Darkness Inside by Lilith04
She has that darkness inside her, that darkness whose finality is to reveal her true nature… , I wish you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing, and I hope you like it enough to let me a comment, ok?
Special thanks to my friend Arizona1664 for checking it for me.
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Darkness Inside.
I was born on a dark day. The day my loving mother ceased to exist. And the dark gray clouds filled my sky for years, since I’ve born. I’m in the shadows, in a flawless, cruel and lustfull night I discovered it was meant to last forever.
The three of us lived in a small and ordinary town. My father, my brother and I. We were nobody. My father was just an employee in a box factory and my brother and I were just simple teenagers, he was three years older and worked in a general store while I just took care of home.
Nobody cared about us, until my brother got caught doing something hideous at the local cemetery.
People kept saying someone saw him slaughtering a goat on somebody’s tomb…
Neither my father nor I believed what they were saying. My brother was quiet and closed, just like me, maybe because my mother passed away bringing me to life and we grew up around a disturbed and enraged father. But he never did anything to make us think of him like some satanist. We both were quiet, all ourselves, but that was all. I tried to support him the best I could, I didn’t wanted to be alone with my dad, and I had hope it all would be just a huge misunderstanding… Until he disappeared.
My life turned into a nightmare. I was simply the weird girl at school, no more, no less. Never had friends, I never was popular. Even when some interesting boys stared at me, at my looks, even when they saw through the fact I’m slim, flat chested and kinda clumsy, they never took a shot at me. I was considered pretty by some, straight and long dark brown hair with some tones of red, green eyes and a porcelain white skin. But probably that dark thing around me just kept them away from me. Maybe my tastes for music and clothing weren’t appropriate, maybe I wasn’t cool enough to be seen with them. And I was always too shy and too introspective to give it a try myself. But life was simpler. Now I’m a pariah.
People look at my dark makeup, my usually black clothing, and see some kind of goth nymphet satan’s lover, while I’m more a shy virgin who listens to Avril Lavigne and is taking her time starting to enjoy rock and metal music, learning about it through the internet… I just wanted to have some personality, to fit in some group, waiting for someone who was caring enough to understand me and discover that I’m a nice person inside, I just can’t leave my shelter…
But in that small town, they just cared enough to insult a sixteen year old girl for no reason. I was charged and considered guilty of being something I didn’t even understand. People of the church started to cross the street when see me coming. At school I was called names. The little number of supposed friends I had – girls who were jealous or just were as anti social as I was – simply disappeared. I was left even more alone than I already was. Life turned into hell. And still, I had a man who secretly hated me – my father, enraged at losing his wife to give birth to this freak…
I wanted it to stop. I had no reason to live. I felt like I just wanted to die.
And then, it happened.
Once in a while my dad had night shifts at the factory. When this happened I had the habit of going to a nearby bakery, buy some things to eat at night, then lock myself up at home. This time when I was heading home I saw the next door neighbour walking with his pup.
He was one of the only people who didn’t treat me like garbage after the happening. So when I saw him I just waved. Knowing that I didn’t used to smile at anyone, he just grinned and waved back. He was young, probably in middle twenties, and I always felt he had a crush on me, but he didn’t even catch my attention. Except the fact he wasn’t being mean to me, like the rest, he was absolutely the same as all the people from this dull provincial town, and I hated it.
And for a brief moment I saw his expression reflecting the fact that something wrong was about to happen to me. His surprised face announced the arrival of a black van right next to me, from which two masked men jumped out.
In desperation I dropped the sack with things I had bought at the bakery and I tried to run, but it was useless. They grabbed me, one of them lifted my legs, dragging me to the van, while the other was pinning my arms and muffling my screams, my useless calls for help, as the only person around, my neighbour, was completely static watching what was happening to me not moving a muscle to save me.
Inside were a third man, laughing at their success and holding ropes, while the fourth one drove off screeching tires. In my mind, I was lost. They are going to rape me, they are going to rape me, my conscience repeated insistently, as if it was trying to prepare me for the worst. For a girl who hadn’t even kissed anyone yet, just thinking about it was monstrous.
I squirmed and struggled, my heart beating like it was about to break my rib cage, but when they finally had my wrists and ankles tied, I ceased fighting. When I was a kid, every time my father was angry, he used to beat me for no apparent reason. When I was little I just screamed and cried, but soon as I was old enough to figure out it was going to keep happening, my body started to react differently, I became insensitive. The pain was still there, but somehow I figured that struggling would only make things worse. I didn’t even cry anymore, and gradually my father stopped his aggressions, like beating an inanimate being wasn’t good enough for him to satiate his rage. Since I was seven years old I never cried again.
The same was happening in that van. Three man surounding me, grinning maliciously beneath their cloth masks made of black fabric which exposed only their eyes and mouth, and soon as they dropped me in the wagon’s floor I wasn’t feeling anything anymore, my body shivered stiff on the ground.
“I said she was weird, remember?” Said the tall one, who continued. “She is not even crying. If I didn’t know she is as fucking crazy as her brother, I’d think she’s really brave.”
“Or maybe she’s just a little whore waiting to get some dick!” The bulkier one said, making me shiver even more. They were really going to rape me. “Why don’t you take your hand off her mouth so we can figure it out?” He said to the one behind me, that kept his arm around my neck and one of his hands over my mouth.
“Please don’t do this!” I begged as soon as my mouth was freed. They laughed at me.
“Your brother should have thought better before spilling goat’s blood in or family’s tombs” The driver said.
“But I didn’t do anything!” I tried to reason with them.