Laura’s Cardinal Ch. 02

An adult stories – Laura’s Cardinal Ch. 02 by 32aa,32aa This chapter is a little long as I couldn’t find a convenient place to break it up. Be patient. There are ‘happy endings’ about three-quarters into the chapter. So, like I said… ‘Be patient’.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing and feeling it.

My parents knew why I had to get away. Laura’s parents knew why I had to get away. I was pretty sure that both were glad to see that I was getting on with my life and not just drowning in a world of loneliness and a sea of depression.

Laura and I had laid together many nights savoring the comforting warmth of each other’s bare body and just wondered what it would be like to just drop everything and travel across this great country with no particular destination in mind. To see other parts of the country besides where we grew up. To spend the nights in campgrounds with fellow travelers. Get up when we want to. Move on to the next campground when we wanted to. Spend quiet time together. Hike, fish… swim… swim nude when we could. Make love under the stars.

We knew that it was a silly and impractical dream, especially at our young ages and careers, but still, it was fun to just let our imaginations go wild. I guess that now, I was about to live out the dream that never happened with just a memory guiding me.

The Class-A Motor Coach that I bought was the kind of RV that Laura and I had wishfully dreamed of taking that journey in.

It was definitely way more than I needed for just myself but, for the two of us, it would have been great, fun, and comfortable. The RV came with a Queen-sized bed, drop-down bunk, indoor and outdoor shower, kitchen area, generator, air conditioning, and 32-inch TVs in the living room and the bedroom with a sound system that could blow you away. Maybe a bit extravagant for just myself but, it was part of our unfulfilled dream and I wanted to live out that dream as best that I could, although now I would be alone in that dream.

Putting everything in storage, except for the keepsakes of Laura, that I held so close to my heart. Then, after promising both sets of parents that I would text or email regularly about where I was and what was happening in my life, I was prepared for the next part of my life journey.

On a sunny day in early May and standing outside the fueled and ready RV. Decision time… where?

I knew that there was something out there, something that was waiting for me to find. To be discovered. I had no clue what it was, where it might be, or how long it would take. At this point in my life, I had all the time in the world.

Digging a quarter out of my pocket and letting fate and the invisible hand of My Laura determine the direction to head, I watched the shiny coin sparkle with life in the late morning sun as it tumbled high in the air before landing at my feet.

Heads – North… Tails – South.

Another coin flip: Heads – East… Tails – West.

Ten minutes later the RV was headed north and then later west across the upper Midwest guided only by destiny to ‘God Only Knows Where’. Little did I realize.

I stopped wearing my wedding band shortly after the funeral. Instead, our rings: wedding bands and Laura’s engagement ring were on a gold chain around my neck and rested just above my heart. Sometimes when I was driving over the open road, the necklace would hang from the sun visor on the passenger side. Letting her ‘see’ what I was seeing and feeling.

Mingling with fellow travelers at the various campsites brought a new and refreshing feeling. Over time, my deep depression very slowly faded, although it returned at times. Usually, something out of the blue would trigger it. Like, someone just saying a phrase that Laura would say. Or something on the radio.

It seemed that somebody always had a campfire going and music playing. I learned that that was an open invitation to anyone and everyone to ‘Come on over’. The ages varied from those who were a bit older than myself to retired couples. Most were families out on their Summer Vacation with their young kids, or retired couples just enjoying life. I was pretty much the only single guy at every campsite. Nobody asked why I was traveling alone, which I was grateful for.

Some campers were there for just the night before moving on. Others for more. And then some didn’t know, or care when they were moving on. Stories were told. Experiences shared. Advice on which campgrounds were better than others. World events were pretty much ignored.

We all carried our own tools and emergency replacement parts like fan belts, radiator hoses, and stuff like that. So, if anyone needed some diagnostic help or help changing out something that didn’t sound right, everyone was eager to lend a helping hand. With so many varied backgrounds, there always seemed to be one or two who were ‘mechanically inclined’ as opposed to those who were ‘mechanically challenged’. It wasn’t like we were a band of gypsies. Instead, it was like we were kind of like a family of nomads with everybody heading in different directions.

In all, it was fun. I got out and started to experience life again. Keeping in daily contact with my parents and weekly with Laura’s parents, because they wanted me to, was kind of like writing a diary. Perhaps something that someday I would share. Besides my texts and emails to both sets of parents, there was my private notebook, for my eyes only that I would share with my Laura in the quiet of each night.

Early in my travels, there were many wooded campgrounds where each morning I would be woken by the familiar ‘Chirp’. Later in the day sitting and listening to their songs of cheer as a chorus of the red males and pale brown females sang in harmony. It always warmed my heart when a male would feed his mate one of the many seeds that I would place out in the open. In my mind’s eye, they were kissing. I read somewhere that Cardinals are love birds that mate for life. That made seeing a pair of the red and brown birds together even more special.

However, each night I would look up to the stars and wonder. Somebody told me once that the stars are the whispers of loved ones we have lost reminding us that they are always watching over us. Each night I always wondered which star was Laura’s; wanting to believe that it would be one of the brightest with the most vibrant twinkle.

Helping stranded travelers was something that I did whenever I could. Some just ran out of gas. It always struck me as strange whenever that happened. I mean, that’s what gas gauges are for.

Most were ‘tire issues’. I got pretty good at changing tires. Those stranded ranged in ages from teenaged girls, who stayed in their car while the potential ‘serial rapist or axe murderer’ changed out the tire, to families, to retired couples. Everyone, except the teenage girls, offered me something which I always refused and just told them to lend a hand to some stranded motorist whenever they could but to always be safe.

Thinking about it, it may have been a little careless on my part, given the way the world was. But I figured if we don’t help out when our fellow man needs help, what does that make us? I know… cautious but still.

……………………………..

There was one such stop out in the middle of nowhere in the southeast corner of Montana that changed my life.

Sometimes I traveled the interstate. But most of the time I just liked to get off the beaten path and take my time to really see the countryside. Passing through small towns and stopping in mom-and-pop cafes for some real home cooking was fun and relaxing. Maybe spend the night in a local motel, when a campground wasn’t available, or just having a few beers in a local tavern. Just being with honest-to-goodness down-home folks who could give a ‘white rats ass’ about the opinions and craziness of the rest of the world.

It was early afternoon. Coming over the crest of a small hill, I saw a good-sized white pickup truck pulled off to the side of the highway about a mile ahead with the emergency flashers on.

It’s strange. Whenever you decide on something that will change your life, you don’t even realize that you’re making it. It’s only in hindsight that we realize how important some, seemingly insignificant, things really are… I call it ‘The ‘Butterfly Effect’.

Pulling up behind the disabled vehicle, like I had many times, I saw steam coming from out from under the hood. From the rear, I could make out a head of blonde hair and a face from the side mirror cautiously watching me approach. Standing off to the side of the driver’s side window a young girl, probably around my age, peered back at me with a worried and helpless look through her sunglasses.

She tried to talk, but with the window closed I couldn’t hear a word. Slowly the window cracked open a bit.

“How long have you been sitting here?”

“Maybe an hour. My phone’s battery’s dead so I can’t call anyone, and nobody’s driven by.”

“Pop the hood. Let me take a look.”

The majority of the steam had vented off, but there was still enough to see that it was the top radiator hose with a pinhole venting the last of the steam from the radiator. Fortunately, it was right at the connection to the radiator just behind the clamp. It looked like I might be able to cut the hose at the pinhole and have enough hose left over to reach the radiator connection. It should hold until she would be able to get to a garage. The other option would be to see if one of my spares would fit.

“It’s a pinhole in the top radiator hose.”

Her face sank.

“I think that I can fix it to the point that you can make it to a garage in a small town, which I think is about fifteen miles from here.”

There was a gentle smile for the first time since our meeting. It warmed my heart.

It was a stretch, but the hose made it. Filling the radiator with water and starting the engine, everything looked fine. Another smile.

“I’ll follow you until you get to the garage.”

Another smile that was bigger than the last with lots of bright white teeth. Her face was still hidden by her sunglasses.

It was late afternoon when we pulled into a repair shop on the edge of a small town by the name of Broadus in Powder River County situated in the southeast corner of Montana – population 468.

From across the parking lot I watched as she got out of her car and quickly went inside. All I really saw was a loose jean-covered butt.

Fifteen minutes later, she came out of the garage’s office, grabbed her purse, and leisurely strolled over to where I was standing next to my RV. It was the first time that I had a chance to really see her.

She was a cowgirl alright. And I don’t mean one of those ‘Daisy Duke’ types. This was a real working cowgirl. She was petite maybe around five foot three with a tiny waist. Her blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail that poked out from the back of a faded green John Deere baseball cap. Her jeans were worn, not tattered, but you could tell these were her ‘working’ jeans. The cowboy boots were brown and scuffed from wear. The loose long-sleeved ‘work shirt’, with the sleeves rolled up hid any curves. But what really caught my eye was the smiling and beaming face. Her sunglasses still hid her eyes and the details of her face. Still, from what I could tell, she looked to be cute.

“Jack said it would be a couple of hours as he needed to finish what he was working on first, as the customer was waiting for it.”

Then with a smile, “I guess with everything going on we never got around to introducing ourselves… I’m Amanda. My friends call me Mandy.”

Then, with a smile, “I guess at this point, you’ve made it to my ‘friends list’.”

Returning the smile and holding my hand out, “Thanks, Mandy. I’m Steve.”

The feeling of her soft warm hand was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It felt wonderful, as our hand-to-hand connection lingered for a bit. There was something about the touch of her hand to mine. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. And from the look back, she felt something too.

“Well, you really don’t have to hang around if you have someplace that you need to be getting to. But, I really appreciate all that you’ve done.”

“Well, Mandy, I’m not on any schedule. Being this late in the day, I’ll probably just look for someplace to spend the night. Either a campground or a motel.”

I could see her running something through her brain.

“Well then. Let’s go across the street. Let me buy you a coffee and a slice of the best apple pie around. It’s the least I can do for my knight in shining armor who rescued me. Otherwise, I’d probably still be sitting on the side of the road, or who knows what?”

Crossing the road to a plain-looking diner with a red and white “Silvia’s Diner’ sign with my new cute friend at my side brought a feeling of contentment. I don’t know why, it just did. Maybe it was the brief introductory handshake. It was a feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time… the gentle touch of a young woman’s hand, or any woman’s hand for that matter.

Entering the diner I was taken back in time. The first thing that hit me was the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and hamburgers frying on the grill. It was like what you would expect from the 60s. A dozen, or so tables all with red and white checkered tablecloths. Along a window that faced a nearby tree-lined stream and the side wall were rows of booths. At the far end was about a fifteen-foot-long counter with stools like you would see in old movies. On the other side of the counter was a large open window to the kitchen with a serving shelf where about a half dozen plates of burgers and fries sat ready for the one and only waitress to deliver to the waiting tables.

“Hey, Mandy.”

“Hey, Silvia.”

“Just sit wherever you and your guy want to. I’ll be with you in a minute,” as she hustled around the counter to pick up the awaiting food orders.

I saw Mandy look down with a sheepish grin. Mandy was definitely a ‘local’ and well-known girl.

Taking a seat at one of the window booths and then as if reading my mind.

“Yeah. In case you’re wondering. I live around here. I have all my life. Except when I went off to college thinking I was going to be a fancy fashion designer. About halfway through, I knew that wasn’t going to work for me because it would have required that I relocate to some big city. Not the kind of life for this country girl. So I dropped out and came back here. I’m glad I did. It gave me time to spend with my parents… before…”

About this time Silvia appeared.

“So, Mandy, what’ve you been up to? Haven’t seen you too much in the last few weeks.”

“Oh. Not much. Been busy with my horses. When I’m with them, time just gets away from me, and before I know it the sun’s setting.”

“Well, you should get out more. Come see us like you used to.”

I saw Mandy look down. Silvia had hit a nerve and she knew it.

“Sorry, Mandy. I only…”

“That’s fine Silvia. Really. I’m OK.”

I thought that I saw a brief tear.

Silvia desperately wanted to change the subject.

“So, what can I get you two?”

Placing our orders, Silvia quietly turned and went back to the kitchen. Mandy sat there quietly gazing out the window with a ‘Thousand Yard stare’. A few moments later, our food arrived, breaking her out of her trance.

“I’m really sorry, Mandy. Your pie and coffee are on me.”

“Thanks, Silvia. And don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”

Whatever it was… it was still raw. I wasn’t going to probe. I had my own open sores. Changing to something brighter.

“You were right Mandy, this is the best apple pie that I’ve had in a very long time.”

That bought Mandy out of her funk as her face beamed with pride. It was actually the first time that I could see her face and eyes; even with no makeup she was indeed a beautifully cute and natural girl. She had a faint sprinkle of freckles across her cheeks and over the bridge of her nose. But what definitely caught my attention were her smoky-gray eyes. I had never seen anything like it. They just breathed ‘Warmth’.

“Glad you like it. It was my mom’s recipe. In the fall when the apples are ripe, I bring fresh apples in every day for really fresh apple pie. Silvia tells me that she can’t keep up with the demand. Sometimes she even sells whole pies to people. A lot of times that’s the only reason that they stop by. Being a small community, word spreads quickly.”

Taking a sip of her coffee. I knew that it was going to be my turn to share.

“So, what about you, Steve? You’ve kind of heard a bit about me. What brings you here to this remote part of the world? I mean we don’t often see something like your RV with out-of-state plates. Well, we used to before the interstate was built. Most vacationers stick to the interstate. The town has kind of died after that went in. But, I think we all like it just the way it is. We’re like all one big family. If anybody needs any help for anything, there’s always someone to lend a hand.”

Somehow, I knew this would come up. It always did at the campgrounds when all the campers shared their stories. I was going to try to be vague, as usual, and see what happens.

“Well, I’m just out touring the country. I have no schedule or real destination. I wanted to see what the real country is like. I mean, places like this. You would never get to experience this kind of warm atmosphere in one of the interstate truck-stop cafes. Never get to meet real down-home people like you and Silvia. Everybody going ten miles over the speed limit. You can never just go slow, relax, and take in and appreciate the rich countryside. Stopping whenever I wanted to. Setting up my RV in a campsite shared by others who want to experience the same thing. Staying for a while if the mood and the fellow campers strike me. Or, just move on.”

“And you’re doing this all by yourself?”

Looking down and in a whisper, “Yes.”

Mandy knew that she hit an open nerve. Reaching across the table, she took my hand in hers, and softly said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“That’s fine Mandy. Really. It’s just…”

I couldn’t get the words out.

Gently squeezing my hand between hers brought a sense of comfort. She was definitely a warm and caring woman.

“You don’t have to talk about it. It seems like both of us have something that we’re trying to get over.”

All I could do was muster up a knowing smile before turning to gaze out that same window that Mandy had stared out a few moments ago.

I was brought back to the present as Mandy took her hand away and took a bite of her pie as she wanted to change the subject.

“You said that you were going to look for someplace to spend the night. Well, we don’t have any campgrounds around here or close by, and the one and only motel around here… Well, I wouldn’t sleep in those beds if you paid me with all the tea in China. Let me just leave it at that and let you figure it out.”

Again, I saw the wheels turning.

“Why don’t you come out to my place? I’ve got plenty of space for you to set up. I can even run an extension cord out for you to hook up to.”

“Mandy, I don’t want to be a burden.”

That’s as far as I got.

“Steve. You’re not going to be a burden. I still haven’t bought you the pie and coffee that I promised. And I always keep my promises, she grinned.

“Why don’t you come out and I’ll make you dinner. It’s nice outside and I’ve got a picnic table that we can sit at. You just have to promise me that you’re not an axe murderer or serial rapist.”

That broke any lingering tension and brought smiles from each of us.

After following Mandy for about ten miles out of town on a two-lane county road over grasslands and rolling hills then turning off for another five or six miles, she finally turned on a long and winding gravel driveway. As we crested the gentle hill, a one-story ranch-style farmhouse, barn, a couple of smaller buildings, and a white corral came into view.

The house was white with a dark gray slate roof and a white porch that extended across the entire front of the house with the main entrance in the middle and large windows on each side. Next to the barn was a large white corral with eight or ten full-grown brown horses and a couple of younger ones. Standing on the porch and trotting out to meet Mandy’s car was some type of black and white collie wagging its tail. Its master was finally safely home.

Mandy knelt beside the dog ruffled and scratched its neck as the dog’s tail whipped side-to-side. Planting a light kiss on the dog’s forehead and then moving toward me.

“That’s ‘Lady’ like from ‘Lady and the Tramp’ she’s my best friend and protector. I know that the Lady in the movie is a cocker spaniel. I don’t care this is my Lady. She’s a Border Collie and we watch out for each other. Don’t we Lady?”

As Mandy scratched behind Lady’s ear, Lady’s tail never stopping at the mention of her name and the attention from her master.

Then it was my turn to be inspected. Lady came over and cautiously sniffed first my leg and then my hand. The tail started to wag as I petted her head.

“Well, you passed,” she grinned, “She doesn’t usually warm up to strangers that quickly. Not that I’ve had a lot of strange people out here. She likes you.”

This time there was a little twinkle in her eyes. It was something that I hadn’t seen yet. And then she just held my gaze.

“I guess that means that now I won’t have to sleep with my loaded 9 millimeter under my pillow.”

For a few moments, she just held and looked at me, expressionless, before breaking out into a bright smile. I had to laugh. What a dry sense of humor. I like this girl already.

Mental note, ‘Never play poker with Mandy’.

With another playful smile, she turned.

“Welcome to my humble abode.”

“Wow, Mandy. This is beautiful. So neat and clean. And I love the porch.”

“Thanks. Yeah, the porch is one of my favorite places to unwind. I love sitting there in the summer just as the sun is coming up and watching the sun begin a new day, as it chases away the dark with its symphony of painting the sky in vivid shades of orange, red, and violet. It’s breathtaking.

“My dad built the house just before he and my mom got married. And then as he got into horses the barn and the other buildings were built. And like I said, I’ve lived here all my life except when I was off at school.”

She got quiet for a moment as if lost in some memory. The house did seem pretty big for just one person. I wasn’t going to say anything as I pretty much knew that there was something there.

“Come on. Let’s get you settled and hooked up.”

Twenty minutes later, I was hooked up and even had the password for Mandy’s WiFi.

“Knock… Knock.”

“Hey, come on in.”

Once inside, I watched as she looked around taking in the comforts of my humble abode, and especially the framed wedding portrait of Laura and me hanging on the wall next to the TV.

“I’ve never been in one of these. This is pretty nice. Not like I envisioned an RV. You’ve really got all the comforts of home.”

“Yeah. I probably went overboard. I mean it sleeps four, but I didn’t want to feel cramped. Take a look around, if you want to. I’ve got some stuff to do up here for a bit. Then you can show me around.”

That got a warm smile.

Twenty minutes later and standing out by the corral, “These are my babies. Do you know anything about horses?”

“Not too much. I mean I grew up in Northern Illinois in a small farming town, but it was mostly milk and beef cows. And if anybody had horses they just had one, usually it was just for their kids.”

“Well, I don’t know what your plans are, but if you want to, I can take you on a horseback ride around the ranch. It’s not that big, by Montana standard, only three hundred and fifty acres of grasslands and hay fields of alfalfa. None of it is fenced or anything, so you can pretty much ride wherever you want with no problem. I try to get out two or three times a week. It just feels good to be out in the wide-open space, with nothing but God and country.”

“Like I told you, Mandy, I’m not on any schedule. And I’d like that. To do that with you.”

Another smile. I was warming up to this girl. And, for some reason, I think that it was mutual and in such a short amount of time since we met. Time will tell.

The inside of the house was just as impressive. It was an open design. The oak hardwood flooring gave off a cozy golden warmth. My eyes were immediately drawn to the huge family area at the back complete with a floor-to-ceiling natural stone fireplace and a west-facing picture window that gave an impressive view of the grass-covered hills that seemed to go on forever. Above the fireplace was a large family portrait. It didn’t seem like it was taken all that long ago just by looking at Mandy in the picture and comparing it to the cute girl that was next to me.

“Wow, Mandy. It’s beautiful. And that fireplace.”

“Yeah, that’s my favorite. As you can tell, there aren’t many trees around here, so I have a couple of loads of split firewood delivered every fall. The winters are pretty cold. So, except to go outside to take care of my babies and let Lady get some exercise and do her thing, I pretty much stay in here. And to answer your question, which I know you want to ask but are too polite… Yes. It gets lonely.”

That was the second time in less than an hour, or so, that she had picked up on my thoughts. There had only been one other person in my life who could do that. I inwardly smiled at that.

“That’s me and my mom and dad. It was taken about three years ago. Every time I look at it, I miss them,” her voice cracking followed by a tear, which she wiped away with her shirt sleeve.

I was taking a chance, as I moved toward her and entered the ‘personal space’ of someone who I had only known for a few hours. But, something ‘spoke’ to me that it would be OK.

Wrapping my arms around her waist I was pleasantly surprised when her arms reached up and over my back as she quietly rested her head on my shoulder.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Pulling back and looking at me through those soft smoky grey eyes.

“I know that we’ve only met a few hours ago, but there’s something about you. I don’t know what it is, or how to describe it. I’ve never felt anything like this before in my life. I mean, I’ve been hugged by people that I barely knew before, but it never felt like this. Can you develop a connection with someone in such a short amount of time? I felt it the moment we sat down at the diner. I mean, inviting you to spend the night at my house. I’ve never ever even dreamed something like that could happen. That I could put that much trust in someone so quickly.”

“I know. I haven’t felt anything like what I’m feeling right now for a very long time.”

Picking up on my saddened voice, Mandy just reached up and kissed my cheek. That kiss lightened my mood. It was the first kiss that I had had in a long time.

Then adding, with a grin, “You forgot about the loaded 9 millimeter under your pillow.”

Another smile, and a quick kiss on my cheek.

“Come on, let me show you my favorite place.”

Off to the side was a door leading to a den with another stone fireplace that was somewhat smaller, and a pair of corner windows one looking west and the other south. I imagined that the sun shining through the south window on a cold winter day would add a cozy warmth to the room. Along one wall was a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf filled with hard-bound books by authors I didn’t recognize. I guess being out here by yourself in the middle of winter, there’s only so much TV and internet that you can watch, so reading would be a relaxing pastime. Along another wall hung a wide flat-screen TV.

“I love it in here. In the middle of winter, with a glass of red wine, the fireplace, just me and Lady curled up on the couch with my favorite music playing and a good book. I can just shut out the rest of the world.”

Lady hearing her name, nuzzled her nose into Mandy’s hand.

“Yeah. I’m talking about you,” she grinned at her companion as she casually stroked behind Lady’s ear bringing Lady’s tail back to life.

It was nice outside so we just did burgers with a green salad and sat at her picnic table on the stone-lined patio. Together we watched the setting sun with a couple of Montana specialty beers, called ‘Moose Drool’ brewed by the ‘Big Sky Brewing Company”. I was going to have to get some of this stuff.

I noticed a bit further out from the patio what looked like a hot tub. I had never been in one, but I imagined what it would be like to be sitting in one at night, with the lights off, the swirling warm water, and looking up into the star-lit heavens. I don’t know why, but an image of Mandy emerging from the swirling water in a fog of steam completely nude quickly entered my imagination, and just as quickly I dismissed it. She was a nice girl. No need to get all weird and pervy. Still… she was cute and in my eyes getting cuter by the minute as her warm and cheerful personality came out.

We spent the next couple of hours just talking about our growing up. Each of us having been born and raised in a small town gave us something in common. She grinned as she said that most of her classmates considered her as kind of a tomboy. Mandy wasn’t into the whole girly thing of makeup and frilly dresses. A pair of cowboy boots, worn jeans, and a baggy cotton shirt worked fine for her. She was comfortable in her own skin and couldn’t care less what anybody else thought. She had a number of girlfriends in high school who had similar thoughts. A nice date for her would have been an evening out on the range riding one of her horses with one of her girlfriends, or some guy who wasn’t intimidated by Mandy’s confidence. I found it strange that a girl who was this nice and cute didn’t have a boyfriend. I wasn’t going to ask.

Mandy didn’t regret dropping out of school and was impressed with my education in Computer Science and what I used to do for a living. She didn’t ask if I was still doing that. Just like she never asked if I was ever married, or had a present girlfriend. Although, seeing the wedding portrait in the RV, kind of answered the first question. She wasn’t going to pursue why I was traveling alone. I mean at this point, what was the point in sharing something that personal? I could be gone in a day, or so.

It was getting late and it had been a long and trying day for Mandy. We said our good nights. I got a parting kiss on my cheek as she once again thanked me for everything.

Sitting at my laptop and composing my emails to both sets of parents about my day, I was deliberately vague about Mandy. Just saying that I had stopped and helped a stranded motorist along the highway and was spending the night near the small town of Broadus in Southeastern Montana. That always brought a response from my mom that she hoped and prayed that I would be careful.

In my own personal diary was where I would record my deep feelings. At times ‘talking’ to my Laura. But tonight, I was confused. The words didn’t come, there were feelings and emotions that I hadn’t felt in a long time growing inside of me. Growing inside of me about the cute pixie-like girl in the house. Something about her was drawing me toward her. Wondering where my path was headed.

The night was moonless. Out here miles and miles away from any city light pollution, the heavens seemed more alive than usual as pin-prick holes in the colorless sky and seemed to stretch on forever. Taking a quiet stroll down to the horse corral, resting against the fence, and looking up to the great beyond brought a sense of serenity.

Tonight, I spoke to my Laura, as I often did when I was troubled, and looking for guidance. Most of the time the answers to my concerns came to me in the middle of the night, or just as I was about to enter my dreamland. My Laura ‘talking’ to me.

Pulling the necklace out of my shirt, giving the set of rings a gentle kiss, and then holding them in my hand always brought a feeling of closeness as I communed with my Laura.

“Laura, my love. I’ve done it again… I’ve gone and rescued another damsel in distress. A damsel who is affecting me like you did that one afternoon. And just like us, sitting outside at the Student Union with our fries and Cokes getting to know each other, Mandy and I sitting in a little café getting to know each other and then to this here at her house.

“You’ve guided me through my worries, through my pain, to here. Always by my side. Your love never leaving, because of the bond between us that cannot be broken. A bond that was formed from a love so pure on that very first night where we gave ourselves to each other… our innocence… the gifts of our purity.”

Quiet as I just closed my eyes. Hoping and praying for something… anything. A thought. A distant voice. There were no Cardinals in Montana. I was on my own. Or so I thought.

Then.

“Laura, my love. What am I going to do? What am I supposed to do? I love you. I will always love you. I can’t let go… I won’t let go. But there’s this girl. I can’t describe it.”

Just then a star shot across the dark heavens and the lyrics of ‘Catch a Falling Start’ came to me from out of nowhere.

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket

Never let it fade away

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket

Save it for a rainy day

For love may come and tap you on the shoulder

Some starless night

Just in case you feel you wanna hold her

You’ll have a pocketful of starlight…

A smile. My Laura ‘talking’ to me. I had my answer. It was the same answer she gave me just before I left on my journey, “Follow and trust my heart. Everything will be fine”.

“Thank you, my love… My one and only.”

Another shooting star.

Making my way back to the RV there was a sense of inner peace that I hadn’t felt in a long long time. A sense of purpose. A new direction.

Unbeknownst to me, Mandy had been quietly sitting on the porch swing in the shadows. She had been watching me since I emerged from the RV, as I walked down and stood at the corral, and now as I quietly returned. Perhaps she was in a similar turmoil with her feelings about this ‘stranger’ who had suddenly and unexpectedly entered into her life from out of nowhere. This ‘stranger’ who she found herself being mysteriously drawn to in such a short amount of time.

…………………………………

I slept peacefully and woke up fully refreshed. Having always been an early riser, I went for an early morning run while the coffee brewed. It was something that I tried to work into my mornings every other day, or so… depending on the locations. It helped me to relax and find my own inner peace by shutting out the rest of the world and letting those hidden thoughts come to me.

Cooling down, I sat sweating and shirtless in my running shorts at my little fold-up picnic table with a cup of coffee, just reading off my laptop. The sound of the front door to her house closing redirected my attention. I was pleasantly surprised to see the smiling face of Mandy coming out her front door with a plateful of, what looked to be blueberry muffins.

Today was not the working ‘cowgirl’ Mandy… today was a completely different girl. Today, she was Amanda. She was dressed to let me know that she was in fact a very sexy young woman.

Her blonde hair, while once again in a ponytail, was the color of wheat in the early morning sunshine. A white elastic tube top hugged her tangerine-size mounds leaving her shoulders bare. The pair of light blue shorts rode low on her hips just a few inches below her cute belly button ending mid-thigh. A pair of white sandals graced her feet. And what struck me was that there were no visible tan lines. Only lightly tanned skin and a toned stomach.

As she got closer my heart stopped. Amanda had applied some makeup. Not a lot. She didn’t need a lot, or any for that matter. The natural look that I was introduced to the day before displayed a beauty that very few women are fortunate to possess. The makeup was just enough to highlight her smoky-gray eyes.

Stopping at the edge of the table with a beaming smile and bright white teeth, all I could say was, “Wow.”

The smile got bigger if that was possible. And then when I asked, “Who are you? And where did Mandy go?”

She laughed.

“She’s here. You like? You saw the working cowgirl yesterday. When I saw you head out for what I guessed was a run, I decided that today I wanted to show you my other side. My feminine and girly side. My Amanda side. I haven’t dressed like this in what seems like ages. There was never a reason. It was fun.”

“Well, you’ve got my complete attention.”

Amanda watched with an appreciative smile as my eyes were constantly moving up and over her complete body. And I will admit. There was a bit of a stirring in my shorts. Something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Man, she was beautiful and sexy as no get-out. And the funny thing was… she knew it as the smile never vanished it only broadened at the attention that I was giving her.

“These are still warm.”

“Wow. Those look wonderful. Let me put my shirt on and get you a cup of coffee.”

“The coffee sounds great… and you don’t have to put a shirt on just on account of me…. I’m enjoying the view. Just like you are,” she grinned playfully as I looked down in my embarrassment. It had been a very long time since a cute girl had openly flirted with me.

“You’re so cute when you get embarrassed.”

Returning with her coffee and still shirtless, she just impishly grinned that ‘pixie grin’ as her eyes sparkled with playfulness as she checked me out again. I loved it.

“So what are your plans for the day?”

“Nothing. If you don’t mind I’d like to stick around for a while, or until you get tired of tripping over me.”

“That might be a long time.”

The wide smile and grin were replaced by a soft warm look. A look that told me that she was welcoming me into her world for as long as I wanted. Perhaps there were cosmic forces at work here from both sides.

“What do you think about this? I don’t suppose that you have anything to wear to go horseback riding.”

“Just like I was wearing yesterday.”

“OK. Let’s go into town and get you some real riding jeans, boots, a hat, and riding gloves. Then I’ll take you on a horseback ride. I have an extra saddle. It’s a little too big for my butt, so I don’t use it,” she grinned.

“Stand up.”

I knew that I had a playful grin. It was my turn to have some fun and flirt.

“Turn around.”

Looking back over her shoulder, she watch teasingly as I checked out her butt. And what a cute little firm butt it was.

“I can see that. Your cute little butt would probably like something smaller.”

Grinning, and running her hand over her tight little bottom, “You think that I have a cute butt?”

“The cutest that I’ve seen in a very long time.”

“You keep saying things like that, and I may never want to get rid of you.”

It warmed my heart. I hadn’t flirted with a girl in so long. And the fun thing was… she was enjoying it and flirting back.

……………………………………………

Mandy gave me an approving look as I met her down at the corral while she was getting the horses ready for our ride.

I couldn’t help but check her out… again.

She had changed into a nice form-fitting pair of jeans showcasing her nice little firm butt, a long-sleeved cotton shirt with the top three buttons undone, and the bottom tails tied in a bow just below her small breasts exposing her cute belly button again. It appeared that she was braless, given the amount of skin that was exposed.

Lady was laying next to Mandy, patiently waiting. She knew the drill as Mandy got the horses ready for our ride. She did however trot over to me with her tail wagging for a behind-the-ear scratch. Mandy smiled as she watched her protector greet me.

What really made me do a double-take was the holstered pistol on her hip. It just caught me by surprise as it wasn’t something that I expected for just a horseback ride.

The holster was just like you saw in all of the old westerns, with extra rounds on the belt. There was also a rifle scabbard with a lever action rifle hanging off the saddle. Both looked used but well-maintained and were not just for show.

Noticing my gaze, “They were my dad’s. He pretty much grew up with them and always wore it and carried the rifle whenever he was out riding around the ranch. The rifle’s for varmints, both four-legged and two-legged. Out here you never know, especially the way that the world’s going. He never needed either one, but always said, ‘Better to be safe than sorry’. Are you OK with it?”

“Yeah, no problem. It just kind of took me by surprise I guess it just never occurred to me, but I see your point. Especially if you’re out riding by yourself. A young woman out on the open range. You’re right, you can’t be too careful. I’ve been hunting with my dad with shotguns and I’ve done some target shooting with his 22 rifle. Just never shot a handgun.”

“The pistol’s a Colt 44 revolver. There’s a place out a ways out back where we can do some target shooting if you want to.”

“I’d like that.”

“The rifle’s a lever action 22. It uses special rounds for the two-legged varmints,” she grinned again.

“Being out alone on the open range never really bothered me. Besides what I’ve got here, I’ve always got Lady with me, my protector. Sometimes she takes off after a jackrabbit for a bit but always finds me. That nose of hers, she can sniff out any two-legged varmints that may be out and about. I haven’t run into any… yet. But I feel pretty safe when I’m out on a ride. Plus, I’m a pretty good shot,” she grinned.

“I’ve also got a Bolt-Action hunting rifle with a scope back at the house. I go deer hunting every fall right out there over those hills, so I have a freezer full of venison for the winter. You can only take one deer, but that’s more than enough for me.”

“Wow, Mandy. That’s quite an arsenal.”

“Well, it’s nothing compared to some of the others around here. If you know what I mean,” she grinned.

“And you go deer hunting all by yourself?”

“Most of the time. Sometimes Sylvia’s husband, Earl, will join me and we go a little further out of course Lady’s always with me. Even though it’s all private land, everybody around here knows everybody else, so it’s no big deal. They just don’t want strangers out on their land hunting or doing who knows what.”

“You’re something else.”

That got me a grin.

“I’ll grill some venison steaks for you when we get back if you want. It’s good. It’s really lean, it’s unlike beef. So it’s best between rare and medium rare.”

“I’d like that, and rare to medium rare is my favorite.”

“Anyway, the hunt is the easy part. Getting your kill out and back to the house is the hard part. If it’s close I can just leave it and come back a couple of hours later with a couple of horses and get it back to the house and then off to the packing house. There are quite a few deer around, so I usually don’t have to go very far. And with the scope, I don’t have to get too close. Still, it’s a challenge because they spook easily and it’s fun.”

“How far away are you when you take your shot?”

“It varies. Usually around a hundred yards or so. So, it’s not too bad, and like I said, I’m a pretty good shot, if I do say so myself. I always go for a clean kill every time. I hate to see animals suffer. But the deer need to be hunted to keep the herds thin so that they don’t starve over the winter. As you can imagine, there’s not a whole lot to eat for them out here in the grasslands once the snow comes.”

So that’s what found myself sitting on top of a good-size brown horse that I learned was a Morgan. As we rode Mandy talked about her love of her horses.

All of her horses are purebreds complete with all the paperwork. She had eight mares, one stallion, and a couple of colts. Since each mare can only have one foal a year, she spaces them out so that there’s a foal about every other month.

The breeding and selling of Morgans has always been a part of her family. For her dad, it was a hobby. But a hobby that made a name for itself in the world of ‘Horse breeding’. For Mandy, it was her love and passion. It was the main reason that a future in a city wasn’t something that appealed to her. The way she described everything I could tell that this would always be her home. She was very intelligent and talked with a confident ease. There was no bragging. It was just the way that she was… a confident and secure woman. She was growing on me.

The day was beautiful warm and sunny, just like my riding companion. Our conversations were relaxed and comfortable. At times we rode in silence and just enjoyed the vast openness and each other. Then there were the few instances where Mandy was just a bit ahead of me, I would cast my eyes on this lovely woman as she rode with confidence and ease. Then sensing that my eyes were on her, she would look back over her shoulder and give a gentle and warm smile. It warmed my lonely heart. There had only been one other person in my life who could do that… sense my gaze.

Even though it had been around 24 hours since our initial meeting it was a level of comfort that I hadn’t felt in a long time. And I was pretty sure that Mandy was feeling it also.

The venison was good. It had a rich and earthy flavor. Sitting on her back patio with a nice bottle of Cabernet wine our conversation drifted to our growing up, each of us from our own little town. It sounded like she did well in high school, and had a lot of friends, including a couple of boyfriends. Even had her heart broken once, adding ‘What teenager hasn’t?’ The only sport that interested her was cross country running. She didn’t have the long sprinter-legs, but she could run at a good pace for hours. It was something that she had gotten away from, but might get back into it… depending on what lie down the road.

We were on our second bottle of wine. The sun had set and the patio was lit by four Tiki torches when I saw the playful grin, “Want to go out and sit in the hot tub? It will only take about half an hour to heat up.”

The prospect of seeing Mandy in some type of swimwear, be it a one-piece, two-piece, or some type of bikini was more than I could pass up. I mean, I’m a red-blooded male. And she was a cute little blonde.

The tub was about forty feet from the patio and raised with four steps leading up to the eight-foot-wide wooden deck.

Sitting in the warm swirling water that was softly lit by four underwater lights patiently waiting for my pixie host to arrive was making my heart beat with a level of anticipation that I haven’t experienced in a long time.

The silhouette of her tiny body was outlined against the dim lights of the house and became clearer as she approached the tub, carrying the half-empty bottle of wine and our glasses. She was wearing a short white robe that came to just above mid-thigh. She wouldn’t… would she… be nude underneath? That thought was quickly flushed. I pretty much knew that she wasn’t that type of girl.

“Forgot these,” she grinned.

Standing off to the side, Mandy casually untied the dark blue sash, shuddered her shoulders, and the robe fell to the deck, pooling at her little feet. My heart stopped. No, she wasn’t nude, but she might as well have been. The bikini left little to the imagination.

It was white, providing a sharp contrast to her smooth tan skin. Each little triangle was just enough to cover her little breasts leaving just a hint of the gentle swells of each delicate mound. The night air was having the effect, either on purpose or accidentally. The top of the lower triangle had to have been at the very top of her pubic hair, and in the center was the gentle rise of her Mound of Venus, which in my mind was one of the more alluring features of a young sexy woman. I think that my breathing stopped but something stirred… something that hadn’t stirred in a long time.

“Ready to see something spectacular.”

I was speechless. I was already seeing something utterly spectacular. Dam, she was sexy. I mean… I’ve seen my share of sexy young women, but Mandy was right up there near the top, if not at the very top.

Turning to turn off the lights, the bottom of each smooth little firm butt cheek stared back at me and begged to be caressed.

The lights went off, plunging our world into a warm and steamy darkness. But it was enough light to watch her slip into the swirling water coming to rest with her little breasts just below the waterline.

“mmm. I love sitting out here at night. Look up.”

Just like the previous night, the stars filled the sky from horizon to horizon. The Milky Way was once again on full display.

“Have you ever wondered what’s out there?” I asked.

“Yes. Every time that I sit out here on a night like this. I mean seeing all of those suns and then there are the suns that are beyond into the vastness of the universe. It’s impossible to believe that we’re alone on this little blue orb floating around in the great universe. I’ve read, because that is what I do, that just in the Milky Way there are up to 400 billion stars and that about 20 billion of those are sunlight stars and that about a fifth of those sunlight stars have an Earth-sized planet located in its habitable zone.

“I wonder what they look like,” she pondered as she asked to no one in particular.

Continuing on her thoughts.

“I wonder if they’ve found us. I mean thinking of old stuff around the world that was built a long time ago. Things that would seem impossible to build back then, given what they had to work with… Like the pyramids 4000 years ago.”

“I’ve thought the same thing. Back on my parent’s farm at night. I have to believe that they’ve been here.”

We settled into a comfortable and relaxed quietness. It was a level of comfort that I hadn’t felt in a long time. This girl was continuing to grow on me, and in such a short amount of time.

“Do you sit out here often?”

“A couple times a week. Early and late winter are fun. The cold air on top and the warmth under the water. But, it’s been a long time since I’ve had company. It’s nice. Nice to share… nice to not be out here by myself.”

Even in the dim starlight, I could see the gentle smile. But those last few words told me that, yes, she longed to have somebody in her life.

Fortunately, and gratefully, the conversation didn’t get too deep, like about the stars being the souls of our loved ones. I don’t think I could have held my emotions in check given the previous evening out with my Laura.

However, a casual closeness was building, and from the previous night out by the corral and the shooting stars, I was comfortable with where things were going. I was going to follow my heart, and hope and pray that it wouldn’t be broken or disappointed.

……………………………………….

Time went on. There was no urge to move on my part. I was pretty sure that Mandy was wondering what was going through my head regarding my plans as I gave no indication that I would be moving on at any time in the near future.

Mandy was an eager and patient teacher. She showed me how to shoot a long-range rifle and target practice with her Colt revolver. I got pretty good… nowhere close to the level of Mandy, but decent.

I learned how to care for and ride horses in more than just a gentle walk. At times Mandy wanted to stretch the horse’s endurance. Soon I was doing a full-speed gallop over the grassy plains. Watching those strong legs gripping the sides of her horse as she urged her mare on, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have those legs gripping my sides as she rode me. Inwardly, I knew that I shouldn’t be going there. But I was falling for this woman. Confusion about what I was feeling was creeping in.

Each night found me at the corral ‘talking’ to my Laura. Communicating through the streaking of stars across the heavens. She was out there. Watching me. Guiding me.

Days turned into weeks and before I knew it summer was almost over. I also knew that at some point, I’d have to make a decision – move on or stay. I knew what I wanted to do. I just needed one last reassurance.

It was one of the ‘conversations’ with my Laura that my path forward became clear.

“I’m here, my love.”

A streaking star.

“I don’t know what to do. I know that you’ve been watching Amanda and me.”

A streaking star.

“I’m following my heart like you told me to do just before I left. Part of me wants to broach the subject of staying here. Maybe buying my own place somewhere nearby. These past weeks and months have found me looking forward to each day. To the time we spend together. And I am almost certain that Mandy feels the same, because at the start of each day when she comes out of her house and finds me at my table, there’s always a smile.

“I know that we can’t progress beyond where we are now until I decide what to do. Until that decision is made, I’m pretty sure that any type of relationship would always be kept at ‘arm’s length’ to protect ourselves. To not get hurt or disappointed.

“I know that she is struggling with a deep pain and that she feels that she can’t share it or put herself through the emotional pain of baring her soul to me, not knowing if I will be on the road sometime in the future. And it’s the same for me. Telling her about you… us… our love. Talking to you like this has helped… helped a lot. I just don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t started to talk to you.”

My voice cracking. As a huge lump formed in my throat and chest, I had to take a moment to calm myself down. I was close to a cry that I hadn’t had in a long time.

“Would it be wrong to fall in love again? Because that’s what it feels like. Different from our love… Nothing could be like the kind love that we shared. Would you be OK with that?” I asked into the night sky.

Suddenly, four stars streaked across the heavens followed by four more that seemed brighter.

I smiled, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

Then, a lone star slowly made its way across the heavens.

“Thank you, my love. I love you and always will.”

My voice cracking, as a lone tear fell across my cheek followed by another slow-moving star, which seemed to stop, and linger, for a few seconds, before moving off and disappearing into the night.

I slept peacefully that night, as I knew where I was headed. Just not all of the details.

…………………………………………..

Over the next few days, my mind was forming a plan. A romantic dinner where I was going to tell her that I wasn’t going to move on. That I had found what I thought that I would never find again… Love. And a woman that I wanted to share my love with. I was also hoping that that confession would be welcomed with an open heart, and most importantly that Amanda was having similar feelings. But where? I had not seen any upscale type of restaurant in the little town. Where did people go to have a nice get-away dinner instead of cafe food? Nothing against cafe food, but sometimes you just want a romantic atmosphere, a quiet and intimate dinner, and share a bottle of wine.

Silvia… I needed to talk to Silvia alone.

Mandy needed to get her weekly supply of grain but was occupied with one of her mares who was about to foal, so I volunteered to take her truck into town. It would give me the perfect opportunity to drop by Silvia’s after the lunch crowd was gone so that I could talk to her.

Entering the empty diner, “Hey Steve. Where’s Mandy? Is she OK? I mean, you guys are always together,” she grinned.

“She’s fine. One of her mares is about to foal and I just came in to pick up some grain. So, I thought I’d stop by for a minute. You got a minute? I’ve got something that I want to ask you.”

“Let me get us a couple of coffees. As you can see the lunch crowd has left and Earl is out and about doing some errands.”

Settling in one of the window booths, “So, what’s up?”

“If I wanted to take Mandy out for a nice quiet romantic dinner, where would I go? I mean, no offense, your diner is nice and all, but I was thinking of something with soft lights, a wine list, and soft music. You know, something like that. And you’re not open at night.”

“Don’t worry about it. I know what you meant.”

A few moments later after some thought, “As you can tell there’s not a whole lot to choose from locally. There’s a nice restaurant a couple of towns over that I’ve been to. It’s nice. It’s busy. You need reservations and it’s kind of crowded and kind of noisy.”

Then with a sly grin.

“Celebrating something?”

Grinning back, “Maybe.”

Another grin, “A hint?”

“Well, let me just say, that if I’m reading the tea leaves correctly, I may be around here for quite a while.”

Then with a big smile, “Let me see what I can do. When did you want to do this?”

“Either this Saturday night or the next.”

“Give me a call in a couple of days. I’ve got an idea that I need to look into.”

I talked to Sylvia a couple of days later. She was all excited at what she had come up with. It would be perfect.

That night, as it was my turn to grill, the three of us sat out on her patio with our burgers. Yes three, Mandy, me, and of course Lady.

“So, Mandy, anything planned for this Saturday night?”

With a grin, “Let me check my calendar. Why?”

“Just thought that I’d like to take you out for a nice and romantic dinner.”

“You mean like a date?” giving me her playful smile.

Returning the grin, “Yes. A date.”

“Well, you’re in luck. I just happen to be free Saturday night.”

The smile never leaving her beaming face.

“Where are you taking me?”

“That my dear is a secret.”

“So, how should I dress? I mean jeans and boots or something all feminine.”

“While I like the jeans and boots Mandy. I would really like to see the feminine Amanda.”

That got a big smile, “You’ve got it.”

Watching Amanda coming out of the front door and strolling across the lawn gave me goosebumps. The kind that I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

A light pastel yellow sundress with little blue and green butterflies graced her little frame. It was held in place by two thin straps that tied behind her neck in a bow. The front was open in a nice ‘V’ such that the inner swells of her delicate little breasts were alluringly visible. Turning to give me a back view took my breath away. The dress was completely backless. Her smooth and tan-line-free skin glowed in the early evening sunlight.

Her blonde hair was down and framed her face like a golden picture frame.

As she got close, I could tell that she had spent some time on her makeup. Again, not that she needed much, but it was just enough to accent her smoky gray eyes and soft lips that begged to be kissed. Lips that I so desperately wanted to kiss. And if things went the way that I was hoping, tonight would be the night that our lips would meet for the first time. Soft and warm lips that my lips hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Is this the Amanda that you had in mind?” she softly smiled.

“Amanda, you’re perfect. So beautiful.”

The smile got broader as her bright white teeth shined.

“Come, my dear. I have a surprise for you… I hope.”

And I hoped and prayed that it would be a pleasant and welcomed surprise.

Pulling into Silvia’s Diner’s empty parking lot, she looked at me with a questioning look.

“Here? But she closed.”

“Trust me.”

Entering the diner, which no longer had the look of a casual diner, took my breath away. Silvia had outdone herself.

The lights were dimmed to the point where the room was bathed in a comfortable warmth. The usual table-crowded room was empty, except for a single table in the center. The red and white checkered tablecloth was replaced by a white linen cloth. Two china place settings, complete with wine goblets half filled with red wine, and polished silverware sat across from each other. Topping everything off, was a single red rose with a lit red candle on each side sitting in the middle of the table. Soft piano music was coming from somewhere and filled the room.

Looking over at Amanda, after the initial shock wore off her eyes were pooling with tears. She turned, wrapped her arms around my neck, and pressed her little body into mine. I just held her as her body trembled.

Pulling back with a gentle smile and pooling eyes, “Oh, Steve. You did all of this for me?”

“Well, all of this was Silvia, but I gave her an idea of what I was thinking and she just ran with it.”

Then with a soft voice that trembled with uncertainty about where all of this was heading.

“Are we celebrating something? Or are you just trying to soften the blow?”

I inwardly smiled, yep that was Amanda, insightful and always straight to the point.

“Let’s sit.”

I was going to wait until after our meal, but given that last question, I felt it best to put her at ease so that we could relax and enjoy our first date together.

Reaching across the table, taking her hands into mine, I gazed into her ‘troubled’ eyes. I could tell that she didn’t know where this was going but was hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

“Amanda. You’ve been patient with me. I think that the first week, or so, that I was here, you weren’t sure if it was going to be the last week or not. Wondering when you woke up in the morning if I’d still be there, or if it was going to be my last day. You never asked… never probed on what I was thinking or what my plans were. That first night at your place, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was lost. So many emotions running through me. You know that I was married at one time.”

“Yes,” her voice soft but never breaking eye contact.

“I want to tell you now, why I’m not anymore,” my voice cracking.

“Steve, you don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do. And the reason is something that I’ll tell you in a bit.

“Her name was Laura.”

I went through the whole thing. The accident. The funeral, glossing over the final settlement. My depression. My loneliness. At times my voice cracked and the tears came. How that loss had crippled me, and made me afraid to get so close to a woman ever again. To open my heart and let another woman in.

More times than I could count each of us pulled our hands back to wipe away a tear only to return to the contact that we both craved, and I so desperately needed.

“I knew that I had to leave. Get away. Everything I looked at reminded me of my Laura. It was at her grave where I had my last talk with her. You don’t have Cardinals here in Montana.”

Quietly she shook her head but never breaking our eye contact.

“Did you know that seeing a Cardinal is a happy sign… it’s a sign that those we have lost will live forever, as long as we keep their memory alive in our hearts.”

Amanda gave me a warm smile as she understood what I meant.

“Anyway, as I was saying my goodbye, a Cardinal flew past me and settled on a snow-cover limb and chirped. I recalled that each time I visited her grave a Cardinal would be there quietly perched on the tree branch. There was also one at her funeral sitting in the bright yellow leaves of a maple tree. I didn’t think anything of it at the time given everything that was happening at the moment. But as I thought about it later, I named it, ‘Laura’s Cardinal’.

“My first night at your place found me down at the horse corral staring up to the heavens, talking to my Laura, just like I had on so many other occasions asking her what I should do. She had told me at our wedding that whenever I needed her to reach out to her and that she would be there to do whatever she could. Suddenly a shooting star appeared and the song ‘Catch a falling star’ ran through my head. My Laura was talking to me, telling me to follow my heart and everything would be fine.”

Silvia had been watching the intensity and emotions that ran between us and thankfully stayed in the background not wanting to interrupt this extremely intimate moment.

“So, I stayed. I totally enjoyed all of our time together. Doing things together. Helping you with your horses. Going for horseback rides. Making dinners together. Sitting outside and watching the stars. And I think that you enjoyed it too. But I always knew that you didn’t know what the future for us was. Probably wondering if I envisioned a future for us, or what was going through my head.”

A little smile and a couple of nods of her head.

Taking a deep breath.

“The other night, I was down there again for my nightly visit. It was during that conversation that my destiny became clear. I told Laura that I loved you. That I felt a special bond to you, a different kind of a bond from what we had shared, and asked if she was OK with that.”

By now tears were streaming down Amanda’s face. She didn’t even try to wipe them away. Not wanting to break our contact… our first real heart-to-heart contact. I was opening my heart to her, and trusting that it would not be slammed shut.

“Do you know how she answered?”

She shook her head because I think that at that moment words were impossible for her to form.

“Two sets of four shooting stars streaked across the night sky and then two lone stars slowly moved across the heavens, the second one seemed to hover directly overhead for a bit before moving off.”

Her eyes went wide.

“I saw that. I couldn’t sleep that night so I was sitting on the patio like I always have, when I feel restless. In all my years of living here and looking up into the night sky, I’ve never seen anything like it. And you’re saying that it was Laura talking to you. Basically telling you that it was OK to love me?”

“Yes. And, Amanda. Just so you know… I’m not going anywhere. Because, not only do I love you, I am so deeply in love with you. It’s a feeling that I thought I would never ever find or experience again. It’s the feeling that I have been searching for. The connection… This connection… You,” gently squeezing her warm soft hands in mine.

Coming around the table, Amanda straddled my hips, gazed into my eyes with those smoky gray tear-filled eyes, and brought her lips to mine for our very first kiss.

Pulling back and looking at me with tear-filled eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and a warm and welcoming smile.

“Well, you want to know something? I love you too. I’ve been in love with you for weeks. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to scare you away. I knew that something from your past was troubling you, holding you back, but that something was keeping you here and not wanting to move on. I knew that I had to be patient and let you work through it on your own. I hoped and prayed for the best for each of us.”

A soft kiss.

“If we were back at my house, I would have you take me to bed and then have you make love to me. And then I would make love to you.”

We were brought out of our moment by a smiling and tear-streaked Silvia standing next to us with two menus of what she had in store for us on this very very special night.

“Silvia. He’s staying,” her voice cracking through the big smile.

“I know.”

The dinner was wonderful. Silvia outdid herself.

As we were leaving, Silvia gave me a warm hug, and whispered in my ear, “You’re a wonderful man. Take care of her. She needs you as much as you need her.”

…………………………………………

It was the first time that I had been in her bedroom. Everything was neat and in its place. It’s just the way that Amanda was, a neat and orderly person.

A King-sized poster bed sat in the middle of the room. A pair of nightstands, each with a shaded lamp bathed the room in a soft warmth. The two French doors were open to the patio at the back of the house letting in the sounds of the night. At the far side of the room sat a vanity. An open door, which I assumed to lead to the master bath sat directly across from the bed. Soft music came from the other room. It was just loud enough to hear, but not overpowering.

I was nervous and I could tell that Amanda was too as we stood alongside her bed and she draped her arms over my shoulders. Our faces and lips are just inches apart. I could feel her soft breath on my cheeks. But it was the gentle and trusting smile that warmed my heart.

“Steve… It’s been a while… a long while. Please be patient with me. But understand one thing… I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. I just didn’t know how you were feeling.”

“Amanda, it’s been quite a while for me too and I’ve only been with one other woman. Tell me if you want me to do anything differently, or to stop. Tell me what you like. Tell me everything that you like. We may not get to everything tonight, but I have a feeling that we will have a lot of time to get through your list quite a number of times.”

She gave a soft smile.

“Right now, I want to make love to you. I want to make love to my new girlfriend.”

Smiling, “I’d like that. And you know something? I love it when you call me Amanda when we are close together. And I really love it when you call me your girlfriend.

Another grin, “But I’ll always be Mandy.”

“So, make love to me Steve. And then I’m going to make love to you… my boyfriend.”

“I’ve got a problem. I don’t have any condoms. I guess that I didn’t plan this very well. Sorry.”

“You don’t need condoms. I’m on the Pill, only because it regulates everything. And I know that we’re both safe. So… take me… make me yours and yours alone. I’ve waited too long to be loved. Loved by someone who really loves me and who I really love. I want to be as close as a couple can be. Make me your girlfriend.”

Our third kiss we took our time to appreciate each other. It started slowly and tenderly; a hesitant dance of excitement and apprehension as my lips approached hers. A gentle brushing together, and a response in-kind. A brief drawing apart, checking on each other, gauging intention and comfort. Shy, eager smiles. Then a full commitment to the moment, to what felt right between two people that deeply cared for each other and who loved each other. Tasting each other. Enjoying the softness of each other’s lips.

Amanda’s warm hands reached down and guided my hands to the soft bare skin of her lower back, before returning to hold me in her warm embrace. Other than her hands, it was the first time that I had ever touched her skin, which felt like velvet and sent a surge through my body. The touch of a woman’s warm and soft skin was something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. And with Amanda, it was like nothing that I had ever experienced.

She initiated the next kiss, the one that took us from friends exploring our feelings to lovers, at least in spirit. It was fumbling and sweet and eager, at least at first. But as the kiss deepened, as she moaned into my mouth and I took the opportunity to slip my tongue between her lips as she pressed her firm little breasts into my chest and gently pressed her lower mound into my growing hardness. It had been so long. Amanda purred through our connected lips.

Seconds went to minutes. Neither of us was in any rush. Time and the outside world disappeared. All that existed was contained in the cocoon of our growing passion and desire for each other.

Nibbling the soft skin of her outstretched neck was as sweet as honey. Her hands gently combing through my hair guiding me to where she wanted my lips. The soft sighs of contentment told me all that I needed to know as my lips kissed through the open valley between her breasts and then the gentle swells as my nose nuzzled under the thin fabric of her dress.

I was enjoying myself too much to notice that one of her hands had left my head and reached behind her neck and pulled at the bow that held her dress in place.

Suddenly, the dress just fell away from her tiny body and pooled at her little feet. I had to see her.

Stepping back a bit so that my eyes could feast on the petite spectacle standing in front of me, I shamelessly devoured her little body which was a monument to raw female sexuality. The body of an innocent pixie.

Round half-apple-sized breasts sat high and proud on the smooth skin of her chest that had a soft golden glow from the two nightstand lights. Sitting in the center of each proud mound, was a light pink erect nipple that was surrounded by a pale peach-colored areola. Her midsection was flat and toned, probably from all of her work in moving 100-pound bales of hay when feeding her horses. The black bikini panties give a dark contrast to the soft glow of her skin. Then there were those legs. Legs that seemed to go on forever. Toned from her hours of riding and gripping her horse. I couldn’t wait to feel her wrapping those legs around me and tightening her grip as I made love to her. And separating those legs was that hand-wide thigh gap where the most intimate part of her body rested, waiting to be uncovered… to be appreciated… to be worshiped.

“You’re staring.”

Breaking from feasting on her beautiful body my eyes met hers and was greeted with a radiant smile.

“I didn’t mean for you to stop staring,” the radiant smile had been replaced with one of playfulness.

Her hands glided up and over her hips and then up and over each little handful of pure feminine flesh. The playful smile was replaced with a sultry look.

“You like what you see?”

“More than ever. I’ve never seen such beauty.”

“I don’t think that I’ve ever been looked at like the way you are looking at me right now. It’s a look that I’ve always wanted to see in a man, but it just never happened. I mean when you have no boobs. There’s not a lot to look at.”

That last sentence saddened me. How could anyone NOT appreciate the beauty that stood before me?

“You’re right. You don’t have any boobs.”

Her face sank, but then I quickly went on to my important message.

“What you have are two of the most beautiful and sexy breasts that I have ever seen. Firm… Breasts that will retain their youthful shape for the rest of your life and not hang down halfway to your cute belly button.”

She giggled.

“Breasts that I will be worshiping in a bit. Nipples that will be on the receiving end of my tongue and warmed by my mouth.”

Kissing my cheek, “Now, I know why I kept you around all this time. You’re one of a kind.” she grinned.

And then, in a soft and wanting voice.

“Yes… Please… Please kiss my sexy breasts… My sexy little breasts… lick and suck on my nipples. Oh god, I so want you to suck on my nipples.”

A light kiss to the upper swell of her little breast brought a gentle sigh. My lips slowly moved along her soft flesh until her pale little nipple sat a breath away from my lips. Kissing the edge of the pale orb brought sighs of delight and she guided my lips to where she wanted… her awaiting erect light pink gumdrop. Flicking it with the tip of my tongue, Amanda let out a gasp followed by, “Oh god… yes… Oh god… that feels so good.”

Blowing gently on the slickened orb caused her body to shake and her knees to buckle. As my mouth engulfed as much of the soft flesh as possible and swirled my tongue around the sensitive nub, soft mewing sounds of pleasure filled the room.

“The other one… Please.”

Her voice was now one of need.

The second nipple tasted as good as its twin and was just as sensitive. Amanda’s breathing was deepening coming in shorter gasps. Her hands were frantic against my neck, directing my eager mouth to whichever nipple desperately needed attention. I would like to say that I gently nursed on each delicate morsel of pure womanly flesh. Instead, I needed her as much as she needed me, as she pulled me into her warm and welcoming bosom.

Suddenly, her body jolted, like an electric shock had been applied as she let out a couple of little whimpers at her releases.

Guiding me back up to her awaiting and eager lips. At first, it was a kiss of passion hot and needy. Then it was a slow and tender kiss of ‘thank you’.

Pulling back with a grin, “I’ve never experienced that. Read about it. Tried it on myself. But never had it happen. Thank you.”

“And there’s more to come… so to speak.”

Amanda’s little fingers unbuttoned my shirt and tossed it across the room. Taking a step back, I saw the smile as she reached over and ran her fingers through my sparse dark chest hair.

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since that first morning when you were sitting outside after your run with your shirt off. I thought to myself how sexy you looked. I never dreamed that one day I would be able to do this,” as now both hands were roaming across my chest.

I was tempted to reach over and run my hands over her firm smooth breasts and erect pink nipples, but didn’t want to break the mood. I was pretty certain that that time would come, soon.

Easing my soon-to-be lover back on her bed, clad in only a pair of black bikini panties she met my gaze as my eyes once again roamed over her little body. On her back, her breasts disappeared, leaving two erect pink peaks. Her rib cage was pulled up in a sunken bow leaving a vast expanse of her tanned taut tummy and dainty belly button. The gentle rise of her still-covered Venus Mound sat there waiting to be uncovered and its beauty shared.

My slacks joined her dress on the floor, and then my shorts, freeing my cock which was pulsing with each beat of my rapidly beating heart as it stood out straight. The pink glans like a ripe plum as a clear drop of pre-cum appears.

“mmmm… So sexy. So big. So hard. Is that for me?”

“Yes, my love. It’s for you. It’s all for you.”

“Then come to me, my boyfriend. Make me your girlfriend.”

Snaking my body up hers; dragging the soft hair of my chest across her sensitive nipples brought another gasp.

Again, our lips come together. I couldn’t get enough of this lovely woman, who had been brought into my life by our shared destinies. Who would have thought? Can one get lucky twice in a lifetime? To have two soulmates at different times? Some say, ‘You’ll meet many soulmates in your current lifetime while some psychics say you can only have one’. I like to believe the first.

“mmmm… I love how you kiss me. You have such kissable lips,” she purred under me.

“I’m going to enjoy kissing you everywhere. Every square inch of this beautiful and sexy body. To taste you in all of your arousal. To drink your elixir of life. A nectar that is yours and yours alone.”

“mmmm… I love it when you tell me what you’re going to do to me. It makes me all tingly.”

“I can fix tingly.”

“Please… Fix my tingly,” flashing that playful grin.

Leaving a trail of light kisses along her tender flesh, stopping a bit at each pink gumdrop to pay homage to each of those delicate orbs, before leaving a parting kiss. Probing her cute belly button brought an initial giggle and then sighs of contentment. Kissing her still-covered Mound, before tugging and lowering those delicate black panties to reveal a soft and delicate tuft of pubic hair the color and texture of whispy corn silk.

Sitting up, I had to take in this complete masterpiece of the universe. There is no better picture than a woman lying back in all of her breathless glory; giving herself over to her lover. Knowing and trusting that she is about to be made love to. Knowing that her body is about to be worshiped and appreciated in the most intimate manner possible.

Nibbling on the soft flesh along each inner thigh up to that crease that separates her body from her legs brought soft sighs of contentment. Inhaling Amanda’s aroma brought back so many memories… memories of the fun and intimate times that I had shared with Laura. I was going to treat my new lover just the same.

Amanda sucked in a lungful of air at the first gentle touch of my tongue to her open flower. A low groan followed as the tip of my tongue snaked up between her pink lips and then buried itself beneath the protective hood.

“Oh God,” she gasped.

Music to my ears. I smiled.

Teasing that little sensitive pearl brought the music that only a woman can make as she is being pleasured in the most intimate manner possible. Amada’s legs splayed open. Exposing herself to everything that I could offer, as she surrendered herself to receive all the love and adoration I had to offer. All of which came from the bottom of my heart to this lovely woman.

As my tongue played with her little button, two fingers entered her wet inferno and stroked that inner bundle of nerves. The initial touch sent her little body into overdrive as the sounds of her building storm grew and grew.

“Oh my god, Steve… Oh my… Right there… just like that… oh my…it’s been so long… and it’s never felt like this… don’t stop… please don’t stop… I’m so close.”

Looking up at my lover, who was teetering on the precipice of pure raw ecstasy, I couldn’t help but smile. The perfect image of a woman being consumed in the throes of pure ecstasy: head thrown back, the veins in her neck bulging, eyes closed, breathing coming in short ragged breaths. Amanda’s mouth opened in a silent scream… until it wasn’t silent as her body jolted and a cry with each of the powerful waves of pleasure that surged through her little body and sent chills through my body.

A woman in full orgasm is a picture of pure raw primal power and beauty all wrapped up in a package that is beyond description. It can only be experienced and witnessed.

“Up here… Now,” she gasped breathlessly.

Covering Amanda’s warm and welcoming body with my own, her soft lips devoured mine. Savoring the intimate flavor of herself.

“Oh God… I’ve never tasted myself like this before. Actually, I’ve never experienced what you just did to me. Now, I’m positive that I’m going to have to keep you around,” she grinned.

“Kiss me again. I love how you kiss me.”

The urgent and needy hunger from a few moments ago had passed. It was replaced with a warmth and tenderness. With a need to bond.

“Come, my love. I need to feel you inside of me. All of you… There are so many things that I want to do to and with you. I may not let you out of my bed for at least a week. Come…. Make me your girlfriend.”

With a grin, “But first, let me get you ready.”

Sitting between my open legs, the feeling of her soft warm hand gliding over my ball sack made my eyes roll back in my head as I let out a lungful of air and a low groan. Wrapping her soft warm hand around my cock, almost brought tears to my eyes. It had been so long. With a warm smile, Amanda planted a reverent kiss on the tip of the ripe pink plum that she held in her hand as if she were worshiping a sacred treasure. The warmth of Amanda’s mouth as she engulfed the swollen head almost made me black out.

“Oh God, Amanda… That feels so good. Thank you.”

Grinning, “No need to thank me… I’m just getting started. This is going to be so much fun. You have such a nice cock. And it’s all mine.”

“Yes, Amanda… It’s all yours. It’s all yours until the end of time.”

Her smoky gray eyes sparkled with playfulness at what she was about to do. The tip of her little pink tongue snaked around the flared crown to the underside inverted ‘V’. And then, with a touch as light as a feather ‘tickled’ that open valley bringing a low growl from me and a smile of satisfaction from my lover. Those smoky gray eyes stared back at me as she slowly withdrew. Her soft pink lips gliding over the slickened pink head. Pulling back until her open mouth was a few inches away connected to my rigid cock by two white strands of her saliva before snapping and then just hanging in midair. The gentle smile told me that she knew the show she was putting on and was enjoying it.

A final parting kiss to the shiny glans. A playful grin, followed by a simple question, “How do you want me?”

“Oh Amanda, let me count the ways.”

A grin, “Oh a poet on top of everything else. I like Elizabeth Barret Browning’s poetry… ‘How do I love thee let me count the ways’?”

I could only grin back, what a delightful lover.

“How about you on top riding me for a bit? And let’s turn over so that I can make love to you… my girlfriend.”

“You just want to look at my little boobs,” she grinned.

“No. I want to gaze upon your perfect, cute, and sexy breasts. I want to commit that image of you straddling me, while I’m deep inside of you, deep into my brain. So that I can sleep with that picture of you in my dreams.”

“Oh my…. Where have you been all of my life?”

A warm kiss.

Straddling my hips, Amanda leans forward, teasing my lips with her nipples, gliding each erect pink gum drop over my extended tongue and bringing soft moans. Sitting up a bit, reaching between us to bring everything together, and then slowly my lover sits back as we join for the first time. Each of us let a long and languid sign as she took me deep into her body, coming to rest, fully impaled. Sitting motionless, our eyes are closed as we each savor the deep connection of love and harmony that new lovers have experienced since our creation.

“Oh god, Steve… You feel so good. You’re so deep inside of me. If I had know that you would have felt this good, I would have jumped your bones a long time ago,” she grinned.

“So do you Amanda… my Amanda. You feel so warm and tight. I love you from the bottom of my heart.”

Then, what started as a grin as Amanda brought both of her hands up to cup her little breasts turned into a seductive and sultry stare as she held my gaze, brought her hands up and through her long blonde hair, and reached for the ceiling.

Laying there breathless, as I took in the erotic sight before me.

Her smooth skin was bathed in the soft light from the bedside lamps. Amanda’s breasts disappeared leaving two pale ovals that showcased her erect pink nipples. So inviting. So begging to be kissed and sucked. So feminine. And then there was the smile as she knew that she held me captivated by her nude body. Her cute little belly button staring back at me. And there at the point of our joining… Amanda’s soft blonde patch of wispy hair blended into my darker and fuller pubic hair.

My dick involuntarily throbbed inside her tight warmth. She grinned and squeezed me with the snug walls of her passageway.

“I can tell that you like what you see. I’ve never done this before… like this. But then, I’ve never had such an appreciative lover. You really like my little boobs, don’t you?”

“No.”

A playful pout, as she knew that there was more coming.

“I absolutely, and positively love your sexy breasts. Let’s do this.”

Sitting up and holding my lover in my lap, caused the last bit of my length to completely fill her as the tip lightly kissed her cervix, and put her delicious nipples at mouth-level.

“Oh my. I thought that I had you all the way inside of me before. This feels incredible. So full… so deep. I could sit here, just like this for hours.”

“Me too, and do this.”

Once again, my tongue lapped at each nipple like a cat would lap cream from a saucer.

“Oh my god… You’re going to make me come again.”

And just like that, her little body jolted and the walls surrounding my cock constricted.

Rolling to our side, and emerging between Amanda’s open legs. Grabbing her wrists and placing them up by her ears and interlacing all of my fingers with all of my lover’s fingers, I held her hands in place. Holding hands that way was deeply bonding.

My hips instinctively got into the gentle timeless rhythm that men and women have enjoyed for thousands of centuries, as I made love to my lover, my girlfriend, and yes… my soulmate for the first time. Never going into a fever-pitched coupling, we each held our lover in a deep and soulful stare as I slowly moved in and out…. In and out…. In and out.

“Oh, Steve this feels so good… YOU feel so good. I love feeling your balls on my butt. I’ve never been made love to like this. The feeling of closeness. The feeling of completeness. Actually, I can honestly say that I’ve never ever been made love to, now that I know what making love is really like. Come on… cum in me. Empty your full balls in me. Make me your girlfriend. ”

“Oh, Amanda… I love you so much. Don’t ever leave me.”

“And I love you. And Steve, I’m not going anywhere. I am going to be right here for you.”

Our lips meet one more time before lying down on top of her warm body. Amanda wrapped her arms and legs around me and locked her heels holding me between those strong legs in a loving embrace. Our gentle breathing into each of our ears as we slowly mated brought a level of closeness that I had only experienced with one other. Slowly our passion grew until a gentle wave washed over each of us as our eyes peered deep into each other’s souls and my life’s essence poured forth as we consummated our first joining.

Overcome with emotion; I buried my tear-streaked face into the softness and warmth of her neck.

I’ll admit it. I cried.

Amanda, my girlfriend, held me against the warmth and comfort of her body as all of my loneliness and all of my emptiness came out. I had truly found my other soulmate.

Settling back on my back, Amanda rolled to my side. Her warm and welcoming breast pressed against my side. The soft patch of her pubic hair against my hip. But the most comforting thing was her soft lips against mine before settling back with her head on my shoulder and her hand resting on my chest, just above my beating heart.

“Sorry,” as I wiped away my tears.

“Don’t be. You’ve nothing to be sorry about. It was the most tender and loving moment of my life. And I don’t mean just the physical part, which was absolutely wonderful. You opened your heart to me. Letting me in. You’ve kept a lot of pain and loneliness bottled up inside of you for so long. I know what it feels like.”

“It’s just that… I never thought that I would find someone like you. Someone who I feel is more than a friend. Someone who I can’t see myself turning and walking away from. Someone who I can love and I know who will love me, unconditionally. How can I be so fortunate… to have found my second soulmate? Some people go their entire lives and never even find one… the one person who they are meant to be with. The one person who completes them.”

Another tender kiss on my cheek.

“You’ll always have your connection with Laura, and I’m fine with that. Because I know that we have a connection. A connection of our souls and hearts. I know that your heart has a place for me too.

“Laura had you for her short life. She was a lucky girl. She was taken from you. Maybe it was her who guided you to the road where we would meet. To help you heal, because I’m sure that she watched you in all of your pain and loneliness and shed her own tears. She sent you on the path to rescue your ‘Second Damsel in Distress’. The universe moves in mysterious ways. I really want to believe that.”

She was quiet for a bit as if contemplating the question that had been on her mind.

“Tell me about her. What was she like? I already saw the wedding photo of you two on that first day in your RV. She looked so beautiful.”

“Yes. She was,” my voice cracking through the gentle smile.

“Why do you want to know about her?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know that you two had a special kind of love, just from what I’ve seen in you. And I’m not trying to see if there’s room in your heart for me too. I already know that there is. And I’m not trying to take her place. Nobody could take the place of someone who you had such a deep connection with. You’ll always love her you’ll always have her memory. It’s just the way that the universe works, I think. Each love experience is unique and special… like ours.”

It warmed my heart. I had one exceptional, special, and insightful girlfriend. I lovingly kissed the top of her head and my special girlfriend kissed the center of my chest, before settling back down against me… snuggling closer.

“I just want to hear about the kind of love you and Laura shared. I’ve never been in a real love. Oh, I’ve had boyfriends who I thought I was in love with… high school crushes. I’ve had my heart broken. What teenager hasn’t? But a real heart-aching love… No, I haven’t. I just want to hear what it’s like.”

Lightly kissing her forehead as a sign of my deep emotional connection, tenderness, and affection for her. Amanda just looked up at me with those soft smoky-gray ‘bedroom eyes’ and lightly kissed my cheek, knowing what that kiss meant, and how I meant it before settling to lie on my shoulder and resting her hand on my chest.

“She was my life. Our souls belonged to each other. Like us.”

Amanda looked up with a gentle smile, kissed my cheek, and then went back to rest her head on my shoulder.

“I guess it started when we first met. I told you about that. It was like an instant attraction. Like a magnet being drawn to each other. Even in those first few minutes two strangers meeting. It’s like when you meet a person for the first time. Do you just say ‘Hi’ and walk away? Or recognize that there’s something there as you’re drawn together.

“In all honesty, it was like us. Standing outside the repair shop after you said that I didn’t have to hang around while your car was being repaired. I told you that I would probably look for a campground or a local motel. I could see you thinking. You could have just thanked me and gone on with your life. Instead, you offered to buy me a piece of apple pie at Silvia’s and then invited me to spend the night at your place. Then, to here and now.”

“I guess you’re right. Something did draw me to you as we sat in Silvia’s. I can’t explain it. It was just something… something that I’ve never felt before.”

Looking up at me with a beaming smile, “I’m glad that I did.”

I couldn’t help but smile back, as I planted another kiss on her forehead.

“Anyway, we talked about it a lot. How we first came together. How our paths just randomly crossed that one afternoon. How my attention was drawn to what was happening to her at that particular moment. It was as if we were brought together to meet by a higher power. Again, just like us. The similarities between meeting the two most important women in my life are overwhelming.”

Another kiss to her forehead. She snuggled in closer. Her little body melting into mine as I wrapped both of my arms around her and just held her close. Once again, my eyes leaked and Amanda wiped away each tear. And then with a gentle kiss went back to resting her head against my chest as my hand gently stroked her back as I continued.

“We supported and helped each other. Yeah, we each had our problems and insecurities. We worked through them together. We grew as a couple.

“We were able to communicate with just a glance. We always seemed to know what the other was thinking, what each of us was feeling. Again, just like us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw it twice in the first few hours that we spent together.”

“Really? When? I don’t remember anything like that happening.”

“The first time was as we sat at the table in Silvia’s. I could tell from how you referred to the mechanic by his first name and how Silvia greeted you that you were a local girl. You picked on that and said, ‘in case you’re wondering, I live around here’.”

“Wow. I didn’t even know that I was doing that. You said there were two times. When was the second?”

“The second time was when you were showing me around the inside of your house and you picked up on my thought, ‘that it must get lonely out here’. Do you remember what you said?”

“No.”

“You said, ‘And to answer your question, which I know you want to ask but are too polite… Yes. It gets lonely.”

By now, she had risen up a bit and was looking at me wide-eyed, “I can’t believe that you remember that.”

“And then times when we would be out riding. You’re a bit ahead of me, and my eyes are watching you with a smile. You sense my gaze and turn to face me with a smile of your own.”

“I remember that. I can’t explain it. It was just something I felt.”

“It’s what soulmates do. They are highly in tune with one another. I didn’t put two and two together until earlier this evening at Silvia’s. Do you know what else soulmates feel?”

Shaking her head.

“You feel a spark around the other person. I felt the spark with you the very first time that my hand touched yours when you introduced yourself outside of the repair shop. And then the second time as were sitting at the table.”

She just stared at me for a few moments as if recalling that moment.

“You know. I did too. I think that at the table is when I had the thought of having you spend the night at my place. I’ve never felt such an attraction. Have you?”

“Yes.”

Lightly stroking my cheek with her hand, “You’ll always have that memory.”

“She’s my Guardian Angel. I firmly believe that. Do you believe in Guardian Angels?”

“I haven’t given it much thought, or even read about it. I’ve heard people talking about Guardian Angels, but it was always light-hearted. I just never really considered it as a possibility. I guess that I’d like to believe that there was one out there looking over me… Guiding me.”

“I’m pretty sure that there is. In fact, I’m positive of it.

“They create coincidences and opportunities in your life. I totally believe that, like you said a few minutes ago, it was Laura who guided me along the roadway to find you. I don’t know how she found you, or any of that, or even how you just happened to be out on there on the road with a leaky radiator. I just think that if I had passed that spot on the road earlier in the day, I never would have found you. And like I said earlier, I’ve been blessed twice in my life to find two soulmates.”

“I think that Laura saw all of your pain and loneliness. She loves you. Even though she’s not physically here. She hears you.”

“Yes, she does. That…. I am positive of.”

Quiet, as we savored what was growing and the deepening connection between us. It had been a long time since I had such an intimate and emotionally filling conversation. Once again, I kissed the top of her head.

“Do you want to meet her?”

“You mean now? How?”

“Yes, now. Why not? And I’ll show you how. I’ll show you something that you never would have ever imagined.”

“Do we have to get dressed?”

Again, I ‘heard’ the grin.

……………………………………………

Standing under the clear Big Sky that was decorated horizon to horizon with more stars that could be counted in ten lifetimes. My arms wrapped around my soulmate’s warm bare body resting comfortably just below her firm little breasts with her hands on mine. Pulling her back into my chest in a warm embrace.

Softly kissing her neck.

“Laura, my love. I’d like you to meet someone special… special to me.”

Moments later a single star shot across the heavens.

“Oh my god,” she gasped, “It’s true. What you told me. Laura’s listening and talking to you.”

“Hi, Laura. I’m Amanda… Mandy to all of my friends. But, I’m pretty sure that you know that already.”

Another shooting star.

“Wow.

“Thank you for bringing Steve into my life. For rescuing me. He seems to have a knack for being at the right place and at the right time to rescue poor damsels in distress. And right now, I know it was you. It was your way of helping him. Of helping him to heal. Because I know that he misses you. He’s told me about the love you two shared… so beautiful. Just like you.”

By now, I had tears running down my cheeks as two side-by-stars flew across the sky.

“I wish I could have met you. Steve talks a lot about you. I think that we would have hit it off like sisters.”

This time a slow-moving star drifted above us. Hovered for a second. Twinkled and slowly moved off.

This time I felt tears fall on my arms… Amanda’s tears.

We slept peacefully together for the first time. Our warm bare bodies never losing contact as we drifted off to our new dimension. A dimension, shared only by our souls.

…………………………………………….

Walking into Silvia’s Diner the next afternoon, after the lunch crowd left, Silvia took one look at Amanda and smiled the biggest smile that I’ve ever seen.

“And I thought that the glow I saw this morning when I got up was only coming from the sun.”

Amanda turned with an embarrassed smile to bury her blushing face into my shirt. It was cute.

…………………………………..

The summer was coming to an end. Fall was just around the corner, the month that always made my heart ache… October.

I had always visited Lara’s grave on the anniversary of when she was taken from me. This year was going to be no different. But it was going to be different. This year I wasn’t planning on visiting alone with a heavy heart. This year I was hoping to put some closure on everything with this visit and move on with my life with Amanda.

My parents knew that I was coming back for a visit. They also knew that I wasn’t going to be alone and were really happy for me and couldn’t wait to meet the ‘Lucky Girl’.

I had kept up my communications with Laura’s parents on what was going on in my life… my travels. They knew that I had stopped traveling and that I was spending time in Montana. When I had emailed my parents that I was coming back for a visit and that I was bringing someone special with me, I did the same with Laura’s parents… unsure what the response would be. My day brightened at their response. It was the same as my parents, “Can’t wait to meet the lucky girl’.

One mid-September evening, after a meal of grilled venison steaks, sitting in the hot tub with a bottle of our favorite red wine, and my arms around Amanda’s bare body, she looked up to the heavens as she always did. This time though I could tell that she was on the verge of tears.

I knew that something had been bothering her all day. She was quiet and withdrawn.

“Steve, they’re all out there aren’t they?”

I was pretty sure what she was referring to.

“Yes. I firmly believe it.”

“I always thought so too. I guess I want to believe it. I read Plato’s Cosmology, which says that every soul has a companion star that it returns to upon death, so long as it lived a just life.”

I was impressed.

“Wow, you read and understand Plato?”

A gentle smile, “Yes. He’s one of my favorites. He helps me fill those dark and cold winter nights.”

Then a playful smile, “And now that we’re going to live together, we need something else to do in the wintertime, in those rare moments, when you’re not ravishing my body, or I’m not having my way with your body.”

A light kiss to her cheek brought a warm smile.

“And, after talking to Laura the other night, I firmly believe it.”

Taking a sip of her wine.

“I never told you about my parents and how they were killed.

“I loved my mom and dad. I know that they were disappointed that I dropped out of school. I think that they were happy that I wanted to stay close to home and not move off to some big city. I guess in hindsight, it gave me time to spend with them that I would have otherwise missed out on.”

She sat looking up at the stars, then brushed away a tear, and sighed, as she gathered her thoughts on that painful memory.

“They were on their way back from an evening church service. They weren’t going fast. My dad never drove fast, especially at night. I think mainly because of the deer that are always out and about. Anyway, it seemed that a fully loaded tractor-trailer had crossed over the center line and collided head-on with my parent’s car. From what they told me, they never knew what hit them.”

I held Amanda as she cried about what she had just shared.

Wiping her eyes, she sniffled.

“I thought that I had cried so much all ready that there was nothing left.”

“There will always be tears for those who have been taken from us. Their memories.”

Kissing the top of her head, she rested her head on my shoulder. My embrace around her shoulder tightened.

“The funeral was a closed casket. I never got to say my final ‘goodbyes’. All that sat before me were two boxes and their smiling portraits with what they told me were my parents. So, all that I’ve got now are the stars, where their souls rest. When I sit out here, or on my porch swing, I always wonder which stars are theirs.

“Anyway, as it was investigated it was determined that the driver had been on the road, way past the fourteen-hour limit for the previous three days, and never recorded it. The company only used paper logs and not electronic monitoring so it was easy to cheat. They pushed the drivers to meet schedules to receive bonuses and beat out the competition. The drivers only got compensated for overtime and never anything from the bonuses. They were exhausted and the driver that hit my parents had fallen asleep at the wheel.

“It took a while to uncover everything. But when the books were audited, the ‘Accounts Receivables’ didn’t match the truck driver’s logs as to the deliveries. The auditors noticed that there were many deposits from some companies that never appeared in the driver’s logs. That started the probe.

“By the time the lawyers were done: the company was bankrupt, management was brought up on criminal and civil charges and I think that they’re in jail someplace. The company’s parent company was sued, and the drivers all lost their licenses and were prohibited from future employment as drivers. I think that was because they knew what was going on and wanted to keep their jobs and never reported it. Needless to say, I’ll never have to be concerned about money.”

We both sat there, each with heavy hearts. Each of us tragically lost someone who we loved. But I think that at that moment, we each found comfort in the sharing of our losses with the person who had become our best friend and the center of our lives.

Looking back up at the stars, Amanda whispers, “The stars will always be there. No matter how dark it gets, the stars are always there. They don’t let the darkness win.”

Holding her in a warm and comforting embrace. Kissing her forehead. I wanted to soothe all of her pain.

“Come, my love, let’s slow dance with the moon and feel the stars kiss our eyes as we join with each other one more time.”

We made slow and tender love that night under the stars for the first time. Sitting in our Lotus position, buried deep inside of her tight warmth, with her little breasts pressed against my chest, we stared up to the heavens cheek-to-cheek.

We each let out an, “Oh my”, as three stars cruised side by side across the night sky.

……………………………………

It was a warm and cloudless afternoon with a gentle breeze, as we somberly passed through the black wrought-iron gates of the cemetery at the edge of town. Slowly we crept along the narrow path among the rows of quiet headstones. A path that Amanda knew all too well. Stopping and taking Amanda’s left hand into mine, as her right hand held two bouquets of roses, one red and one yellow, we solemnly walked along a long row of grave markers.

Stopping in front of a lone flat gray granite marker that straddled her parent’s final resting places, Amanda knelt and gently brushed a lone leaf and a couple of specs of dirt away from the gray granite.

Sara Alexander Jenson Mathew John Jenson

January 28, 1976 May 14, 1974

September 22, 2023 September 22, 2023

Loving wife and mother Loving husband and father

As she knelt, she gently ran her fingers over the engraved design at the head of the stone. Above each name sat a heart with a hand from each reaching to their partner’s hand with the fingers intertwined in the center. Quietly tracing her fingers over each name and then leaning over to plant a reverent kiss, my eyes welled up, and a lump formed in my throat.

Carefully arranging the bouquets across each set of engravings, Amanda paused for a moment of reflection before rising and burying her tear-streaked face into my shirt.

Turning and pressing her back against my chest with her head resting on my shoulder, she let out a long and soulful sigh. Wrapping my arms around her waist her hands came up and covered mine, as she became lost in her thoughts and emotions.

Wiping her eyes one more time, she spoke for the first time since we left her house.

“I miss them so much. Even after all this time, coming here doesn’t get any easier. But I need to. I need to feel connected to them.”

Silence except for the wind in the trees.

“Mom… Dad… I know that it’s been a while, and I’m sorry. I want you to meet someone special. Someone who has made me happier than I have been in a long time. Someone who I love and who I know loves me… This is Steve… my boyfriend. And, yes, he’s already passed the ‘smell test’ with Lady, so I know that you would like him too.”

She was turned away from me, but I could ‘hear’ the smile as my lips kissed her smooth neck.

“He rescued me when my car broke down one afternoon. Part of me wants to believe that through you he was brought into my life to help me heal. And he has. Silvia has already seen it. Actually, we are helping each other heal,” as she raised and kissed the back of my hand.

“We’re going to live together, and, yes, we both know what the next step will be. It just may take some time. We’re not in any hurry. So, thank you. Thank you for bringing him into my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to rescue me.”

After standing for, I don’t know how long. Amanda once again knelt in front of the headstone and lightly kissed the heart at the top and then each of the names of her parents before standing and silently leading us back to her truck.

………………………………….

A few days later, we were out riding across the hilly grasslands and it was my turn to be quiet and somber. Amanda picked up on my mood shortly after we left the stable.

“Steve, are you OK? I mean you seem a bit off. Is something bothering you? Did I do something?”

“No, Amanda. Nothing like that.

“It’s the coming month; October is when I lost Laura. I’ve always visited her grave. I want to go back this year. And I want you to come with me.”

We were riding side-by-side and close enough that she reached out with her hand with a warm and caring smile.

“I’d love to.

“I’ve never seen that part of the country. I’ve heard that the weather is similar but that there are a lot of trees.”

“Yeah, there are. And corn fields.”

I almost said, ‘and with grain trucks’ but didn’t.

“Well, we should probably make our plane reservations soon. Being this far out in the middle of nowhere, it’s probably going to make a full day of driving and switching planes.”

“What would you say if we took the RV? Make a slow and leisurely trip across South Dakota, Minnesota, and then down and through Wisconsin. Probably take three or four days. We could switch from driving on the interstate to some two-lane country roads for some local scenery. Spend the nights at some campgrounds. Being the middle of October it’s still pretty nice during the day but could get a bit cool at night. But, that’s what body heat is for.”

That brought a broad smile.

“I’ve never done that. Leisurely drive and staying at campgrounds. Sounds like fun. Of course with that RV of yours, it’s not like we’d be roughing it with a tent and all of that type of camping out. I think I can get Silvia and Earl to look after my horses. And with the RV, Lady can come with us. She likes riding in my truck and I know that she’ll like riding in the RV.”

Silvia and Earl were more than eager to take care of her horses while she was gone. They had pretty much adopted Amanda after the accident and treated her like the daughter they never had. They were each especially happy at the new direction that her life was headed and the bright future before her and told us to take our time and feel rushed to get back.