Jenny and I were eating our sandwiches, she was sunny and blond, always big smiles to go with her perfect teeth and deep olive coloured skin. We were sitting on white stone steps in the main quad of the university, sun streamed from the clear blue sky, and I felt it on my bare legs.
I had had a big inferiority complex about Jenny for the first term of our course, but slowly, as time had passed, we had become friends, and I had come to terms with how I could cope with the contrast between my white English complexion, my skinny arms and legs next to her more rounded perfect form. My light brown hair seemed thin next to her deep brown, almost black glossy locks.
“Well, I don’t think that any of the boys are here to look at me, lets be clear.” I retorted, “I think we both know that it is a lot more likely they are here to look up your skirt than mine.” I giggled at her as we sat there, looking at the two guys opposite us, I knew we were now both watching them a little, trying to determine which of the guys was actually looking, and who they were looking at.
“I don’t think you are entirely right there; you know Greg, the one on the right, well I am pretty sure he is interested in you after that ball at the end of last term. I danced with him a bit, and he asked about you twice, I think he was mainly dancing with me just to get some background on you.”
I cast my mind back to the end of term ball, to the way I had watched them dancing together, so very sure that he was going to get off with her. I was surprised that Greg had asked Jenny, I had wanted him too but perhaps my natural reticence had counted against me. I remembered back to how I had avoided eye contact, avoided any encouraging body language. Jenny on the other hand had been bold, had seemed like the mistress of the dancefloor, walking up to groups of boys and demanding attention.
One problem with hanging out with Jenny was that it was definitely not helping my confidence with men. I knew that she had had guys as partners before university, and my lack of partners was starting to weigh on my mind. But then no one was ever going to notice me when I was standing next to her, to her perfect skin tone, athletic arms and legs, perfectly sculpted breasts. My own white pasty skin tone and skinny flattish chest was never going to get any attention.
“Clare, you know you under-sell yourself; you just have to get out there. Make yourself more available. Like… what do you think about Greg, I am telling you that he is interested in you.”
“Look, Greg is great, and we did that project together last term which went quite well, but I just don’t get any kind of vibe from him that he is interested, you really think he is?” I sat there and then saw him glance at us, trying to disguise my attention, he really did check me out.
I felt myself blush as I became aware of his eyes on me, scanning down from face to my tight white t-shirt and then lower, to my legs. The pretty blue skirt rested on my thighs, above the knee, but I knew that my legs were together, and with the edges of the skirt pulled tight, it covered me up enough.
“Ha, you see, you saw that right? He was categorically looking at you, looking to see your legs. I told you he is interested. Why don’t you encourage him a bit, I know you want him. You always go for the clever intellectual quiet ones, the runners. He has got a great bum though.”
This was another of Jenny’s sins, she was always telling me whom I did or didn’t fancy, where my relationship interests lay, it bugged me a bit that she was right more often than not about it all, but then perhaps I liked it as well.
“Show him more.” She demanded as we both saw him glance over again, I squinted at him over the top of the diet coke can, seeing his eyes resting more intently on my body, perhaps on my legs.
“What do you mean, more? You mean, like my legs?” I glanced at her; she was laughing a little at my uneasiness. I watched her as she shifted a little on the step, and then almost thoughtlessly, raised one of her legs as she lowered the other, I suppose showing a little more of the top of her thighs to the two guys directly opposite.
They were however both obviously aware of what she did, one turned a little, and they both moved their heads, hardly noticeable perhaps if you were not concentrating on them, but I did notice. I saw their eyes move over her a little, a jolt of thrill passed through me at the thought of actively encouraging guys to look at me like that, to desire me.
“See what I mean, they might be pretending just to sit there, but they aren’t. Now your turn. I dare you.” She looked me in the eyes as she returned her legs to their original position.
I felt my face redden a little with embarrassment, even just the thought of it made me embarrassed, but I knew I wanted to feel the thrill, I knew I wanted to see them look at me, to watch me as showed just a hint more of my bare white legs.
I looked over at her, stared at her, looked directly into her eyes, then I moved my legs, lifted my knees higher, then almost absentmindedly, I let my knees part. As I looked into her eyes, I watched as she looked over at them. By now she was looking directly at them, scanning them to see what they were up to.
“So…” I asked, “Are they, are they looking then?” I almost whispered, as if it were some sort of secret.
“Ha! Are you really asking, do you really wonder, you saw how they looked at me, and I was showing nothing, you sit there, knees up and legs apart showing them your knickers, and you ask if they are looking? Believe me, they watched your every move. And I can tell you it was Greg that really watched, not his geek friend, I am telling you, he fancies you, next time you see him at the bar, talk to him.” She replied with a naughty giggle.
I held the position for a while. Now, I felt my heart beating faster, almost hammering in my chest, I didn’t even know why, but I did. I let my knees part a little more, then glanced around, looked directly into Greg’s direction. There was no doubt in my mind, he was looking directly between my legs at the pretty white cotton, decorated with pink flowers that I remembered buying with my mum a few months ago.
As soon as I looked at him, I lowered my eyes, then swiftly closed my legs, pulled down the hem of the skirt, almost as if I had no idea what I had done, as if it were an accident. Did I think that they thought it was an accident, a mistake, that I didn’t know what I had done? I wasn’t sure, I didn’t care, but I did know how excited I felt as I saw the desire in his eyes.
“Come on Jenny, we have to go. Perhaps you are right, but, but, well I want to think about how I feel about him.”
We stood and walked off, Jenny put her arms through mine, and we walked off towards my room.
“Well Clare, I think you enjoyed that in the end, you enjoyed seeing him look didn’t you, admit it, you liked the way he wanted you? Well, you have to ask him out now, or you are just teasing him.”
“Teasing him? You are the one that made me do it, dared me to do it.”
“Oh, come on, don’t give me that, I made you, I suggested it one time and then you jumped at the chance, and then you were so aroused that even I could see your nipples hardening.”
We walked on in silence, I didn’t think it was worth denying any of it, we were friends, she knew me too well.
“You know Clare, you could do with some nicer clothes, some nicer knickers.”
We were walking down the middle of the shopping area in town the following weekend. I didn’t have a lot of money, but Jenny did, and I sometimes accompanied her around the local shops. She had great taste and it could be fun to try on new clothes with her, even if it was just a bit of fantasy shopping.
I looked over at her, into her eyes, and we shared a moment then I laughed first.
“You mean, if I am going to go around the university, showing them to guys?” We both laughed then.
“Yeah, you bad, bad girl…. Exactly what I mean. Come on, let’s see what we can find.” She took my hand and pulled me into Marks and Spencer, she knew I couldn’t afford the nicer, expensive lingerie boutiques and I was relieved that at least I could afford the pretty little things in M&S.
We walked through the ground floor area, passed all the nice dresses and skirts, and walked through to the lingerie department. I walked up to the multi-buy area where all the cotton and polyester knickers were stacked in boxes of three.
“No Clare, not those ones, let’s look at the fun ones… If you are going to be showing off, then you need to show off properly.” She added with a grin and led me through the more exotic choices.
There were a few mannequins decorating the store in lace bodies, satin knickers and bras, corsets, nothing that I had ever worn before. I ran my hands over some of the satin, so soft, shiny, a most perfect feeling. I imagined how it would feel next to my bare skin.
“What do you prefer, lace or satin?” Jenny asked, holding up two hangers, one with a pair of pink satin in a shorts style, the other a little white lace thong, almost see through. I imagined myself in each of them, felt a jolt of excitement at the idea of wearing them, at the idea of a guy seeing me in them, in how he might feel about me as he looked at me.
“I don’t know, lace, satin, silk, it is all amazing, beautiful. OMG, Jenny, can you imagine me in those, I mean..” I stuttered.
“You mean can I imagine you wearing them sitting on the steps outside the Uni, and Gregg sitting opposite. Yes, Clare, I can imagine you doing precisely that, and looking at your face, I think you can too.”
We looked through the whole department and found a few things, knickers, thongs and bras in pink satin and white lace. Jenny had beautiful taste and it was fun to select a whole new range of underwear just for the fun of it. I couldn’t afford them all, but she gave me the rest as a present.