I didn’t come upstairs at all on Sunday. My family all took turns checking that I was okay. Each time they found me sitting at my laptop, earbuds disconnecting me from the sounds of our home. I tried to do First Pharmaceuticals’ work, but as I logged into their IPO files I realized how little of it I understood. My contribution was essentially sex with Albert, and the meager funds I invested.
I understand cooking videos. I looked for new recipes that my family would enjoy, which would bring me closer to them. I came across a dolled-up tuna casserole, and as I read the list of ingredients realized that I was not going to win back their love in the kitchen. It had to be through the wealth and success the IPO would bring me.
I left early for work on Monday and accomplished nothing there. Albert picked up on my sour mood, sat beside me in my office, and silently held my hand. When Thomas came in full of bluster, Albert told him quietly to leave. I was surprised to see him acquiesce.
I wanted to break the ice Monday afternoon, so on the way home I stopped at Kentucky Fried Chicken and bought a large bucket. I announced the treat as I came in the door. Kevin glanced up at me and said “Caroline made tuna casserole.” I looked at the kitchen table and saw it was set for three. There were no dishes at my seat.
My heart broke, rather than the ice. I left the bucket on the table and fled downstairs.
I had stopped sobbing when Arnold brought me a tray with tuna casserole, a piece of chicken, and a diet ginger ale. He put it on the table, then sat on the edge of the bed I was lying on, face down. He silently rubbed my back for maybe ten minutes before going back upstairs.
“How are you feeling,” Albert asked when I got to my office on Tuesday.
I shook my head and sighed. “I’m tired, I’m nauseous, I’m really scared.”
“I’m here for you,”
That was the most comforting thing he could have said. I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
His father barged in and looked at us. “We can fool around later if you’re horny. We’ve got too much material to review now. We’re launching next week. Remember?”
“Get out,” Albert hissed.
“Don’t talk to me like that, boy. Both of you be in my office in fifteen minutes.” He left before Albert could answer back.
“He means well,” I said.
Albert gave me a look and shook his head. He clearly didn’t agree. “Did Thomas tell you anything about my mother?”
“No.”
“Ask me after the meeting.”
The meeting was the usual, reviewing reams and reams of documents that I didn’t understand. Candy talked up a storm, her self-assurance satisfying Thomas and the other experts at the table with us. I was reminded of the story of the professor who had written a social science paper that contained nothing logical, nothing that made any sense but used a lot of jargon. He submitted the hoax article to a number of peer-reviewed social science journals, and it was accepted by almost all of them. I didn’t think Candy was pulling a hoax on us but realized that I had no way of knowing either way. What scared me was the realization that Thomas Firsten probably also couldn’t tell.
Our receptionist knocked on the conference room door. “There’s a gentleman here for Sarah Sanborn. He says he needs five minutes of your time.”
“Thanks, Penny.”
Thomas scowled and nodded. I got up, feeling a little shaky. Albert quickly jumped up and took me by the arm. He ignored his father’s demand that he stay, and walked with me to the reception area.
“Are you Sarah Sanborn?”
I nodded.
He handed me a large envelope and took a picture of it in my hands. “You’ve been served.”
I collapsed onto the reception area couch, my heart racing. Albert sat with me, looking worried. “Bring water,” he told Penny. He took the envelope from my hand, pulled out the document for a moment, and closed it again. “I’m sorry.” He held my hand, giving me the water to sip.
Penny came back over. “Can I do anything to help?”
Gasping, I shook my head.
Thomas came storming over to the reception area. “Why aren’t you back inside? We have important work to do. We’re paying top dollar for the expertise gathered in that room.”
“Father, Mrs. Sanborn’s husband is suing for divorce.”
Thomas’ face lit up. “That’s fantastic! That means we can have her all the time.”
Albert jumped to his feet. I could see the heat emanating from his eyes. “Are you out–”
“Albert, shh. It’s okay.” I caressed his hand. I didn’t want him to lose it. We had too much important work for our plans to be derailed by a father-son war. “Go ahead, I’ll come in a few minutes. I just want my heart to calm down.”
He glared at his father. “We’ll be in shortly.”
Thomas put his hands on his hips, ready to respond angrily.
“I said we’ll be there in a few minutes. Go spend that time with your experts.”
For a shy, socially inept person, Albert was quite effective. I had to smile at him as soon as his father’s back was turned. “Thanks, Albert. You’re really terrific.”
“Let’s go to your office, rather than sit here in the open.” He helped me up. Once my door was closed I glued my body to Albert’s, and kissed him fiercely.
“I love you, Sarah.”
I replied by kissing him again.
“We’ll get through this together,” he said.
His soothing words cleared the fog that had overpowered my mind. But once the fog was gone, I saw Kevin and Caroline. And Arnold. “Will you help me save my family?”
“If that’s what you want. If it’s possible.”
“Yes, it is. I don’t know.” I put the envelope on my desk. “Let’s go back to the meeting.”
“Are you okay?”
“With you, yes.”
After the meeting, I asked Albert about his mother. She had suffered a nervous breakdown when he was ten. “That’s when I supposedly got on “the spectrum.” My dad’s pretty effective at what he does.” He looked me in the eyes and smiled. “Enough of that. You have your own things to deal with.” He squeezed my hand. “You have me to help you deal with them.”
I was confused. I desperately wanted to save my marriage, keep my family. At the same time, I realized I loved Albert Firsten. I felt it was love between friends, rather than romantic love. But I had enjoyed making love with him, and that’s something you do with a romantic lover.
I took a hotel room that evening, stopping first at Target to buy some overnight necessities. I wasn’t up to facing my family, and I didn’t want to be anywhere near the Firstens. I loved Albert but loathed Thomas; they were always together. I read through the divorce petition. He wanted to let the children decide who would get custody. That was a no-brainer, considering the way they’d been treating me lately. Arnold offered me very generous alimony payable for ten years or until I re-married, whichever came first. It was clear that he had zero confidence in the First Pharmaceuticals IPO, he had zero confidence in my judgment, parental or financial skills. It was bad enough that he filed for divorce. He made things exponentially worse by being so insulting.
I made a list of points I wanted my lawyer to address. I wanted zero financial support; I was, or rather would soon be independently wealthy. I considered offering alimony to Arnold, but that would be stooping to his level. The kids were too young and too easily swayed to decide on custody, so there had to be joint custody. He could have the house; I’d buy a bigger one.
The list was depressing; I didn’t want a divorce. I loved my husband, I loved my children. I called my cousin Julia, a family law attorney. She said the first thing I needed was a motion to be allowed back in my house. I explained that I wasn’t there by my own choice. She said I had to return ASAP. She added that our initial response should include a demand for counseling.
I told her that I might be pregnant from Albert Firsten. “Oh,” she said. “That changes everything. Take a test.”
“I’m afraid.”
“If it turns out you’re not, you’ll have panicked for nothing. If you are, we have to follow an entirely different strategy. Text me the results tomorrow morning.
There was a CVS around the corner from the hotel. The result showed that I had good reason to panic. Julia told me to go home after work, and not mention it till there was an opportune moment. She reminded me that under state law I had another four months to get an abortion if I so wanted. I should do it quickly if I wanted to improve my chances of keeping my family together.
“Yeah, destroy an addition to the family to preserve the family.”
“The new baby would be a half-sibling to your children, but no relation at all to your husband.”
I got to the office late, earning a scowl from Thomas, and a kiss on the cheek from Albert. I faxed Arnold’s divorce petition to Julia and tried to focus on my work. That was difficult because there was nothing really there for me to do. The “experts” had everything in place for our Friday launch; it was just a matter of time. I made sure our manufacturing lab was functioning normally, that it had all the supplies and ingredients it needed, then went to my office and shuffled papers from one side of my desk to the other.