But Killian…what to do. She was clearly feeling a little awkward about things. Was she not as into it as he’d thought? Every time they’d all been together, she seemed to love it, but now that they’d made it an ongoing thing, she didn’t seem as comfortable. Had he done the wrong thing by suggesting it? Or did she only want it when it was the three of them? Maybe she wasn’t interested in having Logan only. That would be okay, but he found it unlikely. Their chemistry was obvious.
He just needed to talk to Killian.
J: Wanna go to the lake?
K: Of course
J: I’ll head over in a min
He grabbed his things and went to pick up Killian.
His girlfriend, Killian.
Sometimes it still felt hard to believe.
“Where are we going?” Killian asked, when Jack passed the turn they usually took.
“You’ll see.”
He turned half a mile later. They were going to the other side of the lake. They usually didn’t go to that side. Not anymore.
They pulled into the lot. Killian followed Jack down the slightly overgrown path at the back of the parking lot to a special spot that was secluded, right on the edge of the lake.
“Do you remember this place?” he asked her, sitting down on the log that slightly hung over the water.
“Yes.” They hadn’t been there together for a long time. “Are you getting sentimental, Jack?”
“A bit,” he admitted. “I thought about it a lot.”
There were three times in the history of their friendship that they kissed, up until the past couple months of course. One of them—the last time, about two years prior—hadn’t been like the rest. Killian had kissed him. Not for practice. Not to make sure there were no sparks. She did it because she wanted to.
“The last time we were here?” she asked; Jack nodded. “Then or recently?”
“Both,” he said softly. “I thought about it a lot then…kissing you gave me butterflies. I felt something that day, and it really freaked me out. I’m sorry I told you I didn’t.”
“Thanks, Jack,” she sighed. “It was a long time ago. Neither of us were ready for that.”
“You weren’t ready then either?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t know. I wanted you to notice me, maybe. As a real girl.”
“I never told you this, but there was this tiny part of me that hoped you would see me like that one day too.”
“Really?” she asked, not expecting that.
Jack nodded. “I know I shouldn’t have done the things I did with other girls if I really wanted you. But I was really dumb then. Way too dumb for you, Killie,” he said.
“I know,” she stroked his cheek. “Boys are dumb. Luckily, you turned into a good man.”
“I was afraid to come back to this spot with you again after that day,” he admitted.
“I know,” Killian agreed. “Me too.”
“Looking back, I realize you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. It makes me feel like even more of a dick because it’s so obvious to me now. I’m sorry, Kil.”
“I’m not mad at you, Jack. I was never mad about that night either, but it did cross my mind afterwards.”
“What did you think about?”
“Mostly I was embarrassed I kissed you at all. There might have been a little part of me that thought it would be our Disney moment, you know, where you noticed the love of your life was in front of you all along. I was embarrassed for even thinking that. And,” she sighed, “it was the last time I did.”
“At least we got that moment eventually.” He wove his fingers through hers.
“When was it for you?” she asked. “When did you realize it was me?”
“Mm…when I saw how far you could fit my dick down your throat.”
“Jack!” She elbowed him playfully. “Way to ruin the moment.”
“You know I’m kidding, babe,” he grinned. “It was the night after, when you said you wanted to make out as friends,” he rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, that might have been bullshit, in retrospect,” Killian blushed. “I wanted touch you in ways I’d never wanted before.”
“I remember wondering how I could have gone so long without imagining what your body would feel like against mine. How it would feel to make you moan.”
“Me too,” Killian remembered that night well.
“If you hadn’t been a virgin at the time, I absolutely would have tried to fuck you that night.”
“Really?”
“100%” he admitted. “Best friend or not. The way you kept grinding on my cock…you knew exactly what it would make me think about.”
“Destroying my sweet, virgin pussy?” Killian suggested innocently.
“Yep,” he chuckled. “Although I remember thinking I could die happy when you let me stroke your sweet, virgin pussy. I honestly couldn’t believe you’d let me touch you there at all.”
“You were very persistent,” pointed out Killian.
“As a hot 18-year-old virgin, I thought you’d be better at saying no,” he shrugged.
“Not to you apparently.”
“I thought about that night a lot too. I always wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t called you baby that night.” He referred to the abrupt halt their passionate meeting came to.
“Me too,” she agreed. “Sometimes I think we might have actually had sex that night.”
Jack nodded. “It might have been easier that way. Maybe we wouldn’t have tried to push each other away,” he sighed. At least in the end, it had all worked out. “The way it felt when you orgasmed on my finger accompanied many a lonely night with me and my hand.”
“Did you really get off just thinking about fingering me?” Killian asked, sounding surprised.
“Yes. It was the most amazing feeling. It was kind of a head-fuck. You were so off-limits it was practically taboo. Despite joking about needing to get you laid, I would have destroyed anyone that was only interested in taking your virginity. Subconsciously, your pussy was like this sacred, mystical thing that I’d always protected. And then, all of a sudden, you allowed me to touch it. Me.”
“It was kind of a head-fuck for me too. Your finger felt more incredible than anything else I’d ever felt. I was embarrassed I came so fast and so hard when you touched me.”
“I took it as a compliment,” he smirked.
“You are quite talented with your fingers.” Killian fell silent. There was a bittersweet feel to this place; Jack could feel it too. “Is that why I get to fool around with Logan? Because you feel guilty?”
“No,” he said. Thinking about it, he corrected himself, “Maybe 10% guilt.”
“What’s the other 90%?” she asked.
“20% because I was a slut and you were a virgin and it doesn’t seem fair—that’s different than guilt because I don’t feel bad about it, I just want to have a chance to have some fun too.”
“And the rest because?”
“Because we both get off on it,” he said simply.
“I’d be happy with just you, you know that, right?”
“I know, babe,” he kissed her forehead. “Likewise. But I don’t mind giving you an extra good time for a little while.” He wasn’t sure what a little while meant yet. They’d get to that eventually.
“It’s fun.” She snorted, “When it’s not awkward.”
“This week has felt kind of weird, huh?” He looked at her; she nodded. “Weird, like, you want to go back to normal boyfriend-girlfriend stuff, or weird, like, you’re just trying to adjust?”
“I think, the latter,” she pondered. “I feel like my life just got turned into a kinky porno and that’s fucking great but totally unexpected. And yeah, I definitely have felt awkward this week because sometimes I don’t know how to act or what to say. Seeing Logan without telling you felt kind of like cheating.”