Instinctively we kissed and touched, which led to more. Much more. But this was not like any sex I had ever had before. Lost in the erotic haze of sex with someone special, we didn’t make it out of Paul’s room until noon. And it’s a good thing it was Saturday, or we would have missed classes. I could afford to do so, but Paul couldn’t as he was having problems with an elective he had left for senior year. Oh, forget that.
Yes. The sex had been fantastic. What happens when you have sex with someone you are falling in love with. And I was… if I wasn’t already. There was no denying it. My feelings for Paul were off the chart, purely emotional and not as just a friend. I had lost my sense of logic, mind, and heart to this young man in a way I never thought possible.
When I was with Paul, time seemed to stand still, and I just listened to him talk or relished him observing me attentively as I did. The sound of his voice soothed me. His scent set off arousal that I could not resist. Without thinking, I shoved him back and mounted him. Once his manhood was in me, I rode Paul slowly and deliberately. This was not sex. As I rocked up and down on him, I stared into his eyes and he into mine. And for the first time ever, I knew we were making love.
“Take me, Paul,” I whispered. “All of me.”
His hands came up to encircle my body, and we kissed and kissed again as our bodies rhythmically began to work together. When I came from his thrusts, it felt so good I cried. And when Paul finally heaved up one last time, I saw it in his face. We both knew.
“I love you,” he said, and I melted into his arms.
“Paul, do you mean it?” I asked, gazing into his eyes. And as he smiled and nodded, I showered his face with a thousand kisses, and my tears flowed again. “I love you too.”
We held each other tenderly and must have said those three words to each other again and again like idiots. I didn’t know if he had ever told them to anyone else. Nor did I care. All that mattered was that he had said so to me. And for the first time in my life, I knew I was in love and had declared my love to someone who loved me back. It was intoxicating.
“Paula, I have to tell you something,” Paul said. “I ended it. The thing with Lyn is over.”
Her name was Lyn? Strange that the first time I heard her name out of his mouth was after he told me he loved me and that he and Bamby-Lyn were over.
“Over? I’m sorry,” I lied, as inside, I was giddy and wanted to cheer. “What happened?”
“What happened?” he scoffed, shaking his head. “YOU happened. WE happened.”
I stared into his eyes, too scared to speak. What was wrong with me? I was mesmerized by Paul.
“You stole my heart Paula.”
Yet the truth was, Paul had stolen mine.
***
Living on an island on pineaples and love
What happened next was like a dream. The life I knew and had was turned upside down as I was wooed and romanced by Paul. The remaining part of my second semester was spent exclusively with him. Gone were my party outings, multiple men, and wild sexual escapades. My mind was focused on one man: a senior who was about to graduate, with me still having two years to go in UF Gainsville.
We were so in love. I no longer thought as I, as an individual by this point. Instead, I thought of Paul and I together as… us! What would WE do that day? What would WE eat for dinner? Where would WE sleep that night? It was something totally new to me. A surrender of self and the embracing of us as a unit. A couple.
Not in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever find myself in this position. Me. Paula… with a boyfriend… in love. Yet, here I was. It was inevitable, I guess. Human nature and basic instincts drive people to mate with someone they find both attractive and appealing as a person. I didn’t think of it then. To be honest, I wasn’t doing much thinking at the time. But Paul had all the traits of a suitable mate.
We don’t think of that when we pick them, but something about some people’s looks and behavior patterns makes us think they would make good parents for our children. And other than good healthy genes, kids need stability in their homes. To that point, most guys I had dealings with were either immature, much older, or simply there for sex. Yet, somewhere in the back of my mind, I saw in Paul the makings of a good husband and father of my future children. And having had the fun and carefree sex, finding who I thought to be Mr. Right was inevitable for me.
Once we admitted we were in love with each other, everything else was inevitable as well. Engagement, moving in together and planning our future. Paul took a job at the Gainsville Sun, the local paper, and we went on to start a life on his small beginner salary. The plan was for me to finish college and for Paul to get experience in his craft in the next two years. Plans… fate laughs at those.
***
My parents were shocked when I took Paul to meet them. Dad thought Paul was a nice guy, and the two seemed to click. Mom liked him as well.
“He is handsome and seems to love you. Do you love him Paula?”
“Mom, I can’t believe it myself. But I am totally taken by Paul.”
“Not what I asked,” my mother said, gazing into my eyes. “I asked if you loved him.”
I went to respond, but mom stopped me.
“Anyone can say those words, Paula,” mom continued with a soft voice so the men in the playroom could not hear us. “I used to say it all the time and never really understood the whole meaning of it.”
I stared back, not sure what mom was about to say. She and dad had reconciled after their separation. It had happened right before I met Paul, but I wasn’t sure of the how and why of their coming back together.
“You see, I was in love with your dad at first, then I just loved him but was tempted by others. I saw your father as my possession and felt secure that nothing would happen if I cheated on him and returned. Yet when I found out he had cheated on me after my first affair, I got angry, and things went to hell between us.”
“Mom I….”
“Just listen,” she said with a slight smile. “Your dad and I never had the fun you had before you met Paul. We ended up doing it while married and almost lost each other in the process. But last winter, I came to terms with something I never had before.”
She paused for effect with a slight smile.
“I didn’t give a shit about who your dad had fucked, was fucking, or who else other than me he would fuck in the future. All that mattered was that I loved him and had to have him in my life. And when he and I talked, he felt the same.
“We had talked with Marisol and Garry about it. You know, about how they live and how they have a somewhat oven marriage?”
“Somewhat?” I asked, wondering what she meant.
“Paula, there have to be rules and agreements between two people with open marriages. If not, you might as well be single. Marisol and Garry have a rule that your father and I have agreed on. No lies, no deception, and never doing someone the other finds objectionable.”
“I’m glad, but you were talking about love; what did you mean, and how does it all tie together?”