscles that were so dormant, they creaked when I used them. I thought I was as sore as I could be after the first few times I walked, but I was a blob of a mess after Flora’s first workout. I had to call in sick to work that day.
She laughed when I complained and she said, “No pain, no gain, buddy.”
I promised to extract vengeance on her and that only made her laugh harder.
My kids texted everyday begging for forgiveness. Of course, I didn’t believe a word of it. The desperation for the car was overriding their dislike of me. They were temporarily sane. It became funny when they started blaming their mother for turning them against me. I thought that was a nice touch, but I didn’t budge.
As we came up on the one-month anniversary of my lifestyle changes, I was down twenty-five pounds. I decided to stop looking like a slob and began to shave every day again. I started wearing my older shirts that were a size smaller, and I got a haircut. It amazed me how good it felt to take care of my appearance again.
I was still far too overweight at 340 pounds, but people were noticing, and the positive attention felt good. I hadn’t wanted a drink since that night after I took my kids’ car, and I was proud of that. I wasn’t tempted to cheat on my diet, and I was eating even healthier than at the start of my journey.
Cheryl had to drop the boys off at the house for our next visitation. To say it upset her was an understatement. I met the car in the driveway and asked her if we could talk. She grumbled but agreed.
“Cheryl, I’m doing well on my lifestyle changes.”
“Oh?” she acted surprised. I couldn’t believe she didn’t notice my weight loss, haircut, or clean-shaven face.
“Can we talk about getting back together. I still love…”
“I’m seeing someone,” she said cutting me off and cutting my heart out.
I was shocked. I looked at her confused and she looked away.
“Well, I guess that’s it then. Goodbye.” I forced a smile which was more of a grimace and walked back to the house.
I sat on the cushion in my bay window and noticed she hadn’t pulled out of the driveway. It looked like she was crying. A lone tear fell down my cheek as she looked towards the house and made eye contact with me. There was no reaction on her face as she put the car in reverse and backed away.
“Dad?” Pete asked, startling me.
I wiped my cheek and smiled, “What’s up?”
“What’s the matter?” he asked as he sat on the ledge beside me.
“I hoped your mom would give me another chance, but she said she’s seeing someone.”
He looked up and saw his brother walk into the room. He frowned and said, “His name is Alan. We thought they were only friends until we moved. As soon as that happened, she started kissing him hello and goodbye.”
I shook my head.
“I don’t think she cheated on you,” he added quickly.
“It doesn’t matter, Son. I…”
“You’re not going to stop working out, are you?” Liam asked.
I laughed, “No, I’m not going to stop. I’ve got a different motivation now.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocked and texted Flora, “Want to have lunch with my kids?”
“I’d love to.” Was her quick response with smiley face emojis.
We exchanged details and I looked at my kids.
“Look, guys. I know things were pretty bad for a while. Can we call a truce and start over? You might not think so, but I love you and miss you badly.”
They looked at each other and back to me. “Sure, Dad,” Liam said with Pete nodding agreement.
I smiled. “Thank you. We’d better get moving. We’re having lunch with a friend of mine.”
*****
We walked into the restaurant and Flora waved from a table across the room.
“Holy crap!” Liam shouted.
Pete added, “When you said a friend, we thought you meant some guy. Not a hottie.”
I laughed and said, “Yeah, she’s cute, isn’t she?”
I made the introductions and Flora said, “I was able to get an extended lunch, so we have plenty of time.”
Liam and Pete looked at her as if she were a steak and they were starving.
“Great,” I said. My kids were still in shocked silence, and I laughed. “Down, boys.”
Flora laughed at their embarrassment.
“Boys, Flora is helping me with my weight loss. Much of my progress is due to her.”
They nodded wordlessly, making me and Flora laugh again.
“Guys, I wanted you to meet her because now that your mom and I won’t be getting back together,” Flora’s eyes went wide, “I’m going to be seeing a lot more of Flora, outside of the health club.”
She smiled, and her expression reminded me of a wolf licking its lips seeing a sheep.
“You guys are dating? No way!” Pete rudely interjected.
“Well, technically no,” Flora smirked. “Your dad’s been fighting my interest in him.”
Liam shook his head in shock. “Wow,” he whispered. “He’s an idiot.”
I should have been offended. Yes, I knew that she was out of my league, and I was already afraid of her motivation regarding me, but when I was younger and thinner, I was a decent looking guy.
“Mom’s gonna be pissed,” Liam sighed.
“Good,” Flora and I said in unison, making everyone laugh.
Liam surprised me by taking a selfie with us in the background. I was more surprised when he put in on Instagram.
“You’re gonna start trouble, aren’t you?” Flora asked.
Liam smiled and looked at Pete.
“We don’t like mom’s boyfriend. He thinks his shit…sorry, he thinks he’s better than everybody. When mom sees you, she’s gonna lose her mind.”
“Hey, I gave her a chance today,” I said which made Flora glare at me. I shook my head and mouthed, “Later.”
She frowned and ate a piece of chicken with anger smoldering in her eyes. “Better look out for that temper,” I thought.
“Okay. Just remember that I may have the most blame, your mom could’ve tried harder to stay married.” I didn’t believe she ever would have. I never gave her a reason. For a moment, I felt bad and was going to correct that statement, but Liam broke my thoughts.
“Dad, you didn’t know Flora before you and mom split, did you?”
“No.” Flora snorted. “Your father is not a cheater.”
Liam laughed, “Easy, tigress. We’re starting to see that Mom may have been cheating on him, so we were just making sure.”
Tigress? My sons were too big for their britches sometimes.
“Son,” I sighed, “don’t go making assumptions. There’re things you don’t understand, so just don’t think your mom is a bad person. Relationships are complicated–and watch your tone with Flora.”
“Okay,” he groaned.
“Boys, our marriage isn’t any of your business. Yes, it impacted you and I get that, but our marriage problems were between me and your mother and will stay that way. Got it?”
They nodded. I didn’t want to talk about it any longer, but I didn’t want them to hate their mother either.
After lunch, I walked Flora back to her car and she said, “Does this mean you’re willing to date me now?”
“Yeah,” I smiled. “I suppose I could do worse.”
She slapped my shoulder and said, “I know you think I have some sort of fixation on you because you look like my brother. You’ll see that I like you, and you’ll see that I’m not weird.”
I laughed and said, “Okay. My kids are going home tomorrow, and I’ll be back by six. Do you want to get some dinner?”
“I’d like that,” she said and kissed my cheek. “I’ll text you tonight.”
“Sounds good.”
I leaned down to kiss her cheek, but she turned, and my lips found hers. She moaned when I didn’t back away and ratcheted it up a notch. I broke the sweet tasting kiss shortly after though as my kids were likely watching.
“That was nice, Ben.”
I smiled and said, “See you tomorrow.”
*****
After a dinner where my boys and I hashed out our issues, I said, “Pete, grab Monopoly and let’s all play.”
Pete smirked and ran off to get the game. My kids were Monopoly aces, and we’d spend many a night shuffling around the board as a family. Even Chery enjoyed the game nights.
During dinner, we talked about our issues. They were mostly caused by me, but they understood that they needed to not let things bother them to the point where they became someone they weren’t. They were good kids, and they needed to handle their issues better.
There were apologies all around, and a bunch of forgiveness was served up as a side dish. It was better than the smothered baked potatoes.
“Ready to get your butt kicked, Dad?” Pete said as he set the game on the table.
“No way, kiddo. You’re in trouble tonight,” I said as I passed out the money.
Liam grabbed the car token and said, “Hey, Dad? How about if I win, we get the car back?”
“Boys, I’m gonna give you the car back.”
“Yes!” they exclaimed as they high fived.
“Wait!” I added and continued, “You need to understand that it’s a privilege to have the car, not a right. It’s not yours, it’s mine.”
Pete said, “We know. We’re sorry. We were just mad at you for breaking up our family, and for the other stuff. We won’t do it again.”
I frowned, but I did break up our family by being so disconnected from everyone, especially my wife. I knew the other stuff he mentioned was the drinking and general laziness.
The boys ganged up on me and took immense joy in knocking me out of the game first. I raised a couple of ruthless Monopoly players and was proud of them. Watching them circle the board and implement every strategy I taught them made me smile, albeit while being on the receiving end of their viciousness.
We had a family rule for game night, and no one left the table until the game was over. Even if they were out of the game first. It was implemented to reinforce in them that just because the game was over for them, it didn’t mean that family night was over. The entire point was for us to spend time together. It was too bad we didn’t do more family nights.
When Pete landed on Marvin’s Gardens owned by Liam with a hotel, the game was over. Pete tried to squirm and negotiate his way out of it, but my robber baron oldest child merely laughed. As I was the first out, by tradition, I had to clean up the game mess and the boys ran off to play games on their phones.
I sat on the couch, put on a Salma Hayek movie, and texted Flora.
“I am officially bankrupt.”
“What? Oh, no. I’m gonna kick your wife’s ass.”
I laughed and responded, “LOL! No, my boys just kicked my butt in Monopoly.”
“As they should.”
“Ben, when did you think you lost your wife. I mean the first time.”
What a question, I thought.
“Can we talk?”
My phone rang almost immediately.
“Why do you want to know?” I asked without saying hello.
“Oh, Ben. Because love doesn’t die instantly.”
I sighed. “I don’t know exactly for sure. There was one time I slapped her ass. That was our thing. I smacked her butt. But that one time, she didn’t react the same way. Instead of being playful, she was annoyed. I challenged her on it and made her own up to her shitty reaction. Her response was that she thought I was an asshole. Before that, my smacking her butt would be foreplay. I was devastated.”
“I’m so sorry, Ben.”
“Yeah, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“Good night, sweetie. See you tomorrow,” she said.
I set my phone on the table and sighed. I wondered what I was doing. Flora was so far out of my league she may as well have been Salma Hayek.
*****
My son’s Instagram post set off the hornet’s nest I thought it would. Cheryl called me the next morning on fire.
“You said you wanted to try again, and later that day, you’re with your new girlfriend? Fuck you, Ben!”
“Just hold on, ex-wife! You said you were already seeing someone. I’m moving on. I gave you a chance, but you’ve hurt me enough. And by the way? How long have you been seeing Alan?”
There was no response, and then the call ended. I thought that was telling.
Life went on, and Flora worked me into a firm pile of mush. My body was getting smaller, my muscles getting firmer, but I was working to exhaustion.
Flora and I dated, but she refused to have sex with me until my divorce was final. She believed in the sanctity of marriage. It was a big plus in her favor.
On the day my divorce was final, I had lost seventy-two pounds total. I couldn’t have imagined that in less than eight months, I’d have done that, and I was still going.
I was almost in XL shirts, my waist was as thin as it’d been in decades, I was off my medications, and I had Flora on my arm.
I got the mail, and my copy of the recorded final divorce decree was in there. I took a picture and texted it to Flora.
I was on my phone looking for dinner reservations, ten minutes later, when my front door flew open.
Flora stood there in her ubiquitous workout clothes with an animalistic look in her eyes.
“Hey, hon! Did you get my…”
She crossed the room in an instant and planted her mouth onto mine.
Our tongues danced and her hands dropped to my belt. I couldn’t believe how quickly she had my pants and boxer briefs around my ankles.
She took my hard dick in her hand and stroked it, never breaking the kiss.
“Take me to your bedroom, or fuck me right here on your table, but I want this cock in me now!”
“Really?” I teased. “I’m not sure I…”
“I’ve been waiting for this for too long. FUCK ME NOW!”
“Yes, dear.”
I picked her up and carried her to my bedroom. When I set her on the bed, I took my shirt off and gazed into her hungry eyes.
I took her shoes and socks off, then her leggings.
“God, these are sexy!” I said as I slid them down. They were the ones with what looked like stockings sewn in. I loved a woman in stockings.
Her pink thong was darker between her legs where her wetness discolored the fabric. As I pulled them down, she lifted off her shirt and sports bra, freeing her beautiful breasts.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” I said as I leaned in to kiss her.
Her tongue pressed into mine and her hand grabbed my ass, pulling me into her.
“Inside,” she said as she kissed me.
I tried not to laugh at her urgency, but she was acting crazed…in a good way.
She held me until I was pressed into her wet and waiting pussy. I’m no porn star, but she was tighter than I’d ever felt. I didn’t remember Cheryl being that tight when we were virgins. She certainly wasn’t that tight in her forties.
“You feel so good, Ben,” she sighed as I worked my way inside her. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”
“Me too, baby. You’ve got the tightest pussy I’ve ever made love to.”
I embraced her as we kissed, and I thrust myself in and out of her vice grip. Months before, I would have been too large to hold her like that and I had long since been too fat for comfortable missionary with Cheryl.
That thought of Cheryl made me angry, then I thought of her fucking around on me with that Alan asshole and began to pound into Flora with pent up anger.
“Oh, shit! Yes! Yes! Fuck me harder, Ben! Harder, I’m so…Ah!”
She trembled beneath me, as she locked her lips onto mine. Her pussy rippled along my thrusting shaft, pulling my own relief out of me.
“Shit, baby! I’m going to cum.”
“Inside, Ben. I want you to fill me,” she stuttered. “Fill me, love. I love you so much.”
I groaned and pushed as deeply as I could into her, releasing shot after shot of my many months’ worth of potent seed.
“Holy crap, Ben! You’re…”
I silenced her with a kiss, then rolled to her side. She scooted back to the headboard and began fingering her pussy.
“Sorry, sweetie. Didn’t you…”
She cut me off.
“I came really good, Ben. I’m pushing all your leaking goo back inside.”
I laughed and said, “Let me get a washcloth for you. I’m sorry, I’m a bit out of practice. My etiquette will come back to me.”
She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back down.
“Don’t. I don’t want it wiped up; I want it inside. I…”
“You’re not on the pill, are you?” I asked.
She shook her head with a smile.
“I love you, Ben. It’s not the right time of my cycle to get me pregnant, so don’t worry. I just want to pretend you’ve done it.”
I pulled her into my side, and said, “I wouldn’t mind it. I do love you; you know.”
“I love you too, Ben. I always will.”
“You know? I was making dinner reservations before you jumped my bones earlier. I’m not all that hungry now except for you.”
“We haven’t even begun yet, honey. I hope you know I’m spending the night.”
I laughed and said, “I want you to spend every night.”
I rolled over to my nightstand and pulled out a box.
“I was going to do this at dinner, but I suppose this is…sort of romantic.”
I opened the box and she gasped, then nodded her head yes as she started crying.
“I didn’t get to ask yet,” I mock complained.
“I don’t care, I’m saying yes anyway.”
She kissed me and I could feel the wetness of her tears on my cheeks.
I pulled back, took her hand, and slid the ring on.
I said, “Will you love me and let me love you forever, my love. Not to be corny, but you make me better and I’ll need you forever.”
We hugged and she whispered, “Yes.”
“So, you want children, then?” I teased.
“Lots of them.”
“I’m an old man though.”
She kissed me and said, “You’re not old, my love. Just older.”
I rubbed her clit for a few seconds, then pushed my leaking cum from her pussy insider her as she was a moment before.
“Okay,” I said. “But just three.”
She squealed and climbed on top of me. I couldn’t believe I found a way to be happy again.