“Okay, well there is something else I know but I shouldn’t be the one to talk to you about it. You should really talk with Katie’s mom.”
“Shani come on, just tell me and if it’s important I will speak with Beth. I’m not about to show up at Beth’s place and start asking her about her daughter without knowing why first.”
“Alright, but just so we’re clear, I don’t know everything about this so some of my facts could be wrong. Which is why you need to talk to her mom.”
“Fine.”
“A couple of months before my wedding, we found out Katie had been rushed into the emergency room at the hospital.”
“Is she alright?”
“Just let me finish please. What Skye told me was that they had to pump a shit load of sleeping pills out of her stomach. It appears Katie may have tried to take her own life. She had been suffering from depression for a while apparently. And yes, she’s fine or I wouldn’t have seen her at Jane’s birthday.”
I slumped in my chair with a look of concern across my face.
“Hey, are you alright?”
“Yeah, you would think I should be happier. My cheating ex-wife is depressed after I left her.”
“But you’re not a miserable asshole, so I would expect better from you.”
I got up from the kitchen bench and placed the coffee cups in the sink. I looked out the kitchen window at the miserable weather outside. At least it matched the mood inside as well.
“So you think I should talk to Beth about this?”
“Yes, because this may not have been the only time Katie tried to do this. Apparently, there were other times too, but Skye was not sure about it. We know about the hospital because Beth thought it might cheer Katie up to have her friends visit when she was placed into the ward for monitoring.”
“Okay thanks Shani.”
“Alright I’m going head to my parents now. Thanks for the coffee.”
“No problem.”
“And I will get you the name of a counsellor from my dad as well.”
“Yeah thanks.”
After Shani left, I sat down in my lounge and contemplated what the hell I should do.
I knew I didn’t want to get back together with Katie, even though I was still in love with her. Even after three years it still hurt whenever I think about her. But I couldn’t ignore her either if there was a way I could help for us to move past this.
I know it took 18 months for me to get out of my depression after we broke up, but I was not at fault for the breakup. I was angry and had low self-esteem because of what she had done. But I did not bear the guilt. I would think it’s easier to get over being angry than it would the feeling of guilt.
I decided I would not put it off, if I’m going to speak with Beth I might as well do it now. Beth’s number was still in my phone so I took a deep breath and hit dial.
“Hello Greg, how are you?”
“Hi Beth, I’m good. It’s been a while.”
“Yes, almost three years. Are you still working for that construction company?”
“Slater’s, yes. It’s been good. How about yourself, you still working at the Hospice?”
“Of course, I will end up transitioning to being a patient there one day, especially if they keep working me this hard.”
“It’s good to hear your voice Beth, I’ve missed our chats.”
‘I’ve missed you too Greg, but you’re not calling to chat up an old lady, did you want to speak with Katie?”
“Not yet Beth, I just wanted to speak with you first.”
“What can I help with then darling?”
“I just heard what happened about a year or so ago, with Katie going to the hospital.”
“Yes, that was a pretty stressful time.”
“Is she fine now Beth, Is Katie doing okay?”
Beth was quiet for a few seconds. She was obviously weighing up whether she should tell me what was going on with her daughter.
“Greg, are you busy this morning? Can you come over around 10am?”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to see Katie yet Beth.”
“No she’s going out shortly, Skye is picking her up to take her to the markets. They will be gone until after lunch. So, we can chat about this properly.”
“Alright. Okay, I will be there at 10am. Bye Beth.”
It was strange walking up the path to Katie’s mom’s place. I never thought I would be standing at this front door again. All the memories seem to become a lot fresher when you’re at the house that we spent so much time in.
Beth greeted me at the door with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi Greg, you look as handsome as ever and not a day older.”
“Well officially I turned a day older yesterday.”
“Oh that’s right, yesterday was your birthday. Well, a belated happy birthday! Now come on in out of the cold.”
I sat down and started to warm up in the lounge room where Beth’s house has a fireplace going. Beth came back in with two cups of coffee.
“So where should we start Greg?”
“I’m not sure. Just, I guess how is she? Is she doing well?”
“She doing fine yes. Although she does go through patches where she is feeling down for a while.”
I just nodded, I was hoping Beth would just explain everything for me.
“When I say fine, well probably not like you would remember her. I don’t think I’ve seen that Katie since you two were married. She didn’t deal with the breakup very well. It took a while for her to even want to socialize with people after that. And when she does, she is fairly reserved, quiet.”
“And then occasionally she goes through periods where she just seems depressed all day, not wanting to talk or deal with people at all. When she goes through the bad weeks, I try to make sure she keeps herself occupied so she has less time to dwell on things. She has some medication for those times as well.”
“What about her job, is this affecting her work at the law firm?”
“She had to go part-time a while back. She could not handle the workload and be medicated as well.”
I sat back in in my chair looking into the fire, thinking about how this has affected Katie’s life so much. She was always the happiest, most confident person in the room, my glowing ball of sunshine. Now what, three years later and she is still sometimes medicated and having bouts of depression with her career put on hold.
“Are you okay Greg?”
I looked over at Beth and nodded, then took a sip of my coffee.
“The sleeping pills, can you tell me what happened?”
“Well, the time you’re referring to was just one of them. There were two other times she has attempted it as well.”
“She didn’t go to hospital for them?”
“No, the first time was probably two years ago, she didn’t take enough and ended up vomiting them back up herself anyway. I had to watch her a lot more closely after that.”
“Two years ago, around the time of the divorce?”
“Yes, she took the pills the night she got the finalized divorce letter.”
“Ah Fuck. Oh, sorry for the language Beth.”
“That’s alright, I hear much worse at the Hospice.”
“And she tried again, when, what happened?”
“It was probably six or seven months later, that’s the time she ended up in hospital.”
“Do you know why she tried again?”
“Greg, I don’t want you to feel responsible for any of this that we are talking about, alright? Promise me first that you understand that these attempts were not your fault.”
‘Okay, yes, but why are you worried about me?”
“Katie found out that you were in a relationship, that’s why she took the pills.”