I had just celebrated my 28th birthday with a romantic dinner with Janice, with what should have ended with a good night of sex back in her apartment. Instead, I am lying here alone, our six-month relationship over, and not a clue for where my life is heading.
If I’m being honest it all comes back to my ex-wife Katie. Even now she is still fucking with me.
Let me explain.
After I split with Katie I moved into the apartment I’m laying in now, I filed for divorce and tried to move on with my life. The divorce was done a year after, and I have not seen nor spoken to Katie since we split.
I will be honest that for the first eighteen months I had no interest in dating, in fucking, in anything to do with women. I buried myself in my work and enjoyed hanging out with my friends and family. But I was thankful for porn. A little too thankful sometimes.
It was John who insisted that I needed to get back on the horse, even if it was at a brothel. I agreed and did indeed go and spend three different occasions in one of those fine establishments. But just having sex was not the remedy I was seeking. It was real intimacy I craved and a brothel was never going to provide that.
Shani, yes her and John are still together and would indeed get married but I will get to that. Shani asked me if I would be willing to go on a blind date with a work colleague of hers named Vikki. She described Vikki as 23 years old, blonde and athletic. So with some encouragement from John I agreed.
Vikki and I went on a double-date with John and Shani who were engaged by this time, and it was nice. It was the first time since Katie that I enjoyed the company of and was attracted to another women, excluding the fine ladies at the brothel of course.
That date turned into another but without our chaperones this time. Within three weeks and about five dates later we were officially a couple. The sex with Vikki was good, she was as athletic in bed as she was out, and I was getting the intimacy I was craving.
What was great for me however, was that Vikki would cum during sex. Nothing crazy like waves of orgasms, but she could consistently orgasm at least once every time I was fucking her. To say that this was good for my male pride would be an understatement. After never being able to get Katie to have an orgasm during sex, then to find out she went and got that in the bed of another man, a part of me always blamed myself for not being able to give her that.
Now I knew that it was not that I was not good enough, it was just that Katie needed someone or something different to me to get there. For the first time in a year and a half I was starting to feel good about myself again.
We continued dating for a few more months but we started to hit a roadblock between us. That is that Vikki wanted to move in with me, she was dropping more and more hints and getting less subtle each time. You would think what is the problem then? A gorgeous and energetic 23 years old woman wanting to spend more time with you especially in the bedroom. Easy solution right?
The problem is that I did not love Vikki.
I liked her a hell of a lot, but I knew what it was to be in love with someone and I did not feel that way with her. I knew that having Vikki move in would make the inevitable split much harder. Up until now we were hanging out and having sex, it was easy. But after four months I was still not in love with her and I doubted I ever truly could be.
I decided not to string her along on a relationship that was never going to evolve, she deserved better than that. So, I had to break up my second serious relationship of my life, and they don’t get any easier although I was less emotionally invested this time.
About a month or so later John and Shani got married.
Of course I was the best man and had to give the speech about how lucky John was to have Shani in his life, and how lucky Shani was to have such a man-child in hers. Mark, Billy and Steve were there too of course. Us five musketeers had a few days earlier got well and truly put to the sword at the buck’s night with drinking and dancing.
Skye was in Shani’s bridal party, and Jane also attended the wedding. This was the first time I had been around any of Katies friends since we split, Shani excluded of course.
Both Skye and Jane came over to me together at my table during the wedding night, wanting to talk.
“Hi Greg, good to see you again.”
“Hi Skye, you look lovely in your bridesmaids dress. You too Jane.”
“Thanks, look I want to start by saying I’m sorry about what happened and how I acted, how we acted.”
Jane then spoke up.
“I know it’s probably of little consequence now but neither of us were happy at the time with how we were all treating you, we kind of just went along to not cause waves but we always felt crappy about it.”
“Look, that’s all in the past now. There’s no point rehashing it so what say we forget about that and just enjoy Shani’s big day?”
“Thanks Greg.”
As Skye and Jane went to walk away Skye stopped and came back to me.
“Can I ask you something Greg? It’s about Katie if you don’t mind.”
I looked up at her a few seconds pondering if I really wanted to go there right now.
“Okay, what is it?”
“Have you spoken to her at all over the last two years since you guys split up?”
“No.”
Skye looked hesitant, unsure whether to continue with her questions.
“Have you spoken to her mom, Beth, at all since then either?”
“No I haven’t. Is everything alright with Beth?”
I was hoping nothing had happened to Beth, she had always been very dear to me, as close to being another mom as a mother-in-law could be. Although I felt it would not be right for me to remain in contact with her after leaving her daughter.
“Oh no Beth is fine. I was just wondering if you had spoken with her recently?”
“No, what is this about Skye?”
Skye looked at me with an expression written across her face that screamed out that this was uncomfortable for her.
“Sorry, It’s okay. Forget I said anything.”
I nodded back and Skye turned and went to go catch up with Jane on the dance floor. Okay, this is going to eat at me for the rest of the evening now, thanks Skye.
After I finished off my glass of champagne, I decided it was my turn to dance with the bride. I stood up and went around the table behind John to hold my hand out and bow slightly to Shani.
“Would the lovely and most beautiful bride please do me the honor of dancing with the best man?”
John laughed and leaned over to Shani.
“You better watch him out there, he is definitely a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
Shani took my hand and stood up and responded.
“Maybe I like a little bit of wolf every now and then.”
John laughed as we started walking to the dance floor then yelled to us.
“Paws on her ass is fine wolf, but no breasts alright, they’re all mine!”
I just smiled back at John with my best evil grin, then walked onto the dance floor and took Shani in a close embrace. While John was very much a brother to me, Shani was also now very much becoming like a sister. Way more than just the new wife of my best friend. Shani was someone I could confide in, someone I could actually talk to about stuff guys cant talk to their friends about. Even as close as I was to John, it was just easier talking about relationships with Shani.
I had very low confidence and self esteem after I split with Katie, my male pride meant that I could not tell John about exactly why Katie had cheated on me, but I could talk to Shani. Although I did skirt around the precise reasons with Shani a little bit as well, she did help me to slowly get back to normal.
“You look fantastic Shani, the whole day has been terrific.”
“Thanks Greg, it has been everything I could have wished for. I’m so happy right now.”
“You look like you’re glowing. Welcome to the family.”
Shani then rested her head on my shoulder as we slowly moved around the dance floor.
“I saw you speaking with Skye and Jane earlier, do you want to share?”
“They just came over to say hello and that they were sorry for how they had acted before.”
“Good, better late than never. Did they say anything else?”
“Like what?”
Now I was starting to get curious, I know Shani and Skye are best friends so if there was something that Skye was not telling me earlier, I’m sure that Shani already knows what it is.
I had decided and Shani had agreed that after my marriage ended, we would not discuss anything about Katies life going forward. To me, we have gone our separate ways and I do not need or want to be kept up to date with what Katie is doing, who she is dating, where she is living. It was none of my business.
“We have an agreement remember Greg, do you want me to break it or would you rather we not discuss it further.”
I thought about it for a few moments. It sounds like something of note has happened with Katie otherwise both Skye and Shani would not want to bring it up. But it could be anything, she could be getting married to Jake, she could be pregnant, she could have left the country.
“No, I don’t need to know what is going on in her life. Let’s keep the agreement.”
“Okay.”
Then it occurred to me to ask if my life has been discussed with Katie. Was she being kept up to date with what I was doing or who I was with?
“I hope you haven’t been discussing my life with Katie though have you Shani?”
“No, of course not. The agreement goes both ways.”
“What about Skye and Jane, could they be sharing with Katie what’s going on in my life.”
“I don’t know, I do talk to them about you sometimes. But why would you care if Katie was being told anyway?”
“You’re right I shouldn’t. Forget about it.”
“Look I have rarely seen Katie since you guys split up, and I have not had a one-to-one conversation with her since then either.”
“Fair enough, look let’s talk about more important things. How drunk do you want me to let John get? Are you planning on consummating the marriage tonight?”
“Very much so! Can I trust you to make sure he makes it to the bedroom in a state that he can still perform in?”