“You won’t need to punch a time clock,” Mary Lou said. “You’re going to be a full time salaried employee with life and health insurance, social security. The whole nine yards. We will have it all set up with our attorney and accountant by this time next week. Your official title will be Groundskeeper.”
“Your unofficial title will be Stud Muffin,” Priscilla said and caressed my butt.
“I can’t believe you guys are doing this all for me.”
“Pure selfishness on our part,” said Rose.
My official job as Groundskeeper started the very next day and I was moved into an upstairs bedroom by the next weekend. That didn’t take much doing, just my clothes and some personal items. The bedroom was over twice as large as my one at home and even had its own bathroom. The whole upstairs was almost as large as my parents’ house not counting the kitchen and the garage. It could actually feel lonely up there.
I was prepared to work my butt off for Rose, Priscilla and Mary Lou to earn my wages and make them glad they hired me. I got up before sunrise to do exactly that. I figured that I could get a couple of hours of work in before anyone else was up. They would be so proud of me.
“Good morning,” Rose said when I got downstairs. Priscilla and Mary Lou added their greetings. I greeted them in return and wondered how long they had been up. Maybe I didn’t want to know. It looked like they already had their breakfast.
“Go tell Mrs. Rodriguez what you want for breakfast and then come back and sit down,” Mary Lou instructed.
I said, “I’ll just get some cereal I brought from home and then I can get started on my chores.”
“You don’t want Mrs. Rodriguez thinking you prefer Cocoa Krispies to her cooking,” Rose said.
“That’s for sure,” Priscilla added. “She’s got a set of knives that are wicked sharp. Any one of them can carve your guts out in nothing flat if she feels insulted.”
It didn’t seem worth pointing out that the cereal I brought was Count Chocula and not Cocoa Krispies. I just nodded and walked into the kitchen. Mrs. Rodriguez had 30 years experience as a short order cook and whipped out bacon, eggs, hash browns and pancakes in no time at all. It was all delicious. I didn’t even care that she had already tossed out my Count Chocula. She told me she came in every morning and prepared meals for the entire day. Her sister was the housekeeper who dressed like a maid when they had guests. The ladies seemed happy to talk to each other while I ate. When I finished I announced my intention to start my chores.
“Stay here and talk for a while,” Rose said.
“But I want to get some chores done. Earn my pay, you know?”
“You’re not punching a time clock, remember? You’re earning your pay by just sitting there and keeping us company.”
“I don’t know what to talk about. You three already know all there is to know about me.”
“That’s bullshit,” Priscilla said.
“Exactly,” Mary Lou added. “My sisters and I grew up together, stayed in contact with each other during our married lives and have lived together again for almost the past five years or so. We can still have decent conversations together. Even indecent ones.”
“All we really know about you is that you’re a high school graduate and that you’re good in bed.” That was Priscilla.
“Isn’t being good in bed enough?” The ladies giggled and shook their heads.
“It’s a good start,” said Rose. “C’mon, Max. It’s not that hard. We’re here to help.”
Maybe easy for them, but not for me. After a moment of panic I started telling them about video games I liked to play and why I liked them. I stretched that out for half an hour. That seemed to satisfy the ladies. They finally let me go out and do some chores. After lunch they all wanted to have sex with me again. I loved that part, but I couldn’t help feeling I wasn’t earning my pay with a three hour work day in my way of thinking.
The next morning started out the same way except the ladies wanted to hear about something different and they were not happy with just half an hour. They wanted a longer discussion although they did help me out by asking a lot of questions. They also taught me how to ask questions that promoted more conversation and to sound interested in what the other person was saying even if I didn’t have a clue about what he or she was saying. I learned a lot over the following weeks and I actually started to enjoy having conversations. They also told me more about themselves and I got to see pictures of them from their younger days. They were definitely beauties.
The ladies used taxis and Uber to get around town since they didn’t drive any more. I still rode my bike, but when I told Rose I had my drivers license and knew how to drive a car I became their driver to all their appointments like to the doctor or the hairdresser or to their lunches out with friends at fancy restaurants. They had a big, old Cadillac that was built like a tank. It looked like it was from the 1950s, you know? But it still looked like it just came off the showroom floor. It became my job to keep the car looking that way. They gave me a smart phone with some games I liked and I would hang around a nearby mall or something like that until I got a call when it was time to pick them up.
Sometimes they would just want to eat lunch at a fast food restaurant and that’s when I would join them. This one time it was at an In-N-Out. I was bringing back our order when I saw a young woman talking to the ladies. She was an attractive brunette around my age. I nodded to her after I set down our meal.
Rose said, “This gentleman is our groundskeeper Max. Rachael works for the physician the three of us go to.”
“A pleasure to meet you,” I said.
“I remember you,” Rachael responded. “From Roosevelt High, right?”
“That’s right.” I knew she looked familiar.
“Hey, Rachael,” Priscilla said. “Are the girls at that high school you went to a bunch of lesbians?”
“Of course not. The majority of us were straight as far as I know. Why do you ask a question like that?”
“Well, it seems that Max couldn’t get a date with a girl at that school on a dare.” I could feel my face heat up with embarrassment. I felt like running away, but I stayed. I figured it couldn’t get any worse than it already was.
“Max never asked me out, but from what I was told he could have gotten a date if he had spent a little time talking to the girl and letting her get to know him. He stopped asking after a while so we all assumed he finally had a girlfriend.”
“Too bad for them,” said Mary Lou. “They missed out. He’s really great in bed.” Now I was wishing I could just die right there.
Rachael giggled. “And how would you know something like that?”
The ladies didn’t say anything. They just smiled.
“Oh my god! All three of you? That’s wonderful!”
“One right after another non-stop practically,” Priscilla said. “You should try him out if you don’t believe us.”
“Oh, I do believe you.” Rachael responded. She turned to me with a smile. “Maybe we can get together for coffee some time. That is, if you’re interested.”
I couldn’t believe this pretty woman was suddenly interested in me. All I could do was nod my head. Rachael picked up my phone off the table and typed in her name and phone number.