We tried to get Tray to start dating again but he said he swore off women. He did make one exception. He asked me to start driving to work without my seatbelt on so in case I was in an accident and died he would then be able to marry Linda. Linda explained to him she loved me and he had better take very good care of her husband and besides she was way too hot for him and he probably couldn’t take care of her properly in the bedroom like I do. That got a big laugh out of Tray and he told Linda that was one of the many reasons he loved her, she was the only one who could make him laugh since his divorce.
Tray continued to spend a lot of his free time at our house and I would sometimes notice Tray glancing at Linda when she would get dressed for bed and wearing her short nighty and come down to watch some game with us before retiring to bed. I could tell he had huge hard on. I mentioned to Linda that maybe she shouldn’t wear some things when Tray was around. She asked why not, it’s just Tray, but when I explained she said she would try to be more aware of her clothing when Tray was around but she felt odd being careful around Tray, it had never been an issue before. I told her he is going thru a rough time right now and we needed to be sensitive and supportive. She agreed and started watching her appearance and behavior around Tray.
Tray noticed the change and asked what was going on in front of Linda and I. I explained I had noticed him staring at Linda when she was wearing something sexy and thought it may have bothered him and had asked her to be careful about what she wore when you were around and maybe back off the hugs a little. It looked like you hadn’t had any female companionship in a while. Tray, always being direct, said you mean you noticed I had a hard-on when Linda was around. I laughed and said yes. Tray looked right at Linda and said “Darlin, I have always had a hard-on when I am around you. You are one sexy and beautiful woman and any red bloodied American male would be just like me if they were around you.” Linda laughed and said “thank you, I think.” He then looked at me and told me he loved both of us and although he would probably always admire my wife I didn’t have to worry about him doing anything inappropriate.
I told Tray I was sorry if we offended him but just didn’t want to make it worse for him since he wasn’t dating or seeing any ladies lately. He said he appreciated the gesture and yeah, he did have to adjust himself sometimes when Linda was around but that was OK. He said please don’t change anything, that it was the companionship and acceptance that he enjoyed. He said “I feel like I’m part of a family when I am around you two. I can speak freely and be myself and not be judged. I love both of you and you allowing me to be a part of your lives is one of the few things that brings joy to my heart.” Linda walked over and gave him a big hug and said she was going upstairs and change into her short nighty if he didn’t mind. Tray said “OMG hun you would make my day.” We all had a good laugh and after Linda changed watched a game on TV together.
Tray gradually got worse and we could see him sinking deeper into depression and nothing we did seemed to help. One evening when he came over to eat dinner with us, he told us about an article he had read in an outdoor magazine about recruiting men for an overseas adventure. After he explained it to us I told him it sounded like a recruiting article for a mercenary organization. Tray said that was what he thought and he had an interview set up with them for the following week.
Linda and I were stunned. I pointed out to Tray he wasn’t an eighteen-year-old youngster anymore and he had no military experience or training. He said he realized that but he needed a change and this sounded like an adventure. Good old Tray, leap before you think it all the way through. Linda and I both tried to talk some sense into him but he just got stubborn. He said “You both know how depressed I have been lately and I’m tired of just going to work and coming home to an empty house and then I come over here and see the happiness you and Linda have and it makes me even more depressed. I’ve tried marriage but there isn’t anyone out there even close to Linda and I just end up frustrated and discouraged. I’m getting nowhere with my life and I have to do something.”
I agreed with him but didn’t think this was what he needed. I pointed out these guys sometimes shoot at people and get shot at. He could get seriously hurt or killed. He said he realized that but it wouldn’t be any great loss besides he planned on taking out a large life insurance policy and making Linda and I his beneficiary. I told him that wasn’t funny. We talked some more but he told us he was going to the interview and was seriously considering signing up. Linda and I were extremely worried.
The following Tuesday Tray came by for dinner and told us he met with the recruiter and was going to sign up for a two-year stint overseas. He had a physical scheduled for next week and if he passed he would soon be on his way to Syria. Linda and I both dropped our forks and gasped. We couldn’t believe we were going to lose our best friend and really a member of our family. Tray said he would try to come by the following week after taking his physical to say good-by because he needed a few days to get all his personal affairs in order. It sure sounded like he didn’t think he would be returning.
After dinner we cleaned away the dinner plates and broke out the hard stuff. I certainly needed a strong drink after this news. Linda and I both tried to reason with Tray but he wouldn’t budge. He was adamant he needed a change and there really wasn’t much of a future for him and he didn’t want to grow old and die alone. We tried to tell him he was a part of our family and we would always be there for him and we were going to all grow old together. He said he really appreciated everything the two of us had done for him but he was just extra baggage and in the way. We had tried to always make him feel like a part of our family but he said he would always be the third person and just in the way.
We argued and talked long into the night and the longer we went the more we drank. It was pretty emotional. I was going to lose my best friend forever and I know Linda felt the same way. We were devastated. Finally, Tray said he had to go and I told him no way after all the liquor he had put away that night. I took his keys away from him and told him he was staying in our guest bedroom tonight. He knew the way since he had spent many nights there after a late-night ballgame we had watched together.
Tray staggered upstairs and went to bed. Linda and I cleaned the kitchen up and went upstairs and changed for bed. Neither of us could sleep and we continued to talk. Linda said “You know he is doing this because he is so depressed and can’t seem to find a way out of his depression.” I told her “I know and we have tried to get him some professional help but he has always refused. We have tried everything and if he goes through with this he will probably end up dead in some backward third world nation. There will be nobody to mourn him or bury him and we may never know what happened to him. I told Linda my heart is breaking and I don’t know what to do.”