The Girl with The Pink Bat

An adult stories – The Girl with The Pink Bat by DB86,DB86 Edited by kenjisato. A huge thank you as usual.

Proofreading and suggestions by OldDave51

She was the ultimate hardass. He was wounded and scared to love again.

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Hi, welcome back to Middletown!

If you want to check some background about the MC, she made her first appearance at “Wheels of Love”. However, you can read this story as it is, and hopefully enjoy it.

CHAPTER 1

My phone pinged and I took a quick look at the screen. It was a message from my best friend in high school, Ray Clarke. He and his family had moved out of Middletown as soon as he graduated from high school. We sent each other yearly birthday and Christmas cards and texted from time to time, but we weren’t in close contact after he left.

What would he want?

I was tempted to type something back, but texting on a date might be considered rude, even when my date was boring me to death and I was dying to go home.

I placed my phone back on the table, and did my best to focus on the guy in front of me. Not an easy task.

I had met this guy at the mall. He was obviously a tourist. I was bored, so I let him start making conversation. I learned that he was an architect and he was thinking about moving to a small town.

“How is it living in Middletown?” he asked me.

“Small towns are not for everyone. Most residents have lived here since they were born, and they’re very, um… set in their ways, protective, and routine-oriented,” I explained.

The guy just looked at me.

“Middletown is a quaint old place. It has kind of a weathered feel…” My voice trailed off. “We are surrounded by all the best Mother Nature has to offer. It’s a very small town, quiet, and peaceful. People ride their bikes around in the summer. On warm nights, they sit out on the front porch and watch the sun begin its nightly symphony of painting the sky in vivid shades of orange, red, and violet. Anyway, this is how it feels living here.”

Then, he had said he would like to ask me out, but he said he was too shy. I thought it was a cute way of asking-slash-not asking me out. I know how some guys feel about that stuff, so I helped him ask me out and we went on a date.

So, here I was. Worst date ever.

He went from cute to having issues in no time. Everything he had said about himself was negative, like “I know I’m not really at your level;” “you’re probably used to dating better-looking guys;” or “my life is not really that interesting.”

“So, you’re a Leo?” he said.

I shrugged, “So I was told.”

“I’m a Libra.”

I had no idea what that said about him or me. Astrology had never been my thing. I did my best to avoid yawning.

“How many siblings do you have?” he insisted.

“Still just the one I told you about.”

I was not trying to be a bitch, but he made it difficult when it was clear he didn’t pay attention to a single thing I said.

Here he was this handsome guy, and all he could do was tell me what a loser he was, while putting away drink after drink and getting more and more depressed.

Needless to say, it was a big turnoff. No one wants to date a conceited ass, but who wants to date a person that thinks so little of himself?

So, I started asking him questions, but he was as interesting as a wet noodle. Which I suppose, to some, could be thrilling, but not to me.

I yawned a few times and said I was tired.

He wanted to walk me home, but I firmly told him I was fine. I ended our date early with a handshake.

It was not easy to find your better half in Middletown. It’s true that in a small town, there is a greater sense of community and the potential for more close-knit relationships, but it also offers a limited supply of dating material.

My name is Kara Grant, by the way. I had lived in Middletown all my life and I have no plans to leave. I’m happy here.

I have a degree in business administration, and I work with the local contractor, Percy Wittmore. I am a multitasking worker, kind of a wild card.

In my line of work, I’m surrounded mostly by men. In my first weeks, some of the single guys flirted with me, or tried to get into my panties, but I put them in their place. Growing up, I loved playing baseball. I used to carry with me a pink baseball bat, and sooner than later, everyone knew I was not afraid of using it. To be honest, I hadn’t had to hit someone since I was eleven. But the stories of how I hit a bully in the stomach with it stuck around.

Once my friends and co-workers understood I was not one to mess with, we got along well. I like to hang with them and go for a few beers after work. After that, I was regarded as ‘one of the guys’, whatever that meant.

I am outspoken and opinionated; don’t like to wear makeup or stereotypically feminine attire (which is generally not appropriate for construction sites). Some people say that I’m a tomboy, but I can get really girly if the right guy comes along. I love to shop. I love to eat, too.

My parents and my older sister Jenny live in Middletown too. She was involved in a horrible car crash on prom night. The driver was drunk, hit a curve too fast, and crashed against a tree. Jenny woke up in the hospital bed unable to feel her legs. The doctors said that she was going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Knowing my sister was never going to walk again was hard for everyone in my family. When Jenny finally left the hospital, she looked drawn and gray, as if the accident had sucked out half her soul.

My parents are wonderful people, but they are extremely overprotective. That was the last thing my sister needed.

I had to be strong for Jenny. I couldn’t allow myself to become broken. Being my sister’s rock as she went through the most terrifying rollercoaster of her life, took everything out of me.

My best friend Ray was there for me the whole time. He was the one I could always count on for anything. He was the only one I let my guard down with. When I became anxious, Ray would give calm reassurance that things were going to be okay. He was the one that kept me from falling apart. He let me cry on his shoulder when I couldn’t hold the tears anymore.

Ray never asked for anything in return.

One day, I realized I was in love with him. Ray was a man, who genuinely liked me for something, other than getting in my panties. And it made me feel terrifyingly good to be around him.

I never had any reason to believe Ray felt the same way. He never pushed me to be more than friends. So I let things be the way they were.

I never got to confess my feelings to him. I wouldn’t have been able to pursue a relationship with him anyway. I was too busy taking care of my sister.

As soon as we finished high school, his family left Middletown for good. His father had gotten a job with a big company. Sadly, many residents leave our town in search of better employment opportunities.

I knew losing my best friend would be hard, but I didn’t realize just how difficult it would be.

I focused on helping my sister and did my best to forget Ray.

I did some crazy stuff, dated some guys in college, but nothing serious, because I couldn’t get Ray out of my mind.

CHAPTER 2

On the way back home, I finally got to read the text from Ray. It was a simple, “Hey, Kara, may I call you?”

I called him back immediately.

“Hi, Ray! It has been years since I heard your voice. I thought you had forgotten me. To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” I greeted him.

“Hey, Supergirl, since when did you become so formal?” he asked.

Ray always thought my parents were nerds, who had named me after Supergirl’s Kryptonian name, Kara Zor-El. The truth was, my parents, had named me Cara, an Italian name that means ‘beloved’. When I was a teen, I started spelling it with a ‘K’ to make it more interesting.

“I’m a big girl now, Ray. I became a responsible member of our community.”

“It’s about time.” He was trying to joke, but his voice sounded low and husky.

“How are your parents?”

I heard Ray sigh on the other side of the line.

“They are good. They decided to go on a hundred-days cruise for their anniversary. So, I’m thinking about going back to Middletown and spending time with you and your family. It’s been ages since we had a proper talk.”

“That would be great. You know you’re always welcome.” I was surprised by the news, but happy.

“Can you get me someplace cheap to rent?”

“You won’t be able to find a place to rent. Everything is booked in advance. It’s tourist season. How long are you planning to stay?”

“Not sure. Two months or so. Probably more.”

I frowned at his words. “You don’t have to work or something?” I tried to make my voice sound light.

There was a long pause on the other side of the line.

“It’s complicated, Kara. I prefer to explain things to you in person.” Ray’s voice was now very serious.

“Okay. Listen, you can stay at my place if you don’t mind the gossip. You know a guy and a girl living together under the same roof. People will talk.”

“You’re not living with your sister anymore?” he asked.

“Nope. Jenny got married and I moved out to my own place to give the happy couple some privacy. The wedding was a small event, otherwise, they would have invited you.”

“That’s great news! I’m happy for Jenny. She deserves all the happiness in the world. Don’t worry about the invitation, I understand. I’ll make sure to bring a present for them.”

“Liam, that’s her husband’s name, is a great guy. He makes Jenny happy. After all my sister went through, I’m happy she found someone who loves her, as she deserves to be loved.”

“I couldn’t agree more. What about you, Kara? Are you dating someone?”

I heaved out a breath. “Nope. Still single. I have no desire to get married yet.”

“Unless it’s you, you clueless fool.”

“Even if it got your mother off your back?”

I laughed out loud. Ray knew my mother too well.

“The idea has merit, but I’m looking for Mr. Perfect and I won’t settle down for Mr. Good Enough.”

“Fair enough. Maybe I could stay with your parents. For what you told me they have two empty rooms.”

“No way! You’ll be the one having my mother on your back then. I refuse to submit you to such a fate.” My laughter cracked in the empty streets. “You’ll stay with me at my place. End of discussion.”

“The last thing I want to do is ruin your reputation, Kara,” he insisted.

When in doubt, I always asked myself, ‘what would my mother do?’ and then I’d do the opposite. The system had worked well for me in the past.

“You know me; I don’t care about what people might say.”

“I do know you.”

“Okay, it’s settled then. Text me when with the flight info and I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

“I’ll do. It was great talking with you again, Kara. I missed you. Don’t worry, your virtue will be safe with me.”

“I’m not worried, but I’ll keep my pink bat close, just in case,” I joked.

Ray laughed, a hollow sound. Or so it seemed to me.

“Do you still carry that thing around?”

“Yep. A girl needs protection in times like these.”

He laughed again. A genuine laugh this time.

“True that. Well, take care, Kara. See you soon.”

“You too, Ray. Looking forward to it.”

As soon as I opened the door of my place, I knew something was wrong. My mother was waiting for me in the living room.

Why on Earth did I give my mother a spare key?

I went straight to the fridge, got a Dr. Pepper soda, and tipped it to my lips, taking a long sip to disguise the urge to laugh at the serious expression of my mom. It wasn’t that I’d never seen my mother looking disgruntled before. God knows I had.

Then, I settled down on my couch, sitting across from her. “What is this, Mom? It’s a bit early for your monthly intervention.”

“No, it’s not an intervention,” Mom said, picking an invisible lint from her dress. “But if you keep putting off the conversation about settling down, I might have to stage one.”

Once a month, my mother felt the need to remind me that I was still single and I wasn’t giving her any grandchildren.

“If you want grandchildren you’re barking up the wrong tree, Mom. You should be bugging Jenny, not me. She’s the married one.”

I smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood.

“I do want grandchildren,” my mother agreed, “but what I want even more is to see you sharing your life with the person you love; I want to see your life being enriched and made complete by the same kind of love your father and I share. I want for you what every mother wants for her child,” she told me fiercely, her eyes darkening with maternal protection and love. “I want you to be happy.”

I wedged the can between my thighs. “I’m happy, Mom. I already told you that. I have a great job, very special friends, and I live in the most beautiful town surrounded by nature. I don’t need a man to be happy.”

“I know you don’t need a man to be happy, but it sure is nice if one’s around.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, maybe if some wonderful guy drops in from another planet, I’ll ask him if he wants to be my life mate.”

My mother shook her head. “You never take anything seriously. Can’t you just have a serious conversation with me? Do you always have to make a joke out of everything?”

“You’re serious enough for the both of us, Mom.”

“I could ask your brother-in-law to bring a friend for you. So you won’t be dateless for the Apple Harvesting Festival.”

“Pass.”

“Oh God, you’re so infuriating, Kara. Why?”

“Because I refuse to be fixed up again. Remember what happened the last time.”

My mother grimaced.

“You and that darn baseball bat… That poor man was so scared—”

“He grabbed my butt,” I interrupted, and kept talking before my mother started a rant about my blind-date bad manners. “So I pointed at his balls with the bat and told him to back off. I wasn’t going to hit him. Besides, I won’t be alone. Ray is coming to Middletown to spend some time with us.”

My words closed her mouth.

“Oh! That’s wonderful news,” her eyes were now sparkling with the happy news. “Is he single?”

I rolled my eyes again. “I’m not sure. He was dating a girl. They were serious. He is coming alone.”

I could see the gears working in my mother’s mind. “Maybe they broke up.”

I took a sip, and shrugged. That would explain why he sounded so sad.

“Are Ray’s parents coming, too?”

“No. They are on a cruise. He’s on his own.”

Then, she asked, “Where is Ray going to stay?”

“I offered him to stay here with me,” I said, very slowly, pointing each word with emphasis. And waited for what was going to come.

“What? Kara, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Mom barked. The tips of her ears were red. “It’s bad enough that you work surrounded by men and now this! Do you have any idea what people are going to think of you?”

I shrugged. “I have a pretty good idea. People in Middletown always talk. They always think things, and have an opinion. So if this is inevitable, why would I let this be the reason I’m not doing the right thing? Ray is not the Big Bad Wolf and I’m not Little Red Riding Hood. He is my best friend. He is staying here. With me. It’s already decided.”

“You must really hate me.”

I decided to cut to the quick. “Not everything is about you, Mother.”

“Don’t say ‘mother’ that way.”

“What way?”

“Like it should be censored for television.”

I took a deep breath, and decided to get our conversation back on track.

“Look, I hate having to say this to you. Feels like overkill but… I’m and adult, my sex life is my own business,” I said, looking straight into her eyes. “I’m not saying I’m going to sleep with Ray, but if I would, it would be MY business, and no one else’s.”

My mother wasn’t amused.

When the silence extended without Mom saying anything, I sighed.

“It was a joke. Mainly. Nothing is going to happen with Ray, Mom. He is my best friend. Just a friend.”

That seemed to appease her.

“I always thought you two were an item in high school.”

“You were not the only one, but there wasn’t anything romantic going on between us.”

After a moment of silence, my mother capitulated. “All right, I still don’t like it, but you’re right, you’re a grown-up girl now. This is the last time I’ll bring it up.”

“Are you sure? I can pencil you in for next week—”

“Don’t be a smarty pants, Kara. It doesn’t suit you,” Mom grunted and took her leave.

As soon as the door closed behind her, I heaved a sigh of relief.

“Well. Thank God this is over,” I said to myself.

I turned and looked at the guest room’s door.

Ray’d be staying there. With me.

The idea that Ray was going to sleep there got me excited in a way that I hadn’t been in ages.

Muffling a sigh, I went to my room, took off my shoes, lay down on my bed, and closed my eyes, wishing Ray were already here.

CHAPTER 3

Three days after our talk, Ray texted me with the details of his arrival.

I walked into the airport and scanned the baggage claim area to see if Ray had arrived yet. Several people stood watching luggage tumble onto the conveyor.

I looked across the sea of people trying to keep my mind off the fact that Ray’d be spending the next months with me. Then, I spotted him. He still looked the same. His hair was pinned up with a few loose curls hanging down. He was wearing a navy T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans with tennis shoes.

Maybe it was me, but he had a dark cloud hanging over him. There were shadows under his eyes and his skin was a bit pale.

I waved a hand in the air until I caught his attention.

“Ray! Over here!”

Something strange crossed his face, and I couldn’t read what it was. He crossed the airport to greet me. The closer he got, the harder my stomach twisted.

“Hey there, Supergirl,” Ray said, with a smile. But the smile didn’t bring any light to his eyes. He was carrying a black bag onto his shoulder. I reached to take it from him out of habit, but he gently pulled away.

“Thanks, it’s okay. I’ve got it.”

We walked toward the exit. “How was your flight?”

“It was good. I was tired, so I slept for most of the flight.”

“How has the weather been in Boston?”

“It has been pretty cold. It really seems much colder here than I anticipated.” There was something about Ray that just seemed… absent.

I definitely had to talk with my friend and ask him what was going on.

“My car is parked not far away,” I said, taking his arm.

Ray gave me a nod in acknowledgment and walked with me, his mouth a thin line. We got into the car and drove back to Middletown.

“So, how come you’re coming alone, Ray? Last time we talked you were in a very steady relationship with a rich chick… Annie?”

“Amy. I even bought her a diamond ring and she said yes,” Ray said, in a very sad voice.

“What went wrong?”

Ray swallowed and took his time preparing his next words.

“Amy clearly didn’t care about the commitment. I found out she had been cheating on me for the entire duration of our relationship with some of my co-workers and others.”

Whoa, no wonder he looked so gloomy. “Even while you were engaged?”

“Yep.”

“How did you find out?”

“Whenever we were together, Amy was constantly getting texts. When I asked her who was texting her, she didn’t tell me. I knew in my gut something was up. One day, my phone pinged with a text. So I picked it up. I honestly thought it was mine, we had the same phone.”

Ray closed his eyes and slumped back against his seat. His face was a mask of pain.

“It was a photo of Amy deepthroating a guy. At first, I was stunned; I just stood there and looked at the photo, unable to react. Then, the anger started to build and I began checking her gallery and messages.” Ray paused, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath trying to calm down. “It was worse than I expected. She had been sleeping around throughout our relationship. It wasn’t just a guy, but lots of them. Most of them from her father’s company. My workplace. It was like being hit by a truck. One moment I was well and happy, and the next I felt like dying.”

Tears started to fall from his eyes. I squeezed his hand and gave Ray a sympathetic smile.

“You don’t have to talk about this, Ray. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s okay, Kara. Now that I’ve started, it actually feels good to be talking about this. I’d been bottling it up for too long.”

“Okay. So what did you do about her cheating?”

“I confronted Amy about it and she didn’t deny it. She actually got angry with me for invading her privacy. She didn’t apologize or make excuses, either. She was under some kind of narcissistic delusion that what she was doing was none of my business. That was the first time I saw her for what she truly was: a self-centered, spoiled brat. I guess those who said love is blind were right, huh?”

My eyes widened, “Ouch! That bitch! If she were here I’d rip her new one.”

Ray’s lips curved into a small smile. “I wouldn’t expect less from the girl with the pink bat.”

“Listen, Ray, you were not stupid. We are always blind to the ones we love and trust. She took advantage of it.”

“I guess,” he said with a shrug.

“What did you do next?”

“I asked her the ring back, told her that our relationship was over. She didn’t believe I was serious. She said that no one walked away from her, and said I’d come back crawling to her. Talking about delusional, huh?”

“Oh, wow. She sounds like one crazy bitch.”

“Yep, pretty much. She was still yelling when I packed my things and moved out of her apartment. I went to a hotel, and stopped by a local clinic to get tested for STDs. I was relieved to learn that miraculously, I was clean. The next day, I talked with her father and told him everything. I even gave him the names of the men I recognized in the pictures.”

“Did her father believe you?”

“At first, he was in denial, but when I started giving him details of what I saw and read in Amy’s phone, he reluctantly admitted he had heard rumors, but had turned a blind eye to his daughter’s behavior.”

Ray let out a long painful sigh.

“It can’t be easy to discover that your daughter is a slut,” I said.

“Nope. He was a good man, but he had spoiled Amy rotten. Of course, I had no option but to quit my job. I’m sure I was the laughing stock amongst the staff.” Ray’s face was a grimace of pain. “Three years of my life down the drain. I was dating a nymphomaniac and I didn’t know it.”

“You lost your fiancée, your future, and your job at the same time. I’m so sorry this happened to you, Ray,” I said, sympathetically. “You deserve better than her. Looking at it on the bright side, it was a good thing you discovered she was a slut before getting married.”

“I guess you’re right.”

I momentarily took one hand off the steering wheel to squeeze his arm.

“So, that’s my sorry story, Kara. Thanks for listening,” he finally said. His voice sounded void of life.

“Hey, you were there for me any time I needed you. That’s what friends are for.”

“That’s true. You were always a true friend to me.”

“And you to me, Ray. When did it happen?”

“Three months ago.”

“Ray! You should have called me!” I said, a hint of reproach in my tone.

He shrugged.”I wasn’t in the mood to talk with anyone, Kara. I took a break from all my social media accounts and I changed my phone number and email. I felt like an idiot from getting cheated on. Not only did I feel emasculated and less manly, but I also felt like the stupidest person in the world that I hadn’t noticed what she was doing behind my back.”

Ray buried his face in his hands.

“How many times did I kiss her mouth after she came to our apartment from sucking someone’s cock? How many times did I get sloppy seconds?” These last words had a bitter tone.

There was silence in the car, except for the sound of Ray’s rapid breathing, his face red.

“Sorry, you went through that,” I finally said, squeezing his arm. “It’s a shitty situation, but it wasn’t your fault. It was hers. You did nothing wrong.”

Ray glanced over, and I wondered how anyone could look so miserable.

“How come your parents are on a cruise and not with you?”

Ray gave a slight shake of the head. “Well… They know Amy and I broke up, and I had to quit my job, but I saved them from the gory details. I think I told you they are celebrating their anniversary.”

“Yes, you told me.”

“I didn’t want to ruin things for them.”

I thought Ray should have told his parents the whole truth, but he was like this: always putting others first.

“So, what have you been doing?”

“I was emotionally drained. I couldn’t sleep. I had nightmares almost every night. I had lost my hunger. So I talked with a psychiatrist. He said I was extremely depressed and gave me some pills to alleviate the problem.”

“Did he help you?”

“A little bit. At least, he pulled me out of depression. I was tired of feeling down. We talked a lot about why Amy was like that. He explained to me that she seemed to suffer from a narcissist disorder. That’s how he called it. Overprotective and overindulging parenting could contribute to that. People like Amy don’t feel loss when you end the relationship, only anger that you dared to object to being mistreated.”

“In other words, she was a psycho bitch.”

“Pretty much.”

“I’m sorry she hurt you, Ray. You didn’t deserve any of what she did. You’re better off without her.”

He sucked in a harsh breath.

“I’ve been doing temporary jobs, but I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.”

I smiled at him. “I’m still struggling with the same question. Growing up is a bitch.”

“How do you handle it?”

“I just live, Ray. I go through it a day at a time.”

Ray gave a short nod. “I’m sorry, Kara. I’ve been doing much of the talking and not enough listening. You’re the first person I had told about all this, besides the psychiatrist, of course.”

“I’m happy you did. You needed to get this off your chest. Do you feel a bit better?”

“Yes, a little bit. Oh, we are already in Middletown! I truly missed being here. So many good memories.”

I slowed down and parked the car in front of my place.

“Home sweet home,” I said.

Ray got his bag from the trunk and we walked together to the front door.

I was painfully aware of my nosy neighbors watching me escort Ray toward my place.

“Thanks for letting me stay at your place, Kara,” Ray said, smiling down at me.

“No problem. You were there for me when I needed you most, Ray. You were my comfort and my rock when Jenny had the accident. You comforted me when we knew she was never going to walk again. When I was scared, you made me feel safe. When I was alone, you kept me company. You offered me advice and squeezed my hand through pain and sorrow. I lost count of all the times you stayed with me when I was at the bottom of the heap. I’ll never forget that.”

“I’m good at being supportive. You know? Giving advice and doling out helpful suggestions. When it comes to my own stuff, though… not so much.” Ray gave a dazed chuckle.

Ray was one of a kind. He was baring his soul to me. Telling me about his insecurities. Not trying to play the macho man. He opened up to me in a way that no one else ever had. He wasn’t afraid to show me the deep scars of his experience with his slutty ex. I felt nothing but admiration for him.

I hugged him tightly, and said, “Thank you for trusting in me, Ray. It means the world to me.”

He hugged me back briefly, and then I let him go.

“So… This is home,” I said, opening my place’s door, and tipping my head to indicate Ray could enter.

The first man I’d ever brought to my house.

Ray set down his bag by the kitchen table. I searched his face for some indication of how he felt about the small house.

“I know this will sound strange,” Ray said, smiling hesitantly, “but do you have any ice cream?”

I smiled at him. “Always.”

“Chocolate and vanilla?”

“You know it. I picked it out at the market yesterday. Best of both worlds, right?”

Ray and I used to eat a whole bowl of ice cream when I was feeling down.

I moved to the freezer and took out a pot of ice cream. I took two spoons out of the drawer and stabbed them into the top.

Over the next hour or so, we got caught up. It felt like the old times.

“You’ve got that look on your face again, Ray, so, spit it out, what is it?” I asked, pointing at him with my spoon.

Ray gave the briefest of head shakes. “It’s nothing, Kara. I’ve already dumped a lot on you.”

“It’s me, Ray. Talk.”

I ate a spoonful, inviting him to keep talking with my spoon.

“I’m stagnating and feel my life is going nowhere.”

“Understandable after what you went through with your horrible bitch of an ex.”

“I’m lost, Kara. Completely lost. I had a job, people I called friend, a fiancée, and I was building a future. Amy just… nuked everything around me. I need reevaluate my life choices and goals. I’ve been living day by day. Going round in circles. I have no idea what to do with my life. That’s the reason why I came to Middletown,” he said. “It was the last place where I was happy. Truly happy.”

I gave Ray an encouraging smile.

“You’ll welcome to stay as long as you need,” I said, clearing the rust from my voice, and squeezing his hand. “You’re such a great guy, and you deserve to know what it means to have a happy, lasting relationship. I’m not just saying this because you’re my friend. I think you’re a great catch.”

Ray couldn’t help but blush

“The right woman is just waiting for you to find her.”

His lips spread into a shy smile. “Thanks, I needed to hear that,” he said, digging back into the ice cream.

It was obvious that Ray wasn’t swimming in self-esteem. He needed a boost to his ego.

It bothered me more than I could describe to watch Ray’s feelings bleed out. The fact that I cared about him was even more disheartening.

CHAPTER 4

I showed Ray the guest room and told him to make himself at home.

“Take whatever time you need to freshen up and get settled. There are towels in the closet. I’ll be doing some work in the living room. Don’t hesitate to holler if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Kara. For everything.”

I dug my hand into my pocket and withdrew a key. “Here’s a key to the place.”

He smiled at me. “I’m officially your guest.”

I went back to the living room and worked on a budget for a home-renovation project.

When I finished, I thought Ray had had enough time to freshen up and unpack his clothes.

I knocked on his door. “Ray, I thought about having dinner at the local restaurant. Why don’t you come along? Keep me company.”

He shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

He looked pretty thin. He’d always been a slim man, but now he looked… hollow. He was definitely leaner than when I’d last seen him.

I wondered when was the last time he had a proper meal.

“When you taste Tony’s pasta, you will get hungry,” I assured him jokingly. “He is the best chef in the state and he became one of my best friends after you left town.”

I hooked my arm through his and started walking us toward the front door.

He could’ve been rude and pull away. But, he followed.

“Don’t matter none if you’re not hungry,” I said. “You just sit there. I’ll eat enough for the both of us. I hate eating by myself.” I grinned at him. “I won’t even make you talk if you don’t want to. I’ve been known to carry on a whole conversation by myself. So you don’t have to worry about a thing. Just having you around will do me well enough.”

“It’s been a long day,” Ray said, as I stopped to open the door. A last attempt for escape. “I’d like some rest.” He unhooked her arm from mine.

I knew it was an excuse. I wouldn’t let him wallow in his misery.

I grinned up at him, my eyes hopeful and encouraging. “You can sleep the whole day tomorrow if you like,” I told him. Then I gave him a serious, probing look. “Just don’t make me eat alone, Ray.”

I was sure he knew exactly what it was like to eat alone every night.

“Okay,” he relented. “Let me get a jacket.”

The night was cloudy, the wind was soft. We walked side by side in the cold evening. I was close enough to him to smell his scent. A wave of memories assailed me as my nostrils filled with his scent. He smelled exactly as I remembered. It was so startling; I didn’t even register when he hooked his arm with mine again.

As the nostalgia hit, I remembered distinctly what it’d been like to go through high school together. I recalled the sharp feeling of excitement I had experienced when I realized I was in love with him. How I’d lay awake at night, hugging my pillow, imagining it was Ray.

Every once in a while, I glanced over at Ray only to be met with his eyes focusing ahead.

We carried on walking in the deafening silence.

“There’s the restaurant,” I said, pointing across the square.

“Oh, good,” Ray said, following me as I made my way toward a crosswalk. “The Jammed,” he said, reading the big sign in the front of the restaurant, “I can relate to the name.”

“It’s owned by Red Harding and Tony Marino, the chef I told you before. The restaurant brought new life to our town.”

“Red Harding? I remember him from high school. He was a farm boy, he and Kat were inseparable.”

“They are married now,” I said.

“Oh, I’m happy for them.”

Ray moved aside to let me precede him. It felt funny, being the recipient of his chivalry. He’d opened the front door for me already, and then he was letting the lady go first. It was disconcerting and boldly reminded me how male he was.

The hostess smiled at our approach.

“Good evening, Kara. Is it the two of you tonight?” she asked, already grabbing a pair of menus.

“Yes, Kat. Thank you. Remember Ray Clarke?”

Her forehead folded in a frown. And then, her eyes shone with recognition.

“Of course, welcome back to Middletown, Ray. You two were joined at the hip back then. I hope you enjoy your stay in our town.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m sure I will.”

When we were seated near the dance floor, I plopped down in my seat before Ray could do something crazy, like hold out my chair for me.

I watched some couples dancing. I could imagine myself in his arms, pressed against him. Ray was also watching the dancers with a pained expression on his face. Suddenly, he shivered and glanced away. I couldn’t help but wonder if his thoughts veered toward his cheating ex.

I was half tempted to stand, shouting for the music to stop, so he wouldn’t be assaulted with any bittersweet memories. Just then, the waitress appeared at my side. “Ready to order?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “I like medium-rare steak, a bottle of red wine, and a heaping pile of onion rings.”

Ray looked at me in surprise.

“What? I have a healthy appetite. Did you expect me to order a salad?”

After I put in my order, the waitress glanced toward Ray. He shook his head.

“You want something to drink, Ray? I’ll pay since I dragged you out here,” I said.

He glanced at the waitress.

“I’ll take a glass of water.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’ll drink wine, too.”

He didn’t say anything to contradict me, so the waitress moved away with a nod.

The waitress brought our wine and poured two glasses. I drank half of mine in one great swallow.

Ray surprised me when he said, “I’d like to try the pasta.”

“You won’t regret it,” I said. The waitress wrote down Ray’s order and left.

He silently reached out to catch a trail of condensation dripping off the side of his bottle. How he could make the move look as sensual as it did, I’d never know. But, Gosh, I wanted to experience the feel of those long fingers trailing down my skin that way.

I shook my head. What was wrong with me? My friend had lost his fiancée and his job. There had to be a gaping hole right smack through the middle of him. I was pretty sure sex was the last thing on his mind.

I found myself watching his gaze move around the room, studying the different tables and different people. I could see his mind work, but couldn’t even guess what thoughts emerged from his detailed inspection. I found myself resting my chin on my hand and my elbow on the table to watch him scrutinize his surroundings.

He was in dire need of a haircut, but I liked the shaggy look he had going. He was incredibly gorgeous… in a sad, depressed sort of way.

Our food came and I tucked into my meal, cutting the beef into bite-sized pieces and drinking a new glass of wine to wash it down.

I left Ray alone. He looked like he wanted solitude. I was already torturing him enough by hauling him out with me.

However, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. He quietly poured himself a new glass of wine, chugging down three big sips.

I pointed my steak knife at his plate and, with my cheek full of meat, asked, “How’s your pasta?”

“You were right. It’s the best pasta I’ve ever tasted.”

I winked at him, and said, “Told you.”

We’d downed the entire bottle of wine by the time we swallowed our last bite. Feeling relaxed and loose around the tongue, I grinned at Ray and sat back in my seat, patting my flat belly.

“Let me ask you something, Ray. If it’s too personal, just tell me to shove off. Okay?”

Ray looked at me warily. “Okay.”

“Have you gone without sex since you broke up with Amy?”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were a mistake.

Ray shook his head. His jaw hardened and his nostrils flared. He jerked his gaze away, and I watched his throat work while he swallowed.

“When you say personal you go straight to the jugular.”

“Oh…my…God,” I whispered, stunned for a moment. “I’m sorry, I’m backing off. I’ve overstepped my bounds.”

“You want to know about my sex life? Well… The thing is… I can’t…” he said in a whisper, looking down, almost to himself.

“You can’t…?” I repeated, in a puzzled hush.

“Since I knew Amy cheated on me,” Ray replied with a red face.

Then, it dawned on me. “Oh, you can’t…?” I lifted my index finger.

Ray made a sound that wasn’t quite an incredulous laugh and not quite a sob. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”

His face was red. He pushed his chair back and stood up.

I swallowed as he glared down at me. I wanted to apologize, but I was too ashamed to even speak. Lowering my face, I listened to him snort out a scathing mutter before he strode off.

“Everything okay?” the waitress asked, appearing at my side.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “He’s not feeling well.”

I rose to my feet and pulled enough money from my wallet to more than cover the bill. Glancing over, I watched Ray stride from the restaurant and gritted my teeth.

Damn it! Me and my big mouth!

CHAPTER 5

Ray had already crossed the town square when I came out of the restaurant.

It had started to rain, and a drizzle coated my face. Pushing my drooping bangs out of my eyes, I dashed after him, streaking across the square and jaywalking to catch him before he made it to his room. When I finally caught up with him I was soaked. The miserable shower had drenched him too, but he marched determinedly along the empty streets.

Never one to bother with propriety, I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, “Ray, Stop!”

He didn’t break stride, pause, or give any indication he’d heard me. I knew he had, mainly because I saw some faces peeking out of the windows of their homes.

I ignored the nosy neighbors and raced after Ray. I hollered, “Wait for me, please!”

I was only able to catch up with him when he stopped at the entrance of my place.

“I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly.

I put the key in the lock and opened the door. Then I looked into his eyes waiting for him to enter.

He continued to stare at the open door, but his jaw worked furiously, tightening and loosening, tightening back into a knot and then loosening again.

“I’m truly sorry,” I repeated. “I didn’t mean to be nosy. I shouldn’t have asked that. I was out of place.”

“I just want to be left alone.”

He walked into my place and I followed him.

“You have no idea the kind of pain I felt. You’ve no idea what it’s like to lay in your bed night after night wondering how I could be so stupid.”

I gulped and took a step towards him. “You’re right, I don’t. I want to help you, Ray.”

“I can’t stop thinking about all the men she was with… All the things she did with them,” Ray dropped his gaze. “I feel so humiliated… Men I called friends had been fucking her and laughing at me behind my back. How could Amy do that to me? How could she rip the heart out of my chest and not care? She made a fool out of me! I truly thought she loved me, almost as much as I loved her! I was a blind idiot!”

There was agony on Ray’s face. Drops of water were falling from his hair.

“Ray, no…” My heart ached for my friend whose confidence and emotions had been shredded.

He headed to the guest room. I took off my soaked sweater and followed him.

“I can’t leave you like this. I can’t let you wallow in your misery.”

He whirled toward me so quickly that I jerked an intimidated step back. From between clenched teeth, he hissed, “I’ll live my life however I damn well please.”

When I sucked in a breath, he blinked like he’d just realized I was cowering. Letting out a low growl, he reeled away and raked a shaky hand through his hair.

“Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?” he whispered.

I could tell his control was splintering. I fully believed it’d be healthy for him to lose it. For once in his life, he needed to let out some of the pressure. He needed to alleviate the pain that had been brewing inside him since the moment his fiancée cheated on him.

“It’s probably because you bring it on yourself,” I said, trying a new approach. I was aware it could go wrong, but I had tried it with my sister when she started feeling sorry for herself.

He glanced at me. “Excuse me?”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come off it, Ray. If you really want everyone to stop people feeling so sorry for you and treating you like some kind of wounded animal, then you should stop acting like one.”

Shock filtered across his cheekbones with a red tinge. His mouth fell open. “What? I do not—”

His gaze landed on my wet shirt clinging to my breasts, and the words died in his throat.

I looked down and realized I wasn’t wearing a bra.

Looking taken aback by the fact I was nipping, he gaped at me with slack-jawed shock. On pure impulse, I pulled my shoulders back a fraction, pushing my chest forward. For the briefest of moments, his lashes lowered, and he sucked in a quiet breath through his teeth. Then he tore his eyes away, muttering a curse.

I’d just gotten an emotional response from him. Ray had looked at me with sexual awareness. Thinking this might be good for him, I planned my next move.

“I do not ask for anyone’s sympathy. The last thing in the world I want is for everyone to treat me like some kind of—”

Ignoring his tirade, I rose onto my toes and stamped my mouth against his, moving so fast, that I gave him no time to back off or evade me before our lips were firmly sealed together.

I pressed closer until the front of my soaked shirt clung to his. Then, lifting my hand, I touched the side of his neck.

Ray buried his hands deep in my hair and he took control of the situation. His mouth moved against mine, bruising and savage. When I opened for him, he plunged his tongue deep, letting out an agonized, hungry sound.

He grew hard against my stomach. I whimpered, envisioning the heated length of him buried deep inside me.

“Ray,” I moaned. But his breathless name on my lips must’ve alerted him to reality because he yanked away.

We were both panting.

He couldn’t meet my gaze. So I said, “Your thingy felt just fine a moment ago.”

He didn’t answer.

“You’re still alive, Ray. You have to accept that.”

His ragged breathing intensified, and his eyes dilated as they focused on my pouting nipples pushing against wet cloth.

The insides of my thighs grew damp and heavy between my legs.

Stepping toward him, I gently slid my hand around the back of his neck. He was taller than me and certainly stronger. If he wanted to escape, he could.

But he merely watched me warily as I drew his head down.

He closed his eyes and lowered his face to receive me. I eased my lips back to his.

This kiss was soft and loving. Thinking my point was proven, I moved back, giving him mercy. But his lips followed mine. My skin buzzed with awareness, and an almost painful tightening began in the bottom of my stomach. He cupped my face and drew me back, opening his mouth and demanding more.

I groaned and sank against him, deepening the contact. Feeling primal, I pushed my tongue into his mouth.

Ray pulled me closer and devoured me. His hands cupped my breasts and I shivered.

“Damn you, Kara,” he managed to hiss against my mouth, only to use his tongue to invade and his hips to grind hard against mines.

He freed one nipple and rolled it between his thumb and index finger, making me moan.

Ray undid the top button of my damp jeans. I kicked off my boots and reached for his belt buckle.

I barely unzipped his trousers in the time it took him to shed my jeans and underwear in one mighty tug.

I dove my hands into the waistband of his underwear and cupped his ass before slipping them and his jeans down. As soon as they dropped to free his hard penis, he pushed me into bed, spread my knees, and buried himself deep, plunging all the way to my core.

“Oh, yes!” I cried.

We were doing it. Of all the times I’d dreamed of being with Ray, I’d never imagined this scene.

He rode me with deep, confident thrusts, only to pull nearly all the way out before surging back in. I clung to him, clawing his back, and fought to keep from coming too soon.

He didn’t slow his pace -not that I wanted him to. He surged back, harder and faster, pushing us both to the brink.

The pace slowed to a drowsy tempo, neither rushing as we learned the contours and curves of our partner.

There was no humping or screwing or any kind of degrading term like that with Ray. Once he was in control of himself, he was all about gentle and soft. It was so damn precious I that mimicked his kindness, touching him tenderly, rubbing my fingers up his arms and over his elbows, investigating places I’d never gone on a man, simple places like his wrists and earlobes, but places that suddenly seemed incredibly sensual.

“This is how it feels to make love,” I thought.

“Can I…?” he started to ask and then hesitated.

“Yes,” I answered with no pause whatsoever.

Yes, he could do anything he wanted to me.

He lifted my leg, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and sunk himself inside me with an achingly slow plunge that had me gasping and bowing against him.

Slipping my hands ever-so softly over his back and gracefully lifting my hips to meet his thrusts.

His pace filled me with agonizing frustration. It didn’t take long for me to crave the speed again. But he took his ever-loving time, like he relished discovering each inch of me with his mouth and hands, like each instance he moved within me, he needed to savor the feeling with concentrated deliberation.

I squeezed him tightly with my thighs, digging my heels into his ass and holding him deeper, urging him on and trying to coax him into cooperating and going faster.

“Hurry,” I rasped.

He looked down at me with sweat beading his brow and his lips tight with focus. “I want it slow,” was his steady command.

I was going to go insane if he didn’t hurry. “I can’t.”

“You will,” he said, and, damn it, I did.

I came slowly, feeling it methodically work its way up my toes and the insides of my thighs until it hit my G-spot. Then I came, and came, and came… and came.

Ray gasped and tensed. Picking up his pace and pounding into me, he released himself, joining my orgasm.

“Gosh,” Ray growled, and bucked one last time, grabbing me hard as he joined the fireworks. “WOW!”

The silence that followed was deafening. I didn’t think I was ever going to stop shuddering from the aftershocks, not even when he collapsed heavily on top of me, his limp deadweight making me wonder if he’d physically passed out.

We held each other close, like a pair of frightened children huddling in the dark and worrying about the scary monster coming for them.

And, damn, I did feel terrified out of my mind. Reality could be one mean bogeyman.

Well. I’d done it.

I closed my eyes and set a hand over my heart.

What was going to result from my wild, unplanned seduction?

I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me. I had forced him, pushed him beyond his control. I felt terrible.

“Ray?” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”

I put my arms around him and laid my cheek against his chest.

My voice broke. “I’m so sorry.”

Ray didn’t say anything. His chest was rhythmically moving up and down.

I wished I could read his mind.

I hurried to my room, stepped into the shower, turned on the water, and cleaned myself quickly.

Once I’d rinsed myself clean, I hurried out of the tub and slung a towel around my body.

I walked to the guest room and tried the doorknob, but it was locked.

Then, unable to help it, I burst into tears.

I was not Red Riding Hood; I was the Big Bad Wolf. And I might have ruined my friendship with Ray.

CHAPTER 6

The next morning, I woke up early. The memory of what had happened last night was still fresh in my mind.

I couldn’t help but wish that I’d been more sensible the night before, instead of allowing my feelings, and a bit too much alcohol, to get the better of me.

It was a bright, sunny day. I dressed up and went straight to the kitchen. Unexpectedly, Ray was already there.

My hair was up in a ponytail. I was wearing a black tank top with blue jeans. It definitely didn’t scream, ‘Come and get me’, but when I glanced up and saw Ray watching me, I felt as if I was wearing the slinkiest, hottest piece of lingerie on the planet. He wanted me. It was spelled out in his clear blue eyes, as his gaze slowly traveled down my body and meandered its way back up again.

He was staring at me like he wanted me for breakfast.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep it cool, though questions stirred inside me.

Did that hungry look mean he’d forgiven me? Was he mad at me? Could I hope things were okay between us?

When our gazes met, I could see the tired yet wary lines around his eyes and mouth.

“Coffee?” he asked.

I nodded in reply.

“I made eggs, bacon, and toast.”

“Sounds great. Thank you. Are you okay?”

He nodded. “I’m fine. You?” He was trying to act as if nothing happened last night. But I could tell something wasn’t right.

“I’m fine, too,” I lied. I finished my coffee in one gulp. Then, I fished in my purse and got out my car keys.

“I have to go to work. I won’t be back until the evening. Make yourself feel at home.”

“Thank you,” Ray just said.

The best thing I could do for him was leave him alone. I pivoted and strode away, still feeling crappy

We were definitely going to talk later.

+++

It only took me half an hour to show up at the construction site. Middletown was growing and my boss construction company had a lot of work building and renovating properties. I arrived earlier than usual. My job usually involved making budgets, dealing with suppliers, checking materials delivery, paying salaries, going to the local council to get permission to execute the plans, and so on.

Paul Olson pulled his truck alongside my car, his forearm hanging out the opened window. He was the one charged with the responsibility of supervising the crew of workers when Percy was busy with another worksite. He wasn’t around a lot lately, because he expanding his business to other towns.

“Morning, Kara,” Paul said solemnly, as he cut the engine and exited the truck. “I heard you have a guest.”

I rolled my eyes.

“My friend from high school, Ray Clarke, is staying with me,” I said. He probably knew anyway. “He’s going to stay for a few months.”

Paul came closer to me, lowered his voice, “People are talking, you know?”

“I’d be surprised if they didn’t.”

We both laughed at that.

“Just be careful, Kara, okay?”

I sighed. “Look, Paul, Ray is one of my best friends. You must remember him; we were always together in high school. He is not going to try anything with me.”

“It was the other way around,” I thought. I felt a pang of guilt.

“That’s not what I’m worried about. I know you can take care of yourself,” Paul said.

“Then what are you worried about?”

“People talk. Even the guys were making jokes about you and Ray.”

I squinted my eyes.

“Don’t worry. I put them in their places. I don’t want you to be labeled as something you are not.”

Paul was a good man. Fatherly type. He had two daughters, Sabrina and Maggie, the same as my father.

“There’s not much I can do if people start telling tales about me, is there? I learned the hard way that no one can escape the assumptions people make about us.”

Paul nodded slowly. He twisted his mouth, and admitted, “I suppose not.”

“Ray is a great guy, and he’s going through a difficult time. People can say all kinds of things about me. I don’t care because talking never hurt me. I don’t give a damn what the world says about me, but I won’t turn my back on a friend.”

“You’re a great girl, Kara. I hope Ray appreciates what you’re doing for him.”

“He did the same for me a thousand times in the past.”

“Okay. Now, let’s get to work.”

+++

That evening when I came home, Ray had already made dinner.

He acted as if nothing had happened. He was trying the whole evade-and-ignore remedy. So I did the identical thing back to him.

We had dinner and made small talk dancing around the elephant in the room.

Finally, once the dishes were clean, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ray, we need to talk about what happened last night. We can’t go pretending it didn’t happen.”

Ray sighed, “Okay, you’re right. Can I go first?”

“Sure.”

He sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter, and I did the same.

He took a moment to gather his thoughts, looked at me with a pained expression on his face, and said, “Kara, what happened last night was entirely my fault. I’m in a bad place, my ego has taken a beating and you helped me to feel better about myself. You made me realize I was still desirable. Still sexual.”

I looked at him, puzzled.

“The funny thing is,” he confessed, “I didn’t feel guilty. Not during, anyway.”

Ray shook his head and lowered his gaze, ashamed. “The guilt came afterward. I feel bad because you were trying to make me feel better and I acted like a—”

I placed a hand on his forearm. “Ray, I was the one who initiated it. I kissed you.”

“Yes, but then I practically attacked you. I wasn’t thinking at all. And that’s not me. You know that’s not me,” Ray told me apologetically. “As soon as you touched me, my mind just shut down. I lost control of myself like I’d never lost control before. I just… I had to have you.”

He cradled his head in his hands. “I’m sorry. I ruined everything. Please, don’t be mad at me, it won’t happen again.”

“Mad at you? Are you kidding me?” I cried. “Ray, last night was…” I shook my head. “It was mind-blowing.”

I made a gesture with my hands, as if my head had exploded.

Ray smiled slightly, not convinced.

“I could have said no, and I didn’t, Ray. I was a willing participant and I enjoyed it as much as you did.”

He was quiet for a moment. Then he asked me, “Why didn’t you stop me?”

I decided to be honest.

“Because when we were in high school, I was in love with you.”

He raised his head and looked at me in surprise.

“Really? Wow! I never knew anything.”

“My feelings for you grew up slowly and gradually. I don’t think I realized how much I loved you until it was too late. I was ready to confess my love for you when your family left town.”

“I see.” His eyes were now sparkling. “So last night wasn’t a pity fuck?”

“What? No! Trust me, it was a lot of things, but it was NOT a pity fuck. I never wanted anything more in my life. I was planning to have sex with you after the prom, you know? You were going to be my first,” I confessed to him, and I didn’t hold anything back when I said it.

“Yeah right,” Ray snorted, and tried to turn away.

I grabbed his shoulder and made him face me. “It’s true. I meant what I said. I didn’t pity you in bed. We made love because I wanted to. I must say it was the best sex I ever had. I never felt so loved, so connected with someone.”

Ray stared at me, studying my face. “You are serious.”

“Of course, I am, you big doofus! I would never make a joke about something like this. Last night was out of this world.”

Ray shifted his weight and cleared his throat. “So you’re not mad at me, and you’re not planning to smash my head with your bat.”

I laughed, “No, and of course not!”

“Okay, then the question is where do we go from here, Kara?”

“I was thinking the same thing. To be honest, I have no idea,” I said, showing Ray my palms.

Ray cleared his throat and said, “I have been thinking about this all day. So, let me go first: I don’t want you to be a rebound. It’s not fair for you. You are very important to me and deserve better than that. I broke up with Amy just a few months ago. I’m still broken inside and it’s too soon for me to jump into a relationship again.”

He gulped and continued, “I don’t know how to deal with this right now,” he touched his heart. “I’m an emotional mess. I guess what I’m trying to say is part of me wants a relationship with you, but another part of me is afraid of getting hurt again. I am still raw. I think it would be better if we take a step back and start over. Am I making sense?”

I blinked, trying to comprehend everything he’d just said, “You are,” I finally said. “Are sure this is what you want?”

“I do. We are not the same people we were in high school, Kara.”

“If you ask my mother she’ll tell you I never grew up,” I said, with a smile.

Ray gave me a shy smile.

“I like you a lot, Kara, but love scares me, right now. You know how the saying goes ‘Once burned twice shy’. I need to put the pieces of my life back together first. One day, I had a great job and I was engaged to a girl I thought loved me, and the next day, I was single, jobless, alone in my world, and grieving hard. I’ve got to heal my soul and my heart. I hope you understand that.”

I wish that bitch was here so I could smash my bat against her head.

“I do understand, Ray. I’m okay with taking a step back. We’ll go as slow as you want. Just as long as you know that I’m not a woman to toy with your affections. We can get to know each other again.”

“I’d like that, Kara. Just for the record, I don’t regret what happened between us, even when it was a bit crazy.”

“Maybe a little bit,” I admitted. “I have no regrets, either.”

“I feel better than I have felt in a long time, and I have to thank you for that,” Ray said, giving me a shy smile. “However, I need to focus on my own life right now and not let my emotions distract me. I need to put my energy there.”

“Ray, you do whatever is best for you. Don’t worry. I’ll be here for you whenever you need me,” I said, doing my best to hide my disappointment. It seemed like it was never the right time for us.

+++

This was uncharted territory for me. I needed some piece of advice about what to do. So the next day, after work, I went to see my sister Jenny.

She was happy to see me as she always seems to be when I come to visit.

“I need your help, sis,” I blurted out.

Jenny gave me the one-eyebrow raise and then rolled inside.

“Come on in, Kara, what’s wrong? Does it have anything to do with Ray?”

“Yep.”

I sat on the couch and told my sister everything, holding back no details. Jenny was particularly interested in hearing exactly what Ray had said to me and made me recount his words several times until she was finally satisfied.

“You idiot,” my sister finally said. At least she was smiling.

“I know. I went down in flames. I guess I ruined any chance I may have had with Ray, huh?”

“Oh, not by a long shot.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“We’ll get back to that later, but first, let’s talk about what you did wrong.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“Your first mistake was trying to pick up where you left off,” my sister said, using her teacher’s tone.

“What do you mean?”

“Your original plan back then was to confess your feelings and have sex with Ray on prom night. Am I right?”

“You are. Everything changed when Ray told me he and his family were leaving Middletown.”

“So, yesterday, you told Ray that you loved him and had sex with him.”

“Not in that order, but yes. I get what you mean now.”

“You presumed too much.”

“Yeah, I rushed it, didn’t I?”

“You went in like a bull in a china shop.”

“Sounds like me,” I admitted.

“Your second mistake was that you didn’t listen to what Ray told you. He had broken up with his fiancée because she cheated on him and he is in a bad place right now. He is not ready for a new relationship. You can’t just fuck him into sanity.”

I hung my head. Jenny was right. What was I thinking?

“So what do I do now?”

“You do exactly what Ray has asked you to do. You take a step back and give him space. Give him time to collect his thoughts. He must be pretty confused right now.”

“When did you become so wise?” I asked my sister.

“I have watched people a lot since I ended up in a wheelchair. You can learn a lot about human nature, especially when people act as if you weren’t there,” Jenny said, patting her wheelchair. “It’s so much easier to give advice about other people’s problems.”

“So I heard. Thank you, Sis. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Kara. Take good care of your heart and please be patient.”

“I’ll work on that.”

CHAPTER 7

After our talk, Ray and I tiptoed around each other for a few weeks. Very slowly, Ray started moving on with his life. It was a bit tough at first, but he reached out and reconnected with some old friends from high school. Over the next two months, he got a job in Olympia and insisted on helping me out financially, paying some rent and giving me money for food. He also bought a used car to drive back and forth from work.

People in town stopped talking about us and moved on to the next gossip target.

Ray’s social life grew more and more. I started getting messages from him saying that he wouldn’t make it for dinner because he was going out to the bar after work.

We still got together as friends to go out, have dinner, and watch an action movie together. Over the next few weeks and months, we talked everything out. We didn’t just talk about when we were teens, and our college years, but we also talked about politics, the economy, and global warming. We talked about our jobs and our dreams for the future. Of course, we went together to the Apple Harvesting Festival much to my mother’s delight. We were best friends again and that was how it was going to stay. There was no use dragging out my hopes any longer.

My mother came to terms with the fact that Ray was living with me, and started dropping not-so-subtle hints about Ray and me, “He is a keeper, Kara, the kind you shouldn’t let get away.”

I was genuinely happy for all the positive changes in Ray’s life, but I still wanted to be more than “just a friend”. The renewed friendship that I had expected to develop into a steady relationship wasn’t happening.

I was disappointed, but I couldn’t be mad at him because Ray had a mind of his own and I totally understood him. He was doing exactly what he told me he needed: take a step back and reevaluate his life.

++++

One evening, I was at the bar, drinking some beers with the guys after work when I caught sight of Ray through the window striding toward the entrance.

He was with a group of friends from high school. They were joking and laughing.

Ray looked up and saw me as I was watching him. He grinned as his eyes caught mine, and waved at me across the room. I returned Ray’s smile and nodded over to him, but then he and his friends walked over to another table.

I was about to join them when Floyd Leland ruined it all. The brainless moron opened his big mouth and started talking. He immediately started complaining about his old lady.

“Martha and I are having trouble in the bedroom,” he said. The status of their relationship was not clear even to them. “Martha says I am boring in bed. She says I’m not fun and adventuresome. Now, I can be just as adventurous as the next guy,” he whined, sipping his beer.

I rolled my eyes. If Floyd’s form of adventuresome was grunting out, “Hold on to something,” for foreplay then, sure, he was one wild boy.

“Just a few years ago, Kara and I…”

I froze in my seat and felt the blood drain from my head. What the hell? Why was this idiot mentioning my name in the middle of his sexual exploits?

If Floyd made up a story about our non-existent sex adventures, I was going to murder him slowly and painfully.

I made a noise of disgust, but Floyd had drunk one too many beers and kept talking.

“Hey, Kara!” he yelled, to catch everyone else’s attention.

“What?” I snapped and gritted my teeth.

“Do you remember when we went skinny dipping that one night, right?” Floyd slurred.

“What the hell,” I growled.

“Now tell me that wasn’t fun and adventurous, huh?” Floyd added, with a stupid grin.

I could only gape in disbelief. “I’m going to kill you, Floyd,” I sputtered, wishing I had my bat with me.

Dennis Harris was sitting at Floyd’s side. He elbowed him hard in the ribs, and ordered, “Shut the fuck up, Floyd.”

But it was too late.

Ray turned slightly and regarded me with a shuttered gaze. I paused, as our eyes met. I wondered what he was thinking of me.

As shame filled me, I sunk into my seat. In my defense, I have to say, that I had drunk too much that night. It was a few days after Ray’s family left Middletown. I was feeling down and I did some crazy stuff. Things didn’t go further than swimming naked, but Floyd made it sound more sordid than it was.

I stared at Floyd, trying to figure out how to make him shut up without hurting him, but the idiotic man just kept on.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed. You have a killer body,” he grinned at me.

“Martha is going to skin you alive if you go announcing to everyone you went skinny dipping with someone else.”

Floyd blinked in confusion. “But… but that happened way before me and Martha got together. It was years ago.”

How dare he announce to the entire place I’d had a weak moment and gotten kinky with him once? And with Ray present, too. Not that I cared what Ray might think, but damn it, I did care. I didn’t want Ray to think I had such low standards.

“Geez, Floyd,” I snapped and threw my beer in his face. After getting to my feet, I dug into my wallet and tossed down a couple of bills. “Don’t go bragging about someone else and expect Martha to be fine with that. I don’t care if it was five years ago or five days ago.”

Floyd looked worried now. “Y—you really think she’ll be upset?” He stood up and looked at me with an anxious look.

I lifted an eyebrow and growled, “Did you take lessons to be a moron, or does it just come naturally?”

I pushed by him and his chair fell backward from the table where he landed flat on the floor.

CHAPTER 8

I walked around for hours to calm myself down before I decided to go home. I felt so much shame and anger that I could barely face Ray.

When I got to my place, I was surprised to find Ray waiting for me.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, with true concern.

“I’m fine,” I lied, not very successfully since my voice sounded like it had been sanded raw.

I wanted to shut myself in my bedroom before the shame seeped out through my pores and turned visible, but Ray didn’t let me.

“I have to admit, I’m pretty impressed. I’ve always wanted to go skinny dipping and never have. Swimming at the lake at night always scared me,” he said, in a casual tone.

“Uh, really?” I said, raising my eyes to meet his.

He nodded and winked at me. “I think you had better taste than Floyd, but who am I to judge?”

“I did a lot of stupid things when you left town. I was at a low point. It happened and I’m not proud of it. Floyd was always a moron and I was acting as one. We were never an item.”

“Janice Cooper used to pick on Floyd when we were in high school,” Ray remembered. “She used to call him Dum-Dum.”

Janice Cooper was a bully in high school. She played many cruel pranks. That’s how she got the nickname ‘Queen of Mean’. When she returned from college, she took charge of the local newspaper, The Middletown Gazette.

“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t recognize Janice now. She’s a changed woman. She got married and has two boys.”

“Are you serious? We should go to church and start praying.”

I gave Ray a puzzled look. “Why?”

“Janice Cooper a changed woman? Must be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.”

We both laughed hard.

“Are we okay, Ray?”

“Everything is fine, Supergirl,” Ray said. “I made stupid mistakes, too. Yours, at least, didn’t broke your heart in two.”

He opened his arms to me. We hugged, a long, tight, much-needed hug, and as I stepped back, he looked at me, “I’m sorry I wasn’t around much these last months. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hang out with you, it was just that, well, I needed some time to get my life back on track. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” I admitted, resting my head on his chest.

+++

I woke up at seven A.M. with nausea. I rushed to the bathroom. Bent over, I sucked air through my gritted teeth and willed the nausea to pass. It didn’t, only working steadily up my throat and making me think I was going to barf all over the room.

Closing my eyes, I counted to ten until both the dizziness and queasy stomach settled.

When I got out of the bathroom, I went to the kitchen to find something to drink.

Ray had already gone to work.

I poured myself a glass of water and drank it in one long gulp.

“Ahh! Much better, I have to quit drinking for a while,” I said to myself.

As soon as I got to the construction site, Floyd came to me followed by Paul.

He looked at the floor for a while, playing with his fingers until Paul slapped not-so gently the back of his head and ordered him, “Talk.”

“Kara,” he said solemnly. “I’m real sorry about what I said at the bar. I shouldn’t have—”

“Okay,” I interrupted him before he started babbling again. Looking at him straight in the eyes, I said, “I was in a mood and overreacted. It’s no big deal.”

Floyd lifted his face, squinted at me since the sun was in his eyes, and said, “Well, I’m sorry anyhow. I had no call to start that kind of tale about us. True or not. I should have known better.”

“Next time, I’ll punch your mouth shut,” I said. Then, I added, “I’m joking. Mainly.”

Floyd kicked at a pebble on the ground. “Well, I won’t blame you if you do that. You were right. Martha has heard about what I said, and now she thinks I cheated on her.”

I was tempted to say, “That’s what you get for opening your big mouth, you idiot.” Instead, I said, “If you want, I’ll call Martha and try to smooth things out with her. Let her know she has nothing to worry about from me.”

Floyd jerked his face up, his cow eyes hopeful. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Thank you, Kara. Again, I’m sorry,” Floyd grumbled. Paul sent him back to work.

Paul waited until Floyd was far enough so he couldn’t hear us and said, “He is a moron, but he didn’t mean anything bad.” He was about to leave, but turned around and said, “I know it’s not my business, but skinny dipping in the lake at night is dangerous… and doing it with Floyd was just plain stupid.”

The whole idea of being naked with Floyd put a nasty taste in her mouth. In fact, it made me feel sick to my stomach all over again.

Realizing I wasn’t going to hold the puke at bay any longer, I lunged out of the building, looked for a nearby tree, and bent over it, losing my breakfast. My roiling gut hurt so bad, I fell to my knees.

Sweat beaded my brow and upper lip by the time my stomach had wrung itself empty. I staggered to my feet, reaching for the trunk when dizziness assailed me.

I wanted to go home and take a nice long shower, then change into my jammies and sleep for the next week.

I spotted Paul looking at me with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked, nodding his head toward the tree.

“Yep,” I answered. I didn’t want him to know that the memory of being naked in front of Floyd made me literally sick to my stomach, so I added, “I have a sick stomach. It must be something I ate. Or probably too much to drink.”

He nodded slowly and poured me a cup of tea from his thermos. As I drank it, I glanced at him, apprehensive about the fact he was studying me with the strangest expression.

“What?” I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew what he was thinking. I was a healthy girl. I was never under the weather.

Paul eyed me, untrustingly, for a moment. “Maybe you should go back home and take the day off.”

“Do you want me to get a doctor’s slip saying I’m healthy, or what? I told you I was fine, Paul.”

“Don’t go getting your panties in a bunch. I’m still your boss, and that gives me the right to worry about your health.”

A bitter taste of regret filled my mouth. Clearing my throat and straightening my shoulders, I held back from being too much like myself and politely said, “I’m feeling better than I did a few minutes ago. Whatever was in my system is out now. I’m sure I’m back to one-hundred percent.”

Still studying me with worried eyes, Paul said, “Okay, Kara, go back to work then.”

CHAPTER 9

That evening, I went to see my doctor. He listened to me, and sent me to see my gynecologist right away.

“Congratulations, Kara. You’re pregnant,” Dr. Natalie Carroll told me. She was the only gynecologist for a hundred miles. Right then, I wished I’d just taken one of those home-pregnancy tests because hearing a professional’s word on the subject made this feel way too real and unavoidable.

I couldn’t be pregnant. Could I? Now that I thought of it, when was the last time I had my period?

“My periods are fairly irregular, but even so… How could I have missed this?”

Dr. Carroll told me that spotting in the first month or two of a pregnancy could be mistaken for a light period.

The only man I had slept with was… Shit!

The doctor appeared to choose her next words delicately. “Are you going to go ahead with the pregnancy? Because if you’re not…”

I didn’t even have to think about it. Some things you just knew, with a bone-deep certainty. I drew a deep breath, scared yet sure. Very, very sure. “Oh, yes. Very definitely.”

Getting an abortion was out of the question. I wasn’t going to kill my baby because I had forgotten to wear condoms.

“I’m going to give you a list of over-the-counter prenatal vitamins,” Dr. Carroll kept explaining to me. “What I want you to do is choose one brand and start taking it immediately. Your body needs all sorts of nutrients it didn’t before, and you remaining healthy is of the utmost importance. Now, don’t forget to schedule an appointment with Tania at the front desk for next month before you leave. Here are a couple of pamphlets you need to read through.”

It was one of those pamphlets like the ones you see in a Simpsons’ episode, ‘So you’ve ruined your life’.

Too stunned to argue with the doctor, I nodded in understanding, slipped the pile of papers from her hand with limp fingers, and walked like a zombie toward the secretary’s desk.

Dr. Carroll’s receptionist, Tania Brooks, liked to stick her nose in other people’s business. She was one bitter bitch.

“Hi, Kara,” Tania greeted me. “I didn’t realize it was time for your yearly already. I thought you visited more around the end of the…” Her words died off as she opened my file and read the reason for her visit. “Oh my!” she gasped, and raised wide, curious eyes. “You’re…you’re…” Her gaze fell to my stomach.

“I need to schedule a new appointment for next month,” I growled.

Tania didn’t pry for more details, though she did try to talk about the weather as we hashed out a date for my next appointment. Not in the mood for any kind of chitchat, I merely booked it out of there as soon as Tania handed me a card bearing the date of my check-up.

I walked to my car in a trance. I sat there numb and dazed.

Pregnant. I was going to have a baby.

My heart was thumping against my chest and I felt every beat as if time had slowed down.

It didn’t seem real. What was I going to do with a baby? I didn’t know anything about kids.

I wasn’t ready to be a mother, that’s all there was to it. Sure, I wanted kids, someday. But not yet. Not on my own. Definitely not without warning.

Now what?

What were my parents going to say about this? What were Ray’s parents going to say? What would the whole town think of me?

I closed my eyes and rested my head against the steering wheel, trying to picture a little baby with my hair and Ray’s eyes.

An image of Ray flashed through my mind.

Ray. Oh, God. Ray.

Remembering him, I sat up straight, my eyes flying wide open. “Holy shit.”

This was his baby, too. Ray was going to be a daddy… Suddenly, I felt like curling into a ball and weeping —yet another sign of how pregnant I really was. My hormones were already whacked out of control.

How was this going to affect Ray?

I didn’t want to be the one to tell him. I wasn’t a coward by any means. In fact I never backed away from a good confrontation. But I did not want to see his face when he found out. I hoped it did not set back the progress he had made.

Biting the inside of my lip, I tried to think up a way to escape this.

Maybe I could flee the country and go live on a beach in Cancun. Yeah, my baby and I could be surfer bums. We could open a bar in the sand and drink margaritas every night of the week.

Or… I could convince Ray it wasn’t his baby. Now, there was an idea.

I’d have to lie about the date of conception as well and claim it was undercooked when it came out early. Or, maybe I could make up an affair before he came to town, which would make the kid overcooked. Either way, it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have to worry about raising a child who wasn’t his.

On the other hand, I’d be keeping Ray from his baby if I did that. Raymond Clarke was one responsible fellow. He’d want the truth, and he’d insist on doing something about it. If he made a mistake, he lived up to it. He’d want to be a part of the baby’s life.

Not only was Ray going to hate me, but every member of the community was going to see me as a slut. I never cared before, why now?

I groaned and rubbed at the aching spot in the center of my forehead. I had to tell Ray, no matter how awful it was going to be. There was no other logical, moral-minded choice.

The big question was, how was I going to do it?

“Hey, Ray, I’m pregnant. So… how was your day?”

Or, maybe, I could say, “Remember that one night when I sexually attacked you and we fucked like rabbits without a condom? Guess what? You’re going to be a daddy!”

Or it could be something like, “Ray, I’m a little pregnant, a little knocked up, I have a little bun in my little oven… and it’s yours.”

There was no easy way to break the news.

I tried to flick my mind through my options. But nothing I thought of seemed to make any sense because it didn’t seem real. It couldn’t be real, could it?

Damn, if thinking about it all couldn’t clench me up inside. I needed courage, more courage than I had ever needed before, because there was only one way to tell him something like this.

Face to face.

CHAPTER 10

The sun began to dip in the sky when I got home.

Ray was in the kitchen, sitting at the table with his hands wrapped tightly around an untouched cup of coffee in front of him. Something was wrong.

“Hello, Kara, sit down, please we need to talk,” he said. He sounded serious. I began to panic. My stomach tightened with unspeakable dread. I took a deep breath because the last thing I wanted was to throw up in my kitchen.

I sat down in front of him. My heart was hammering in my chest.

“I came back to town early today. I went to the grocery store because I wanted to cook dinner for you.”

I gulped and gave him a brief nod, inviting him to go on.

“Then, I overheard two women outside the store, gossiping. You know, I’m not the type to listen in on rumors. But when I heard your name I paid attention.”

“My name?” My eyes widened.

“Yep. One woman said to the other, shaking her head in dismay. ‘I still don’t know whether or not to believe it, though’.

“The first woman chuckled. ‘Well, we’ll know soon enough when her belly starts growing or not’.

“Then the second woman added, ‘I just want to know who supposedly knocked her up. I didn’t know she was seeing anyone’.”

I was pretty sure my face drained in color. I gulped and kept listening.

“The first woman went on. ‘What? You didn’t hear about what happened at the bar last week with Floyd Leland?’

“The second woman said, ‘I heard something about the two of them gone skinny dipping’.

“Then, both women grinned at each other with a knowing smile.”

“Shit,” was all I could say. The rumor mill was fast at work.

“Shit is right,” Ray said, “So, Kara, is the gossip around town true? Are you pregnant?”

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this,” I said. There were more pressing questions in my mind. “How could anyone know? I just found out myself today. There’s no way Dr. Carroll would start a rumor—”

Then, reality intruded, and I gasped. “Tania… That bitch! I ought to get her fired for breaking doctor-patient privilege.”

“You’d have to prove it was she who spread the news,” Ray commented.

“I… I was coming here to tell you. I definitely wasn’t going to tell anyone else until you knew. I just wasn’t sure how to break the news to you,” I said quietly, going back to Ray’s first questions.

“So, the baby is mine?”

“Of course it’s yours! What kind of girl do you think I am!”

Ray looked at me for a long while but said nothing.

I knew what he was thinking, “The kind who goes skinny dipping with a horny moron like Floyd Leland.” But he was too chivalrous to say something like that.

“I guess we’ll need to get married,” he announced. “We created a little human and you’re going to bring our child into the world. I’ll be there, by your side, through the whole thing. I promise you.”

“What?” I yelped. “Oh, no. We are not getting married. Not over this.”

“Why not?” Ray sighed. “Kara, there’s a child to consider.”

“So?” I retorted, “Single parents raise kids all the time. It’s not a big deal.”

“Well, I want my child to have two parents,” he said slowly, holding back his impatience. “Living in one house.”

“I’m not getting married to you because I’m pregnant. This isn’t the fifties anymore.”

Ray opened his mouth, but I held out a hand to stop him. “Let me finish. How do we know it’s going to last? I want my child to have a stable loving family, not one that was forced to be together. ”

“Will you just be reasonable, Kara?”

“Reasonable?” I shouted. “You’re the one losing it. Do you know how disastrous it would be for us to get married? God, Ray. Do I look like June Cleaver to you? A relationship without love is not going to work.”

“We’re getting married, Kara,” Ray repeated, with complete assuredness in his voice.

“It’s the stupidest thing in the world to get married just because of a child. What if I miscarry? Suddenly there’s no baby, and we’re still married. If you want to be involved in this kid’s life, we’ll work out some custody issues. You can have as much daddy time as you want. But that’s it.”

Ray was shaking his head, so I asked him. “What about love?”

He sent me a sharp look. “What about it?”

“We don’t love each other,” I blurted out desperately.

I looked at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Ray, tell me I’m wrong. Tell me that you love me.”

Ray looked back at me, but said nothing, so I went on, “How can you expect a marriage to last if the people getting hitched don’t even love each other? It’s hard enough when they do.”

“Love doesn’t mean forever,” he said quietly, “I’d just as soon not be in love in my next relationship.”

“Gee, thanks! How flattering,” my voice was full of sarcasm.

Ray’s expression was one of pure pain.

Watching him, I got what he was saying. He had suffered so deeply that he didn’t want to ever love again.

“I didn’t mean—” he started.

“I know what you meant,” I said, in a soft voice.

“No,” he said. “You don’t know. You don’t know at all. Love hurts. I can’t… I won’t ever let any other woman… Don’t you see? If I left myself open, someone else could leave me, cheat on me, or whatever, and there’d be one more huge, gaping hole split open right through the middle of me. So I’m just going to pass on the whole love thing from now on because I could certainly do without that kind of heartbreak for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t use what happened to you to win an argument. You’re making me feel like I kicked a sick dog. So cut it out. I’m not going to back down,” I said, scowling at him to hide the guilt of letting my own emotions take over when this was really about him and his misery.

“I’m not wrong,” he insisted.

“You are, but the point is we’re not getting married, end of story. Will you wake up and face the new millennium?”

“I don’t care if it’s old-fashioned. A child needs a sturdy foundation. There are too many mixed families out there with too many messed-up kids.”

I snorted. “Well, it’s going to have me for a mom, so I’d say it’s already screwed there.”

Ray blinked, looking surprised I could say such a thing. “I think you just might surprise yourself on that count.”

My mouth fell open. “What makes you think I’m in any way motherly?”

“I know you, Kara. I know what’s hidden behind your tough exterior. You’re going to be a great mother.”

Ray stepped suddenly closer to me. He lifted his hand to set it on the side of my neck.

“I want to marry you, Kara,” he murmured, his face drawing closer to mine. “Why don’t you want to marry me?”

His achingly sweet tone melted everything inside me like butter over hot pancakes. I wished I could sneer something scathing like, “Gee, maybe because this whole marriage idea has nothing to do with me and everything to do with your own sense of morality.” But I couldn’t utter the words.

Strange. I kept finding more and more that I was unable to say aloud lately, which was very unlike me.

Ray’s fingers curled, and he ran his knuckles over my jaw, watching his hand caress me as if it were the most precious thing in the world.

I grabbed his wrist pulling his hand from my face. “You can’t sweet talk me into this.”

He had the gall to look amused. “I assure you, it never once crossed my mind that I could sweet talk the ultimate hard-ass girl into doing anything.”

Ray tilted his head as if he was going to kiss me. I swallowed and tightened my grip on his wrist, meeting his gaze with a stony expression.

I knew him. I knew what each look meant. I knew when he wanted to be with me. I knew when he was tired, hungry, and even when he wanted to be left alone.

Part of me wanted to hate that I knew all of this about Ray, and the other part, the part that I shouldn’t listen to, wanted to hold him in my arms and never let him go. That part wanted to build a life, a home, and a family with him and trust that everything was going to be okay.

“You can’t seduce me into it, either.”

But he threw me off track when he quietly admitted, “I can’t stop thinking about our first night here.”

God! I couldn’t stop thinking about it, either. That was when all this mess started.

“We were good together,” he breathed, tilting his face even closer until our foreheads were almost touching. “Don’t try to disagree with me. I’ll know you’re lying. You liked it just as much as I did.”

“S—so?” I uttered, in a suddenly shaky voice. “Good sex does not—”

“It’d be a nice little side benefit, though, wouldn’t it?” His mouth was close enough that it brushed mine with every few words he spoke. “Just imagine it. Any time you wanted it, there I’d be. You could wake up on a lazy Saturday morning, roll toward me, and take me any way you wanted.”

I swallowed, helpless to imagine it. The idea was tempting, especially if the man was Ray.

I felt his lips press against my forehead. I didn’t know what to think about all of this. It seemed to be too much too fast.

“I miss that about being in a steady relationship,” he said, tugging free of my hold on his wrist, so he could bring his fingers back to my face. Tracing the bottom curve of my lip, he continued. “I miss knowing someone was beside me to touch and kiss whenever I wanted. But knowing it’d be you would be even more—”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to. Closing my eyes, I lifted my face in surrender.

It’d been almost three months since we’d been together. But I could still recall the exact texture of his fingers on me.

Ray stripped off my shirt in one swift move and cupped my breasts, pinching my nipples.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch,” I cried. “They’re tender.”

“Sorry,” he rasped.

I thought Ray would leave my swollen tits alone. But telling him they were ultra-sensitive only seemed to make him more interested. Gentling his touch, he pushed down the cups and gathered the twins in his hands, massaging them with a skill that made me moan and arch against him.

“Damn you, Ray!” I whispered, in a husky voice.

He grinned, picked me up, laid me on the couch, and moved down on top of me.

Part of me knew having sex right now would be a really bad idea. Too much was still unresolved.

“Stop,” I panted, covering his hands with my shaking fingers.

I looked into Ray’s eyes, and the desire I saw in them almost made me forget about everything else. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

This was pure, hot need in its rawest form.

“This isn’t going to resolve anything,” I muttered.

I knew I wasn’t going to stop Ray if he pressed the matter. In fact, I’d probably beg him for more until we were both naked and sweaty and depleted from rippling orgasms. But Ray was a gentleman and he realized the timing was wrong.

Taking a deep breath, he scooted to the other end of the room.

I pushed my bra back into place. Then I went and retrieved my shirt.

“I won’t marry you,” I repeated.

His gaze was unreadable. He studied me for a moment and then said, “I think we should at least tell our families together.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Tell them what? That we’re not getting married?”

“No, smarty pants. That you’re pregnant,” he corrected, sending me a scowl for my lame attempt at sarcasm.

“You’re right,” I muttered reluctantly.

“We can’t put it off now, we know the word’s spreading. Our families need to learn the news from us… especially your side.”

“Why especially my side?”

“Because my parents are still on a cruise. And even if they knew you’re pregnant, they wouldn’t think it’s mine. But it’s pretty obvious the baby is yours… so, it’s more urgent to tell your side.”

“Fine,” I sighed in defeat. “Let’s get this over with then.”

CHAPTER 11

We used my car to drive together to my parents’ house. I knew my parents would be at home. They had probably just finished dinner.

I parked in the driveway and we walked together to the front door.

Stopping in the doorway, I could feel Ray stumble to a halt beside me. From the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at me curiously, probably worried I was going to chicken out.

Of course, I didn´t.

I knocked on the front door and waited. My heart thumped in my chest. Ray took my hand in his, squeezed, and gave me a reassuring smile.

He wanted me to make the announcement. So, I’d announce.

“Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. If anyone cares to know, Ray and I are having a baby.”

With that said, I turned to stalk off. Ray remained outside the front door, staring after me.

“Are you coming?” I asked Ray.

“Kara, get your tail back here!” my father shouted out. He sounded pissed at me.

I muttered a curse, closed my eyes, and turned in Dad’s direction. Ray and I stepped into the living room, our hands linked together. He sat at my side, and gave me a reassuring smile. We looked at my parents in silence for a few seconds.

It surprised me just how comforted I was by Ray’s automatic show of support. He might be a quiet, reserved person, giving off the impression he was shy. But he had a backbone. He didn’t back down from certain duties, even ones that made him want to run for the hills.

“You’re pulling our leg, aren’t you?” Dad finally said, as he glanced from me to Ray. “I mean, you two…” he shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of negative thoughts.

“I’m so disappointed in you two,” my mother growled, and glared disapprovingly between Ray and me.

“So… when’s the wedding?” Dad asked.

Ray looked expectantly at me. “That’s what I’d like to know.”

He bent down on one knee, took my hand in his, and said, “Kara Grant will you marry me?”

Mom gasped.

I should have guessed Ray was going to do something like this to me in front of my parents.

“Get up, you romantic fool,” I hissed.

“Not until you answer.” His eyes were dead serious and locked on mine.

I sighed. Too bad my sister Jenny wasn’t here. She would have taken my side.

“No, I won’t marry you,” I said, clearly and loudly enough for all to hear. “You can’t peer-pressure me into a marriage. You should know me better than this.”

Ray rose from his bended knee in one smooth gesture. His face flashed red.

I hadn’t meant to be harsh, but come on!

“Kara, please.” Ray took my hand and a familiar warmth shot up my arm.

“We’re not getting married,” I said, and pulled my hand from his.

“I want to know why there’s not going to be a wedding,” Mom growled.

“That’s none of your concern, Mom,” I said, with a defying look.

“No, I want to hear this reason, too,” Ray said, crossing his arms over his chest and cocking me an arch look.

I growled in frustration. Damn! I knew I probably hadn’t heard the last of his marriage-talk nonsense, but I never would’ve guessed Ray would so sneakily enlist the help of my own parents.

“Don’t you start with me again,” I groused. “We already went over this. There’s no reason we should marry. I told you, you can have as much Daddy time as you want. You can—”

“That’s not the same, and you know it. A baby needs a family,” Ray said. Dad and Mom nodded, approving his words.

“You’re being ridiculous.” I raised my voice.

“Kara,” Ray said under his breath, risking a quick glance toward Dad. My father was listening to his every word. “Will you just listen to me? I—”

“No. I’m not going to sit here and listen to you all over again. We’re not getting married, and that’s that.”

“Guess you two are still working out the date,” Mom cut in. She eyed Ray thoughtfully before sighing. “I suppose there’s worse out there.”

For the first time since entering my parents’ home, Ray looked contrite.

“Thanks, Mom, you just insulted my baby’s father,” I told her.

Ray definitely had a hold on me, because I felt the urge to defend him, to say I’d marry him just to wipe that miserable look of shame off his face. I’d never liked seeing anything suffer, but that trait seemed magnified tenfold with Ray.

“Can we leave now?” I asked abruptly, more uncomfortable with the situation than I ever would’ve admitted. I’d probably just turn tail and stalk out of there if the obstinate man who’d knocked me up hadn’t insisted on us riding together.

Ray nodded once and then focused his attention on my parents. “There will be a wedding,” he assured them.

“Do you ever think about someone else besides yourself, Kara? You’ll be a trollop to the people in town. How will that make us look? Your father and I will have to drive to the next town to get our groceries,” Mom said, wringing her hands. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

“That’s enough!” Ray growled, effectively making my annoying mother swallow her tongue.

Mom looked at Ray with her mouth open. Dad was surprised, too. I saw a look of respect in his eyes.

It felt somewhat strange watching someone defend me. Strange in a good way.

I linked my arm with Ray’s, and we turned toward the front door

Ray spoke softly in my ear. “What’s it going to take for you to say yes?”

I stiffened. He just wouldn’t stop pushing me for more. It was time to be blunt.

“Love. You don’t love me.”

He looked confused. “You’re the mother of my only child. We are best friends, of course, I love you.”

I shook my head. “You love my baby. You’re not IN LOVE with me.”

“Love is something made up by corporations to sell more cards.”

“If you truly believe that, then you’ve never been in love.”

“I thought I was in love once. I thought it was true love. But she tore my heart out of my chest and stomped on the pieces until there was nothing left. It won’t happen again.”

+++

As soon as Skype opened, I heard it ringing and my heart leaped.

Ray looked at me, and I nodded. Then, he clicked the green button.

A screen popped up and two beaming faces appeared before us.

Ray’s parents looked a bit older than I remembered, but I still recognized them. They both looked happy and tanned.

This was probably going to change. Informing your parents that you knocked up an old friend might run their trip.

“Ray,” his mother exclaimed, her eyes brightening instantly. “What a delightful surprise.”

“Mom,” Ray murmured, smiling back at her.

“Hello, son,” said Ray’s father, waving his hand. Then, he noticed me lurking behind his son.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you were with someone else. Who is this beautiful lady?” he asked.

“Mom… Dad… Remember Kara?”

I sat at Ray’s side and waved to the screen.

“Of course, hello dear. Nice to see you again,” Ray’s mother said waving to the screen. “Your sister was involved in that terrible accident,” she said, and shook her head.

“That’s right, Mrs. Clarke. Nice to see you again,” I said waving back.

“Please, call me Samantha, dear. How is she doing?”

“Jenny had some rough times, as you can imagine, but now she is doing great. She got a teaching degree and she is working at Middletown High. She also got married to a wonderful man.”

Ray’s parents smiled at me.

“We’re happy for her. Give your sister our regards,” Mrs. Clarke said.

“I will. Thank you.”

An awkward silence followed. I wasn’t interested in small talk; I wanted Ray to get straight to the point. I elbowed him in the ribs, silently urging him to talk.

“Everything’s okay?” Mr. Clarke asked, sending his son a questioning look.

It was clear Ray’s parents had no idea which was the purpose of my presence.

Ray cleared his throat and announced without preamble. “Kara is pregnant.” That both his parents were shocked was obvious, although to her credit his mother recovered herself quickly. “But… but that’s… wonderful… Congratulations, dear!”

“The baby is mine,” Ray added.

Mr. Clark looked at his son in shock. “Are you absolutely sure?”

My jaw tightened. Ray took my hand in his and squeezed it. “I’m positive, Dad.”

“How did that happen?” Mrs. Clarke asked.

“You know Kara and I had a close relationship in high school,” Ray started to explain.

His parents looked at each other and then his father said, “Go on.”

“When I came back to Middletown, we reconnected, and since we were both singles we decided to rekindle our relationship,” Ray explained.

He was stretching the truth to the breaking point. I realized he was doing it to make what had happened look better.

“What about the baby?” Ray’s mother pushed.

Ray looked at me and gave me a small, almost imperceptible wink. “No birth control method is one-hundred percent safe,” he said.

“Especially when you use none,” I thought.

Mr. Clarke was the one who recovered fast. He gave Ray his best grin and said “Well, congratulations to both of you. Are you getting married?”

“We are not making wedding plans yet,” Ray said curtly.

“That’s wise,” agreed Mr. Clarke

I didn’t like Mr. Clarke’s tone and what he implied with that remark, but kept my mouth shut.

“Don’t you think it is a bit too soon to jump into a new relationship?” Ray’s mother intervened eyeing me. “You just broke up with your fiancée.”

“What happened between Amy and me it’s a whole different story,” Ray said. “There is some important information I kept to myself, but given the circumstances I might have tell you the real reason why we broke up when you’re back,” Ray said, raising his voice.

“You know you can tell us everything, Ray,” his mother said. “Your father and I just want what’s good for you.”

“So what are you going to do?” Ray’s father asked.

“Kara and I are evaluating our options. That said, I’m staying here in Middletown with Kara.”

“Are you living together?” His father asked.

“Yes, we are. I know this is not what you wanted for me, but I’m not a child anymore. I can make my own decisions.” I placed a hand on his arm. He started at my touch, and then visibility relaxed. “I’m doing what it’s right.” He looked at the screen defying his parents to say different. I could see his father pressing his lips together, but he said nothing.

“Your father and I just to what’s better for you, Ray…” His mother’s voice faded at the fierce look in her son’s eyes.

“I’ll call you soon,” Ray said, recovering his cool.

“We will be expecting your call, Son,” Mr. Clarke said, ending the call not giving Ray any chance to reply.

Ray turned off his laptop, and leaned back on his chair. He took a couple of deep breaths.

For a long, long moment, we sat in silence. I moved my chair closer and rested my head on his shoulder. Finally, and very quietly, I said, “Your parents must hate me right now.”

“This is not about you. They are worried about me.”

“Maybe so, but I’m also pretty sure they don’t like me.”

“It’s the situation they don’t like, not you. My parents probably think I’m making a mistake being here with you. But I’m not. We are in this together.”

“Thank you for standing for me,” I murmured.

“You’re welcome. I didn’t do it just for you. I did it for us.”

Us. I loved the way it sounded.

CHAPTER 12

I should have known I was pregnant when everything began to stink. Not life, mind you, or the fact that I have gained five pounds overnight. But everything else stank, real bad. I kept asking, “What’s that smell?” and Ray would look at me and say, “What smell?”

This describes my morning sickness, which didn’t just happen in the morning. No, it happened to me all day, every day, and mostly when something had a strong odor to it. The smell of coffee was horrendous to me.

I was energetically stirring my herbal tea bag, getting the string tangled around the spoon when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen and sighed. It was my sister.

“Hi, Sis,” Jenny greeted me.

“Hi, Jenny.”

“Mom called Liam and me a while ago, and told us the happy news… about the baby.”

I sighed. “I can imagine what she said.”

Jenny laughed on the other side of the line. “You would be right.”

“Your sister is driving me crazy,” I said, doing a perfect impersonation of my mother’s voice. “She got pregnant and now she doesn’t want to get married. She is going to give me a heart attack. How could she do this to me?”

We both laughed.

“You know Mom. She’ll eventually come around,” Jenny said.

“Or maybe that’s just magical thinking,” I sighed.

“You know you can count on me, right?”

“I know, Jen. Thank you.”

“You’re going to need a lot of help in the next few months to come.”

“Help?” I asked blankly.

“Kara,” Jenny said softly. “Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into? You’re going to have a baby. A little person that will depend on you for everything.”

“Why do you have to go and remind me? I was doing a good job at avoiding that little detail,” I said, half-jokingly.

She laughed, and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I feel? I am tired of seeing my food twice.”

“You know what I am asking you, Kara,” Jenny said. “I know you better than anyone. You hide it well, but you’re probably scared.”

“I am,” I admitted, feeling suddenly sick. “I really, really am.”

“We’ll figure it out together, Sis. You’re not alone.”

“I know. But I’m not alone. Ray is with me…” My eyes widened as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

I was truly counting on Ray. Wow!

I could imagine my sister’s smile on the other side of the line.

“Ray is a great man, Kara.”

“Yes, he is a great FRIEND,” I emphasized on the last word.

Jenny just laughed, “Keep telling that to yourself that he’s just a friend. He’s the father of your baby, too.”

“You too, Jen?”

“I’ll say just one more thing, Sis. Did you consider that Ray must be wondering if the reason why you don’t want to marry him is because you think he is not good enough for you?”

“Oh, shit!”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Jenny said.

“I have to talk with him and set things straight.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me. Call me if you need to talk… or a bridesmaid,” Jenny laughed, and ended the call.

I was not sure how to tell Ray pity had gone out the window the second my mouth had touched his that first night.

I went to the living room and stood in front of him, until he raised his head from the phone and looked at me.

“Listen to me carefully, Ray Clarke: I do not pity you!” I blurted out.

He looked at me, confused. “Okay?”

“Have you seen a mirror recently? You’re not exactly hurting in the looks department.”

I blatantly skimmed my eyes up his trim jeans and tucked-in shirt to his throat and striking face. Oh, yeah, he wasn’t lacking at all.

“You smell good, too,” I added, moving even closer until my nose was only inches from his neck, where I took a big whiff, almost groaning when I inhaled his male scent. “Your smell is one of the few that doesn’t make want me to puke.”

“Eh… thanks?”

The heat coming off his body was intoxicating.

I shivered in delight. “I don’t mind the way your hands felt on me, either,” I whispered into his ear.

I lifted my fingers to his hair and was about to tell him I liked the texture when he caught my wrist. I gasped in surprise and met his stare.

“I remember how you used to take in stray dogs and patch them up.” His nostrils flared as he spoke, telling me my proximity affected him. “I’m not some lame bird with a broken wing, Kara.”

“Thank God,” I purred, rubbing against him. “Because right now, I want some hard, fast sex, no strings attached, no emotions involved… just body to body, mouth to mouth…” I murmured the last few words against his lips and didn’t finish the sentiment before his tongue scraped over my teeth.

His hands skimmed my body once before he grasped the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I stripped off his pants. More articles of clothing followed as we stumbled toward my room.

I was dazed by the explosion of need roaring through me and the desperation with which I wanted it. Ray pushed my room’s door open with his foot and carried me all the way to the bed.

Sitting me on the mattress, he followed until we were facing each other. As I peeled off his shirt, he focused his attention on my breasts.

“Are they still tender?”

I could only nod. My boobs didn’t grow overnight. They took their sweet time coming out. But once they did… Damn, they looked good. I was so proud of them. On the downside, was the pain that came with bigger boobs. My boobs felt so sensitive and tight, I could barely stand to put on a bra. They just ached.

Ray gently removed my bra. When I still winced, he whispered his regret and bent his head to spread a few apologetic kisses over the swollen flesh.

I forgave him immediately, especially when he sucked a throbbing bud into his mouth.

Warm, caressing fingers skimmed down my skin and hovered over my stomach a moment before pressing gently as if greeting the baby inside.

“Any nausea?” he asked, glancing up at me with concern.

“No, doctor,” I said, with a wicked smile. “Do you want to take my temperature next?”

He grinned. “Only if you think you can handle my thermometer.”

“Oh, my God! Did I hear wrong, or did the golden boy of Middletown just make a dirty, suggestive comment?”

“Golden boy?” he echoed in surprise. Shaking his head, bemused, he leaned over me, causing me to lie back on the bed. “Let me convince you just how wrong you are.”

Giving me a hard, demanding kiss, he set his hands on my knees and pushed them apart.

I was ready. I wanted to feel his thick probing head at my wet entrance more than I wanted my next breath.

And when he did, I moaned a sigh of relief.

Finally, Ray pushed his way deeper into my pussy. But suddenly, he stopped and pulled out. I tightened my thighs around him in protest, but he merely shook his head. “Not yet,” he told her. “I refuse to rush this.”

“Rushing sounds fine to me,” I panted.

But Ray had other ideas.

He kissed my throat and breasts, working his way across my stomach. I tensed, expecting and craving the feel of his tongue between my legs. But he didn’t go any further than my belly button.

After sliding a finger inside my pussy to test my wetness, Ray straightened above me, bracing his arms on the mattress at either side of my head. He gazed into my eyes, going frustratingly slowly, as he started to enter me again as if purposely tormenting me.

Once he was seated fully, he stroked out once and pushed immediately back inside to the hilt. I cursed and dug my nails into his shoulders.

“You like?” he asked.

Biting my lip to swallow down a cry of desire, I rasped, “You know I do.”

He pulled all the way out. “Then marry me,” he whispered against my throat. “And you can have it whenever you want.”

I jerked in surprise. I couldn’t believe he could think of anything but getting back inside me. It was insulting to realize his mind was still working enough to think about his plans for marriage.

“No,” I heard myself growl.

Rolling onto my stomach away from him, I crawled across the mattress and grabbed my bra. He came up behind me and caught my wrist, shaking it once until the piece of cloth dropped from my grasp.

Then, pinning my hand to the bed, he attempted to push his way inside me from behind.

“Marry me, Kara,” he repeated.

“Damn it, Ray,” I growled, and tried to crawl off the bed. “Don’t do this right now. I said no strings.”

“But what if I got depressed in the middle of the night,” he asked, his voice light and teasing, though it carried a hard underlying edge. “I’d need your sympathetic touch.”

“Will you shut up?” I snapped, trying to close my legs and buck him off. “I don’t give pity fu—”

He cut my words off with his mouth on the back of my neck and his hand on my breast. I tried to pull away, but he caught me around the waist and entered me completely.

“Oh, yes,” I moaned, and arched my back, forgetting everything but him —moving with him in sync with his rhythm and loving him with everything I had.

“Later, then,” he growled, and grabbed my hips, pumping furiously.

I squirmed and pushed back against him, wanting it harder and faster.

Once the last shudder racked me, I collapsed on my stomach and rested my face on the pillow. Ray settled his weight on top of me, spooning me into the mattress. I loved the feel of his warm flesh matted to mine.

I whispered, “I can’t believe you’d even suggest I’d ever sleep with you out of pity. I think I wanted to have sex with you since I saw you making out with Carlie Wilson at the Flower Festival.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really, silly.”

Ray set his hand on my shoulder and kissed my hair. He didn’t say anything else.

I sighed in contentment and snuggled closer to him. I closed my eyes enjoying the afterglow of sexual ecstasy.

I could get used to this.

CHAPTER 13

I woke in a river of sensuous pleasure. Smiling.

Already boneless from our previous encounter only hours before, I could only lay there as it wasn’t morning yet, but still late in the night. He kissed my shoulder and slowly combed my hair with his fingers. His fingers glided gently down my stomach and across my hip.

Ray was the best lover I have ever had. Not that I had many, mind you. My body was still tingling.

One thought, only one thought, crawled through my mind: “I can’t let him go.”

Yawning, I turned my head and met a pair of vivid blue eyes watching me. Letting out a contented sigh, I arched my hips and felt my thighs spread to allow him more room to explore.

“Feel nice?” he asked, as he nipped my earlobe.

“Mm-hmm,” I purred.

“Then just imagine it,” he said, dotting kisses along my jaw and down my throat. All the while, his fingers played between my thighs. “If we were married, we could do this all the time… anytime.”

“Don’t start that again, Ray. Please. We’re not going to…” I gasped before finishing the words because Ray pushed his index finger inside my pussy. Then he removed it and rubbed his slick finger across the nub just above my opening, and I moaned. My knuckles were white from grabbing the wadded sheet at my side.

Ray sat up suddenly so he could watch his own handiwork. When he finally looked up and met my gaze, I climaxed. After a few seconds, I realized I wasn’t having just one orgasm, I was experiencing a chain reaction. It was as if tiny pleasure bombs were exploding within me.

“Wow! Just wow!” I breathed out, still catching my breath.

“Wow is just right,” Ray panted.

“You make my body tingle like never before.”

“The only good thing I probably got from my relationship with the slut was that I became really good in bed.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring sad memories.”

“You know what? Amy is fading from my memory more and more since I’m with you.”

“Despite all her experience in bed, sex was never as good as it is with you. Sex and love always go together for me and I just don’t think I could have my needs met by someone I’m not in love with.”

My heart was pounding in my chest. Had Ray inadvertently said he was in love with me?

I looked up at him.

“Kara?” Ray whispered.

“Yes?”

“Will you marry me?”

I looked down and saw the ring in his hand. It had a huge white diamond on it and was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“I bought it yesterday. It’s brand new,” he informed me.

I found it suddenly hard to breathe. Ray was so cute and adorable. And a sex god in bed. I felt my resolution weakening. Forcing myself to toughen up, I said, “I hope you don’t actually think I’ll ever wear any kind of jewelry.”

He merely smiled a lazy tilting of the lips. “But it’s a wedding ring. Lots of men wear them, too. So, I don’t consider it jewelry. Dad says once you get used to it, you kind of feel naked without it on. Think of it as underwear. It’s just another part of getting dressed in the morning.”

I sent him a dry look. “Ever heard of going commando?”

His eyes glittered with amusement. “Married people don’t go commando.”

I snorted. “Oh, really? And why’s that?”

He shrugged. “There’s always clean underwear around to wear when you’re married.”

I threw back my head and laughed.

Ray took my hand and started to try the ring on. Immediately, I grew alarmed and curled my fingers into a fist, preventing him from finishing his unwavering task.

I could give our baby security. The security of having a father around. A father who, I was certain, would love the baby as much as I did, who would be the kind of role model that any kid would give his or her eye teeth for.

Ray was not offering me rose-tinted dreams and an impossibly romantic future together, but surely his proposal was just practical and honest.

“What are you afraid will happen if you say yes?”

His probing gaze lifted to mine.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” I said, admiring the ring. I sighed and looked back at him. “You don’t want to do this, Ray,” I whispered. “I’m warning you. It’ll just turn into a disaster if we get married.”

Keeping his eyes on mine and not saying a word, he slowly pried open my fingers. If his hand would’ve been forceful and confident, I probably would’ve fought him harder. But as it was, his touch trembled with an uncertainty that tugged at my heartstrings.

We silently stared at each other as he slid the ring into place. It fit a little snugly, making me panic and suck in a breath, thinking it would never come off again. Then I grew even more unnerved because I didn’t want it off.

My heart fluttered and I struggled to get it under control. Ray always made me feel things I never felt for anyone else. I raised my hand and looked at the ring.

This was simply overwhelming.

“You’re not going to give up on this, am I right?”

“You are.”

“Fine.” Let the stubborn fool have his way for a little while. “But you asked for this. We’ll try the whole marriage thing until it falls through. And when it does —which it will— I’m going to be right there in your face, saying I told you so.”

Ray nodded. “All right then,” he told me. He was clearly relieved. “We’ll get married next Friday if that’s good for you.”

“Next Friday?” I said dumbly. “So soon?”

“Why wait? We’ll get married before you start to show. I’m assuming you don’t want a huge elaborate ceremony that would take months to plan. But I’m flexible if you want something different.”

It scared me how easy it was to love him.

I swallowed and immediately put on my cool face again, ignoring the leap of excitement in my belly.

“Next Friday is okay, Ray. Let’s get married.”

He looked at me, and smiled. A mile wide smile. “It’s not a death sentence, Kara. It’s marriage.”

“Is there any difference?” I said, trying to sound as if I were joking.

“We’ll go for the marriage license at Town Hall tomorrow,” Ray went on ignoring me. “Ten AM is good for you?”

“Yes.”

“Good talk, fiancée,” he said, with a wink.

+++

Next day, Ray and I were standing in line at the Town Hall waiting for our marriage license.

I paced a bit while my mind ricocheted from one extreme to another as we waited our turn for a license.

“Just go with it. He’ll make a great dad,” the tiny angel on my shoulder said. “Marrying Ray would be good for your baby. He’s a good man.”

Then, the devil on the other extreme, said, “He doesn’t love you. He is damaged goods. Don’t marry him for the wrong reasons.”

The angel was right; I wanted my kid to have a good life, a stable life.

The older woman in front of us left with her dog license and gave us a smile on her way out.

“Next,” the town clerk, Kylie Phillips, called. She was another gossip girl.

Ray grabbed my hand and pulled me forward.

“We’d like a marriage license,” Ray whispered, though we were the only people left in the office.

“Oh, my, my, my,” Kylie said, placing a hand on her heart. “So the rumors around town are true. Are you pregnant, Kara? I’ve been praying for you.”