An adult stories – Revenge by Misadventure by qhml1,qhml1 Revenge?
Expending useless energy.
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John looked at me with a grin that only five beers can produce.
“So, you’re gonna let them run you out of town without gettin’ even?”
“Nobody’s running me out of town, brother. This promotion has been in the works for nine months. It’s just timing that I got it after we split up. How cold is it out there now, fifteen? Ten? I’m going to be living in the sunny South, and it looks like my house will be on a lake if they take my offer. While you’re freezing your ass off up here I’ll be sittin’ on a dock waitin’ for Mr. Big.”
“Asshole.”
I laughed. John loved to fish but he hated ice fishing. I really wish I could take him and his wife Adele with me. He was the closest thing I’d ever have to a brother and his wife was an angel.
His angel appeared just then, ordering a glass of wine and taking off her coat. “Jeez, I froze my ass off out there!”
It came out before I thought. “God, I hope not.”
She colored up and giggled. I once told her in an alcoholic fog that her ass was the gold standard all women should be judged by. Her hug told me she wasn’t angry but she still brought it up from time to time. She was especially bad to do it when we were out at a restaurant or a club.
“How about her?”
I looked at the attractive woman and grinned. “Naw. A bit flat to be perfect. Still hot, though.”
It was a running joke with us. If she wasn’t bringing it up John was, just to watch me flame red.
John kissed her and told her we were planning my revenge. She frowned and I laughed. “You need to keep him off those websites. It gives him peculiar ideas. I’m not doing anything stupid enough to put me in jail or run me broke. In two more months I’ll be living the high life and she’ll still be in this tundra with Bubba. I mean really, Bubba. Could it get anymore cliched?”
Then I laughed. “Besides, I think I got them pretty good already, don’t you?”
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It was as sad and stereotypical as it could get. I came home in the middle of the day and caught them in bed. I will admit I had murder in my eyes for a minute but then I calmed and pulled out my phone. They were in their own little world and had no idea I was there. When I had enough pictures, it hit me. Martha hated being cold and wet more than anything in the world.
It was snowing lightly, and the temperature was in the low twenties. I pulled the weather proof cover off the spigot in the garage and hooked the hose to it. We were outside the city limits and still had a well, and this time of year that water was close to freezing!
I had just enough hose to reach the doorway of the bedroom, and I waited until he announced he was about to come before I hit him full blast. He screamed and rolled off Martha. To this day I don’t think he got his rocks off. When he moved I gave her a good shot as well.
They were screaming and rolling around. Bubba tried to grab his clothes but I kept hosing him. It got to be too much for him so he ran out of the house. Into the snowstorm, stark naked. He tried to open the door to his truck but I had thoughtfully locked it before I hosed him. I was standing just inside the garage, dousing him every time he exposed himself. He was screaming and begging and the neighbors came out to see what was going on. One of the wives wanted me to stop, but my next door neighbor, a retired cop, just grinned and got his hose out. We took turns dousing him until the police arrived. They threw his ass in the car and if weren’t for my neighbor I would have been in a world of trouble. He told them Bubba was threatening me (which was true. The whole time he was steppin’ and jumpin’ he was screaming about how bad he was gonna kick my ass) and I was using nonlethal force to try to keep him away. The sargeant just grinned and asked if I wanted to press charges. I declined and even let him go in and get his clothes. My darling wife was on the sofa huddling under every blanket we had and was still shivering. The cop’s grin got bigger.
Bubba got a free trip to the hospital to be treated for exposure.
Everyone in our small town knew about the incident before night fell. I stayed over with my mother and called Martha, telling her to be out of the house in three days. She balked but my mother called the cops again, and since the house was in her name she was forced to leave.
The divorce wasn’t pretty and she almost had a nervous breakdown when she found out we didn’t own the house. In the end I gave her the car she just had to have, and half of everything we accumulated, and by we I mean me. She ended up in a small apartment, living on the lump sum I’d paid instead of alimony, trying to find a job before it ran out.
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John grinned at the memory. “Yeah, he’ll never live that down. And what your mother did, man that was priceless.”
Bubba became a joke. Every time he mouthed off where he worked they threatened to douse him with buckets of water. Women would look at him and giggle. One asked him in front of a bunch of people at the bar where the crew hung out at if he was still suffering from shrinkage, or was it always that small?
He started to slap her and ended up wearing half a dozen mugs of cold beer, and the owners banned him.
He brooded for a while, and after enough alcohol he came up with a brilliant plan. He’d go to my mother’s house and whip my ass just to prove how bad he was. He pounded on the front door, and started yelling at Mom to make me come out and face him or he’d take it out on her. The drawback to that plan was I’d already moved back into my old house.
She calmly told him to wait by the door and like the dumbass he was he did. A few minutes later she came around the side of the house with her own garden hose, and nailed him. She’d already called the law and when they got there he was screaming and chasing her down the street, finally collapsing as she darted inside the door of a neighbor, who slammed it. Mom was laughing hysterically. “Jesus is that guy out of shape! I was almost walking there at the end so he could keep up. Tammy, I bet it’ll be a while before you make fun of me running 5K’s again.”
The police picked him up and slammed him into the back of the car. He begged for a blanket, or for them to turn the heater on, but they left it stopped while they interviewed everyone. It seemed to take forever to get everyone’ statement and he started turning blue, so they called the EMT’s, who wrapped him in a space blanket and took him to the hospital. He was again treated for hypothermia and the cops that interviewed him made it very clear that if anything like this every happened again, they would be very, very slow to respond. Then they arrested him for communicating threats, trespassing, attempted assault, and public intoxication. He was three points above the legal level when they checked him at the hospital.
It took him three weeks to get out of lockup and by then he’d lost his job. On the other hand, he’d gained a new nickname. Bubba was gone forever. His new name was Hoser.
He did it all to himself and I couldn’t have asked for a better ending. He left town in the middle of the night and no one ever knew where he went.
With Hoser gone, Martha was facing the prospect of fending for herself and tried everything to force a reconciliation. But it was too little too late. Besides, I was already gone, firmly in place learning my new position. Mom told me she was engaged again a week after the divorce became final. She never did like paying her own bills.
It must have really galled her when our old house went up for sale. She tried to get her new honey to make an offer but he refused. Mom got a good price out of it, and gave the money to me, for a house at the new location. It was almost enough for me to buy the place on the lake I had looked at, and I owed less than the price of a used car when the paperwork was done. I had a plan to pay it off in three years.
A few weeks later there was a knock at my door and there stood Mom, with three suitcases. “Carry these in. I’ll be staying here until I find a new house. What? You think I was going to stay in that frozen wasteland while you were down here in the sun? Besides, you’re my only child and I refuse to be five hundred miles away when the grandbabies start coming.”
My grandparents had passed and left her their home, a two thousand square foot brick two story on a two acre lot. She’d gotten our house in the divorce settlement with my Dad, who disappeared before the first child support payment was due. Mom was a pretty smart cookie and kept the paperwork current. When they found him four years later he owed a bundle. The judge made him pay it all back, adding fifteen per cent a month to the child support he now had to pay or go to jail. When I graduated college he still owed her for two years and she wouldn’t forgive it. I guess maybe I get my vindictiveness from her. When my grandmother passed she moved into the house, giving me her old one. I’m glad now we never got around to doing the paperwork.
There was a new subdivision on the ridge above the lake, and she found a nice two bedroom ‘retirement’ cottage that just happened to look directly down on me. I saw her expensive pair of binoculars on her deck and she blushed, saying she’d taken up birdwatching.
I was still the Yankee that moved into the old Smith place five months later, but Mom was just one of the girls. In less than three months she knew all the gossip in the county. She got her new friends involved and all of a sudden I was getting invitations to meet Mom’s new friends, and by sheer coincidence there just happened to be a sweet young thing there who was between relationships at the moment. Most of the time they were as embarrassed as I was, but I did get a couple of good friends out of it. Friends that didn’t mind showing up in bikinis and staying the night.
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A year later a woman came by searching for her sister. I hadn’t been with her in months, but she had disappeared and the family was looking. She got out of the car and I was surprised to see she had two children with her, twin boys who had just turned six.
She had a judgemental look on her face, but a quick conversation relaxed her. I was keeping a pretty sharp eye on the kids and they were looking hard at the dock.
“Would you like to go out on it?”
They grabbed my hands and were tugging me along. Mom called out. “Hey! Did I give you permission to get near the water?”
I looked back over my shoulder. “It would seem you’ve been outvoted. You take one and I’ll take the other, for safety. Let them have a look around. What could it hurt?”
“They could fall in!”
“We’ll fish them out.”
“They can’t swim.”
“Then it would be the perfect time to learn.”
I laughed at the expression on her face. “Relax, I was a certified lifeguard when I was young and my first aid certificate is current. Let’s just make sure we don’t have to use it.”
They ran up and down the dock under our watchful eye and she cringed every time they got close to the edge. After they burned a little energy they started noticing things, like the schools of small fish that swarmed around the dock. I had a habit of feeding them, and the big catfish that lurked below. I’d get a cheap can of dog food and punch several decent holes in it, use one to tie off a strong line, and drop it in. In a few days it would be empty and I’d pull the can up and add another. I don’t know if it was legal but it was effective.
“Fish!”
“Yeah. Get your Dad to bring you sometime and you can fish.”
One looked at me with really sad eyes for a six year old. “Ain’t got no Dad.”
The way he said it made me think the man had passed so I offered my sympathy. She snorted. “You’re offering sympathy to the devil. He didn’t die, he just ran off for parts unknown. They haven’t seen him since they were two.”
I didn’t know what to say to that but I made the offer again, saying she could bring them. Her look gave me the idea that wouldn’t happen in this lifetime but I let it go. We were just about to the deck when Mom came around the house.
“Hi honey! Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had company.”
I just sighed. I was pretty sure her binoculars told her I did. “It’s fine Mom. This is Annabelle’s sister, sorry, I didn’t get her name. She stopped by looking for her. How about kicking the Mom Network in gear and see if you hear something. Apparently she’s been gone long enough to cause worry.”
“I’ll get right on that. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs…”
“Juliette. If you hear anything I would greatly appreciate it.”
“I’ll try, dear, and who are these fine young men?”
She smiled for the first time and it made her look worlds different. “The one on the left is Tony, to the right is Mark.”
Mark was eyeing the platter Mom was holding. She smiled. “I was just bringing my son cookies. They never get too old to refuse cookies. Would you guys like one? Maybe a lemonade?”
Juliette looked embarrassed and tried to decline. “Nonsense. One cookie won’t kill them. If it did Al would have died in his early teens.”
I got the lemonade while everyone made themselves comfortable on the deck. Mom had her phone to her ear going ‘uh-huh” a lot. Juliette seemed to be in a much better mood. Mom got off the phone and grinned.
“Betty talked to Irma, who talked to Gloria, who talked to Jade, who told her that her cousin saw your sister two towns over at the Traveler’s Rest with Joe Morgan. You know that man’s married, right? Sweet girl too. This will kill her.”
Juliette collapsed into tears and Mom cuddled her. The next thing I knew they were in her minivan headed out of town, leaving the kids with me. We eyed each other for a few minutes.
“Wanna fish?”
Why yes they did, very much. I got a couple of lightweight rods out and grabbed a few worms out of my worm farm, a plastic tub I kept stocked with nightcrawlers and fed with compost. Then I went to my boat and got two life jackets. “There’s only one of me and I want you to be safe. This way if you fall in you’ll pop right back up like a cork and be fine. Now pay attention.”
They tried as hard as six year olds could and did fairly well. Mark even caught a two pound catfish. He wanted to keep it but when I asked if he was going to skin and cook it, he let it go, after I took his picture. Tony felt a little left out until he caught a really good sized crappie and got his picture taken as well. After an hour they started to flag so we put everything up. I dropped the worms that had survived back into the tub and took them to clean up. They smelled like fish and bait pretty bad. They wanted to take a bath to get the stink off, so I put them in my whirlpool tub and turned the jets on. They were squealing and laughing as I took their clothes to the washer. They would be clean and dry soon. So would the boys, I hoped.
Their clothes had just started drying when they got out, so I helped dry them as best I could and they put on a couple of my teeshirts. They hung past their knees. Once I got them on the sofa and the bigscreen on the Cartoon Channel, I went to check on their clothes. By the time I got back they were snuggled against each other, sound asleep.
Not knowing what else to do, I started dinner, making pork chops on the grill with charred corn, one of my favorites. I had some baked beans left over so I heated that up as well. I was so wrapped up in what I was doing I didn’t hear the car pull in.
Juliette came on the deck so mad she was flaming, and Mom trailed behind grinning. Before she could explode Mom asked what happened. The movement woke the boys and they flew out, climbing on their Mom and telling her all about fishing and getting ucky and taking a bath in my swimming pool. Mom had faded back and retrieved their clothes, taking them in and dressing them.
I tried to distract her. “Did you find Annabelle?”
Tears came to her eyes. “She’s using again and that asshole married boyfriend is her dealer. It got pretty intense, especially when I called his wife and told her where he was. She was only a minute behind us and raised hell until the cops came. When they found drugs in the room Annabelle and Asshole got a free ride to jail, and his wife said she was going to use the time it takes him to get out to get a lawyer.
We’re going to try and raise her bail but I don’t know if we can.”
“She didn’t do drugs when I knew her. What happened?”
“She met and fell in love with the wrong man. He got her started and she never looked back.”
“Talk to the DA, see if he can get her to take a deal and go into rehab. If there was enough in the room she could be looking at a felony.”
“There was plenty of drugs in the room. It was why they were there, to meet their connection.”
I saw Mom and the boys heading out the patio door. “Here come your kids. Put a brave face on and enjoy the meal. I’m fairly certain cooking is the last thing on your mind right now.”
I lit candles to keep the misquitoes away. The boys gorged, their clean clothes dotted with barbeque sauce and butter, and Mom never once complained, smiling at seeing them so happy. We lit a fire later and I let them roast marshmallows, Mom helping Mark while Juliette helped Tony. I grinned, thinking the boats passing would think it was just another happy family in suburbia.
Worn out again, I had to carry them to the car, strapping them in and promising they could come back anytime Mommy said they could, as long as she came as well.
She smiled and gave me and Mom kisses on the cheek. When their tailights disappeared over the hill we went back in and started coffee.
“She’s pretty.”
“Yes she is.”
“Those boys, they’re just adorable.”
“They are.”
“She’s had it rough since her husband disappeared.”
“Mom.”
“What?”
“Stop, all right? Yes she was lovely and the kids were great, but she’s carrying around a lot of anger, and until she lets it go she won’t be a fit for anyone. I’m not in the mood to try to rehabilitate anyone.”
“Might be worth the effort.”
“Then you do it.”
I wish I hadn’t said that.
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Mom ‘adopted ‘ Juliette and soon the boys called her grandma. She practically ate their adoration with a spoon. It wasn’t long before they were trooping down the hill to spend time sunning on my deck, leaving me to wrangle the boys. I put up with it twice and the next time they came by I grinned.
“Enjoy yourself. I have things to do and I’ll be gone until tomorrow. Lock up when you leave, all right?”
I had a date with a little hottie for some simple, uncommitted, no expectations past a good time sex. We went to a hotel sixty miles away, got a room, hit the restaurant, then the lounge, where we partied until the wee hours. Then we fell back into the room ripping clothes and playing with body parts until we were naked. The first time was fast and furious but we still both got off, then we cuddled and slept for a couple of hours before we had a more relaxed round two. We got up late, showered, and then went back to bed to impress each other with our oral skills. I think I won, bringing her to three climaxes to my one. We showered and checked out, and I made it a point to stop by an upscale boutique on the way home to buy her a new dress. The old one was in pieces in her suitcase.
I dropped her off with a lingering kiss at the door, and then I went home. If we saw each other again it would be fun, but there was no spark past the sex and we both knew it, so I doubted a repeat.
Mom was at my door an hour later. “Did you have a good time?”:
“I had an excellent time, Mom. Thanks for asking.”
“Juliette was a little upset when you left.”
“Why? Because she had to watch her own kids for a change? You adopted them, not me. You raise them. And I’m talking about the Mom more than the kids.”
Mom was more than a little hot. “That was uncalled for! I know how stubborn you are. I was just hoping to nudge you a little. She’s a very nice woman.”
“How would I know? Every time I see her she has you and the kids, and we don’t get to have a lot of conversation except over wrangling the boys. Mom, you’re not nudging. You’re pushing. Let it be.”
That made her go quiet and she left shortly afterwards.
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Two weeks later Juliette pulled into my driveway. I was surprised to see her alone. I gave her a quick hug. “Where are the boys?”
“They’re having a sleepover at your Mom’s, along with Jan’s two. They put up a tent in the yard but I’m willing to bet the first time an owl hoots they’ll make a beeline for the house. I came to ask if you’d take me out on your boat. It would be really nice to have a little adult time on the water. That is, if you’re not busy.”
“I’ll have to check my social calendar. Well would you look at that! I happen to be free this afternoon and evening. I’ll go get it ready and we’ll put a cooler together. I won’t drink while I operate the boat, but there’s almost a full bottle of that red you like in the fridge. Grab it and a few waters, a little finger food, and we’ll be good to go.”
I had a pretty good sized boat, halfway between a cabin cruiser and a runabout, with a really powerful engine capable of pulling waterskiers with ease. She already had the cooler ready and had changed into a really nice bikini and wrap. She grinned when she saw my look. “I’m going to get a little sun while we’re out. Keep your eyes on the water!”
“I make no promises.”
I took the time to slip into my shorts and grab a few beach towels.
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I have to say we had a really good time. She was more relaxed than I’d ever seen her. I tried teaching her how to drive the boat but she wasn’t interested. We were running at a pretty good clip and she was watching the water go past. “I bet you could easily pull a skier with this thing. I used to love that.”
I slowed the boat down to idle and reached in a locker, pulling out a pair of skis and a floatation belt. She was saying no and shaking her head but her body was ready to go. It took her a couple of attempts to stand, but in thirty minutes she was having a ball. I noticed a couple of boats go by and the guys were whooping but I put it down to a pretty woman in a little bikini, until I reached down to help her into the boat. Her bikini was tiny and she was pretty well endowed, and the friction of the water and the wind had dragged her top down below her nipples. Very nice, very erect nipples.
I grinned and told her she might want to make a wardrobe adjustment. She looked down but instead of screaming she giggled. “That explains the guys going by me. I guess I gave them a show, huh?”
Just as she said it a boatload of kids, high school and college guys, motored by. One was leaning almost off the boat.
“SHOW YOUR TITS!”
He screamed it to wild laughter, and instead of getting mad she stepped to the side of the boat and jerked her top off, twirling it around over her head. Then she turned around and grabbed her bottoms, tugging them unitl they were just a band between her cheeks, and bent over. They almost hit another boat.
They she skipped back under the canopy out of their sight, and I hit the throttle, going wide open until they were completely out of sight.
“So you’re an exhibitionist now?”
“You complaining?”
“Not in the least. Feel free to exhibit everything you’re comfortable with around me. I’ll never complain.”
She was about to put her top on, grinned, and tossed it down. “I’m gonna get some sun. Don’t let me burn.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
Juliette rolled her eyes. “You can start by making sure I have on enough sunblock.”
I killed the engines and dropped the anchor in a small cove. “I can do that for you.”
There was a little platform on the front of the boat specifically for situations like this. It was below the deck line and you couldn’t be seen by passing boats. She lay down and I noted she hadn’t pulled her bikini back into place. In the mood to tease, I started at her toes and went up to just short of her ass, turning her over and doing the same thing. Then I did her neck, back, and all of her front except for the peaks that stood high and proud. Her nipples were distended and she was panting with frustration.
“Why didn’t you do the good parts?”
“Because I hate the taste of suntan oil,” I said, as I sucked the right nipple into my mouth quickly, putting a lot of pressure on it and biting down gently. She shrieked and came almost all the way off the platform. For the next thirty minutes we rolled on and off the platform, and at the end I had Juliette up on her knees with her breasts hanging off the side of the boat. If anyone had passed by they would have gotten an eyeful, as well as a lesson in dirty talk. I finished and dragged her back down with me to cuddle.
We stayed on the lake for another couple of hours before having round two on my bed. She dozed off and I called Mom to make sure she had the boys. She giggled and told me she did, and I told her Juliette was taking a nap. Then I asked her to give us a couple of hours before bringing the boys down for dinner.
I did all the prep, made the sides, let the steaks marinade and rest until it was time to get her up. I kissed her awake and once she got conscious she lunged off the bed.
“The boys! I’m late…”
I stopped her by giving her a kiss. “They’re just fine. Mom is bringing them down in about thirty minutes, so I suggest you hit the shower and get presentable. I’m going to start the coals.
By the time Mom and the boys arrived Juliette was dressed in her shorts and one of my tees, her hair up in a wet ponytail. Mom grinned at her and she flamed red. Then they locked down on each other in a big hug. I took the boys outside with me so they could have ‘the talk’. They both came out grinning and sat at the table sipping tea until I plated the food. Then Mom pulled out the banana pudding she had slipped down and hidden in the fridge while we were on the lake.
Mom and I both got nice hugs from Juliette and the boys, as well as a few kisses from her when the boys weren’t paying attention. We watched as the taillights disappeared around the bend. Mom grinned at me.
“Not now. Let me process this for a day or two.”
She kissed me on the cheek and left, practically skipping up the hill.
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Juliette and I started dating. She was a bit unpredictable at first, and it took her a few months to adjust to a man that treated her with respect. She lived with me on the weekends, while the boys spent their time between us and Mom’s house.
I’d turned them into pretty good fishermen and deck hands. On their birthday, we had a party for them. They seemed popular because I had about twenty kids and their parents swarming my house, while Mom and Juliette played hostess. Mom baked two kinds of cakes, saying evey child should have his own cake, and while Tony liked Red Velvet, Mark liked lemon. The kids all took a small slice of each, and the parents with us weren’t shy about accepting a slice.
I met some pretty nice people, and a few couples were invited to a day on the lake, sans kids, in a couple of weeks. I’d gotten the boys really nice, lightweight rods, short enough for them to handle, and soon the fathers that were along were helping me wrangle kids on the dock while they beat the water. All my baiting played off, and they all caught little bream or crappie.
As the afternoon wore on, we lit the grills and had a meal, dogs, burgers, brats, a bunch of pork chops and some chicken breasts, while Juliette and Mom laid out the sides. The baked beans were a big hit, and I knew a few tee shirts weren’t going to survive the stains, but nobody seemed to mind. Then we built a fire in my pit and they got to roast marshmallows and make s’mores. Most of them had to be carried when they left.
Mom took the boys in for their baths, and Jules and I finally got a chance to sit. We both sighed as we kicked off our shoes. Mom came out forty-five minutes later and woke us up, telling us she was leaving. We barely made it through showers before we collapsed into bed.
I was surprised when Mom joined us on the boat with the other couples we’d invited, and she wasn’t alone. Hiram seemed like a nice guy, and it was plain he was smitten with Mom, so I relaxed. We rode around for a couple hours before pulling up to a small island, building a fire in the ring provided, and ate a leisurely meal. They wouldn’t let me do anything, saying I was due to be pampered. Jules, Mom, and the other wives and girlfriends waited on me hand and foot.
The beer and wine came out, and soon the girls were off to themselves, laughing and giggling, when one shrieked. “You didn’t!” and the all burst out laughing. I was wondering if I was going to have to issue life vests as we helped a couple onto the boat.
Jules had a pretty nice bikini, as well as Jenny and a woman named Charisma. Alice had on a modest but high cut yellow one piece, and I wondered if there was a bikini top ever made that could hold her breasts in. 44D, her husband bragged later.
They were all sitting up front, at the sunken sunbathing spot, when a bunch of college age or better men went by. They noticed the women and the guy driving the boat almost laid it over turning around.
They cruised back slowly, whistling and howling, before one stood up, wobbling wildly. “SHOW YOUR TITS!”
They were laughing, we were laughing, and suddenly Jules and Jenny stood, whipping of their tops and spinning them above their heads. Charisma jumped up next, then Alice looked at her husband and grinned, standing up and pulling her top down, spilling one impressive set of mammary glands. The boys were screaming, and then came the icing on the cake. Mom shocked us all when jumped up and popped her top.
“Nice boobs, Grandma!,” nne screamed. By then we were by them and I sped up before they could turn. It took a couple of miles before the girls all had their tops back on. The husbands were laughing, which relaxed me. You never knew when you would find a jealous asshole. That incident was laughed about for years.
I made a couple of good friends, fishing and golfing buddies. Usually the wives or girlfriends would show up at my house and sunbathe, keeping an eye on the kids as they swarmed around.
Summer finally ended, and we took a couple of cruises to enjoy the fall foliage. Jules was still just spending the weekend with me, while the boys and I were hoping they would all move in permanently. The first few times I brought it up, she brushed me off, saying she just wasn’t ready.
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Then the rumors started. She was seen with the same man three times, once in a restaurant in the next town over, and twice in local clubs. Mom was the one who told me. She had tears in her eyes.
“It might be nothing, son, but I felt you deserved to know.”
A firm believer in seeing is believing, I dropped by the four clubs in our town. They weren’t at any of them, but I saw her car at the third after I decided to go home. She must have gotten there late.
They were cheek to cheek on the floor, no space between them, and he was rubbing her ass through those tight jeans. I watched for half an hour, until they went outside. I gave it a few minutes and walked out, stopping by her car. It was hard to tell if they were doing anything serious but the windows were steamed up. I didn’t hesitate, knocking on the window until he rolled it down. I could see her bra lying on his lap.
“What you want, asshole?”
“Oh, nothing. Just wanted to say hello to Juliette. I’ll be on my way now. You two have fun.”
Her eyes went wide when she heard me speak, but by then I was walking away, I heard a car door open and a scream, but by then I was to my truck, slinging gravel as I went out of the parking lot.
It took her two weeks to work up the nerve to come by, without the boys. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure, come on in. It’s a little nippy out here now.”
Because of the season I offered her a cup of coffee, and when it was poured we sat down at the kitchen table. She took a few sips before she started speaking. “Want me to tell you about it?”
“Not particularly, but if you feel the need to unburden yourself, go ahead.”
I think the answer surprised her. “I never promised we were exclusive.”
“You’re right. On the other hand, you never told me you were seeing someone else, of is it elses?”
“It’s just Gary.”
“Well, that’ll make me sleep better. I had myself tested the Friday afterwards, just got the results back. I’m clean.”
“He’s clean! Why are you being nasty?”
“You haven’t seen the edge of nasty yet. Do you have feelings for him?”
“Yes. No. I’m confused!”
“Good thing I’m not. I won’t be your fallback plan, Jules. You can’t sleep with him during the week and then drag your leftovers to me on the weekend. You knew I wanted to take our relationship deeper. Boy, that would have been a mistake. I think, Juliette, that you should stay away from me for a while, until you get unconfused. It won’t make any difference, I could never trust you again, so let’s agree it was fun and move on with our lives. Bring the boys around, don’t keep them from my mother, or me for that matter. None of this is their fault.”
She spent almost an hour trying to get me to go along with the situation, before she sighed, gave me a hug, and left. Mom was devastated. She had become really attached to the boys. She called Jules a couple of weeks later, telling her she wanted to see the boys, insisting she bring them by for a visit. She didn’t stay, dropping them off and saying she’d be back in three hours.
Mom said they were really sad that I wasn’t seeing their mom any more, and asked if she thought I was mad at them. She immediately called me, and I had two happy boys climbing all over me thirty minutes later. I told them they were always welcome, whether I was with their mom or not, and promised them we’d fish as soon as it was warm again.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Winter passed, with one snow the whole season. Back home, it snowed just after Thanksgiving and the ground stayed white until late March. That was a little harsh, even for there.
I talked John and Adele into coming to visit me in February. They stayed a week and we even got a little fishing in. Adele spent time with Mom while I took John golfing, and the week went by quickly. They talked about how much they hated going back, so I made my pitch. “Move down here. I can get John a job where I work, probably for more than he’s making now, and the cost of living is pretty low. Both your parents are retired and living even farther South, so you probably would get to see them more. I got plenty of room, so you can stay with me until you find something you like. Think about it.”
I didn’t tell them I’d gotten a promotion and was now the asssistant plant manager, with a good raise and some nice perks. They promised to think about it, but I knew John wouldn’t come. He liked his job and had a big network of friends. Adele would have moved in a heartbeat.
They had married right after she graduated from high school, eight years ago. I wondered why they didn’t have kids yet, she was 26 and John was a few years older, and the clock had to be ticking. I asked Mom about it about a week after they left. A look of sadness crossed her face. “They can’t have kids, honey. Some kind of disease caused John not to be able to father children. Adele wants to adopt, but he’s not too keen on it.”
“Why? If it was me, I’d be all for it, especially if my wife wanted it.”
She shrugged. “Men are different, honey. He might think that every time he looks at an adopted child it would remind him he couldn’t give her one. You never know.”
I guess you didn’t.
I dated pretty regularly, being one of the most eligible batchelors in the area helped, I guess. And even though at least three had wanted to take the relationship deeper, there wasn’t enough spark to make me consider it. Mom was getting desperate.
Then something happened that changed my life. I got a call in the middle of the night, not understanding a thing the woman was trying to say. She finally calmed down and told me I needed to get up there. John was sick. I tired to soothe Adele as much as I could over the phone, then called Mom.
She was with me on the plane. Mom had always been fond of John and Adele, calling him her second son, and Adele the daughter she never had. We rented a car at the airport, and an hour later we were pulling into their drive. Adele met us at the door, melting into Mom’s arms, sobbing. I found John propped up on the couch.
I knew looking at him he wasn’t long for this world. Always a little chunky but with plenty of muscles, he looked like he might weigh a hundred and fifty or less. His skin was kind of gray, and his breathing was labored. He still grinned when he saw me. “I know, I look like shit.”
He had cancer, and it had spread fast. He resisted going to the doctor until it was too late, and there was nothing they could do for him but send him home and write a prescription for pain medications. They gave him three months, five months ago. I sat by his bed and we talked all night, remembering things we’d done, places we’d gone, friends we never saw any more, rambling from one subject to the next, laughing at times, quietly weeping at others.
Towards morning he grabbed my hand. “Take care of her, dude. Promise me.”
I gave him my solemn pledge and he relaxed. Later the next day he gave me a folder. “Everything she’s gonna need. Insurance information, banking, I paid for the funeral the week after I found out. She’s not going to be thinking clearly so you need to guide her.”
I tried to brush it off. “We got plenty of time for that. You need to hold on.”
By then he was in a hospital bed in the den, and he grinned. “You always were an optomist.”
That night he passed, in his sleep, with his wife holding his hands. He was 33, and she was 27.
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
The rest was a blur. I notified the funeral home, and they sent someone to collect the body. The police were called out, and the coroner looked him over in the morgue, before rubberstamping the death certificate. We followed his instructions to the letter, and I was surprised at the turnout. Then again, everybody that knew him loved him. I sat on one side of her during the funeral, and her father sat on the other. Mom was beside me, and Adele’s mother was beside her.
I used up all the vacation time I had, guiding her through the paperwork that always follows a death. I gave a copy of the death certificate to their insurance agent, and she got the check in a week. The agent was a friend and it was pretty cut and dried. I finally had to go back to work, and Mom promised to stay with her for a while.
She stayed three weeks, and when she came home, Adele was with her. Mom said she wanted to get her away from the memories that kept popping up with every turn. Adele was a zombie for another month before she came to me.
“I need a job. Your mother is wonderful, but I need to get out and at least try to be productive again. Between the insurance and selling the house, I’ve got about four hundred thousand, so I need to go house hunting. ”
I was overjoyed she was going to stay down here. I told her how happy I was and she gave me a rare smile. “I’d have moved down here when you offered. John was the stubborn one. I don’t think I could have faced another winter there, especially alone.”
My company hired her on my recommendation. We didn’t work together, but we did eat lunch together three or four times a week. It turns out she was very good at the job she got, improving our efficiency in that department by 4%, and while that doesn’t sound like much, the owners were estactic.
She made friends, and found a small apartment. “It’s all I need for right now. I think I’d like to live on the lake, so maybe we could go see some properties after I’m settled in. I’d like your opinion.”
I saw her once, at one of the clubs, at a girls’ night out. She was laughing and on the dance floor almost constantly, but I noted she never slow danced with anyone, and never accepted drinks.
She and John had been joined at the hip from the time she was fifteen, so I imagine the club scene and her dating skills were a little rusty. We talked about it the next Monday during lunch. “I saw you Saturday. You still got your moves, girl.”
Adele blushed before grinning. “Why didn’t you come over? I’d have loved to dance with you.”
“I was in the pool room, in the darts tournament. Did pretty good until this Brit showed up. I don’t know if they invented the game, but they sure know how to throw. Besides, I didn’t want old memories overshadowing new.”
Her face was somber. “I did have a good time, but when I got home I felt guilty.”
“You shouldn’t. It’s been almost a year since we lost him, and you had a lot of good years. I’d kill to have a woman love me like you loved him, but he’s gone, and you’re still here, still young, and you deserve happiness. He was probably laughing his ass off, watching.”
“Why haven’t you found someone else? You’re not repulsive, have a good job and a house on the lake, I figured some local would have snapped you up any minute.”
“I came close a couple of times, but they didn’t work out. I have to believe she’s out there somewhere, but she’s doing a pretty good job of hiding right now.”
“I wouldn’t worry much. As soon as you stop looking you’ll find her. She was probably right under your nose the whole time.”
“If she is the military needs to hire her immediately, as a camoflage expert.”
We talked of other things, and then went back to work.
…………………………………………………….
Winter came again, and Adele thought she found her second Mr. Right. He was personable, always ready with a joke, and pretty good looking, according to Mom. Something about him set my teeth on edge, but she seemed happy and I marked it up to misplaced loyalty to my old friend.
They started dating in the fall, and by February he was living in her apartment, and she confided to Mom she was expecting a ring soon. I wasn’t thrilled with the news, but if she was happy, then I was glad for her. Then the cracks started appearing. He lost his job and was in no hurry to find another. After all, Adele had plenty of money for both of them. At first it was gas money while he searched for work, then she put him on her phone plan and paid that bill. If they wanted to go out, it was always on her dime.
She was down one day at work, and I asked her why. The story came out, then she dropped the bombshell. “He says we can’t have lunch together any more. Said it didn’t look good for a woman in a committed relationship to spend so much time with another man.”
I took a deep breath and made sure I didn’t blurt out what I was thinking, but I was pretty sharp. “We’ve been friends for fifteen years, long before he came on the scene. If you want to give that friendship up I have no choice but to go along, but I have to tell you it would suck. I’ve kept my nose out of your relationship but I need to tell you this. The guy’s a loser, Adele. Tell him if he doesn’t want you going out to lunch with friends he should do something, like maybe get a job and pay his own bills, then take any extra money and spend it on you. Maybe take you to lunch himself a few times a week, on his dime. I’m sorry honey, but the gloves are off, and truth be told I can’t stand him. You’re a fool if you marry him, and if you do don’t expect to see me at the wedding. Good luck, you’re gonna need it.”
I got up and left in the middle of the meal, and the last thing I saw was her sitting at the table, bright red, with her mouth hanging open. The next couple of times she called me for lunch I made sure I was too busy to go. She looked like she was going to cry every time she saw me at work.
Then it happened. We were experiencing one of our rare snowstorms, and I was sitting in front of my fireplace, alternating looking at the flames or the snow coming down outside, when a car pulled into my drive. I idly wondered who would be out in this storm, there was easily three inches on the ground, and Southerners weren’t known for their snow driving expertise. I made it a point to stay off the roads, not because I didn’t know how to drive in conditions like this, but because ninety per cent of my neighbors didn’t.
I’d laugh my ass off after a snowfall, seeing all the vehicles in the ditch. Sometimes I’d grab the tow strap, put my truck in four wheel drive, and ride around pulling people out. I wouldn’t take money, but I never turned down cookies or a cake from grateful wives.
I opened my door to see Adele getting out of the car, but instead of rushing in out of the storm, she was moving slow. I pulled her into the house, shocked when she raised her head. Her left eye was swollen shut, and was already turning purple. She was walking slow because she had a tremendous bruise on her ribs that was making it hard to breathe.
I got her sat down by the fire, taking her soaked trainers and sweater off, and wrapping her in blankets, and giving her a towel for her hair. Then I cuddled her until she calmed down.
“What happened?”
“I finally got fed up and told Trey to leave. I gave him an ultimatum, get a job and start contributing, or we were over. I told him I wanted kids, but not one that was 34 years old. It started when he found a truck he just had to have, and he wanted me to make a five thousand dollar downpayment and put it in my name. He was really pissed when I told him no, if he wanted it, earn the money to buy it. Things went downhill from there.
He stormed off, and came back three hours later driving the truck, telling me I needed to get my ass down to the dealership in the morning to give them the check and fill out the paperwork. When I told him not no, but hell no, he went apeshit.”
“I bet if your Yankee honey asked, you’d do it for him!”
“Absolutely, but it wouldn’t matter. In the first place Al has too much pride to pull a stunt like that, and he’s always had a job, going back to when he was fifteen years old. He’d die of embarrassment before he’d ask a girlfriend something like that.”
She cried for a second before calming down. “That’s when he punched me in the ribs. I went down, but came up with that brass lamp you always thought was so ugly. He got my eye before I hit him as hard as I could in his tiny balls. He was on the floor moaning when I left.”
I immediately called one of my fishing buddies, who happened to be a cop, and told him what happened. “She needs to file a complaint. We’re running our four wheel drive vehicles right now, and the storm’s got them with their hands full, but first thing tomorrow she needs to come in, if she can, and do the paperwork. I’m going to tell them you did a phone report because of the storm, and to keep an eye out for him. She’s gonna stay with you, right?”
“She’s not going anywhere.”
“Good. I doubt he’ll try to come after her in this weather, but keep an eye out. It might be a good idea to take a couple of pictures and send them to us, while the marks are fresh.”
“Surely he’s not that stupid. Thanks, Hank, we’ll be in as soon as the roads clear. I’ll send the pictures in a few minutes.”
……………………………………………………………………
It turns out he was that stupid, and all the alcohol he’d consumed lowered his IQ even farther. Like I said, I live right on the lake, and my backyard slants towards it. He came roaring in, driving the new truck, and clipped my truck because he couldn’t get stopped. That sent him into a spin, sliding towards the water, and by the time he got stopped the rear end was in the lake, and it didn’t matter how hard he gunned it, it wasn’t moving.
I didn’t believe in guns, which amused my new friends no end, and right them I was thinking I should have listened to them. He came staggering up the hill, slipping, sliding, and falling down three times before he made it to the door. Addie had called the cops,and they told us not to answer the door, so we ignored his screaming and pounding. Then he got smart and walked into my open garage and pounded on that door, screaming about what he was going to do to both of us.
We would have let him rant, but he got smart and pulled a hammer out of my tool box and started smashing in the door. I didn’t have a baseball bat or anything like that, but I had a pair of brand new Ugly Sticks, a type of rod noted for it’s strength and flexibility. I grabbed one up and Adele yanked the door open. I swung with all I had, and it put a pretty good whelp on his cheek. He screamed and dropped the hammer, covering his face, when Adele laid it across his legs. His scream sounded primal, and he staggered back into the garage, followed by both of us. He was curled up in a ball and moaning as we went to town on him. I don’t know when we would have stopped, but a cop got there.
He took in the damage to my truck, the other truck in the water, and came in with his gun drawn. The hammer was on the floor, the dents were on the door, and he yelled for us to stop. I did, throwing the rod down, but Addie got about three good licks in before she dropped hers. The deputy had him in handcuffs in no time, as he lay on the floor.
He gave the guy a look of disgust. “Dude, are you crying? What a pussy! I’d say grow a set but the woman in there would probably beat them off of you. Sir, you are under arrest for tresspassing, damaging personal property, attempted breaking and entering, assault on a female, general assault, and whatever else I can come up with between here and the jail. Your life just turned to shit. Now don’t say a goddamned thing between here and the jail, to protect your rights. You understand?”
He left him lying in the cold garage while he took our statements, then I had to help pick him up to get him into the back of the SUV.
I got Adele into the shower to warm up, leaving her one of my tees and a thick robe. She slept with me that night, for security. Still, it felt mighty fine to have her snuggled up to me. I woke before her the next morning to see Mom in our kitchen, grinning like crazy. The grin went away when I told her what happened. “Put some coffee on, and start breakfast. I’ve got some major mothering to do.”
They didn’t come out until breakfast was done, and I was surprised that Adele ate as much as she did. They had scraped most of the roads by the afternoon, and Mom took her home in my truck, to gather a few things. She was going to stay with her for a while, until she felt safe.
They came home with glum looks. Mom gave me the news. “He trashed the apartment, broke up the furniture, and threw most of her clothes out in the snow. We sorted what was salvagable, and both our washers and dryers are going to be going for a while. She reported it to the apartment managers, telling them who did it. They’re looking at charging him for the damage to the walls and kitchen sinks, but it looks like Adele’s security deposit won’t be refunded at the end of the lease.”
…………………………………………………..
The attack happened on Friday, so asshole didn’t get in front of a judge until Monday, and when he did he almost fainted when they read the charges. The car dealership he’d gotten the truck from was after him, because over the course of the two days it took for a wrecker to come out, it had slipped all the way under the water, totally ruining the engine and the value of the truck. Even if they fixed it, it would have to be sold under a salvage title and most banks wouldn’t loan money on a salvage title. The truck was three years old and valued at $34,000.
The trespassing charge was upgraded to felony tresspass, a much more serious charge. The damage to my truck came to six thousand, and because the truck he was driving had dealer tags on it, the dealership was forced to pay for the repairs, which they immediately added to their suit. The damage to the apartment came to 4,000 for structural repairs, and her furniture and personal belongings were priced at three grand.
Then there were the assault charges, assault on a female being a really serious thing in this state. Add to that the two attempted assault charges, the attempted breaking and entering, and he was up the creek without even a boat, let along paddle. His bail was set at $200,000, something he had no way of raising, even the 10% a bail bondsman would require.
The judge asked him why he was covered in purple stripes, and when he found out the reason he almost didn’t hold in his laughter. “Fishing rods? Boy, your face looks like it went through a grinder. I hope they fade over time.”
A lot didn’t. When he went to trial five months later, there were still marks on his face and arms, and a lot more on his body that the clothes hid. He couldn’t afford a lawyer, and his public defender told him his best option was to make a plea deal. The DA lumped everything serious together and dropped some of the lesser charges, but he’ll have to do four years before he’s eligible for a parole hearing. When everyone involved hit him with civil suits, there were a lot of judgements against him. When he gets out, he’ll be about $120,000 in debt.
No one involved figured they’d never see a dime unless he won a lottery or inherited a bunch of money, but it would keep him from getting anything that requires payments for at least seven years.
Adele had to go into therapy over her fear. It took almost a year before she was anything close to back to normal, and she bought a gun, went through safety courses and conceal carry classes, and goes armed just about everywhere. She even bought special pocketbooks that allowed her to shoot without removing the weapon.
Mom kept her for six months, and she spent a lot of time with me, sleeping in the guest room. That usually lasted until about midnight before she would slip into bed and snuggle. It always made me happy and sad at the same time.
It got a little awkward one night when I had the woman I was seeing over and Adele showed up unannounced. By then she had her own key so she just unlocked the door and walked in. Banty ( a nickname she got from being so small, like a Bantam chicken) and I were in the preliminaries of what I hoped was going to be a very nice night. I had her top off and her arms pinned at her side, biting gently on her tiny breast. I could get the whole boob in my mouth if I sucked hard enough, something I practiced dilligently. She was screaming and threatening to do bad things to me, but that reduced to a coo once I got her in my mouth.
Adele yelled something to me as she came in, took one look at us, turned around,and ran out. I had to close the door behind her. Banty was giving me the evil eye, wanting to know why that bitch had a key to my house.
She calmed down when I told her the story of my long relationship with Adele, all the way back to grade school, and how her husband had been my best friend. I finished with the incident that led to her having a key, so she would always have a safe place to go. She giggled.
“My hero! Who knew a fishing rod could be such a vicious weapon?”
“If her ex didn’t, he does now. The cops told me some of the whelps we raised were permanent. For the rest of his life, inside prison and out, every time he thinks about doing something foolish I hope they hurt.”
“Call her and tell her to get her ass back here. I wanna meet your sister.”
It took an hour to coax her back to the house. Banty met her at the door with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and whispered in her ear. “He might be a little grumpy. You coming back derailed all his plans. Well, I hear delayed gratification makes it sweeter. A lesson he’ll have to learn.”
Addie flamed red before giggling, and when they came in arm and arm, I knew I was in for a long night. They were still giggling, sharing secrets, starting on their third bottle of wine, when I gave up and went to bed.
I was up bright and early, so I put on a pot of coffee, then woke Banty with a big kiss and a smack on the ass. “Get up, lazybones. Breakfast will be ready in thirty.”
She moaned and tried to hide her head, and I snatched the comforter off the bed, admiring that tight little body in her tiny panties and camisole. She snarled, but I grabbed her up and gave her another kiss, then pointed to the three ibuprofen and the glass of water on her nightstand.
She swallowed the pills and drank the water. “Give me an hour before breakfast. I’m going to go get your other girlfriend up. I hope she feels as bad as I do.”
I piddled around, drank the coffee, then set another pot. I heard the shower start and a few moans. The they strutted into the kitchen. Banty was in a new camisole panty combo, and as far as I could tell all Addie had on was one of my tee shirts. They giggled at the look on my face and teased me without mercy while they ate breakfast.
“We’re going out on the boat this afternoon. Get it ready.” Then they threw on shorts and tees, jumped into Addie’s car, and took off. A little while later I saw the car in my mother’s driveway, and I idly wondered if they would leave poor Hiram alone. He’d moved in a few months back and just last week I noted Mom’s new ring. It was a rock. Hiram was pretty successful, and was prone to spoil Mom if she’d let him.
They came in laughing a couple of hours later. “Mom’s getting married!”
I grinned at Adele. “What gave it away? The fact that her left hand practically drags the ground from the weight of the rock on her finger? The really good mood she’s been in lately? Can’t get anything by you girls, huh?”
They rolled their eyes, and started talking about wedding plans. Mom and Hiram came down and announced they were coming along, so we cast off with high hopes and a cooler full of wine and beer. Hiram drank as much as I’d ever seen him do, and we talked.
“Nervous?”
“Absolutely. Your mother is a lot of woman and I hope I can make her happy in the furure.”
“Too late for that, you’ve already succeeded in making her as happy as I’ve seen her since before Dad passed. I can hear her now, sighing and looking at me with big eyes.”
“You know, it’s just a shame your poor mother is getting married before you do. It looks like I’ll have to depend on Lisa and Jerry for grandchildren.” They were Hiram’s children from his first marriage.
He grinned. “Yeah, well, she’s already highjacked Lisa’s two. She spent most of yesterday baking with them and teaching them to call her Grandma, smiling every time they said it. That being said, there’s two fine women up front. Either one would make an excellent daughter-in-law. Think about it.”
“Damn, you too? I’m doomed.”
…………………………………………………………….
Banty and Adele became best friends. In fact, I found myself a little jealous of the time they spent together. They made quite the pair. Adeld was a big girl with long blond hair, and Banty was tiny at five feet even, and weight ninety-eight pounds. She wore her jet black hair short, which showed off the diamond studs I’d gotten her for her birthday.
We’d met at a company event. She was a vendor but they were invited, and she got chosen as the one to show the flag. I thought she was a kid at first until she turned around, and I got a good look at her body, clad in a simple top and shorts, and the first thing that popped into my mind was now I knew what a Goddess left in the dryer too long looked like. The image made me grin and she smiled back.
My PA, who was a good buddy of my Mom, introduced us. Mom had included her in the quest to marry me off, and I had to set boundaries from time to time, which she promptly stepped over. She would grin. “You won’t fire me, you told me just the other day I was the best you ever saw at what I do. Besides, if you did, your mother would make your life miserable until you got me back. She thinks I need a raise, you might want to talk that over with her. Now, like I was saying, young Seirra, the new hire in accounting, she’s as cute as a bug. Single too. I’d bet she’d love it if someone showed her around.”
“Then arrange it, just not with me. She doesn’t work for me, but her boss does and if we hit it off and then split, bad things could happen. I won’t do any fishing in the company pond.”
She sighed. “Bev said you were stubborn. Forget Seirra, there’s a lot of women in this town looking for you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you, or someone like you. Young, professional, established in a good career, with a nice house and paycheck. You’re not too bad on the eyes either. Overall you’re a pretty good breeding prospect. You lose a few points for being a Yankee, but I’m sure they would be willing to put in the effort to train you.”
With that in mind, I still wanted to meet this pint sized sexpot. She seemed delighted to meet me, then she turned to Gladys. “Am I twenty-three, or four?”
Gladys turned red, which I thought a novel look. “Twenty-Six, but I feel good about this.”
Alicia, Banty’s real name, smiled at my confusion. “That’s the number of times you’ve been introduced to eligible young ladies. There’s a pool going in your company, well several, in fact. What the lucky number will be, how soon you’ll marry, the time and sex of your first child…”
“Jesus! You guys are easily amused.”
She shrugged. “It’s a small town. There’s not a lot going on. We’ll cut to the chase. I’m 27, never been married, have three brothers and one sister, a good job, and of course, I’m smokin’ hot in the sack.”
“Good information to have. I’m sure you know everything about me down to the size of my underwear, but I’ll hit the high spots. I’m 34, been married once and it didn’t end well, own my own home at the lake, love to fish and spend time on the water, and if we get together I’ll determine your level of hotness firsthand.”
“You prefer knit boxers, in a 34 waist. Lake fishing is boring. Give me a stream and a fly rod any time. I prefer to hunt my fish, not sit in a boat swillin’ beer and hoping something commits suicide on my hook.”
“Well then, we shall agree to disagree. There’s something soothing about sitting in the middle of the night and listening to the sounds of nature under a full moon. If you’re a stalker, I’m more of an ambush predator, knowing the nature and habits of my prey, silently waiting for the opportunity to strike without warning.”
“Then I’ll keep a close eye on you, wouldn’t want to fall into traps. Let’s get a water and find a shady spot, and discuss it further.”
I grinned. “Typical Southerner, choosing the shade to conduct business when it’s hot, and in the sun when it’s cold.”
“Practicality developed over the ages.”
I turned around to speak to Gladys, and found her gone. “Where did Gladys go?”
I can still see her smirk. “Probably to tell whoever took 26 they’re about to be a good bit richer.”
And that was the beginning of our relationship. We talked for another hour, until she had to leave. I stood to tell her goodbye and she jumped into my arms, laying a really nice kiss on me. She wriggled loose and grinned. “Just a sample! Are you lips tingling? I tried to keep it down, wouldn’t want you burnt on first contact.”
I was still trying to form words when she ran off.
I turned around to see Gladys and six of the office ladies grinning at me.”Not the first word, Gladys,” I said, as I strode away. I heard the laughter and looked to see her with her phone out. Mom would have a full report before I was in my truck.
………………………………………………..
Banty showed up the next Wednesday. I looked up to see her standing in my doorway. Her grin made me feel good. “Come on, you’re taking me to lunch. Somewhere nice, I know you can afford it. Oh, and when we pass Gladys expect a big smooch. Might as well start marking my territory now.’
It was indeed a big smooch, and I grinned at Gladys when she let go. “I’ll be a little late coming back. Gladys. Take a message if anything comes up.”
She mumbled, “yes, boss,” while she was trying to get her phone out.
“Gladys? I’ll be at the Honey Hog, if my mother needs to reach me.”
Alicia was still laughing when we went out the door.
Lunch led to dinner. I took her to the closest city, the entertainment options in town were limited to say the least. I think she enjoyed the Dinner theater, and we walked a bit before going home. She felt really good on my arm, despite the height difference.
We talked and texted a lot over the next few weeks. I felt like we hit some kind of milestone when she invited me to Sunday dinner (lunch, to us non-Southereners), to meet her family.
I think they liked me. Her Dad had his cooking rig out, and five boston butts were on the grill, as well as three chickens and a brisket. “Ain’t worth firin’ up for just a couple of butts,” he told me, as I shoveled coals in while he tended the meat. I watched and learned, because I wanted to be able to replicate what he’d done. We talked about rubs and favorite sauces. He was surprised I favored the vinegar/pepper flake version over the sugary Piedmont sauces.
I’d been with him for forty-five minutes before we were both confronted by a very pissed off woman. “That’s enough Daddy. Let him loose, Mom hasn’t had her chance yet.”
He kissed her cheek and grinned. “He ain’t bad, honey, for a Yankee.”
I wondered if that was a seal of approval.
Alicia’s mother was almost as diminuative as her, but she had blond hair. She was sweet, and unassuming, but when we were done talking I kind of understood Gesatpo interrogation techniques. She gave me a sweet smile and kissed my cheek, telling me to go help her husband while they got the sides ready.
I grabbed a couple of Bear Claws and started shredding, while he sliced the brisket. He left the chickens alone, and when her brothers showed up it reminded me of nature documentaries of hyenas savaging a carcass.
Finally sated, everyone took to rockers and chairs on the front porch. Banty led me to the swing, where she could snuggle against me. We talked about everything under the sun, and fishing came up. Suddenly it appeared her brothers, wives, and in the case of one, girlfriend, were going out on ‘our’ boat the next Saturday. Dad and Mom were going out with us the next.
Later, as I took her home, I couldn’t help giving her a little dig. “Our boat?”
“Yes, you silly man, our boat. I need you to get used to the fact that I’ve got my claws in you now, and I ain’t letting go.”
“Do I have any say in this?”
“Yes. You need to learn to say ‘Yes, dear’ pretty often. But if you can’t feel what I feel, take me home. If not, we’ll be sleeping at your old house, my ‘new house’ tonight. Her’s a hint of what I’m offering.”
I don’t know when she lost her bra, but she yanked her blouse open, to show as perky a pair of breasts as I’ever seen. The boobs might have been small, but the nipples looked enormous, sticking out at least an inch. (They really didn’t. It was 3/4th. I measured.) Grabbing one of my hands, she covered her closest with it. I was firmly latched to a nipple as she purred, rubbing my erection through my shorts. It felt hard enough to drive nails with.
Her clothes never made it inside. I had to go out and pick them up the next morning and run them through the dryer to warm up. She might be small, but she was extremely flexible, and tied me up in knots. The beauty of a small woman is you can handle her like a doll, and Banty urged me on.
“That’s it. Use me, take what you want! Don’t you ever ask me for pussy! It belongs to you now, and if you’re not man enough to take it, you don’t deserve it.”
I tested that theory the next morning, waking her with a nipple in my mouth. “Honey, I need a showe…”
“What you need is to stop talking while I fuck you.” I smacked her tiny ass for emphasis.
She locked down on me. “That ain’t never gonna happen. If you’re doing it right I scream like a banshee, and if you don’t like to hear me talk dirty, you need to gag me.”
It was a pretty lengthy session, and she knew words that would make a lumberjack blush, but she was cooing at the end, and when we finished she gave a big sigh before cuddling. “Love you, babe.”
It hit her what she said and she shrieked, running into the bathroom. I was right behind her and she tried to hide in the shower.
“Say it again!”
“I..I didn’t mean…”
I smacked her ass and she squealed, and it wasn’t with pleasure. “Unless you want a red ass, say it again!”
“I…sob..love you. I’m sorry.”
“I ought to beat your ass blue for saying sorry. If it wasn’t so fine and I didn’t like it so much, I’d do that very thing. Now listen to me. You’re going to repeat that to me at least every half hour until I take you home, understand? When I think you mean it, I’ll say it back.”
She was full on crying by then, so I started the shower and bathed her gently as she snuffled, kissing various parts, just to insure cleanliness. Banty had recovered by the time we were done and her grin was back. She put on one of my dress shirts and it went to her knees. I noted there was only one button fastened. Her phone dinged and she grinned. “I love you.”
“Better. Now then, breakfast?”
She giggled and flitted around the kitchen, getting familiar with it as I finished cooking.
She grinned at her plate. “Grits?”
“I’ve acquired the taste. Shut up and eat.”
We were washing up when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!”
She was off like a shot, me right behind her. At least she had buttoned up the shirt. There stood Mom, looking at us quizically before grinning. “Introduce me, honey.”
I didn’t get the chance. Banty grabbed her hand. “Hi, Mom. I’m Alicia, but most called me Banty because of my size. I’m your future daughter-in-law, when your son gets smart enough to ask me.”
Mom’s smile split her face. as she hugged her. “He’s a little slow sometimes honey, but he usually gets to where he needs to go.”
She stopped long enough to kiss my cheek. “Make us a fresh pot of coffee, hon. Alicia and I may be a while. I’m sure you have something pressing you need to do outside for an hour or so, right?”
Shit. Banished from my own house, but every good general knows that when he’s outnumbered and outgunned, his best option is to quit the field, so I put the pot on and went out to wash the boat down.
Mom was walking out the door when I came up from the dock. She was smiling, and she kissed my cheek. Then she gave me a warning. “Don’t screw this up.”
Banty was grinning but before she could speak her phone chimed again. “I love you.”
I picked her up, kissing her cheek. “I love you too, baby. You and Mom set a date yet?”
When she stopped crying she gave me another smirk. “No. We have to get my Mom on board. I’ll be calling her now. We’ll be at your mothers’ house until this evening, so order takeout and we’ll all be over by six.”
Then she was out the door and gone. I went out on the boat, cruising along and thinking about life. Then I decided fate was giving me a golden opportunity at happiness, and I needed to make sure it went well.
The Chinese food arrived just after I got back and they were walking through the door five minutes later. Binoculars. They had reinforcements, Banty’s older sister and Adele. She was the first child and Alicia was the last, so there was eight years between them. She was also about five ten. I grinned at Alicia. “Maybe they should have nicknamed you Runty.”
I’m hoping the palm print on my jaw will fade before I have to go to work.
……………………………………………………..
The word was out by the time I got to work. There was an email from one of the floor managers, thanking me for being so stubborn. Seems like he picked 26 in the pool.
Gladys gave me a big kiss. “Remember to tell everyone I was the one who introduced you. When’s the wedding?”
“I don’t know. Didn’t the girls call you last night for an opinion? I’ll just show up when they tell me to.”
She preened a little. “We’re thinking the last weekend in June. It’ll be a little warm by then, but we can work with it. Here’s your messages.”
Well, I apparently no longer had control of my life. It kind of ate at me, and it didn’t help the way they pushed their agenda. It was two weeks later and I was once again being subjected to yet another round of wedding plans from the Moms, the sister, Adele, Gladys, and a couple more I wasn’t sure I knew. They’d ask my opinion twice and then laughed as they overrode me, and I’d suddenly had enough. I walked to the door.
“Wher are you going? We’re not done yet.”
“First, I don’t know where I’m going, just away from here. And we’re a lot closer to being done than any of you realize. Alicia, where’s your ring? Have I ever once said, ‘Alicia, will you marry me?’ Let’s take the guesswork out, shall we. No you don’t have a ring, and no, I’ve never really asked. You just assumed and took off. Then you all run over me like a penny on a train track and expect me to just nod my head and say ‘yes, ma’am?’ Not gonna happen. Not now. Not ever. You need to think about that for a few days and get back to me. Think hard.”
Their eyes had gotten progressively wider and both mothers and Alicia looked like they were about to faint. I was out the door and gone, cutting ruts through my grass because they had blocked me in. I bet when they tried to call they felt mighty foolish when it rang from the coffee table.
I stayed away four days, calling out from work and taking two vacation days before I went back. It took hitting the ATM three times to pay for a new wardrobe and a couple of motel rooms. I went North, figuring they would never look in that direction. It surprised me whan a state trooper pulled me over on the third day, checking my registration and license.
“Sir, do you know you’ve been reported missing?”
“No, not at all. What am I missing? I’m of legal age, have no attachments, why should it matter to anyone where I am? My company knows because I requested vacation time, but they’re the only ones I have to answer to.”
She kind of stepped back at the irritation in my voice, then she gave me the paperwork back. “Very well, sir. I’ll cancel the missing person bulletin. I don’t know what’s going on in your life and frankly it’s none of the state’s business, but someone was concerned enough to fill out the report. Might be a good idea to call home, but that’s your choice. Drive carefully, and have a good day.”
She was on the radio when I pulled away, so I turned around at the next overpass, going back the way I came.
The look on Gladys’ face was priceless when I came through the office doors Wednesday. “My office, now. Leave your cellphone in your desk drawer, if you want to continue working here, Gladys.”
I watched as she picked it up and slid it into her desk. She looked like she was going to an execution when I had her sit. “A few new rules, Gladys. I like you, you’re excellent at your job and it would be hard to replace you. But if you don’t stay out of my private business, if you keep telling Mom and Alicia my every move, that’s what will happen. Do you understand?”
She looked absloutely miserable but she nodded her head.
“Not good enough. I need you to say it out loud.”
“I promise. What happens in the office stays in the office, and I won’t meddle in your personal life ever again.”
“Thank you Gladys. Now catch me up on what I missed.”
She relaxed as we talked business, and went on to address the small fires that broke out while I was gone. An hour later she buzzed me. “Reggie want’s to see you when you have the time.”
Reggie was the plant manager, and ‘when you have the time’ was code for right now.
He asked how my vacation went, offered me coffee, then seemed unusually nervous.
“Look Al, I don’t want to interfere in…”
“Which one got to you? Mom? Alicia? Gladys?”
“None of them. Hiram dropped me a line about how upset….”
He stopped, surprised, when I stood up. “You know Reggie, I like you, and I like it here. This was a dream job for me. But I made a promise to myself that if my personal and professional life ever became entangled, I’d walk away from both. Two weeks be enough notice? If not, I can give you a month, but that’s it. I’ll send you and HR an email just as soon as I get back to my desk. Goodbye, Reggie.”
His eyes were wide and he was stuttering as I walked out. He called me as soon as I got back to my office, and I put him on speaker as I went through my files, boxing anything personal.
He went from pleading to demanding and I laughed. “What have you got to threaten me with, Reg? My job? That ship sailed thirty minutes ago. Push me and I go to corporate, and ask them when an employees’ personal life became of interest to a Vice President. How do you think that would fly?”
He hung up on me.
Gladys was crying when I walked out at the end of the day. Then she started apologizing. “You can stop, Gladys. I know you meant me no harm, and I’m not holding anything you did against you because I think you really thought you had my best interests at heart, but take a lesson from this. No matter who it is, think hard before you interefere in their lives. See you tomorrow.”
I knew Mom would be watching for me, but it was two hours before she worked up the nerve to come over. She seemed as tentative as I’d ever seen her, her forceful character muted for once.
“Hi. Mom,” I said as I opened the door and kissed her on the cheek. “Want some coffee?”
The tears started falling before it was finished brewing. “Did we screw everything up?”
“Not quite, but you did a bang up job of a start. Did you really think I’d be bulldozed along?”
“I keep forgetting you’re just like your father. Quite, accomodating, until something goes against your beliefs. It never occurred to any of us you might react like you did. Poor Alicia is devastated. She hasn’t worked all week because all she can do is cry. Do you still love her?”
“Yes, but it seems she loved her ego a bit more than me.”
“Don’t say that! That girl loves you heart and soul. Right now, if you’d tell her you wanted her to wear a burlap sack and cover her face with mud at the altar, she’d do it, if it meant getting married.”
“Interesting imagery. Let me think about it for a minute. Nope, doesn’t appeal to me. Got anything else?”
“Just this.”
The slap had my ears ringing and my eyes blurred. “If she leaves you, you deserve it. Act with your heart for a change, and not your logic. Yes, we all got carried away, but I think you gave us a reality check none of us will ever forget. I love you, son, but right this minute I don’t like you very much.”