“Weddings?” I asked, rhetorically.
Mom was shaking her head. “Nuh uh. This is more important.” Then Mom saw it. The same thing that stunned me the first time I saw it. It caught her breath for a moment before she took a step back and finally looked up to Bernie’s face. She was smiling. “Tsk, tsk. You remind me so much of your father.”
“Mom!” I screamed.
“What, honey? And just look at you. Oh boy, do I remember when my breasts looked that good. I should show you what you’re in for later in life!”
“No thanks!” I held my hands up. “Seeing one family member naked is enough for me today, thank you.” Bernie laughed behind me.
“Oh, people are arriving!” Mom shouted after hearing car doors close outside. “I’ll go greet them. And I’ll get Dad up, too. We’ll meet you in the dining room. You guys get to do all the work now, but don’t worry. The rest of the day, you are getting spoiled. That’s why this day’s so special!” Mom pranced off, happy to bask in our embarrassment.
**
I probably should have practiced more on my cooking skills before today. We started with two packages of bacon and then the eggs. Most of the bacon was sadly limp and the eggs were overcooked. Bernie and I somehow managed to get through it all without being too challenged while sharing the space. We were too busy with the food to worry about our state of undress. I wondered if perhaps that’s why the day’s tradition starts with this. Keeps one occupied, while getting accustomed to the nudity over time.
“It’s delicious!” Miss Julia lied about two minutes into the meal. She’s Mr. Mason’s wife and I don’t even know his first name. He was seated to the left of her at the end of the big table. Their two kids, Bonnie and Wendy, sat with our cousins Vic and Pam at the smaller table. Berns sat to the right of Miss Julia, while Gran, Mom, Dad and I sat on the opposite side. I couldn’t help but notice how often Miss Julia checked out my brother’s package while sitting next to him. I don’t blame her. It’s like you have to look at it to keep reaffirming that it’s real.
On the other hand, Mr. Mason kept eyeballing me. He complimented my butt three times before I sat down to eat. “How often do you work out?” “How many squats can you do?” On and on with bullshit questions. Gran eventually shut him up by complimenting my tits instead. “Those are just lovely.” “You’re going to drive men wild with that perfect pair.” On and on with things like that. That’s when I noticed Bernie was struggling.
We were about halfway done with the meal. Bernie was beet red and fidgeting, looking to the table, then the wall, then the ceiling. Then repeating the whole routine. Miss Mason kept checking out his junk and she wasn’t even trying to make it look inconspicuous, but with Gran focusing all the attention to my breasts, no one noticed Bernie’s discomfort but me. As I tried to respond to one of Gran’s quips about my gravity-defying tits, Bernie jerked his chair back, causing it to screech against the floor.
“Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom,” he yelled as he bolted out of the room at lightning speed. It was only when he turned the corner that I saw why he did. His boner was bouncing erratically as he ran.
Twenty minutes later, we were seeing the Masons and the others off, having finished out breakfast. Bernie had yet to come out of the bathroom, but he claimed it was an emergency. “I’ll see them at the picnic!” he shouted. The cousins promised to be there and the Masons congratulated me on my big day.
“Tell your big brother if we don’t see you at the picnic, we’ll swing by Ernesto’s tonight,” said Miss Julia. Ernesto’s is the fancy restaurant where we’re finishing off the party.
“Okay, Miss Julia. Thanks for coming to our breakfast.”
“Ah, yes,” said Mr. Mason. “I cannot wait to see you again!”
I turned around and rolled my eyes with my back to him. “I’m going to check on Bernie. It was great seeing all of you!” I waved as I made my way down the hall. I could hear Mr. Mason mentioning something about my butt again, but I didn’t catch all of it.
**
Bernie and I were in my bedroom about an hour later. I was sitting on one side of the bed and he the other, facing away from each other. We were both still starkers. “Oh my god, Beebs. She wouldn’t stop fucking staring!” I kind of understood the woman’s predicament, but I didn’t say anything. “And Beebs… I, uh… I had a hard-on.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“What? You knew?!?”
“Well, I happened to catch a glimpse of it when you left the table.”
“Oh. Well, Miss Mason wouldn’t stop looking at it! And you!”
“Me?”
Bernie stammered. “I mean… you know… the reason I had my boner!” Bernie’s discomfort happened when Gran had focused all the attention to my tits. Now it hit me. “Beebs, if I go to that picnic and this occurs again, I’m going to be a fucking joke. You know my friends are going to post pictures all over their social if that happens!”
“Come on, Berns. It’s not that big a deal.”
“You know that’s bullshit.”
He wasn’t wrong. We might be officially adults, but we’re still young enough to tease each other like relentless teenagers. Bernie’s friends would be vicious if he got an erection while doing Nude Day with his sister. I tried to come up with a solution. “Hey, uh, maybe…” I struggled broaching the subject. Keep in mind, years of a conservative upbringing. “Um… do you think maybe it would help if you got off before going to the picnic?”
There was a pause, but Bernie responded, “Yeah. Maybe.” He didn’t sound confident.
“It certainly can’t hurt, right? I mean, you remember my ex, right? Whenever he orgasmed, it took hours for him to get hard again.” I felt filthy saying such candid things to my brother. It also got me wet.
Bernie was quiet for a moment. “Like I said, maybe. I dunno, Beebs. It might work. You’re right. Can’t hurt to try.”
“And we can still try to avoid each other while at the picnic.”
“Right,” said Bernie. The timbre in his voice did not match the verbal affirmation. I felt like I needed to reassure him more.
“Hey, if it helps…”
“Yeah?”
“I know it’s not as obvious with girls, but I’m in the same boat. Being the only one naked around others… I think it arouses me, Berns. It’s gross, but I get… excited.”
“Really?”
I nodded, not knowing whether he could see me doing it. I still faced away from him. I continued telling my truth. “And uh, Bernie… you, too.”
“Me, what?”
“I, uh, wasn’t going to say this, but when I saw Miss Julia checking you out. Like over and over. She was so drawn to you. I guess I found it kind of hot. Seeing her get all lusty-eyed over you.”
“Really?”
I giggled. It was more from nerves than humor. “Yeah, really. Not sure I ever expected to get horny, but I understand, bro.”
“You’re lucky you don’t have a penis. I’m announcing it to the world.”
“We have an hour before we leave for the park. Let’s do it. Maybe it will help.”
“Alright,” shrugged Bernie. I felt his weight lift off the bed.
“No, wait!” I shouted, turning. He turned too and once again I got to see everything. Fucking hell, I never knew something that could best be described as “fascinating” could also get you horny. I badly wanted to touch it. I slowly stepped forward, practically whispering. “Let me. Let me stroke it.”