“Shanda, baby I’m so sorry,” Grayson said as he pulled her to him to hug her tenderly. “I’m nothing like Chad, but I get that I’ll have to prove that to you. All I ask is that you give me the chance to. I love you and I meant what I said when I told you that it’s with singular devotion. No one else and nothing else would come before you. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to make sure you’re happy and provided for in all the ways you need.”
In Grayson’s arms Shanda knew in her heart that his words were true. If he could be patient and understanding with her, she could work on dismantling her need to carry every burden on her own. So, for the first time since she had last laid her head against her father’s chest, Shanda shut her eyes, relaxed, and believed.
**********
On the ride to the airport, Shanda finally asked the question Grayson had been secretly dreaded answering.
“So mentioned that you had problems with monogamy in other relationships but you never said how all this started for you.”
Despite Grayson’s assurances to Shanda, he was scared. It had been a long time since he had felt this way about a woman. It had been even longer since he had dated anyone outside the lifestyle who mattered enough for him to open himself up to offer a glimpse of his world. He worried how Shanda would take it. Would she be scared, disgusted, intrigued, turned on, or would she jump on a moral high horse? He didn’t know and that left him feeling unsettled.
He was only hoping for openness at this point. She was here with him, taking this trip despite her reservations. She was trying. She didn’t balk at the idea or turn him down flat, so that was something. The way he felt about her, he could absolutely see being with her for the long haul. Hell she had his nose so open that he could even entertain the notion of monogamy with her, but he wasn’t confident enough in his past to take that chance. He figured it was just best to lay all his cards on the table by telling the truth and allowing the chips to fall where they may.
“I had been in a relationship with Lucinda for about three and a half years. Things were good between us. Lucinda was pregnant with our son and working on her thesis in sports medicine while I was steadily climbing the ranks in the military. I was happy and in love. I had even been seriously considering marriage. Then I met Jasmine,” Grayson said with a self-deprecating shake of his head.
“Jasmine had been a new lieutenant on the base and fine as fuck. I wasn’t in love with her. It was just base attraction and it was mutual,” Grayson explained. He didn’t add that it only took two days before he had her bent over some stacked pallets behind the barracks fucking her where anyone could have walked up on them together.
“I made up lies and changed my schedule to create alibis to cheat with Jasmine and keep Lucinda placated. It worked up until Jasmine decided she wanted a more permanent situation with me that we had never discussed. Jasmine did a little digging. She found out where Lucinda and I lived off base and where Lucinda worked. Jasmine made it her business to come to Lucinda ‘woman to woman’ to share text messages and pictures with Lucinda that brought all my bullshit to light. The damage had been irreparable. Lucinda packed her belongings and moved with our newborn son on the other side of the country. Our relationship never recovered. I regret that more than I can tell you.”
“At first I blamed Jasmine but that didn’t keep me from fucking her, making her believe she had won a prize while I systematically fucked my way through her circle of friends and her coworkers. She screamed, hollered, stalked, damaged property, and cried. I laughed, Grayson said with a grimace. “I didn’t have not a single solitary fuck to spare. I’ll admit it was not my finest moments but I told you I can be an asshole under the right circumstances.”
“Yes, you did. So that experience made you decide to pursue open relationships?” Shanda asked.
“Yes, but not immediately. One of Jasmine’s coworkers who I had gotten sexually involved with was named Elisha. She put me in check and in time she became the catalyst in how I navigated my future relationships.”
“And how did she do that?” Shanda inquired.
“She called me on all my bullshit. She wouldn’t listen to me play victim in a situation I’d created,” Grayson said with a chuckle as he shared a memory with her.
**********
“You know you brought all this damn drama on yourself right? If you like fucking other people you need to say that from the beginning,” Elisha said with more than a little attitude. She had come to fuck not sit and listen to this nigga play a sad song over and over like he hadn’t done a damn thing wrong.
“So I guess hubby knows you’re here,” Grayson said, taking note of the bridal set on her left hand.
“As a matter of fact he does. He knows exactly where I am and what I’m doing. No one can blow up our spot or drop a bombshell on our relationship,” Elisha said matter-of-factly. “It’s only cheating if they don’t know and don’t agree.”
Grayson scoffed at that. “Jasmine was crazy.”
“That’s a lie and you know it. Jasmine wasn’t crazy. She was typical; a fucking stereotype just like you. She didn’t owe your girlfriend loyalty. You did. The way you maneuver gives side bitches the power to fuck your entire world up every time. Which by the way she did, playboy.”
Grayson ignored the jibe. “So for real. Your husband knows you’re fucking me and has no problem with it?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Look, she said, opening her phone to show Grayson his name along with the GPS location to where they were meeting.”
“So what happens when you go home? How is that not weird, him knowing another man fucked you?” Grayson asked.
“Honestly? When I get home he will fuck me ten times better because he knows another man has been in his pussy,” Elisha answered. “It’s hotter than you can even imagine.”
“Wow, that sounds hard to believe,” Grayson said, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Your dick says otherwise so don’t knock it. We weren’t always this way. We both cheated and caused a lot of hurt and damage to ourselves and to the people we got involved with. But we loved each other and we wanted to work it out so we went to a marriage counselor, both together and separately. It was there that we were asked the question that changed our lives.”
“What was the question?” Grayson asked.
“After learning our past relationship history, he asked if we had ever considered a relationship dynamic other than traditional monogamy. We’d never thought about it. Mainstream society doesn’t teach us to think about marriage in anything but the traditional way. It took some time because neither of us wanted to be the first one to say that monogamy wasn’t for us. We had to change how we defined ourselves and our marriage. We had to understand that our marriage was still valid and beautiful in its own right even if it didn’t follow traditional norms.”
“What did you do? How did you work it out?” Grayson asked, clearly intrigued.