The Unraveling by cfnmboy28
A story dedicated to a very special lady who defined my identity in so many subtle and powerful ways. My first attempt at writing, constructive criticism welcome. Thank you for reading.
“It takes a rare persistence, to discover what lies hidden behind the psychological masks. We don them with pride, accepting their necessity for the sake of the common good, the entrance ticket to the masquerade ball that is civilised society. But does peace endure, if the ticket price is the true self, relinquished in favour of the least objectionable common denominator? How long until it is forgotten, faded away among the cacophony of the mundane? If truth is beauty, surely the veneers are worth less than the substance beneath. Perhaps it takes more trust, among the falsehoods of the current age, to surrender all forms of subterfuge for another, to have faith that they will not only accept what lies beneath but will come to love you for it. To have such freedom…that is the dream…that is the goal.”
Suveer cast a slightly pensive gaze around the lecture room. This was not a venue he was familiar with, nor was he expected to be. As an Architecture student, he usually walked different paths on the other side of campus, having no official business being amongst the shimmering glass and steel of the newly upgraded Medical Faculty. But he was here by special invitation, offered a rare glimpse into the lives of post-graduate students a few years beyond his tender age of 19. The room was a lot smaller than his undergraduate lecture halls, where it was not uncommon to have a hundred or more fellow students. Here, a rough count of 20 would suffice, most of which he noted seemed to be female for reasons which were not yet obvious to him.
His scanning gaze was interrupted by the sound of the arrival of his host. Dr Suzanne Taylor entered the room, the sound of her clicking heels seemed to both drown out the sounds of the idle conversation going on in the room and command their silence. She had a way of captivating his gaze, and for good reason. Her long, blonde hair fanned over the shoulders of her light grey formal jacket, like a lioness mane of spun gold that seemed to create its own light with every ripple. Her glasses added an air of academia, enhancing the intelligence and keen perception exuded by her light green eyes. But most of all, as would be expected with most young men, his eyes could not help but drift down to the fullness of her chest, a hint of alluring milky fair-skinned cleavage showing at the lightly dipping neckline of her white blouse. To him, her looks represented the quintessential fantasy doctor or professor, the one all boys secretly wished could be a big part of many aspects of their “education”.
Dr Taylor moved gracefully to the front of the room, her manicured, elegant fingers clasping together neatly towards the front of her pencil skirt as she leaned back lightly against the desk at the front of the class. Her polished, English accent filled the air, each syllable seeming to be on a personal mission to dispel the stereotype that busty blondes have heads filled with Barbie doll sawdust.
“Good morning all. I trust the blog links I forwarded on last week’s discussion topic have proved useful?”
Few in her field of Psychiatry could boast doctorates at such a young age and the intelligence in her voice was clear and captivating. A few light murmurs and nods followed her question which seemed to satisfy her. Her gaze softened a little as she looked around the class at attendance for the morning, narrowing with a slight twinkling affection as it fixed upon Suveer. He resisted the urge to wave, for fear of appearing too eager and foolish, offering a shy smile instead.
She gazed around for a few moments longer, as if building suspense for the announcement of today’s lecture topic. Her shoulders straightened slightly as her voice filled the small room with clarity and the authority of being an expert.
“We are returning to Freudian theory today, some of the more unusual precursors to the modern body of psychiatry knowledge. All you Jung fans need not fret, we will get back to his tenets early next week. Today we will be exploring the theory of Penis Envy”.
Suveer instantly flushed at hearing the word “penis” issue from her lightly painted, prim and proper lips. He knew he had to accept that body parts were spoken of more commonly in the Medical Faculty. But ever since he was young, hearing someone say that word, particularly a female, suddenly made him feel like his clothes had become invisible and all thoughts had instantly directed to discovering his most closely guarded secrets. It felt even more personal, given that he was one of the few owners of a penis in class that morning.
He did his best to appear casual and attentive during the lecture, even though he regularly found his gaze distracted by a shift in Dr Taylor’s body as she paced back and forth in the front of the class. Despite being quite a bright student, many of the terms and themes of the lecture also went over his head, quite a departure from the technical drawing and mathematics with which he was more familiar. He tried to do quick searches on his phone ever so often to follow the gist of the narrative, which also made him acutely aware of the time, displayed each time he unlocked his screen. Time was of more importance for him than usual, a little anxiety growing in the pit of his stomach the closer the digits moved towards the scheduled end of the lecture. He had agreed to do a special favour for Dr Taylor and time was drawing near for him to be true to his word.
The last few minutes of the lecture were a bit of a haze, with him almost constantly checking his phone to watch time tick by, as if wading through molasses. His concentration was broken by a change in Dr Taylor’s tone.
“Right then, to sum up. While largely considered to be an outmoded theory, Penis Envy does offer some interesting insights into gender dynamics. An essential part of psychiatry is to develop a kind of analytical empathy, which often requires a deeper understanding of the opposite sex. While most fundamental drivers of human desire and triggers to the human psyche are universal, there are a few nuances unique to each gender. As part of your assignments this week, I encourage you all to imagine a day in the life of someone of the opposite sex, think and write a short essay on aspects you believe would be generally different. Ok then, off you go and thank you for the attention.”
She reached for a remote on her desk to switch off the projector, as most of the students shuffled off to continue their day. Suveer stayed in place though, giving friendly nods to all those who looked his way. Four young ladies stayed behind as well, gazing back at him, watching as he rose from his seat and made his way over to greet Dr Taylor. Each step felt a bit surreal as he wondered how she managed to talk him into this, her words like a siren song whenever she spoke to him directly.