Church Ladies Cunning Club – Chapter 6 – by LargoKitt
Church Ladies Cunning Club Ch. 6 –The Bishop’s Lady
Simon’s reputation for his silver tongue is beginning to spread among the congregation and beyond. At a tea with fine sandwiches and something stronger than tea the Bishop’s wife gathered with certain deaconesses to discuss fundraising and other parish issues. When the Bishop’s wife complained of “a certain congestion” that had not been “released” by the kind attention of the Bishop himself, Alice, the assistant pastor’s wife hinted that she was aware of a ‘certain kind of massage therapy’ that might relieve this condition.
And that was how Simon, Melissa, and Janine found themselves visiting the Bishopric manse on an evening when the Bishop was attending an ecumenical conference in St. Louis. The Bishop’s wife, Mrs. Alexander Xavier de Montmorency did not greet them at the door, of course. In fact, they had been instructed to park in the alley behind the manse and enter at the kitchen door.
Simon could have come alone, but the Bishop’s wife had concurred that that would be ‘unseemly’; so Janine and Melissa were along for the ride, both a little overdressed, although Melissa didn’t own anything that hid her ample bosom and Janine sported a tight pencil skirt.
Luisa, Mrs. de Montmorency’s private secretary let them in. She was a bit of a surprise: very young, flashing black eyes and a way of swinging her hips when she led them to the library.
The house was big; the rooms were tall and a bit dark and lined with polished wood. Portraits of bishops of the past stared down from the walls. They all seemed to be a rather stuffy lot. Clearly the house was an official residence.
Janine sniggered. “Are we sure we are in the right place? These guys are a real buzz kill.”
“There are other, more private rooms.” Luisa murmured enigmatically. “And here we are.
I’ll bring coffee shortly.”
The library matched the portrait hall, with old books clad in leather with gold writing on the spines in bookcases up to the ceiling. A dignified woman of some stature was sitting with her back to the large windows at an elegant Louis XVI desk. She looked up at them over Ben Franklin glasses and said nothing for a moment.
“Well.”
Simon held out his hand.
“Madame de Montmorency, I’m… ”
She interrupted him.
“Let’s dispense with names. Under the circumstances they are unnecessary. Please sit.”
She indicated three elegant chairs.
They sat and waited for her to speak. Simon couldn’t help but notice that she was quite an imposing woman, in her middle years, what many might call ‘handsome,’ large but not fat, with an imposing bosom and very straight posture. It amused him that she resembled Julia Child, down to the snooty tenor voice. She wore a small hat with small white flowers on it. Very little makeup, although she had bold eyebrows and a large red mouth.
She spoke, as though addressing a meeting.
“As far as the world is concerned, you are a delegation to discuss a small grievance you have, that His Eminence does not, in your opinion, make enough visits to your congregation and parish. This is what I will convey to him this evening when he returns. I assume you will also share this with your pastor or anyone who might ask about your visit.”
Janine was amused. “Then why the entrance by the back door if…?”
“Ah, yes, well it was my feeling that the hours of your visit might be thought irregular, since I assume your… services may require a bit more time than a simple request to His Eminence. Also, ahem, your… reputations in this parish… well, people talk… as you know. So. Discretion is better, don’t you think?”
She remained the height of dignity, but Simon caught just a hint of color in her cheeks. At that moment there was a rap at the door and Luisa returned with coffee and little cakes on a cart. For some reason she chose to back into the room revealing a very shapely derriere and the Bishop’s wife frowned just a bit.
“Thank you, Luisa. That will be all I need from you, for now. I will ring when it is time to collect the coffee materials.”
“You don’t want me to serve…? I am happy to serve….”
“Thank you, no.” She folded her arms under her very impressive bosom, pursed her lips and shook her head. “That will be all.”
Luisa was crestfallen, but she left the room quickly.
“I hate to be stern. She is so devoted to me and ready to provide every little service. But today I think we can dispense with her help. So, how should we begin…? Should I describe my… condition…?”
Melissa smiled nervously. “Madame… Mrs….”
“Hortensia… if you must.”
“Yes, well Hortensia we clearly are not doctors. We merely have discovered that…that many women of our acquaintance have been lacking a certain physical activity that we know from personal experience should be more widely available. We discovered that our colleague here…” She gestured at Simon, “… is singularly talented at providing this service in a manner that some have thought… life-changing.”
“Hmm, well….” The bishop’s wife put a finger to her cheek and looked at the ceiling. “This is a bit of a challenge. I have my reputation, and that of the Bishop to think of. A breath of scandal could sink our effectiveness in this bishopric. So I have taken the liberty of drawing up a small document which I expect each of you to sign. If there is even the hint that you are spreading what I will characterize as ‘lies’, you will be brought into court and sued for a large sum of money, you can see it here. She stabbed her finger onto the paper. Are we clear? Hmmm?”
They nodded in unison.
“Then sign please. I will give you copies, if you wish…?”
They all shook their heads in unison.
“Fine. Thank you. Now I assume we will want absolute privacy. Fortunately, I have a room, just through this secret door…” She tilted a book with a blue cover and a section of bookcase swung back, “… converted into my private exercise facility. Please follow me.”
Once they were all inside the little gym the panel swung closed. The room was very quiet. Not a whisper of sound came from the busy avenue only a few yards away.
“It’s quiet.”
“Yes, my sanctuary. But, I confess, the soundproofing was largely at the request of the Bishop, who was discomfited by my choice of exercise music seeping into the library…”
She pushed a button or two on a console and Aretha was belting “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”
“So you see…. Any requests?”
“Your choice, really. To put you in the mood for your… massage.”
“Alright, then. Perhaps not Aretha, and not Latin chants. How about…?”
The mellow, sensuous sounds of Brazilian bossa nova filled the room. The Girl From Ipanema.
“I did love that ecumenical trip Alexander and I took to Rio early in our marriage. I believe he even attempted a bit of the sort of massage you apparently purvey. And yes, that was long ago, before he became distracted by other interests.”
Eyebrows raised, she pointed a long, slim finger at a hefty massage table covered in elegant black leather.
“I was thinking that this might be the appropriate stage for your talents to be exercised, hmmm? I will change into something more comfortable in my little dressing room over there. Perhaps you would also like to change. I have some lovely Japanese kimonos Zander and I brought back from Kyoto. Please feel free to use them if you wish. Or not.”
Simon thought he saw her wink. But that would have been so out of character.
She disappeared into her dressing room and they each changed into a robe with accompanying Japanese sandals. Simon felt rather silly, as though he were dressing up for a role in the Mikado. The robes made the whole business rather formal, but also fun. In jest they all bowed to each other.
After some time Madame de Montmorency entered in a robe of her own, a wonderful brocade affair with beautiful bamboo and whooping cranes. However, she had let down her hair into two thick braids that fell behind her shoulders, so there was a bit of the feel of a school girl playing dress-up.
“Must I disrobe?”
Simon shook his head. “I see no reason why you shouldn’t remain in your beautiful kimono. Unless….”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know how to put this delicately. Let’s see. Unless, in your… enthusiasm… you have a tendency to….”
“Ah, yes. I see your concern. Well, that has not been my experience…. But I have a large collection of Turkish towels just there in that cabinet. Also a few emollients and a small collection of… devices… to aid in… relaxation. So… shall we begin?”
She pressed a lever on the side of the massage table and it slowly lowered electronically to chair height. She sat on the end.
“As you see, it can be adjusted to the appropriate height for the ministrations of the… practitioner. So, how do you want me?”
Melissa took charge again.
“Well, Madame… Hortensia, if you are like me or most women of my acquaintance, a bit of ‘warming up’ is usually welcome before proceeding to the more intimate activity. Now, I would assume that with your husband a certain amount of… kissing, fondling, caressing would precede the more sexual…”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. Without telling too many tales out of school I can only say that if Zander was more attentive in that manner then I would not have asked you here. So… no.”
“And would it offend you if Janine and I, say, kissed you, or stroked your shoulders and neck, and so on…?”
“And so on…” The bishop’s wife closed her eyes and a shiver shook her. “Ah. Well. I am committed to relieving this chronic discomfort which so distracts me from my duties. So. I will bow to your expertise.”
Melissa, Janine and Simon exchanged looks.
Janine and Melissa stepped forward on either side of the table and each placed a hand on the lady’s shoulder. Janine followed Melissa’s lead as they began stroking her neck and back through the colorful silk. Hortensia de Montmorency exhaled a big sigh.
Simon stepped forward directly in front of her and began very delicately pattering his fingertips on her forehead and temples, cheekbones and jawline. Tiny taps on her eyelids. A gentle massage of her ears. Melissa breathed warm breath on one side of her neck and Janine on the other. A tiny moan escaped the large woman’s lips. Her chin tilted upward and her mouth opened and relaxed. Without the need to be severe and proper Simon could see that she had a beautiful carved bow to her upper lip.