Happy Birthday to Me by Daddydick89
14-year old Jeff gets a birthday surprise from his 17-year old step-sister Kesha , My name is Jeff and today is my 14th birthday. I should be excited about today being my birthday, but since I have no friends and no special plans for today, I’m sure today is going to suck.
Normally, my dad would take me to a Cubs game, or to Magic waters waterpark for my birthday. But after my mom kicked him out 2 years ago for being a raging alcoholic, he’s stopped seeing me altogether.
Since then, my mom has moved on and was remarried last summer. She married a black guy named Lewis. He’s pretty cool, I guess. He doesn’t give me any shit and he’s always buying me stuff. In fact, I bought me a brand new cell phone for my birthday.
But his 17-year old daughter Kesha is the step-sister from hell. It’s bad enough when the other kids at school tease me for being a nerd, but Kesha tends to take it even further. Especially, when her hot friends are around. Like the time she and a few of her hot friends were in the backyard laying by the pool, while I sat on a lounge chair pretending to be playing on my phone. But I was secretly checking out their hot bodies, when Kesha blurted out “Look you guys, my perverted ass step-brother has a boner. The sick fuck was probably checking me out” Causing all of them to laugh at me, as I ran up to my room.
I wish I was older, so I could be strong enough to put her in her place. But with me being 5′ 7″, 120 lbs. Compared to her being 5′ 4″, 155 lbs, with huge 38-c cups and a huge backside, I would be no match for her.
But that wasn’t the worst part. The reason why Lewis and my mom both gave me my birthday presents last night, is because they were headed to my uncle’s cabin for the weekend. Leaving me home alone on my birthday weekend with the step-sister from hell.
*
I was playing Call of duty on my PS4 when I cracked my bedroom window to let some air in. Then about 5 minutes later I smelled something weird coming through the window. When I went to the window to see what the smell was, I saw Kesha and her best friend Tanya smoking a joint. I knew that she had sworn to her father that she had stopped smoking, after getting suspended from school last month, for being caught with weed in her school locker.
I figured I could snap a few pics of her smoking again, which would give me all the leverage I needed to blackmail her, but more importantly, get her off my fucking back.
So I took a few pics and a video of her hitting the joint before I headed downstairs to make my demands.
I was really nervous, but after taking a few deep breathes, I stepped out onto the patio, full of confidence, knowing that I had her right where I wanted her.
Her best friend Tanya saw me first. She was nudging Kesha on the shoulder, while she was looking down at the joint she was rolling. “Kesha, your step-brother can see you”
Kesha didn’t even bother to stop rolling her joint when she said: “What the fuck are you looking at, you fucking pervert?”
I knew I had to stand my ground. So with my phone in hand, I walked towards Kesha and said “I’m sure your dad would just love to see my video of you smoking pot again.
I was feeling quite confident that this would shake her to her core, knowing that I’d outsmarted her.
But Kesha was unfazed by it all. Instead, she continued licking her joint and twisting the ends, before passing it to Tanya. Then she walked up to me and snatched my phone from my hand and throwing it up against the wall, causing it to break into pieces. Then she grabbed me by the neck and said “Fuck you and your video” Right before she kneed me in the nuts.
I dropped like a sack of potatoes. As I picked myself up from the ground, I slowly walked back inside the house. I was in a lot of pain, but I refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
I sat in my bedroom for the next few hours, thinking back on my failed plan. “Why didn’t I make a backup copy of the fucking video?” I said to myself, as I paced back and forth in my bedroom.
*
It was now dinner time and I could smell the aroma of Kesha’s fried chicken. As bad as I wanted to go downstairs to eat, the mere thought of seeing my step-sister made me sick.
I was playing my video game when I heard a knock at the door. It was Kesha telling me that dinner was ready.
“Dinner is ready, birthday boy! I made your favorite. Fried chicken wings, homemade mac n cheese, and corn on the cob. I even made you a strawberry cheesecake from scratch.
I thought to myself “FUCK, that sounds delicious! But I still ain’t budging”
She continued to knock for several more minutes, before finally giving up. Then a few minutes later, I heard something scratching at my door. Then suddenly, my door flung open. Kesha had used her debit card to unlock my door. Which frustrated the hell out of me.
“Get the fuck out of my room, Kesha. I have nothing to say to you” I say as I fold my arms and shoot her the meanest look I could muster.
But she just smiled and hopped on my bed right next to me, like we were buddy-buddy and said: “Are you still mad about what took place earlier?”
“Of course I’m still pissed at you. Not only did you destroy my brand new phone, but you’re always picking on me for no reason at all. We’re supposed to be brother and sister. But you treat me like an enemy. What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me?”
I expected for her to sass me like she normally does. But instead, she held my hand and said “I don’t hate you, you fuckin weirdo! I only fuck with you because you’re my little brother. And as your big sister, it’s my job to make you tougher.”
I wasn’t buying that bullshit.
“So, how does embarrassing me in front of your friends, supposed to make me tougher? I said as I jumped up off my bed.
She stood up with me, then placed her hands on my shoulders and said “Okay, okay! Sure, I may get a little carried away at times. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you, you little shit” Before, playfully punching me in the shoulder. “So, can we finally stop all this bickering and go downstairs for your birthday dinner?” She said as she grabs my hand and pulls me out of my room.
“Okay, sis!” I say as I run towards the smell coming from the kitchen.
*
Kesha had really gone out of her way to whip up my favorite meal. Everything was delicious. Especially, the strawberry cheesecake.
We were clearing the dinner table when Kesha asked me “What else are you going to do for your birthday?”
Reminding me how much my life really sucked.
“I don’t have any plans for tonight. Other than playing my video games.”
Kesha looked at me and shook her head, as she took the dishes from my hands, placed them on the table, then lead me out to the back patio.
“You’re not about to have a crappy birthday on my watch, lil brother,” She said as she pushes me down on a lounge chair. Then she reaches in between her tits and pulls out a joint and a lighter and say’s “I think it’s time for you to unwind with me” She’s say’s as she sparks up the joint, puffs if a couple of times, then passes it to me.