The place was jumping, but it wasn’t so loud they couldn’t hear each other. They’d picked the perfect out-of-the-way table to converse and catch up.
“Man, you ever feel like the whole world is going stark raving mad?”
“All the time my brotha” Markus replied before taking a swig of his brew. “War, poverty, disease, economic stagnation, politicians not doing shit about any of it. Feels like nothin ever gets better.”
“I don’t mean the big picture stuff. I’m talkin about, like… people.”
“People? What you mean?”
“You know, just people getting weird. Going kooky.”
“You’re gonna have to be more specific. I mean, people go crazy all the time, but not everyone at the same time. I’m not going crazy. Are you going crazy?”
“I might be.”
“Alright man, lay it on me. What’s troublin you?”
“Ok, I will, but you gotta promise this conversation never leaves this booth.”
“Bro” Markus said, setting his beer down and lifting his hands up. “Who you think you’re talkin to right now?”
“I know” Darius acknowledged. “Just wanted to emphasize it.”
“This is gonna be some shit, isn’t it?”
“Heather and I been trying some freaky things in the bedroom lately…”
“Oh shit!” Markus said with a clap of his hands that was trailed by a laugh. “Here we go!”
“But that’s not even it…”
“What kind of freaky things?”
“You know, kinky shit. Like, she’s in charge and stuff.”
Markus’ eyes grew wide and bright. He raised a clenched fist to his mouth, sideways, as if trying to stifle a boisterous laugh.
Darius’ eyes sunk and he smirked, his expression clearly reading: ‘Cmon, bro.’
“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. It’s just… never would have guessed you two were into that.”
“She’s more into it than I am.”
“But you’re goin along for the ride! That’s great, man! You gotta be open to that stuff if you want a relationship to last. Shit gets stale otherwise.”
“I know, and I love Heather, that’s why I’m doing it. Can I get back to my point now?”
“Yeah, but I want more details later.”
“We’ll see. Anyway, ever since this started, I’m startin to notice that the world is going upside down.”
“Upside down how?”
“Like… it’s not a man’s world anymore! It feels like a woman’s world more every day!”
“Ok, what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, I thought we were going for equality and shit! This don’t feel like equality! This feels downright matriarchal, to borrow a word my girlfriend loves to use the opposite of.”
“Oh, I see. So Heather’s become a bit of a feminist, and you’re not enjoying the backlash that comes with it.”
“It’s not just her!”
“Darius, you are familiar with the fundamental laws of the universe, are you not?”
“Ummm, maybe?” he answered sheepishly before taking a long swig of his beer.
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
“What action?”
“Men have been in charge for thousands of years! Oppressing women at every turn!”
“Ok, so does that mean it’s their turn to oppress us for thousands of years?”
“No! Don’t be ridiculous. I mean, that would certainly be a cosmic balancing, but it’s not gonna happen like that. What it means is, there’s gonna be a period of adjustment while woman are coming into their power. Some, like your girlfriend, are going to discover they very much enjoy that power, in and out of the bedroom.”
“You say ‘some’, but it feels like every woman I meet lately.”
“You just gotta go with the flow, man! Everything…”
Shireen walked into the bar and passed by the table they were sitting at. “Hey Dare!” she said with a wave and a smile before noticing who he was sitting with. Her hand dropped immediately. “Markus” she noted, her face turning stony before she strutted off.
Markus and Shireen had interacted many times before. “Clashed” was probably the better word to describe it. They were both type-A personalities which created an instant friction despite Markus’ obvious attempts to get in her good graces.
“Hey, Shireen! Lookin good baby!” Markus called after her. “Damn, Shireen is lookin fine! She seein anyone right now?”
“She’s got a new boyfriend every month. I wouldn’t go there, man.”
“Haha… I bet she does. Well, I do love a challenge.”
“You say ‘go with the flow’ like you’re all about this kinky shit. You saying you’re into female domination stuff?”
“Me? Nah man, not my thing. I had one girlfriend, Amber, who wanted to go there, but…”
“Then how you gonna tell me to ‘go with the flow’?!?”
“Because, Heather is obviously the one for you. Amber wasn’t the one.”
“Sounds like some bullshit to me. Sounds like you talkin the talk, but not walkin the walk.”
“Hey, bullshit is you complaining about having kinky sex. Now that’s bullshit!”
“Whatever man, you don’t even know.”
“You’re right. I don’t know, and that’s why I’m gonna order shots and you’re gonna tell me more.”
Markus raised his hand, ready to flag down their server.
“Oh, we’re gonna drink like the old days, huh?”
“That’s right, and you’re goin under the table.”
“We’ll see about that.”
* * * * *
“Oh god… the hell did you boys get up to?” Heather queried as she closed in on their table after an hour of darts and pool.
“Just a little contest” Markus answered. He was still relatively sober despite the small collection of empty bottles and shot glasses on the table. Darius was less sober, his head not quite laying on the table, but propped up on his right arm.
“I won” he announced with a silly smile. He raised his wobbly left arm in the air. His fist proudly proclaimed victory before it fell back to his side.
“Yeah, I let you win so you’d spill the beans.”
“Whateva man, I’m the champ! THE CHAM-PEEN!” Darius laughed at his non-joke and Heather rolled her eyes.
“He divulged some secrets” Markus informed her with a wink. “But don’t worry, they’re safe with me.”
Heather put her hands on her hips and looked down at her tipsy boyfriend. “Since you’ve decided to make a fool of yourself, we might as well take advantage of this. It’s time to get your tattoo.”
“Tattoo?” he asked in a semi-haze.
“Yes, the tattoo we’ve talked about three times. The one you agreed to. Since you’re already in your happy place, we should do it now.”
“Haha, alright baby… whateva you say!” Darius looked like he was ready for a nap.
“Will they really ink him like this?” Markus asked, pointing to his stupefied friend.
“They’re not picky at the shop around the corner and I know the owner. It won’t be a problem. Besides, the night air should clear his head a bit.” Heather shouldered her purse and gestured toward her man. “Markus, before you head home, you mind giving us a hand? Just until he’s more with it.”
“Of course” he replied with a mischievous grin.
“You’re the best!” Heather exclaimed with a warm smile.
Markus slid his shades into his jacket pocket and reached for his wallet to pay the bill. As he looked over at his henpecked friend, he was already anticipating the next set of wild stories.
* * * * *
Darius awoke in the painful fog of a hangover. The expected headache was present, but there was more than that. He had localized pain in a couple other places. Namely his midsection and ears. He grunted as he sat up and pulled the blanket off him. He immediately noticed something else troubling.