I knew I had to explain more, so I said, “I think I understand it better now, though it’s not entirely clear, but when you said, ‘I love YOU’ I couldn’t handle it. We’ve talked about some of this: Am I lesbian? Am I bi-sexual? and hetero-sexual with lesbian tendencies? Am I pan sexual? poly-amorous?. All of this was running around in my mind. The bottom line was that I didn’t feel loveable by anyone and that anyone who tried to love me was going to be disappointed and I was going to be disappointed in myself.”
I wasn’t sure I made my point, so I continued, “Think about it, if I were in love with a woman and a man came along, maybe like you came along and I became attracted and attached, my woman would be in a fury to get rid of you and keep me. The converse is true, as well, only you’d probably want nothing to do with me and chase me into the arms of my woman who wouldn’t want me either. Where would that leave me?
It seemed to me Decker’s attention was drifting. I needed to get to the point, “I believe now that I have a solution. Two things clicked with me this past week. First, your analogy of the ice cream cones. I like, no I love, Chocolate, Strawberry, Vanilla, and Cherry ice cream all the same. My favorite is the one that I’m eating at the time. PERFECT! Second, Tanya told me of her marriage to a man who accepts her bi-sexuality, in fact supports it, while Tanya has fallen in love with a woman, a beautiful woman just like Tanya. She can do both because both people love her and accept her and support her. So, my solution is: Rather than be torn by my love of sex with men and women, I should embrace it and follow my heart.
Now was my chance, it was as if I were on a 10meter platform getting ready to dive into a pool when I didn’t know if there was any water in it. I said, “Decker, this is where my heart is now…I hope it is where yours is too…I’ve come to realize in this last week, Decker, that I love you! I LOVE YOU, Decker! I’ve also come to realize that I LOVE my new friend June! Tanya and Gladys already know that I LOVE them!”
I moved closer to Decker on the couch, reached out and put my hand on his shoulder and, gazing into his eyes, said, “Decker, the question now is: Do You Love Me? The next question is: Do You Love Me Enough for me to be in love with my women, whoever they might be?”
Decker look at me with some amazement, and said, “Lin! This all….well…all…a lot for me to digest. I hardly know what to say…and don’t take that as a ‘no’ or a ‘yes’. Let me let it sink in!”
I don’t know why I expected him to respond immediately but I understood that, with all of the other stuff going with him, giving him time was the right thing.
We polished off what was left of our tea and looked at each other. We not only looked tired..we were tired.
Decker suggested first what I was about to suggest, “Let’s sleep on it! Can I stay over?”
I took him by the hand and led him into the bedroom. That answered his question.
And, NO, we didn’t jump into bed and engage in lengthy and vigorous intercourse, also known as fucking. I wasn’t joking when I said we were tired…WE WERE! He climbed into bed and actually snuggled ourselves to sleep.
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It was almost a replay of the morning a week and a half ago. I woke up at 5:00 on the nose. There was enough light in the room to see Decker clearly. It had been another warm night so, as before, Decker was lying there naked, with his limp penis drooping between his legs. I stared at it and stared at it. I had that funny exciting feeling in my tummy. “It’s time to do something wicked again,” I said to myself.
This time I didn’t tease Decker’s cock like I did before. The last time I was experimenting as much as I had been playing. This time, though, I knew exactly what I was going to: There was an out-and-out blowjob in Decker’s future.
What can one say about blowjobs. There are really only a limited, if one thinks about it. Penis goes into mouth, mouth does some sucking often accompanied by stroking of the shaft, man ejaculates…and…end of. Well of course there are variations but nothing really alters the essentials of the process. But there is something exceedingly sexy with the cocksucker fully enjoys the experience and enjoys the man’s enjoyment.
In my case, that early morning, I set out to totally enjoy giving a man a blowjob. Yes, I had given my share of blowjobs…maybe more than my share considering Nawel’s desires…but many of them were voluntary, not because I like to do blowjobs, but I liked the man I was giving the blowjob to. Swallowing cum was hit or miss but to say I gave a blowjob because I liked swallowing cum would be a mistake. I didn’t swallow if I could help it and was rarely pleased if I did. I can’t remember giving any man a blowjob because I really wanted to swallow his cum…until that morning when I set out to exactly that.
I gently moved Decker’s legs apart and knelt between them. Miraculously, this did not wake him. I grasped his limp shaft in my hand and carefully raised it up and supported to I could apply my mouth to it. I lowered my head until my lips touched the head of his penis. This time there wasn’t any pre-cum because I hadn’t teased it out, so I had to lubricate the head of his cock with mouth. Somehow I remembered the head of his cock being smaller and my mouth bigger but this time it was the opposite. His cock may have swelled because I had a harder time getting it past my lips and into my mouth. That having been accomplished, I swirled my tongue around the glans and eased more of his head and shaft into my mouth.
Slowly I forced the his stiffening member deeper while stroking its shaft with my free hand. The more I did this, the stiffer his cock became. I surprised myself when I got virtually his whole shaft in my mouth and partially down my throat. I found that I relaxed, I could get it farther in without triggering my gag reflex. I felt my nose ticked by his pubic hair but I didn’t actually force my face against his pubis.
I could feel his member swell, so I repeated the process, withdrawing the shaft until the head was just inside my mouth and then forcing it into the back of my mouth. It became easier with each thrust because my saliva increased and I was sure there was that evanescent pre-cum mixing in with the other fluids.
Speaking of fluids, I recognized the sensation in myself, my loins were stirring and I knew my vagina was lubricating itself. I tested the opening between my labia with my idle hand and discovered that, indeed, my pussy was wet…wet enough to leak onto my pubic hair. My probing turned into a full manipulation of my clitoris. Now not did I have enjoyment from Decker’s cock in my mouth, I had the pleasure of my clitoris building–The Daily Double, I joked with myself.
You remember the old game, where you pat your forehead while you rub your tummy? Not easy was it! Well that’s essentially what I was doing here. Sucking and massaging Decker’s cock with my mouth and one hand and masturbating with the other. It took some concentration but in a way it made the sensations better…I was more aware of what I was doing and more aware of the sensations.