Brita and I had just concluded having sex…epic sex…sex good enough for a Scandinavian saga. She and I snuggled enjoying the mellow afterglow of our mutual orgasms.
Brita said softly in my ear, “Drummond, I have something I need to tell you and I don’t want you to be upset when I do. But first…tell me that you love me.”
“Of course I love you, Brita…no matter what! Are you ill? Some terTheal disease? You’ve met someone else? That must be it! You’re going to run away with…someone? You and Thea have decided your prefer sex with each other than having sex with me…and you’re going to leave?”
I threw that last one in to see what kind of a rise I might get out of Brita.
“No…NO!, listen to me you silly man, ” Brita sat up on her haunches, held my hand and said, “Drummond, I’m pregnant! Can you believe it…me…PREGNANT!”
“HOW could that happen? I thought…” I was absolutely shocked, “I thought you couldn’t have children. That’s why we could always have sex with my using a condom or you using anything yourself. HOW?”
Her face was glowing when she said, “I didn’t think I could get pregnant either, after what the doctors told me. But when I missed my period, I thought it might mean early menopause, so I checked with my OB/GYN. He said I was clearly pregnant and whatever inflammation or scarring that might have been there was wither healed or gone. As far as he could see…and believe me he looked…It was going to be a normal pregnancy!”
“Brita? How do you feel about all this?” I could tell from her face, but I wanted her to tell me, “Brita? How do you feel?”
“I feel wonderful, Drummond! I wasn’t sure until the doctor told me but then I cried for joy! This is what I dreamed of with Axel but I am so glad that you are the father, not that asshole!”
She paused for a moment and said, “So Drummond, how do YOU feel about all this? Honestly.”
“This is all such a shock, Brita, ” I was conflicted but I said, “I am absolutely thrilled that you are so happy. Talk about life changing events! You are glowing, Brita, motherhood becomes you.!”
Brita said, “But, Drummond, you still haven’t told me how YOU feel…please?”
“This has knocked me off my pins, Brita. I’m still trying to comprehend what is actually happening,” yes, I was “tap dancing”, so I said, “of course, I’m happy and happier for you, too. WoW! I hope it’s a girl and she is as pretty as her mother. We’re going to need to start think about names. And, well…a nursery, baby furniture, baby clothes, a college fund. We do have a LOT to do!”
“I understand, Drummond that this can hardly have the same impact on you as it did on me. You’d have to be a woman to understand…but I’m glad you’re not…otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place!”
She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the forehead, and said softly, “Drummond, I love you. We are going to be fine…better than fine…because I know you love me, too..
Then Brita sat bolt upright, and went into interrogation mode, “Thea? What do you know about me and Thea? Run away with Thea? What? Down the street and around the corner? Besides, if I were going to run away with Thea just to have sex aga…to have sex, why would I need to run away. She’s got a bedroom; I’ve got a bedroom. And I wouldn’t have sex with her…sex with at all, without you in the mix…I hope you know that!”
I took Brita into my arms, kissed her deeply and murmured in her ear, “Brita, you are going to make a wonderful mother and I’m going to be a #1 dad, you’ll see. I think you, and I, and ‘Auntie’ Thea are all going to have a lot of fun, too!
Confetti for Brita!! More confetti for Auntie Thea!!!
And. of course, lots of Confetti for me, too, I’m the Confetti Man, don’t you know?!!!