“The big cock was just a detour as I knew I was failing you. Instead of speaking with you, finding a way to work through our problems, I fantasied it would be a shortcut to ignite our love life. At least that’s what I told myself though my conscience told me that I should discuss that with you and only you. I ignored my conscience when it told me what you would do. I was so wrapped up in this stupid fucking fantasy I didn’t want to see the truth.
“Wendy knew how to help me as she had been in such a comfortable relationship. She and her husband had been like us. At least until they’d had a bloody big argument where all their pent-up feelings had come out. They’d hidden so much from each other as they didn’t want to be seen as a slut, a pervert or worse by the other. They found a therapist who specialised in couples. She has helped them build a better relationship, not just their sex life. Their sex life isn’t dull but it only involves them.
“I spoke with the therapist’s secretary and she told me what was needed. You would have to be onboard. She only deals with couples. It would give us a chance to rebuild better. Show us how to communicate better. My biggest failing is listening properly, to you, to my conscience.”
She laughed, “I may find out that’s the least of my problems. I would like you to consider this option.”
“I do mean it when I say I want to be the wife you deserve. I’ll never allow myself to have any thoughts about cheating. I won’t forget what this has done to us. The pain I see in you and the pain I feel will ensure I never contemplate anything so fucking stupid, self-centred and selfish ever again.
“The other reason was that I needed to see a solicitor to see my options as you had done. I presume Phil gave you the main ones.
“If you have decided to divorce me, adultery would be the quickest way to get rid of me. I have committed emotional adultery only. I haven’t fucked anyone other than you since we met and only one before.
“If this option is what you wish, I’ll find a single guy, arrange where to meet him and let you know so you can have the photos Phil may require. I’ll even let you take photos of us entering a hotel room. He’ll be aware from the start this is a set up. We won’t be having sex. According to my solicitor, we don’t need his name, just some evidence and my admission.
“Irretrievable breakdown takes a year of being separated.
“As I’m at fault, I’ll do which ever option you wish. I won’t ask for alimony or any form of support.”
I could see the tears just being held in check.
I started quietly, “Kat, I haven’t made any decision. I saw Phil to find out my options to see if that would help clarify anything. He recommended counselling as a first step. I’ve swayed between divorce and counselling so often this afternoon, it’s a wonder I don’t have seasickness!
“I want to believe we have a future but I can’t get the image of you fucking behind my back out of my mind.”
Kat stated calmly, concern in her voice, “Andy, I lost who I was for a while. What you truly meant to me. I constructed a stupid fantasy to shortcut us to a better sex life, a better marriage. I know now we both need to work to build a relationship which works for us.
“I know it is how I reacted to you over the last few months which has caused you to think I was fucking around. I haven’t fucked anyone behind your back. I’ll take a lie detector test if you wish.
“My word is meaningless just now but hopefully, I can regain your trust over time. Friday night was going to be the first and last time. Your words, your pain and my conscience all conspired to open my mind. When I told the girls about our sex life, it showed me how wrong I was in my fantasy. I only need you.
“Over the last few days, one thought has been foremost in my mind. Despite all the pain, I’m glad you caught me when you did. It stopped me doing something I would regret for the rest of my life. You were my soulmate. I want to have my soulmate back. To enjoy a better me, a more committed me.
“I’ll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you, if you give me the chance. I do love you.
“Whatever your decision, I think counselling would help us. I know I’ve been guilty in stopping you when you asked about my fantasies. They just involve you, no one else, but I thought if I told you, you’d think I was a slut. I need to know yours and not treat them like they are an imposition, a perversion. My lack of sexual confidence led me to this stupidity.
“If I can reach what Wendy has reached, I’ll never be so stupid again. You’d have such a happy smile on your face all the time.
“Wendy said the counsellor helped them communicate in ways they hadn’t thought possible. It made their marriage better and their sex life is all they would wish.”
I nodded, “I’ll think seriously about it.”
One part of me was thinking about something else entirely. In fact, he was trying to unzip my trousers. Kat did notice but thankfully, she stayed just far enough away to be enticing but not so close as to force the issue.
Okay, I admit, had there been no Friday night, had Kat walked around naked or in stunning lingerie, I would have been delighted, horny and fucked her stupid. I wanted to but I couldn’t. Meatloaf almost had it right, two out of three ain’t bad, but when the third is fucking Kat, you need all three.
I needed to get this clear in my mind. I understood I needed help.
I spoke softly, “Kat, make that appointment with the counsellor.”
She turned to me and was about to hug me when she stopped. My face must have said no. My penis was not happy.
“I’ll call tomorrow. Thank you.”
The evening continued. Kat sat in her yoga pose on the settee. If anything, the pantie clad pussy was more erotic than a naked one. The dampness was spreading.
Later, she put the settee into the bed. As I was about to head to the bedroom she said quietly, “Andy, I don’t know when I’ll need waxed again. If you wish, you can check each night and let me know what you think. I have some instructions so you can read them to make sure it is kept free from hair for you.”
I looked at her. My penis was all for a close inspection, a very close inspection.
Kat saw that, “If you need some relief from your blue balls, I’m happy to oblige. Whatever you wish, fuck, facial, tits, mutual masturbation. Whatever!” She brushed her nipples as she spoke causing them to elongate. I loved that bra! My mouth wanted to change places with it.
I said, “I’ll read the instructions first. Did they give any idea of how long it lasted?”
Kat smiled, “Perhaps three to four weeks before it’s long enough to repeat. It depends on the individual. It’ll take two or three repeats to understand the cycle. Over time the period will increase apparently.”
I left it like that. While I thought a facial would be good, my view of them was that they said you didn’t care about the woman. I may have been mad at her but I love Kat. I couldn’t do that to her. Even wanking over her tits, something we had done a few times when she had her period, felt in some way like debasing her.