As I entered the house, Brianna sort me out asking me questions about something she had just seen on TV, I tried my best to answer her as I made my way into the lounge room being dragged in there by my daughter. Brittany was laying on the couch, with little Tommy asleep in her embrace.
As I made eye contact with her, we both looked at each other for a few moments before Brianna forced my gaze away. I sat down on the floor with my daughter watching the animal documentary that was on the TV, answering her many questions along the way. When it was over, I told Brianna it was time for bed, to go brush her teeth and that we would be in there shortly to say goodnight.
I went over to Brittany and picked up Thomas from her embrace, he didn’t even stir as I carried him upstairs to his bed. After saying goodnight to Brianna, I returned downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. I was starving, having missed out on lunch when I was home earlier today.
“Your dinner is in the oven, it should still be hot enough.” As Brittany stood in the doorway to the kitchen.
“Thanks.” As I grabbed a cloth so I could take the hot plate out, placing my dinner on the kitchen table.
“Would you like a scotch with that?”
“No thanks, I’m all good tonight.”
Brittany stood there in the doorway for a good minute while I began to eat my meal, as if waiting for me to discuss what had happened at lunch time. I was more than a little confused about everything that happened, I didn’t know how to even begin talking about it with her.
Eventually she stepped over to where I was sitting and rested her hand on my shoulder.
“I’m going upstairs to read. Good night, Billy.”
“Good night.”
As Brittany then went upstairs to her bedroom, I was left thinking about all the things I could’ve said, that I wanted to say, but there were way too many thoughts running through my head.
The most worrying thoughts were about Brittany bringing her lover into our home, being so open about going out to meet with him or to fuck him here. It would be so easy for her to now ask me to leave, to have him replace me. The fear of being separated from my family was my greatest concern.
The most confusing thoughts I had wasn’t about watching her enjoying herself having sex, but that we stared into each other’s eyes while she was fucking him. That it seemed to help her to enjoy it more. It’s almost like she took it as a sign of acceptance or approval, when really it was just me trying to understand why she was doing it, to get some sense of how she felt seeing me watching her fuck her lover in our own home.
This whole encounter left me feeling more than a little emasculated, something I wasn’t used to feeling, ever. What I couldn’t understand is if she was doing it on purpose, or was it just that I witnessed something I wasn’t meant to see?
I found it hard getting to sleep that night, it was hard trying to get my brain to quieten enough so that I could rest. I awoke in the morning with little Tommy jumping on my bed, telling me to get up.
Regardless of what I saw yesterday, life rolls on. We all went grocery shopping later that morning, anyone who has dragged a five and three-year old through a grocery store will know the constant hassle of trying to stop them from doing bad things, like their sole purpose is to test your resilience and patience.
For lunch we again took the kids to the park, letting them play while Brittany and I sat on the bench watching them. We still hadn’t discussed yesterday’s events, it was like we were both trying to pretend it didn’t happen, at least I was. It would most likely create friction between us if I told her of my true concerns.
Later that afternoon Brittany again asked me to mind the kids while she went off to the movies with a friend. It seemed that she was seeing her ‘friend’ probably three times a week now at least. It’s almost like she’s single and this guy is her regular boyfriend. I looked up into Brittany’s eyes, I’m sure she could read the discomfort I felt by her request.
“It’s just the movies, Billy. Nothing more.”
I kept her gaze, then slowly nodded ‘yes’. I wasn’t sure what else I could do at this point. It’s not like she would stop seeing him if I’d said ‘no’, or that I wouldn’t be here to watch over the kids anyway.
The following week began a bit hectic and stressful with my work, we had three jobs going which wasn’t unusual for us, but two of them now required major alterations, which meant getting guys back on site who had already completed their work. Just the amount of coordinating resources and contractors to make sure it ran smoothly was where the stress was.
By Wednesday afternoon I got a text from Brittany again asking me to look after the kids tonight as she’s got a date. This was the first time she actually used the word ‘date’. It was my week to be picking up the kids from daycare anyway, so I replied with ‘okay’.
Again, she didn’t get in until around midnight, and just as with last week, she went straight to the bathroom before going to bed.
Her Saturday nights at the movies and Wednesday night fuck sessions seemed to be becoming a routine for her and her ‘boyfriend’. I wasn’t even sure what to call this guy. It made me wonder if the Friday lunchtime session was a routine for them also.
So, with much of the hectic week behind me and things getting back to normal on the job sites, it meant that I could go to our local sports bar for a Friday lunchtime meal and a few beers. And I felt that I needed them. I was going to call Kevin to see if he wanted to tag along, but for some reason I found myself turning into my street before I had placed the call. It’s like I was subconsciously wanting to check in on my wife once again.
And once again, her car was in the driveway. This time another car was parked in my spot, her boyfriend must be with her once more. I parked out on the street, sitting there for a couple of minutes trying to decide if I should go in or not. I knew what I would most likely find in there, did I need to know that they were fucking once more? Did I need to see them, again?
I didn’t want to drive away, it was like I had something inside of me wanting to know, wanting to see with my own eyes of what my wife was doing. I entered the house through the garage, stopping in the kitchen to see if I could hear anything. There it was, that familiar sound of the bed moving, of Brittany’s groans.
I found myself walking towards her open door once again, pausing for a second to listen to their lovemaking before taking that last step to where I could see the bed from Brittany’s mirror. She was being fucked in a doggie position, I could only see the top half of her body and none of his, he was obviously standing at the end of the bed, fucking her.
This time I wasn’t as confused by what I saw, not as many emotions or bewilderment at what was going on in front of me. This time my mind was more than prepared for what I was seeing. I stood there, watching Brittany, listening to her. There was something extremely erotic about it, being able to watch the woman you love enjoying sex, not as a participant, but simply as a voyeur.