The weekend dragged and Monday was no better. Far too soon on Tuesday it was time to leave and pick Dorothy up.
Sarah welcomed us in. After the introductions, she spoke to Dorothy outlining how she worked and what she required from all parties involved. Dorothy agreed that she would participate as she asked.
Sarah smiled, “Dorothy, what do you wish to achieve in any sessions we have?”
Dorothy looked uneasy, “I don’t know. I do love Jeremy but I don’t know if that is enough to repair, rebuild what we had. I don’t want us to be angry at the other all the time. My emotions are everywhere. What has happened I never expected. My counsellor assured me that Jeremy would be elated to have all the marital decisions made for him as he was so subservient to me. His belligerent attitude and walking out was such a shock. I followed what she said so how did it go so wrong?”
Sarah smiled, “Let’s start with why you went to the first clinic?”
Dorothy looked ill at ease, “Jeremy and I had been trying for children for ages. I had met Yvonne and Susan at the spa and we began talking. They were different to my normal friends, so open. One day, I was upset as my period had started. They saw and asked and I stupidly told them our business. Susan knew this clinic and they talked me into having tests. My results were clear, I had no fertility problem.
“I was going to speak with Jeremy but the clinic said to speak with the counsellor as she would help prepare me for the talk. Susan and Yvonne told me to follow their advice. I did. The first couple of sessions seemed strange as she asked about our sex life as well as my results.
“I was uncomfortable talking about how poor our sex life was. I knew the main responsibility was mine. As I explained to her how I seldom allowed him to do more, she began describing Jeremy’s lack of demand as him wishing me to be more in command. Each session began focussing more and more on that. As I finally accepted that, she said, as Jeremy’s fertility was suspect at best, I could solve my pregnancy problems by taking a lover or two. If I chose someone very close to Jeremy’s characteristics, he wouldn’t know the children weren’t his.
“I couldn’t do that to him. She worked away on me. My new friends were telling me to go for it.
“She began to tell me how to restructure our marriage, how to take control. Firstly, deny him sex. Not difficult as he had stopped asking. In truth, I couldn’t face him as I knew what she was saying was wrong. After each session I was angry at myself but over time that started to change, I began to agree more.
“Jeremy loved to tease my pubic hair so I had it waxed to show I was in control.
“After the big business deal was settled, he made the effort to be at home at normal hours. I went out, to show I was in control. He never tried very hard to stop me. It reinforced the counsellor’s view he wanted me in control. He wanted me to make the decisions as he made them all at work.
“It all blew up when Jeremy saw through the so-called discussion and stormed off. This was not in the plan. This wasn’t meek and mild Jeremy. This was a very angry Jeremy I had never seen before.
“When we argued, later at home, every word he said hit home. I tried to argue for me being in control but I knew he was right. I couldn’t tell him. The counsellor told me it was my own insecurities which were holding me back. I was to force the issue so the following Friday, I did.
“Jeremy left me and sent me divorce papers. I understand his reasoning. I agree with it as viewed through his perspective. What I was allegedly doing was beyond what we had promised each other.
“I’ve hurt him so much, I don’t know if he can ever forgive me, if we can build a new relationship.”
Dorothy was in tears as she spoke. Sarah handed her tissues.
I was mad at her for believing that shit. I was going to speak but Sarah stopped me.
She spoke calmly, “Dorothy, the clinic gave you very bad advice. Every clinic I have worked with wishes both parties to be tested as there are so many combinations which can affect fertility. They should have told you, at the very least to speak with Jeremy. I know that thought would have been difficult especially at the time. Your emotions were raw.
“This counsellor you saw hates men. She is about to be struck of the register due to her brainwashing clients. There have been so many marriages destroyed by her.
“She takes you on when you are so vulnerable and over time conditions you to her way of thinking. Your new friends were happy to see you being misled. They supported her and by doing so made you risk your marriage.
“I know from my sessions with Jeremy, he loves you deeply which is why he is so hurt. You hurt, as you have recognised what you did to him, to you both.
“I can help. I cannot wave a magic wand and make everything disappear but I can help you to go in a direction which you both wish. It will be difficult.”
Dorothy looked at her, sadly, “I’d like to try at least to be friends if I have fucked us up beyond fixable.”
Sarah smiled, “We can do that. Let’s take a step back to the beginning. What were your first impressions of each other?”
I laughed. Sarah looked at me. “Sorry but Dorothy is beautiful. I saw the blond hair and the amazing breasts as she entered the room. She was dressed demurely but she still oozed sex appeal. So, my first impression was – I wanted to fuck her. She batted a few boys away but for some reason she spoke with me. As we did my mindset changed. She was highly intelligent, funny and able to hold a conversation for more than a few moments. I decided she was worth getting to know well so I didn’t try anything sexual for ages. By then I was madly in love with her.”
Dorothy looked at me amused, “When I was at that party, I really didn’t want to be there. My friends made me. The boys were only after my breasts. Ever since they appeared, boys have had their eyes on them. I doubt if many could say the colour of my eyes. Jeremy was the only one who looked me in the eyes. His smile was so genuine and his eyes showed he was gentle, I relaxed as we spoke. I did find him attractive, highly intelligent and although we disagreed on stuff, we could discuss amicably. I knew within five minutes he was worth knowing. Within weeks I could not envision my life without him.”
Sarah smiled, “How soon were you discussing what your future would be? Did you discuss children, adultery?”
Dorothy spoke sadly and softly, “It seemed next to no time we were discussing these. We both wanted children. I have two sisters and I love playing with my nieces and nephews. They have never asked me about when we are having children but I know my mum is waiting. Jeremy told me about his mother and how he wouldn’t stand for that. I was all for that. I knew how big a catch he was and I didn’t want competition, I couldn’t match them.”
I replied, “I was in love with her before I dropped her off that night. It was so natural to speak about our future. I love children, the way they see life and I hoped I would be a good dad, like my dad was before my mum’s affairs. That destroyed him and I would never settle for that behaviour.”
Sarah looked thoughtful, “What you said gives me hope we can achieve what you wish.
“We have a lot of ground to cover but I think this is a point to address the elephant in the room. I have your test results from the clinic. I can tell you or give them to you so you know. You can tell the other or exchange your results.”
Dorothy spoke quietly, “I’d like to see mine please. So much went wrong after that clinic, I need to see to ensure their result was correct at least.”
I nodded.
Sarah gave us each our results. I was even more nervous than when I opened my exam results. It took a few minutes to dawn on me, I was fertile. I think my sigh of relief was heard in the next town. It brought a smile to Sarah’s face.
Dorothy finished reading hers and handed it to me. I gave her mine. She dissolved into tears as she read it.
“Why? Why? Why didn’t I speak to you? If I had we could have avoided all this. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how to approach you as they made it clear you were infertile. It would so damage your ego if I told you without seeing that counsellor. Why did I listen to them?”