“I took a trip. I went and bought you some presents.”
“For me? Presents? Where? What’d you get me?” He thought she looked like a child at her birthday party, that same kind of eagerness.
He held up the plastic bag. “It occurred to me that I may not always be around when you get in the mood.”
“What do you mean? Show me.”
“This wound up costing me more than I’d thought it was going to, but consider it an experiment.” He upended the bag over the bed and the contents spilled out onto the duvet.
She stared. In a quiet voice, she said, “Oh. My. God.”
“Like I said, Emma, it’s an experiment, maybe you won’t like all of them, but some of them could be fun. I wasn’t sure. Do you have any of your own?”
She shook her head. “My mother is like the world’s greatest detective. In her own mind, that is. I always called it nosiness. It’s why I never kept a diary, even when I was ten. She’d have been looking through it, checking for anything that was inappropriate. Periodically, she’d even go through my closet and my dresser, ostensibly to find old clothes that had to be retired.”
“So no dildos, no vibrators?”
“Uh-uh. My girlfriends had them, so I’ve seen them, but it’s not the kind of thing you share with your friends. This one looks like something from Cape Canaveral.” She picked up the plastic display package.
“Yeah, I actually had a long conversation with the saleswoman” — Emma’s head shot up suspiciously — “who was a very pleasant, middle-aged lady who knew a lot about women’s bodies, so these are mostly her suggestions. That one you’re holding is like the one they call The Rabbit. It has a main shaft that vibrates and rotates, and the tip twists, and the smaller extension hits your clit and has its own vibrator. She says it’s one of her favorites.
“The long, silver one is just a vibrator, usually used on your clit if you don’t want something big inside. It has a bunch of different vibration patterns.
“Oh, and this one? This is like the mother of all vibrators, the Magic Wand. If a woman has never had an orgasm, this will get her off, guaranteed. You’ll be shouting hallelujah.
“This pink one that looks like an alien dick, well, it’s a vibrator that you push in and out yourself. Some women prefer them, she said, better control, but make up your own mind.
“This one here — well, I didn’t see it working, but she says it vibrates and has a kind of sinusoidal motion than makes it feel like it’s moving inside you. I thought it might be too big, but she said to use some lube and it goes right in and you get right off.”
She swallowed. “That one looks even bigger than you. And it’s got that big mushroom head. It might be a tight fit. And these? They don’t look like dildos.”
“Umm, no, they’re not. You’ll have to make up your own mind about these. They’re butt plugs. They come in different sizes. These are small, to start with. This one here is just a plain, no-frills plastic butt plug that you lube up and it slides into your ass. It has that bulbous tip so it doesn’t accidentally slip out of your butt. You have to intentionally pull it out. And it’s got that flange at the end so it doesn’t go too far into your butt. It’s very similar to the one your great-aunt Tilly used.” She stuck her tongue out at him.
“This one,” he said, picking it up, “is the same thing, a butt plug, but it has a vibrator built in — that’s the little switch on the end. I’m told by the experts that once you flick that on you can achieve orbit easily.”
She paused, taking it all in, then gulped. “And that one?” she said, pointing to a plain cardboard box.
“That’s for another time, after you get used to these. A special surprise.”
She picked up the bottle. “You got more lube, too?”
“Yeah. Just in case you run out.”
“I’m… This is a little scary, Ken. These look so… industrial. They’re phallic, but all those buttons and appendages…”
“I’ll bet half the women in America have a couple of these hidden in their closet or underwear drawer. They’re tools, with a single purpose — to get women off. A lot of women, you must know this, a lot of women have a difficult time cumming from a guy’s dick inside them. And most guys don’t really spend a lot of time on foreplay, oral sex, caressing, those kinds of things. So for most women, if they want an orgasm, they use a tool designed for the purpose. Like these.
“I dunno, maybe you won’t like them at all, and we’ll have to sell them at our next garage sale.”
She looked shocked, then realized he was making a joke to lighten the mood.
“So, do these plug in to the wall outlet or what?”
“Oh, right, I forgot. Here.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handful of batteries. “These should work. I stopped at a dollar store on the way back and bought a bunch. The Magic Wand plugs in to the wall, though.”
She looked overwhelmed. “I don’t know why I’m feeling so embarrassed. All the stuff we’ve done since yesterday. This feels like a different thing, these kinds of toys. Maybe because they’re intended just for my use. You’re like an afterthought.”
“Actually, I think it’d be really hot to watch you play with some of these. I’d probably wind up cumming on the rug. That’s not a conversation I’d like to have with the housekeeping staff. Though now that I think about it, it must have happened many times before, given the number of newlyweds who stay here.”
She smiled at that, agreeing with him. “I don’t know where to start,” she said quietly.
“Yeah, it does seem overwhelming. Maybe I overdid it. But I kept imagining you playing with this one or that one, and that image was so hot that I had to add just one more to the mix. I think the saleslady would suggest starting with something simple, see how it feels. Maybe that pink one, and the silver vibrator. Fewer buttons and appendages.”
She nodded, not yet sure. She looked up at him. “Now?”
“Only if you’re in the mood. There’s a lot here. Take your time with it.”
She looked at the pile, trying to make a decision. “Okay,” she said. “We’ve got a couple of hours till we have to think about dinner.” She stood up. She pulled her top over her head and started to unbutton her shorts.
“These two?” he asked. “They’re the ones you want to start with?” She nodded as she unhooked her bra.
He pulled the packaging apart, distracted by the sight of her approaching full nudity. Damn, she was sexy. He opened the pink dildo and dropped in the correct batteries. He unscrewed the end of the silver vibrator and added two AA batteries after checking the polarity. He tossed the two items up near the pillow and gathered up the remainder and returned them to the plastic bag.
She lay on the bed, finding a comfortable position, and picked up the silver vibrator, fiddling with the button until it started to hum. She pressed it again to turn it off, but instead it vibrated with a different pattern. She did that a number of times, each time getting a new pattern.
Tentatively, she held it over her clit, then lowered it. She jumped when it touched. “Wow. That gets your attention fast.” She rolled it over her clit and closed her eyes. After a minute she said softly, “Oh, Jesus.”