“Oh that’s totally fine, we’ll have plenty of time together later. You’re here till Sunday right?”
“Yep, great! I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” I say as I walk her out of the restaurant and give her a big hug.
‘Thanks for dinner, hun. Next time it’s on me.”
“Oh, you don’t have to, mom. I can easily afford to treat you to a few dinners.”
“Well, have fun and call me if you need a ride.”
“Okay, mom. I love ya.”
“Love you too.”
With that, she walks out and I head back into the bar. A seat’s still open next to that cute girl with the short hair. I walk over. “Is someone sitting here?” I ask.
She turns to me and her face lights up in surprise. “Kai?” she asks with a familiar voice.
“Yeah… Do I know you?” She looks familiar, but I definitely would remember meeting a girl like her.
“Well, it’s a little complicated… But you look good… Really good,” she says as her eyes travel up and down my body. “By the way, no is sitting there.”
I take my seat and face her. I look into her eyes to solve the mystery that is her. I feel like I know her, but I can’t put my finger on it right now. “Why’s it so complicated?”
She stares back at me and I can tell she’s nervous. “It’s… It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got all night.” She glances away for a moment, before looking back into my eyes.
“Fine… I… uh, how do I put this. I graduated with you.”
“I don’t remember you… What’s your name?”
“Well… It’s Noelle, but… I used to go by Logan.” I can’t help but blink.
“No way! It can’t be…” I look deep into her eyes. “Holy shit! I can’t believe it!”
“Yeah… I ah… I just want to say… I’m sorry… I was a total jerk to you in high school,” she says as she glances away. I’m still shocked at this revelation.
“Yeah, no kidding… You were definitely an asshole. I literally hated your guts. I still can’t believe how much you’ve changed. I would have never guessed in a hundred years that you would end up being transgender,” I admit.
“Yeah… Honestly, I kind of knew all along deep down. I think that’s why I was such an asshole to everyone. I wanted to make everyone think I was some kind of macho manly dude so they wouldn’t see the truth…” She looked away with the saddest expression. “The truth being that deep down I felt more like a girl, than a guy.”
“So that’s why you were so mean to me?” I ask, she looks back at me, staring deep into my eyes.
“No, not really. Honestly, I had the biggest crush on you and I sort of enjoyed being rough with you. Seeing you humiliated and embarrassed kind of turned me on. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to fuck you after I wrestled you to the grown and put you into a submission.” She had that sadistic look in her eyes, the same one I remember all too well in high school. “I know it’s fucked up and I’ve always felt so guilty about it. I really never truly wanted to hurt you, I just wanted you and I was afraid of what other people would think if I actually admitted my feelings, especially what you would have thought of me.”
“So instead you just continued to humiliate me?” I ask with a hint of sarcasm. “Definitely see the logic there.”
“Hey… High school was a confusing place. It’s really more like a ruthless prison than a place of learning. It just felt like you either had to be the bully or be bullied. I just wished I was more like you. You were never afraid to do the right thing or speak your mind.”
“Are you kidding me? I was deathly afraid of you and Devon. I avoided you both at all cost. I just hid behind sarcasm, not that it did me any good.” She grins at me with an innocent smile.
“I wish things could have been different. Maybe we could have been friends or something more.” She takes a long sip of her drink. “By the way, Devon is an asshole and I regret hanging out with him.”
“Haha, yeah I wonder how his life turned out so far… “ She lets out a laugh.
“He’s definitely a deadbeat somewhere, probably a bum.” We both share a laugh at that.
“By the way,” I tell her. “I don’t see why we can’t be friends now.”
“Maybe something more?” she asks. “I mean… I know you’re gay and I’m sure a transgender girl isn’t really your type… But… I still have a dick… so… I would gladly fuck that ass of yours! If that’s what you’re into. Besides, I’m sort of a dominant top, if you couldn’t tell.”
“I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m gay, I’m not gay,” I tell her.
“Really!? No way!” She looks at me in disbelief. “If you’re not gay then how come you’ve never had a girlfriend?”
“Because every girl thought I was gay!”
“Oh… I guess that makes sense… I’m so sorry. I feel so… stupid.” She looks down in embarrassment, tearing her gaze away from mine.
“Forget about it, you’re not the only one who makes that mistake.”
“So obviously that means you don’t want something more…”
“I never said that either, I mean… I don’t know. This is all so…”
“All so sudden? Confusing?”
“Yeah…”
“I understand if you want to take time and think about it.”
“You want to go for a walk?” I ask.
“Ah… Sure… Definitely. I’d love to.”
I wave the bartender over and put my credit card down. “I’ll get her tab as well.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Don’t sweat it.”
After I pay, we head out of the bar and stroll down the alley, making our way towards the main street through town.
“So… ah… What have you been up to since high school?” I ask as I shove my hands in my pocket, not sure what else to do with them.
“Well, that’s sort of complicated.”
“It seems like everything with you is sort of complicated.” She lets out a laugh.
“You could say that. Well, I was recruited by this private company to deal with problems after I graduated college.”
“So when did you start to transition?” I ask nervously. “If you don’t want to talk about it, don’t feel like you have to.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind talking about it,” she says as she lowers her gaze down to the pavement. We finally arrive on the main street and start making our way towards the drawbridge that separates the south side of town from the north side. “I actually started transitioning in college. I walked in on my roommate crossdressing. He thought I was going to freak out, but I completely understood. I kept his secret, eventually started asking questions. Finally, I partook in it and discovered how good it felt to wear women’s clothes. I think that’s when I finally realized, that this is who I really am.”
She paused after we made our way down the steps to the channel, looking out at the water… “When I finally got the courage to come out of the closet, it was rough. My teammates on the wrestling team didn’t accept me. I got bullied quite a bit from them. I ended up quitting. I guess… that’s karma for you.”
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. I reached over and grabbed her hand, interlocking our fingers together. She looks up at me, I can see the pain in her eyes. I brush a stray strand of hair from her face, softly rubbing my thumb against her cheek. She wraps her arm around my back. I lean in and place my lips against hers. My thumb continues to stroke the soft skin of her cheek as her tongue seeks entrance into my mouth. I let her in and our tongues embrace each other.