Sara and I were complete virgins, never even kissed before our wedding day. I know that sounds crazy, but it was what we as Christians felt was the best way to do it. However, that does not mean we were ignorant of what we were going to be doing together…heck no. In fact, we had actually exchanged quite a few rather lengthy emails, discussing sex and marriage and what we felt was right and wrong, and being honest and frank with each other as much as we could.
Why do I bring this up? I guess just to make the point that we felt that communication was vitally important to our growth as a couple. Too often I have read and heard of young couples going into the start of their lives together with no clear idea between the two of them as to exactly what their intimacy should look like…which can lead to frustrations and disappointments right off the bat. And while I can truly say that there really is no teacher like experience, a bit of background work beforehand goes a long way in prep for the experience.
So, I suppose my advice to others would be to wait, as far as actually doing anything with each other, but don’t be shy in talking about it beforehand. It can make all the difference in the world.
The rest of the day passed by in a bit of a blur. Partly just because of the whirlwind nature of such things, but also undeniably because of the anticipation that we both were definitely feeling. It was like the day was going by too slow and not slow enough…which makes no sense at all, but that’s what hormones do, you know? I couldn’t stop looking at her, and she kept blushing and smiling whenever she looked at me…which always made every thought fly clean out of mind. With the predictable result that by late afternoon both our families were doing their best to get on the road. And leave us to ourselves….
We had booked a cabin there in the park, and after staying the night we would be heading south for our honeymoon…which would hopefully be less stressful than simply trying to take off at once.
So as the sun was sinking into the west, we said our goodbyes and gave hugs all around, and Sara and her Mom were laughing and crying together, and my Dad grinned at me and shook hands, and then they were all piling into their vehicles there in the parking lot and driving off, and we stood and waved, bathed in the golden glow of the sunset, till they had gone around the bend, and finally, we were alone.
Alone together. What a delightful paradox. I glanced at her, so lovely it made my heart hurt to look at her, and offered my hand. She took it and we slowly walked back to our car, not saying anything, just feeling each other’s presence.
I opened her door and she slid gracefully into the seat, and then I went around and got in.
I glanced at her. She looked at me.
“Hey,” I said softly, as if meeting her for the first time. “I’m Josh. I’m your husband.”
She smiled a very pretty smile. “I’m Sara,” she murmured. “I’m your wife.”
“You wanna go?” I asked.
She swallowed and nodded a little. Her hands were folded tightly in the lap of her dress, rustling against the satin as she squirmed a little. I know my heartrate was going up, and I had to take a deep breath to quell the sudden nervousness that hit us.
After all this time, we were gonna do it. Finally, no barrier stood between us, and with a rising tide of excitement I revved up and turned down the road to the cabins.
The cabins were small, but very cozy, with a snug living room and open kitchen/dining area, serviced of course by a massive stone fireplace, and the single bedroom and attached bath behind. Before we got there, somebody in our group had already spruced things up, and even had a fire going behind the glass panels, to keep the heat in but let out light.
When we pulled in, I could see the firelight dancing through the windows, and something about the cheery, homey warmth of it gave me an idea. I shut off the engine and got out, opened her door and handed my blushing bride out of the car. She smiled at me again in the gathering evening, and I raised her hand to my lips.
“I love you,” I whispered, and then, impulsively I bent and swept her up off her feet. She gave a little shriek and a laugh, and her arms went around my neck to hold her secure…which also gave me a perfect view down into the shadowy cleavage under her dress. I swung her up easily, she’s very light, and strode up to the cabin door.
“I know it is only for tonight, but,” I said, as I opened the door and stepped in, carrying her across the threshold, “welcome home, my love.”
She looked at me and her eyes got teary in the warm light, and she buried her head in my neck with a little sigh. I carried her to the door of the bedroom, and as I set her down I saw that the end table lamps where the only lights on, creating a soft, warm light that was perfectly gentle.
We stepped into the room, her in that lovely dress and me in my tux, and just stood there for a moment, looking around. The silence was deafening, and I thought for sure she could hear the blood pounding in my ears.
The warm light played softly across her features as she quietly looked around the room. The skin of her shoulders and neck was so smooth, so inviting…I just wanted to kiss her and take her right then. But I was extremely nervous; this was the first time I had ever been alone with a woman, a woman I had a right to, and my mouth went dry.
She was standing beside the bed, kind of just looking at it, when I gently laid my hands on her shoulders from behind. Sara jumped and gasped, looking back at me with her blue eyes wide and dark, and the skin under my hands was so warm and soft and smooth…