“It’s true,” Cal replied, then taking a large bite from a sandwich as he sat, for once not disguising his height, staring them all down.
“We’re not going to deny it, guys,” M shrugged, smiling somewhat arrogantly. “And she didn’t shoot me down. She panicked because my attentions seemed incongruous with her understanding of herself, and she fled without actually giving me an answer.”
“Incongu-what?” Barry blanched, his brain clearly short-circuiting.
“Incongruous,” Calvin smugly replied after swallowing. “It’s when you encounter an event or information that clashes with what you believe to be true. Apparently, Jane still believes that she is one of the class’s outcasts, and therefore M approaching her must be some kind of setup.”
“Poor little girl,” I sympathized. “You dipshits ever stop to think about how she has felt, all these years? You talk about her without her knowing, and none of you tries to understand her. No one tries to breach the silence, so she closed herself off to your entire grade because she can’t trust anyone. We figured all this out in twenty fucking minutes.”
“Well maybe, but-” The speaker was interrupted by M.
“That’s why we’re coming right out with it. My bros and I want her. She’s beautiful and unique, the perfect mix of elements to appeal to all three of us. It’s been our plan to find a shared girlfriend since before we even came to this school.”
“And since we’re staking a claim, I’ll offer my solemn word as the biggest motherfucker on campus that she’s off-limits and we will protect her.” Cal resumed eating, and there was another pause before some chucklehead went off. It was like no one could believe this massive change in demeanor and they had to ruin it.
“Are you three doing it with each other?” The asshole mocked, laughing like he’d said the cleverest thing at the table. He got a smattering of guffaws, but they were half-hearted and none of the three of us laughed.
“So what if we were?” M was the first to respond. “You got a problem with gay men? Bisexuals? Are you using bigotry for laughs because you’ve got absolutely nothing else to offer?” His tone was snippier than my pretty bro usually got, but I didn’t disagree with him. There might’ve been something more to it, but… everyone knew M wasn’t like that. He didn’t tolerate this kind of shit and he never made fun of anyone. He also refused to laugh at racist or sexist ‘humor’.
The guys around us shifted uncomfortably.
“Wouldn’t stop us from wanting Jane, would it?” Cal asked them with a hint of threat in his words. Honestly this was literally the most he’d ever talked to anyone besides us. “You want the truth? We plan to share her, yeah. Because life without our bros sounds unbearable, yet all three of us definitely want a woman and kids. We just didn’t want completely different, separate lives. So what do we do? Next-door neighbors, always? Big extended Full House family? No. No, we find our girl. Our wifey. Sure, I thought it was a little ridiculous. Until today.”
“Miracle of miracles, she arose from the ether. Our perfect princess. Honestly I thought it would take longer- mid-twenties maybe, when people are really finding out who they are, you know?” The glorious blond said. I finished us off.
“That woman has got to be tough, strong, energetic, unique, capable, smart, sexy, and completely up to taking on life with three fucking hubbys who all want attention together and one-on-one or two-on-two. You have any idea how much of a freaking unicorn a chick like that is?”
I’d been louder than I meant to be as I stood up before them, almost unaware of it.
“But how the fuck could you know it’s Jane from one encounter with her? Especially when you didn’t even know who she was?” Another dude spouted off.
“Easy. She snagged the attention of all three of us, first with her style, and then with her honest reactions to my approach. We saw much more than you might think this morning, including how vulnerable she truly is.” Mickey was a guy who wore his heart on his sleeve, and he was also a valiant knight on a white stallion sometimes. Healing whatever heartbreak Jane still carried had become number one priority on his list. “We didn’t have any preconceived ideas of who she was, and no history between us means we can start at square one.”
“Which brings me back to the action,” I then prompted, bringing my boast from earlier full circle. “What are you guys putting up? Jane’s our prom date and girlfriend by summer, three-to-one odds for. Taking all bets for cash or goods. I will happily pay up, win or lose.” Out came a notebook with all the brazen bets I’d already gotten. Everybody likes long odds, apparently, or most didn’t believe anyone could get through to our pretty little Jane.
Despite me trying to tell them, don’t bet against us, no no. They insisted. I was especially excited to collect on the guy who offered to put up a half ounce of weed that we’d fail.
***
Jane
Oh God, oh God, oh God. I’d hallucinated that this morning, right? There’s no way in hell the most lusted after, beautiful, popular, and apparently richest, sweetest boy in the school had asked me out.
Nope, nope, nope. Hadn’t happened. If anyone asked… I just had to brush it off. ‘Oh come on, that guy is out of my league‘ or ‘You think he could really be seen with me?’ I was nothing. No one. Just some outcast everyone had relegated to the sidelines at last, at least until some gorgeous popular prep subverted the divide between us. I still didn’t get it. Yeah, I judged him so fast it snapped my head around this morning, and I did feel bad about that. But it didn’t add up! He was the one every girl wanted- someone I had no hope of bagging. Someone who caught sighs in the hall, and no, I had never heard a single bad word about him. Girls definitely talked about that stuff, even if it wasn’t with me.
There were a couple other pieces of the puzzle though. Mickey Smith’s friends, both of whom had been in class with him today. The short one had practically salivated as he saluted me, and then there was the big guy… A Jock. Someone I had even less of a chance with. He’d stared into me like he was reading my soul, and the part of me that was enjoying Dracula that morning was the same part of me responding to the unspoken message there.
Plus, that little hand-kiss, that cheek stroke? Tingles. Everywhere, and that really scared me. No guys were so… forward with me, and not only had M outright expressed interest, his friends seemed… in on it.
I put my head down in my fifth period study hall, after lunch, and only half-listened to the sounds of students around me. If anyone knew about the incident, no one approached me. I had no idea what people were going to hear or say, though.
A couple minutes went by as I idly stared at the two books I now had out from the library- the copy of the late Victorian vampire tale, and a collection of Poe. The books made me feel safer, and once I calmed down from the panic I found myself unable to shake, I could go right back into them until I could escape to my PE class.