To the grammar police, keep me on my toes, I’m trying to get better at proofreading.
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch
Given a choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile! Dr. Seuss
Drew hit Tess’s number on his speed dial. He was ten minutes away from home. He hadn’t seen her a week and was wondering if he should have spent more time in Austin cooling off a bit. He wanted to deal with her betrayal directly and with honesty, but he didn’t want to go nuclear on her when they talked.
She picked up on the first ring. “Hello Drew”
“Tess, I’m about ten minutes from the house. I’d like to come by and pick up some clean clothes if that is alright.”
“Of course, but this is your home, you should stay here. Do you want me to find somewhere else to go?”
“No, I’m sure the baby is comfortable where he is, and I’ve been driving for two days. I’d like to get a good night’s sleep, then go by the shop and check the boys in the morning. Maybe we could meet at noon.” His tone was flat, he shared nothing of his emotions.
“OK, do you want me to make something for you for dinner?”
“No, but I would appreciate it if you could pack some clothes in my gym bag and toss it on the porch. That way I won’t have to come in.”
“Is it that bad Drew, that you can’t abide the sight of me?”
“Tess, I’ve always been honest with you, and I always will be, so the answer to your question is, yes, it is that bad. I cannot trust what I might say to you after driving almost 900 miles and being emotionally and physically exhausted.”
“Your bag will be on the porch in five minutes” she replied softly.
“Thanks. Do you think your mom could take the baby out while we talk tomorrow? A couple hours should work. What is his name by the way?”
“Yes, mom can do that for us. His name is Michael Finn.”
“That’s a nice name” Drew replied. Then he clicked off.
Drew slept restlessly at the Fairfield Inn just off highway 24. He was in the garage by 6 AM a good hour before anyone else. He surveyed the work orders and took general stock of where they stood. As he had predicted, the last week being spring break the work had been light. But the appointments for the coming week were already almost full. Having taken Lori’s advice to heart, he had made one decision today. He was staying in Clarksville, or “Clarkston” as she had mistakenly called it. That made him chuckle. He would continue to grow his business and make a life for himself. Divorce seemed more than likely but that wasn’t a decision he needed to make this morning. One step at a time.
Tess tossed and turned all night. Her mother suggested a mild sleeping pill and about 1 AM she finally popped one and was able to get about 6 hours of sleep before the morning light was streaming into their bedroom. “Odd,” she thought, “I still see this as our bedroom. Probably not much longer though.”
She showered, fed the baby, and talked with her mom most of the morning. Her mother advised her to listen more than talk, not make promises she couldn’t keep, and for goodness’ sake, don’t try to push Drew in a direction he didn’t want to go. This was a first conversation her mom reminded her. Even if there wasn’t a second one, she wisely counselled her daughter not to try and manipulate the situation. At 11:45 her mom left.
Drew was greeted enthusiastically by his crew when they began to arrive around seven.
“How are we doing Mitch? Things running smoothly?”
“I donno boss, I guess so. You’re better with the books and schedule than me, but I don’t think I screwed any of it up too badly. You stickin around or are out of business?”
“Nope, we’re not closing. Yep, I’m staying. I’m in a bad spot brother, I won’t bull shit you. But the place I need to be to get through it is right here with my friends. I’m seeing Tess this afternoon so I may know more by then, but I do know I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me Mitch.”
Mitch smiled and turned to give his attention to a 2017 Hyundai Genesis G90 that needed new brake pads. As he left, he said, “That’s what I figured.” Which, translated from Mitch parlance meant, “I love you too brother.”
Drew pulled into the driveway at noon, parked and knocked on the front door. Tess was surprised he didn’t just come in. “He doesn’t see this as his home anymore” she thought to herself as she looked in the mirror one last time to make sure she was presentable. She put on a smile as best she could as she opened the door. She wanted to dive into his arms and cling to him for dear life, but she kept herself as composed as she possibly could.
“Drew, the door was unlocked, this is your home, you don’t need to knock, please come in.”
“Thank you, Tess,” he replied ignoring the house comment, or just leaving it alone for the time being.
They sat down uncomfortably at the kitchen table. Tess asked if Drew wanted something to drink, he took a bottle of water.
Always the gentleman, Drew asked, “Tess, would you like to begin, or do you want me to start?” Taking her mom’s advice, she asked him to go first. He looked relieved.
“Eight days ago, I rushed home, picked you up and we raced to the hospital. Even with all the cursing you did due to the pain of the contractions, I was the happiest man on earth. I was getting ready to be a daddy to our son or daughter with the only woman in the world I truly loved. My heart was so full I thought it might burst. That joy was interrupted for a moment when the doc said the baby was breach, but I was confident that everything would work out fine. Lord knows with all the praying our parents and friends were doing I felt you and the baby would be OK.”
“When the doctor came out of the delivery room, I knew right away something was off. She assured me both you and the baby were fine. She told me you had delivered a healthy nine-pound baby boy. Looking back, I realize she never called him “your son” or “you and Tess have a baby boy.”
“Then she walked me down to the nursery, and at first, I thought there was some mistake. The doctor assured me; this was the baby you had birthed. I asked if there was any way medically, we could have a child with his physical characteristics. She said it was all but impossible at which point she began to ask me some awful questions.”
“Did we change plans and have someone impregnate you?”
“If not, did I have any idea if you sought invitro or a sperm donor without my knowledge?”
“Then the ultimate humiliation, ‘Was there a chance you had a sexual liaison with another man who obviously looked different than me?’
I answered no to each question but a moment after the last one, it dawned on me. It had to be Eddie. You had spent so much time with him, there was no other reasonable answer. Somewhere, somehow, you’d abandoned me for him. It was a soul crushing moment that I’ll always carry with me.”
“The doctor asked if it were possible, he had forced himself on you. I couldn’t imagine that, but I knew I had to ask you. Eddie always struck me as a good kid, a nice young man, forcing you into sex seemed beyond any common sense. But I asked you and you told me ‘No, it was mutual.'”
“Tess, I have no idea how and where we went wrong, and you stopped loving me. You never gave me a clue that you were dissatisfied with me as a husband in any way. You never gave me a chance to fix what you felt was broken. Sure, we fought from time to time like every other couple, but you convinced me we were together for life and the love I had for you was the same you had for me.”
“I still can’t believe I never saw this coming or never realized it when it happened. I assume it was more than once, that you had ongoing liaisons, but you were masterful at hiding it from me. Clearly, he never used protection. My pride and happiness as your husband were destroyed in an instant. Now I wonder ‘How many others have there been?’ Were you ever faithful to me? Was it all just a ruse? Am I just the biggest cuckold idiot husband in history?”
“The hour I stayed with you in the hospital before leaving was the worst hour of my life, but I was determined to try and stay calm for the sake of the baby… Michael. I knew if you and I fought it would be terrible for him even as an infant and whatever else, he didn’t deserve that. But finally, I had to get out. I had to get away from the humiliation and disgrace I was experiencing sitting with a woman who mocked me behind my back by fucking another man. A man twelve years her junior. An adult yes, but still a high school student. Someone with whom the school district trusted you. I was quite certain he was somewhere laughing at me too.”
“So, I left to give myself some space. I drove a couple thousand miles in the last week, made a new friend, and got some great advice from her and my dad. Her name is Lori, and she lives in Austin, Texas. I met her completely by accident, but maybe that was one of these moments of fate, because I’m not too proud to say, I think she may have saved my life. She objectively helped me sort through my feelings of being overwhelmed. I was despairing and she gave me a shred of hope. Just enough to get me pointed in the right direction.”
“That brings me to today, Tess. I’m here to speak my mind and hear you speak yours. I know there is nothing you can say now or ever that will take away the trauma of the last week, but I have decided my life is worth living. I’m not a bad guy and I’m not a failure as a man or a husband. I trusted you with my heart and you crushed it. I’ll never trust you again.
“I don’t know what your plans are or even if you have any. But I’m staying put, here in Clarksville and I’m going to move on with my life.”
Drew concluded. “I believe we should divorce as quickly and quietly possible. I assume the high school will not renew your contract for next year, even if they don’t fire you outright. As I said, Eddie is a man, but he is also a student and you violated everything a teacher should stand for. Right now, I hate being in the same room with you. I can’t abide being close to you. Intentionally, or on a sick whim you came close to destroying me and I know I’ll be terribly sad for a while. But I’m going to live my life and make the very most of it. It breaks my heart to know it won’t be with you, but that was the choice you made. Now we both must live with the consequences.”