The dinner was excellent, as was the wine but the main course had been a challenge and we were both full so we chose coffee and cognac as an alternative to dessert. As we sipped our cognac Veronica leaned across the table and said, “Tell me about your marriage”.
I smiled, took a minute to collect my thoughts and then I told her.
“Her name was Emily. We got married 11 years ago. I had just completed my PhD. She was a high school English teacher working on her master’s degree. I thought we were in love.” I sighed. “I think I might still be a little in love with her.”
Veronica stared at me. “What happened?”
“About three months after we got married I was teaching an evening class that was cancelled. I came home early. I found her in bed with the football coach from the high school where she taught.”
“What did you do?”
“I blew up, said awful things to her and stormed out of the house.” I shrugged. “Later that night I called her and tried to apologize but she wouldn’t talk to me.”
“Why would you apologize? She was the one who was cheating.”
“I know, I’ve spent many hours thinking about that since it happened. I guess the answer is that I didn’t really blame her for cheating.”
“What makes you say that?”
I stared at the floor for a moment and then I quietly said, “I’m not very good in bed.”
Veronica started to chuckle but stopped herself. She reached across the table and held my hand. “I’m sorry Dougie, I didn’t mean to laugh. It just struck me as funny. I mean, it’s not the kind of thing most men are generally willing to admit; especially when they’re on a first date.”
I smiled at her. “Well, if our relationship develops, you’re going to find out anyway, so we might as well get it out in the open.”
Veronica burst out laughing. “Dougie, I just love your honesty but it might be better if you don’t ‘get it out in the open’ here, they might not be so understanding.” Still smiling from her joke, she took a moment to collect herself and then she said; “Okay, so tell me why you think you’re so bad in bed.”
I stared at her. “You’re going to make me tell you, aren’t you.”
She shrugged. “You brought it up; besides, as you just said, if our relationship goes anywhere I’m going to find out anyway.”
“All right, I have a tiny penis and I tend to ejaculate quickly.”
“How tiny?”
“You do understand that this is very embarrassing, don’t you?”
“Just relax and tell me.”
“About Four inches.”
“Erect or soft?”
“Erect.”
Veronica raised her eyebrows and said, “That’s tiny, no wonder you are named after someone without legs!.”
“You’re not helping.”
She grinned at me. “Oops, sorry, that’s not what I meant, actually I may be helping. I haven’t walked out of the restaurant have I? Now that I know, you don’t have anything to be nervous about anymore, do you?”
“I guess that’s true.”
“All right, that’s size dealt with, what about timing, how quickly?”
“Very.”
“What do you mean?”
“Often before I get it in.”
Veronica considered this for a moment and then she said, “Okay, we’ve established the fact that you’re not very good at sexual intercourse.” She smiled at me. “But there are other ways to please a woman.”
“I don’t understand?”
Veronica winked at me. “You’ve got a tongue, I love a man who knows how to use his tongue.”
“My ex-wife would never let me do that. She thought it was dirty.”
Veronica shook her head. “She has no idea what she was missing.”
“I’m not sure I’d know what to do.”
“Well maybe we’ll have to give you your first lesson tonight.”
I stared at her. “You mean you want to… tonight?”
Veronica stared at me and slowly nodded her head.
My face must have turned red because she suddenly burst out laughing and said, “Dougie you are so cute when you get embarrassed.”
I smiled at her. “You may just be the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met.
Veronica’s expression became very serious. She stared at the floor for a moment and then she looked up at me and quietly said, “Dougie that might be the nicest thing a man has ever said to me.”
We were both silent for a moment and then I smiled at Veronica and said, “All right, now it’s your turn. Tell me about your marriages.”
Veronica shook her head. “I did the same thing your ex-wife did.”
“What do you mean?”
“I cheated.”
“On all three husbands?”
“Oh yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I guess it’s just the way I am, can’t help myself, I’m just a slut at heart.”
“That’s a pretty harsh name to put on yourself.”
She shrugged. “I suppose I’m used to it, people have been calling me that since I went to high school.” She thought for a moment and then she said, “I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved sex. When I was in high school I never wanted just one boyfriend, I wanted lots…,” she laughed, “.. and I had lots. When the boys know you’re easy, then it’s very easy to get asked out.”
Veronica was quiet again. She was obviously thinking about all of this. Finally she said, “I know it sounds like I was doing it for attention, but that’s not true. Dougie I love to fuck and I love variety. Sometimes I think I have the sex drive of a man.”
She stared at me and smiled, I smiled back. When she realized that I wasn’t going to judge her she continued, “I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not the marrying kind.” She closed her eyes and added wistfully, “Dougie, how I wish that wasn’t true. I get so lonely sometimes but I know I can never be faithful to just one man.”
Her good humour returned and she laughed, “When I married my second husband three of my old boyfriends kidnapped me during the reception. It’s a common wedding prank, only we didn’t just drive around, they took me to a motel. Each of the guys took a turn fucking me and then we returned to the reception and after we got back I danced with my new husband with the semen from three other men running down my thighs.”
She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. “Problem was Dougie, they couldn’t keep their mouths shut. They bragged to everyone about how they took turns fucking me on my wedding night and when my new husband heard about it, well, two weeks after the wedding my second marriage was annulled.”
She looked at me and shrugged. “I guess it really didn’t matter, sooner or later I would have cheated on him and he would have eventually caught me with someone else and we would have still ended up in divorce court.”
She took a deep breath and stared into my eyes. “Dougie, James Martin fucked me just before you got to my flat this evening.”
I nodded and quietly said, “Yes, I figured that one out.”
She continued. “He’s married, stuck in a boring life. Every Saturday afternoon his wife visits her mother and her sister and for the past two years, when she gone off to make her visit he’s spent that time at my apartment. Usually he’s gone by five, but this afternoon his wife and her sister decided they would take their mother out to dinner and it messed our timing up. His wife didn’t leave their house until 5:30 so James got to my apartment later than usual. Knowing you were coming, I tried to make him go; I was so afraid that you would turn around and leave if you found James at my apartment when you arrived…”