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Dorothy looked at me amused, “When I was at that party, I really didn’t want to be there. My friends made me. The boys were only after my breasts. Ever since they appeared, boys have had their eyes on them. I doubt if many could say the colour of my eyes. Jeremy was the only one who looked me in the eyes. His smile was so genuine and his eyes showed he was gentle, I relaxed as we spoke. I did find him attractive, highly intelligent and although we disagreed on stuff, we could discuss amicably. I knew within five minutes he was worth knowing. Within weeks I could not envision my life without him.”

Sarah smiled, “How soon were you discussing what your future would be? Did you discuss children, adultery?”

Dorothy spoke sadly and softly, “It seemed next to no time we were discussing these. We both wanted children. I have two sisters and I love playing with my nieces and nephews. They have never asked me about when we are having children but I know my mum is waiting. Jeremy told me about his mother and how he wouldn’t stand for that. I was all for that. I knew how big a catch he was and I didn’t want competition, I couldn’t match them.”

I replied, “I was in love with her before I dropped her off that night. It was so natural to speak about our future. I love children, the way they see life and I hoped I would be a good dad, like my dad was before my mum’s affairs. That destroyed him and I would never settle for that behaviour.”

Sarah looked thoughtful, “What you said gives me hope we can achieve what you wish.

“We have a lot of ground to cover but I think this is a point to address the elephant in the room. I have your test results from the clinic. I can tell you or give them to you so you know. You can tell the other or exchange your results.”

Dorothy spoke quietly, “I’d like to see mine please. So much went wrong after that clinic, I need to see to ensure their result was correct at least.”

I nodded.

Sarah gave us each our results. I was even more nervous than when I opened my exam results. It took a few minutes to dawn on me, I was fertile. I think my sigh of relief was heard in the next town. It brought a smile to Sarah’s face.

Dorothy finished reading hers and handed it to me. I gave her mine. She dissolved into tears as she read it.

“Why? Why? Why didn’t I speak to you? If I had we could have avoided all this. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to approach you as they made it clear you were infertile. It would so damage your ego if I told you without seeing that counsellor. Why did I listen to them?”

I went and hugged her, “Dorothy, we both missed opportunities to speak properly to each other. Sarah can help us. We did know it would be painful.”

Sarah was smiling. When Dorothy had recovered, I sat down.

Sarah asked, “What has changed in those last six months between you, in you?”

I answered quickly, “I’m not an overweight couch potato. Belinda had Ian work me hard at the gym. He showed me the results. My health is so much better. Blood pressure way down, body mass good, cardio very good, lungs good. He’s happy with me but will still torture me as Belinda makes sure he does it. Both my physical and mental health are better even allowing for the last three weeks.”

Dorothy spoke softly, “I’ve been dieting and exercising. I’ve lost weight where I needed to. Jeremy’s probably happy my breasts haven’t changed though he hasn’t been allowed near them for months. My mental health isn’t good. I dwell on not having Jeremy’s children. I’m so sad at the thought of not having them bounce on my knee. I see Jeremy almost broken as he cannot father our children. I spend a lot of time crying or being out doing something to take my mind off it.

“I see it was all needless now.”

Sarah added to her notes. I saw the clock, our time was long up. She saw me looking. “You’re my last couple today. I thought we’d need a longer session.

“Most of today has been positive but the next questions need honesty above all else. The answers will dictate how we go ahead. Lies may postpone the ending but they won’t help repair anything.

“Dorothy, from Jeremy, I know what has caused him the most anger. What has caused you the most anger?”

Dorothy thought for a few minutes, “If I’m honest, I suppose it was when I learned I couldn’t have Jeremy’s children. My whole world blew up. I always saw us having children, playing, being grandparents. To learn that I could but Jeremy couldn’t, caused me so much anger. My dreams were shattered.

“I think it was that night when he last tried to have sex with me. I tied him up and edged him for ages. I was saying all the right things, using some of the few fantasies we’d shared. I took him well beyond his normal tolerance as I was so angry at him. Why did he want to fuck me when he couldn’t make me pregnant?

“That anger was always just below the surface but it wasn’t until I saw his results, I realised what that feeling in me was. I just knew something was wrong and it was his fault.

“I suppose those feelings meant the counsellor was more able to overcome my resistance to cheating on him. To be the one in control!”

Sarah’s face gave nothing away, “Dorothy, was there anything else fuelling the anger?”

Dorothy smiled, “It was the time of the big business deal. He was seldom home before 9pm, away by 7am. If I managed to delay him for a few minutes to speak, I could sense the underlying tone of exasperation. He didn’t want to speak with me. All I got were platitudes. When this deal was over, we’d have time together, make up for what we had missed. I didn’t believe him. There would always be a new deal to chase. I felt neglected, undervalued and alone. If I asked about any details of the deal, he shut me down. We had discussed his business all the time. I gave him suggestions which he sometimes took. I felt ostracised.

“I began to see Belinda as a competitor rather than what she is, a great PA. She knew more about Jeremy than I did, I thought. I started to work out, to make myself more attractive to him. I even looked at more sensual lingerie but when I did, wondered why I should? For him, he no longer valued me. I didn’t buy any.”

Sarah asked, “Are there any more anger issues for you?”

Dorothy looked sad, “He did make the effort he said he would. He came home more on time and tried to be engaged with me. I went out most nights but he seldom challenged me. It just emphasised to me, he had moved away from me. When I left the house, I was often in tears, he’d made no attempt to stop me.

“Until the Friday when we had the initial bust up, that’s probably what was driving my anger towards him.”

Sarah smiled, “I’m not going to address the last few weeks tonight. I don’t want you to talk in any depth over it until we have discussed it. It does need to be addressed.

“There are a couple of big questions, I have to ask you. Have you had sexual relations with anyone other than Jeremy since you’ve been together, especially in recent months?”

Dorothy took a deep breath. She looked straight at me, “I haven’t been with any man other than Jeremy. He took my virginity and he is still the only man to have touched my body, my private parts apart from medical examinations. Even then I try as much as possible to have female staff.”

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