“On Friday she flaunted how little she was wearing as she went out. About two hours later, Mike sent a photo of her with a tramp stamp tattoo. She knew I loved her flawless skin and this would defile it. She was only wearing a micro thong so Mike and the tattooist saw about everything she has to offer. I never knew she had any lingerie like that.
“I replied how she knew my feelings on tattoos and how this was designed to show me my place. I attached the divorce papers. I left the house. I couldn’t stay there after that. I turned off my phone. Today when I put it on there were many texts, messages, all saying nasty things about me. Not one word of contrition, one apology.”
Sarah asked, “Do you love her?”
I laughed nervously, “I’m not sure. I’m so angry. I only see what I never expected to see, us breaking apart. How she’s been goading me, basically saying, “Fuck you” by her actions the last few months.
“I’m so tired of this. I know I have some blame but I have never nor would I treat her like this.”
“What do you wish this counselling to achieve?”
“Belinda, my PA suggested this. She said I needed to be able to see beyond the anger and understand, if possible what has happened. Maybe how to approach her to get to the truth and deal with it. Learn from my mistakes so any future relationship has a chance.”
“You’ve said, “future relationship,” do you feel this one is too toxic to recover?”
“I don’t know. Some moments I’m so angry, I just want to be free, throw everything out yet I want to know why, is it fixable? I’ve never felt these rollercoasters of emotions before. Belinda asked me if she was trying to jolt me? I don’t know but this to me seems the wrong way to deal with our problems.”
Sarah looked down at her notes for a moment. She asked quietly, “Before everything started to unravel, was there anything going on which had either of you under stress?”
I thought for a few minutes, “Dorothy was worried she had not become pregnant. My flippant response got me the cold shoulder. I said you need to have sex for that to happen. I did see envelopes to her from a clinic but whenever I brought those up, she shut the talk down. We haven’t had sex since.”
“So, she may have had tests but is keeping the results away from you. Is there any reason for her to do so?”
“I suppose when we talked before we were both keen on children. If she has a problem, maybe she thinks it will change how I feel about her. It won’t. I would support her to achieve pregnancy if possible. If not, we could adopt if she wished.
“We used to be able to talk about everything but we don’t speak much at all now.”
“Do you know if she’s seeing someone, a counsellor for reproductive matters?”
“I don’t. I’ll check our accounts to see if there are any bills.”
“How forceful are you when you wish to make love to her? Do you come across as dictating your sex life hence, her body, her decision?”
“I’ve never forced myself on her. If I tried to instigate and she said she was tired but would love a cuddle, that’s what we did. On occasion she might say, “fuck me, you haven’t had it in a while, just take your pleasure. I refused more often than accepted. In truth, it’s very restricted, what she will allow. Even if I did something I could see she really enjoyed, she said she didn’t.
“I asked her to consider counselling, couples’ retreats to see if we could get back to what we had where we could speak about anything. We don’t agree on everything but our discussions while they could be passionate were amicable.
“The communication went downhill fast due to a big business deal which took a lot of time but I made sure she knew the end result would be us being able to spend more time together.” I added sadly, “Probably not what she wanted to hear!”
“How are you feeling about recent events?”
“I’m angry. I’m angry at myself for not being able to get across to her how she is hurting us with what she is doing. I’m angry she doesn’t accept that by having affairs, she will destroy our marriage. I told her I wouldn’t accept adultery in marriage long before we were married.”
“If she was here now what would you say to her?”
“I’d ask her for the whole truth. I’d want to see her eyes and body language to ensure she was telling the truth. I know what she may say will hurt but lies will cause even more pain. With the truth revealed, we can decide what the future may hold.”
“If she says, she was trying to jolt you, hasn’t had an affair, can you go on together?”
“I don’t know. There’s just so much I don’t know. She’s done some things which have humiliated me and made me wonder who she is. I’d need to know her reasoning for what she did. If it was malice, I don’t think we could be together.”
“If she says, she has had an affair, what would you do?”
“I think that leaves me with no option but divorce. I can’t live wondering if she’s late, who’s she fucking? What disease could she give me? She agreed with me about that before we were married.”
“How long have you been married?”
“We’ve been together fourteen years, married for twelve.”
“Have you had affairs? A successful businessman, you’ll have had offers.”
“Oh, I’ve had offers, some even in front of Dorothy but I have refused everyone. My mum May had affairs and it drove my dad to drink. He was drunk when he crashed and killed himself. She’s never admitted her part in his death. We don’t have much to do with each other.”
“You said, your sex life was poor. How adventurous was your sex life before it stopped?”
“It was fairly basic, to be honest. I’d suggest a bit of roleplay, a hooker, a date but she didn’t want that. I’d try what she wanted. It didn’t happen often but I reasoned, it was worth the effort. She liked to tie me up and edge me until I had to cum. If I suggested that I reciprocate, she didn’t defrost for at least a fortnight.”
“Blowjobs, anal, other rooms, outside, in view of others?”
“None of those. To give you some perspective, the last two Fridays are the only times she has gone out without a bra on to my knowledge. If I suggested she buy a lacy or satin bra, sensual knickers, I could have dropped dead from her look. Her underwear was more suited to a grandmother. In fact, most grandmothers probably had more sensual stuff.”
“Did you ever buy her more sensual lingerie?”
“At first but she never wore it. Our bedroom would be colder than a freezer for weeks.”
“If your marriage can be saved, would you like her to join us on a journey to have a better sex life?”
“I would but I don’t see her going for it.”
“Okay, we’ll take baby steps. For the moment I would like to hypnotise you to enable you to relax better. It will take a few sessions of it to really make a difference. The technique is to try to relax you so you are in control. You’ll be able to manage this yourself with practice. I’ll also speak about how to keep the anger down.” She laughed, “I won’t have you running around like a chicken when Belinda shouts at you.”
I laughed. I thought I couldn’t be hypnotised but she did. When I was under it she explained to me how to relax, let anger go and chill. It wasn’t perfect but I did feel better.
As the session was about to end, Sarah said, “Love and anger are two sides of the same coin in many ways. The anger you are feeling is due to the depth of love you have for Dorothy. Spend some time doing what we have discussed to try and reduce your anger. If you can do that, solutions which are not nuclear, may come to you.
“We’ll meet again on Thursday. Belinda gave me your schedule and options she could change if necessary.”
I laughed, “If I wasn’t there Belinda would run the company better than me.”
Sarah nodded, “She said that!” We both laughed.
I was at the apartment, making a major decision, takeaway or eat out, when my phone went. It was Belinda.
“Hi, did you survive?”
She laughed, “I’m not sure. She was very nice but obviously pissed off at you. She went ballistic when she went to pay. I did pay.
“There was a lot of chat which I will need to update you on. I can come to the apartment.”
I laughed when she mentioned Dorothy going ballistic, “Belinda, you have had a very long day. Unless there is an earthshattering element, it can wait until tomorrow. We can close my door and discuss it.
“Thank you for Sarah. She was as you described. I’ve been flayed and soothed.”
Belinda laughed, “Okay. There wasn’t anything which exposed what she was doing. I do think she loves you and you have surprised her by your actions. See you tomorrow.”
After eating in, I checked our accounts. There were a series of transactions which didn’t make sense. I couldn’t find their name anywhere. I would have my investigative people track those down. It could be the counselling Sarah mentioned.
I looked further back and saw the medical clinic bills. I’d add those to Sarah’s information. I doubted they would say what had happened. I did check their website. It was a gynaecology/fertility clinic.
Belinda and I discussed her meeting with Dorothy. Belinda admitted she had said how cut up I was over her tattoo and that Mike and the tattooist had seen so much of her. There were several phrases which Dorothy repeated which made little sense.
I hadn’t spoken to Dorothy. She had managed to persuade my mum to call me. It wasn’t a good call. Mum told me that Dorothy had needs I wasn’t meeting. She didn’t like me reminding her how when she went outside her marriage to address her needs, she fucked her husband so much he drank himself to death. I wouldn’t allow that to happen to me. If Dorothy has needs I can’t provide, she can accept the divorce and move on. She can fuck who she likes after.
The week went slowly or quickly, depending on what I was doing. I had more information for Sarah.
Unbeknown to me, Belinda had given Sarah more of the story than she gave me.
When I saw Sarah, I gave her a folder with what my team had learned. There was no further information on the gynaecology clinic but their site showed they investigated reproductive health. The other strange recurring bills turned out to be a counsellor who specialised in empowering women to take control of their lives. Her building had a great deal of security as many partners of her clients objected to her methods. It appears she breaks more marriages than she fixes.