“That’s good to know.” he smiled back. “Do you want another drink?” he asked. She nodded. The waiter walked past and Stephen called him over and ordered another soft drink. “What would you like, Sadie?” he asked, turning to her.
“Could I have a cup of tea please? Is that weird?” she asked, awkwardly. Stephen and the waiter both sighed a laugh letting her know that wasn’t weird. “Oh good, thank you.” she smiled. “I’ll just nip to the toilet.” she said to Stephen when the waiter left.
Her tea was waiting on the table when she returned. “Do you like teas?” she asked. He nodded. “I have this one at home that tastes like biscuits. I’ll bring you some next time.” she said with an excited smile.
Stephen raised his eyebrows and gazed at her with a fondness in his eyes, pleased she wanted to spend more time with him. He wanted to test the water further. “Next time, eh?” He tipped his head.
Sadie’s eyes darted towards his face to see him trying to hide a smug smirk. “Or I have no problem avoiding you for the rest of our lives until one of us dies.” She said flatly. Stephen shook his head and laughed while he nudged her leg gently with his knee.
“So, back to 2003…” Stephen said. Sadie hummed in agreement and smiled shyly, dipping her head and looking up at him cautiously. “By the time I finally plucked up the courage to decide to ask you out, during one of our brief checkout chats, you told me you were leaving to go to university in a few months so I thought I’d better not ask, save face and just get over it!” he said, looking down at her. “And then I met Jodie.” he said blankly.
Sadie’s forehead creased and her bottom lip stuck out in sadness as she turned towards him. “Awwww! Stephen!” she said quietly, rubbing her hand on his chest.
“What was stopping you from asking me? If you liked me that much!” he asked.
She shrugged. “I dunno…I didn’t think you liked me like that and then I heard you were seeing someone and I thought since I was going to uni…” she shrugged. “Talk about a missed connection!” she laughed.
“Well, aren’t we here now?” he asked with a nervous laugh. Sadie nodded and smiled fondly. They gazed at each other and Stephen put his arm around her waist and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were soft and she kissed him almost hesitantly at first. They gently kissed then maintained eye contact before kissing gently again. He slowly introduced his tongue into her mouth and her left hand instinctively rested on his left thigh. She matched his caresses with her tongue against his in a long, slow rhythm before they broke their kiss and gazed at each other. Stephen watched as she bit her bottom lip to hide a shy smile. Her lips were plump with the friction from his beard.
“Do you know what’s weird?” she asked softly as they gazed at each other still holding each other close.
“What?” asked Stephen, his heart racing while he tried to read her expression.
“That wasn’t weird.” she said slowly and quietly. “For me!” she added quickly, remembering herself. “Maybe it was weird for you?” she said urgently, sitting back and lifting her hand from his thigh.
Stephen resisted her movement by holding her reassuringly in his arm. “No, it wasn’t weird for me either.” he said, trying to sound calm and confident. She looked at him with a vulnerability in her eyes and he shook his head to reassure her. “Give me a hug.” he said softly, leaning down and wrapping his arms round her waist to allow her to slide her arms round his neck. They hugged tightly. “Relax!” he said as they pulled away. “Your shoulders are so tense. I can sort that out for you…” he tailed off when he noticed her shocked expression. “I mean cos it’s my job.” he said with a chuckle that felt nervous in the sudden awkward atmosphere. “Ok, now it feels weird.” he said.
She shook her head and her hands at him apologetically. “I don’t know why it does now. Sorry, Steve. I don’t want it to. Can we rewind 30 seconds?” she laughed nervously. He leaned in and kissed her firmly but softly, holding her body in his left arm and her face with his right hand. He felt her breathe in deeply and he stopped and opened his eyes.
She gazed at him and smiled fondly, nodding as he mouthed “OK?” at her and smiled. He looked around at the surrounding tables. “Next topic?” he asked, sliding his hand down her left thigh as he held his arm round her and let her relax into his embrace. She leaned against his body and he felt her sigh and relax. He lifted his drink from the table with his right hand.
“Do you miss being a chef?” she asked.
He tilted his head, considering his answer while he sipped his drink. “Ahh yeah, some bits of it. I don’t miss working for some absolute bastards of head chefs or working splits but I miss the opportunities I got to go places and I miss cooking for someone. It’s not the same cooking for yourself.” he said.
“You could cook for me!” she smiled.
“I could cook for you!” He nodded and smiled softly. “Yeah?” he asked. She nodded. “What would you like me to cook?… Actually, what’s your favourite…no, wait…what’s your death row request?” he asked.
“Ooohh good question! Easy! Roast, stuffed pork fillet with apple sauce – home made,” she said, pointing to emphasise the words ‘home made’. He held out his arms showing that was a given. “Dauphinoise potatoes and broccoli. Then rhubarb crumble & custard for dessert.” she said with a wide smile. “What about you?”
“Oh that’s proper, old school dinner. A woman after my own heart.” he said. “Mine would probably be Christmas dinner. Turkey, ham, stuffing, roasties, veg, cranberry sauce, the lot!” he said. “For dessert… an espresso Martini!” They both hummed in agreement at the same time and then laughed.
“Do you miss not…speaking English…?” he asked, chuckling at his phrasing.
Sadie laughed but nodded. “I do, you know. The idea of my lost potential haunts me.” she said in a light tone. Stephen’s eyes widened and he looked at her, stunned. “It’s the truth.” she shrugged. “Everyone has things they regret or ‘what ifs’ and I don’t usually because I believe the choices I’ve made in life were the right ones for me at the time I made them and it’s thanks to that I’m here now.” she said, looking at him. He nodded. “What I can’t accept is this one ‘what might’ve been’, just this one thing that I had no warning or control over and is the most defining change in the course of my entire life.” she said.
“Because it changed everything and you had no option to pursue what you’d originally planned?” he asked. She nodded and hummed in agreement as her brow furrowed in thought. “You did try to make it work, a good few times by the sounds of it.” he said. “Life kept putting out the buffers to keep you from it though. Do you believe in things being meant to be?” he asked. She nodded and smiled a thoughtful smile. He shrugged his shoulders and smirked.
“If I was granted a wish though, I’d wish to be able to see what life would’ve been like if I hadn’t been ill at that time.” she said.
“You’re certainly determined!” Stephen chuckled.