I replied by kissing him again.
“We’ll get through this together,” he said.
His soothing words cleared the fog that had overpowered my mind. But once the fog was gone, I saw Kevin and Caroline. And Arnold. “Will you help me save my family?”
“If that’s what you want. If it’s possible.”
“Yes, it is. I don’t know.” I put the envelope on my desk. “Let’s go back to the meeting.”
“Are you okay?”
“With you, yes.”
After the meeting, I asked Albert about his mother. She had suffered a nervous breakdown when he was ten. “That’s when I supposedly got on “the spectrum.” My dad’s pretty effective at what he does.” He looked me in the eyes and smiled. “Enough of that. You have your own things to deal with.” He squeezed my hand. “You have me to help you deal with them.”
I was confused. I desperately wanted to save my marriage, keep my family. At the same time, I realized I loved Albert Firsten. I felt it was love between friends, rather than romantic love. But I had enjoyed making love with him, and that’s something you do with a romantic lover.
I took a hotel room that evening, stopping first at Target to buy some overnight necessities. I wasn’t up to facing my family, and I didn’t want to be anywhere near the Firstens. I loved Albert but loathed Thomas; they were always together. I read through the divorce petition. He wanted to let the children decide who would get custody. That was a no-brainer, considering the way they’d been treating me lately. Arnold offered me very generous alimony payable for ten years or until I re-married, whichever came first. It was clear that he had zero confidence in the First Pharmaceuticals IPO, he had zero confidence in my judgment, parental or financial skills. It was bad enough that he filed for divorce. He made things exponentially worse by being so insulting.
I made a list of points I wanted my lawyer to address. I wanted zero financial support; I was, or rather would soon be independently wealthy. I considered offering alimony to Arnold, but that would be stooping to his level. The kids were too young and too easily swayed to decide on custody, so there had to be joint custody. He could have the house; I’d buy a bigger one.
The list was depressing; I didn’t want a divorce. I loved my husband, I loved my children. I called my cousin Julia, a family law attorney. She said the first thing I needed was a motion to be allowed back in my house. I explained that I wasn’t there by my own choice. She said I had to return ASAP. She added that our initial response should include a demand for counseling.
I told her that I might be pregnant from Albert Firsten. “Oh,” she said. “That changes everything. Take a test.”
“I’m afraid.”
“If it turns out you’re not, you’ll have panicked for nothing. If you are, we have to follow an entirely different strategy. Text me the results tomorrow morning.
There was a CVS around the corner from the hotel. The result showed that I had good reason to panic. Julia told me to go home after work, and not mention it till there was an opportune moment. She reminded me that under state law I had another four months to get an abortion if I so wanted. I should do it quickly if I wanted to improve my chances of keeping my family together.
“Yeah, destroy an addition to the family to preserve the family.”
“The new baby would be a half-sibling to your children, but no relation at all to your husband.”
I got to the office late, earning a scowl from Thomas, and a kiss on the cheek from Albert. I faxed Arnold’s divorce petition to Julia and tried to focus on my work. That was difficult because there was nothing really there for me to do. The “experts” had everything in place for our Friday launch; it was just a matter of time. I made sure our manufacturing lab was functioning normally, that it had all the supplies and ingredients it needed, then went to my office and shuffled papers from one side of my desk to the other.