‘What do you have in mind?’ he said.
‘I want to do what Ilsa did in Casablanca.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘Do you remember the scene when she pulls a gun on Rick?’ said Becky. ‘And he tells her to go ahead and shoot, and she can’t do it?’
‘Yes.’
‘And she realises that she loves Rick and she can’t decide whether to stay with her husband or stay with him. So she tells him, “You decide. You decide for the two of us.” Do you remember that part?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s what I want. I trust you more than I trust myself and I want to hand my life over to you. I want you to be in charge of our marriage, in charge of our family, in charge of our household. I want you to make the rules we live by.’
Bryan stared at his wife. Becky took his hand and looked him in the eye.
‘You know,’ she said, ‘in the original marriage vows, the man promises to love and honour his wife, but the woman promises to love, honour and obey her husband. But we didn’t have those vows when we got married, did we? We had the modern, “improved” version.’
‘Becky,’ said Bryan. ‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘When we retake our vows, I want to put the obey part back in.’
***
Bryan walked along the grassy slope and took a seat on a bench cut from a section of a fallen tree trunk. It was a mild Sunday morning and from his vantage point, he could see a few joggers and dog-walkers making their various ways around the park. The children’s playground at the far side was deserted — families were probably still having their breakfast. Indeed, Becky and Tara would probably be up by now, mooching around the house with the smell of toast in the air.
Becky.
My god, that woman still knew how to surprise him. Of all the things she might have come up with, he didn’t expect that. A return to ‘traditional’ marriage, with the man as head of the family and his wife accepting his authority?
As Bryan gazed out over the park, he realised that he had always assumed his marriage would be an equal partnership. His parents’ marriage had been that — until the divorce — as were pretty much all the marriages he knew. Even fictional couples on TV and in the movies were based on the equal partnership model. And if a movie did show a ‘traditional’ marriage, it was to show how miserable it made women, how it ruined their lives with boredom and drudgery, and how the men would always use their marital authority to gratify their male egos and display their small-mindedness.
Bryan had shared this thought with Becky and she had laughed.
‘Bryan, if I thought for one second that you might turn into a wife-beater who expected me to fetch his slippers, do you honestly think I would suggest it in the first place?’
‘Okay, but … you know what they say about power corrupting?’
‘Did power corrupt Rick when Ilsa gave him the authority to make the decision for the two of them? Did he make the selfish choice? Or did he choose what was best for her?’
Bryan leaned back against the bench and nodded to himself. She was right. Rick had seen the bigger picture and done what he believed was morally right — and Bryan would be inclined to do the same. If he took on the role as head of the family, he would approach it in the same way as his relationships at work after he got promoted — as a position of responsibility, not a position of power. Besides, he didn’t even like the idea of having an ‘obedient’ wife.
‘So, how do you want to approach this?’ he asked himself.
For some reason, Star Trek came into his thoughts. In every version, there was the Captain and the Number One. The Number One was in charge of the running of the ship and the Captain was responsible for the success of the mission. The Captain made all the important decisions, but he always consulted his officers first. And although the Captain was in charge, he or she was always subject to a code of ethics. In fact, there were several episodes which explored the idea that a Captain’s authority rests on his adherence to those principles.
Bryan thought about his situation with Becky. They had a kind of mission: to somehow facilitate a little girl’s growth into an independent, self-responsible young woman. But Bryan saw that it would be good to have something beyond that. Was there some higher purpose he had beyond pursuing a career and providing for a family? It would be good to think about that. It would be good to get Becky to think about it too.
Bryan stood up and began walking down the grassy slope, taking long relaxed strides as his mind went to work.
***
Becky loved the Star Trek metaphor. The only change was that she wanted to be the ‘Captain’s Woman’ rather than Number One.
‘Well, you can be Number One during the day and the Captain’s Woman at night,’ said Bryan.
She was less enthusiastic about the ‘higher purpose’ idea.
‘If we shared a higher purpose, we’d have found it already,’ she said. ‘To be honest, I just want to have a good life and do a decent job with Tara. Let someone else find the cure for cancer.’
Bryan nodded and digested the information. He knew he was going to say yes to Becky’s proposal, but he wanted to be clear on the terms and conditions. After all, if he was going to accept conditional love, he wanted the conditions to be smart. But after Tara was put to bed and the two of them relaxed on the couch in each other’s arms, there was one more issue to address.