A Conversation of Consequence
Story Sentence: Things spiraled beyond her control.
Author’s Note: This is a resubmission of a recently pulled story. I requested Lit to pull it because of a timing issue with another submission. I took the opportunity to do a little editing, but the story hasn’t changed at all. So, if you think you recently read this story you did, and you don’t need to read it again.
This is another of my stand-alone conversation stories. It’s not really original in that it concerns a long-term married wife who wants ‘new experiences.’ And the conversation she has with her husband about it. To oversimplify things, it is a “hall pass” genre story with a twist.
It’s not a really long story. (About 7,750 words). There is not a lot of descriptive sex, no burned bitches or bastards, and no physical harm comes to anyone.
Main Characters:
Husband: Thomas “Tommy” Ventura age 44, married to Bev for 25 years.
Wife: Beverly “Bev” Ventura age 44, married Tommy right out of high school. Mother of 3 teenage children 18-20 living at home and attending college.
Child #1: Perris, aged 20, only daughter, Junior in college.
Child #2: Franklin, son aged 19, a college sophomore.
Child #3: Tracy, aged 18, youngest child, and a recent high school graduate.
Dr. Tennille Adams: Dr. of psychology and licensed family therapist
Story:
Thomas and Beverly Ventura were cleaning up after a very successful Twenty-fifth Anniversary party. This, not coincidentally, was also Bev’s forty-fourth birthday. The way Thomas looked at it, he would more readily remember both events (very important for a successful marriage) if they occurred on the same day. On the other hand, if he forgot them, he would only be exposed to the risk of punishment once a year instead of a twice-yearly vulnerability.
They were both exhausted from the planning and execution of the joint celebration, but they were convinced that the over fifty people in attendance, including their three children, had a wonderful time.
Strangely, Tom found himself feeling melancholy about the day. He was having more and more of those type of days recently. He couldn’t really put his finger on its cause. It just seemed as if he didn’t really enjoy anything as much as he used to. Sometimes he felt as if he was in a fog. It was like he was searching for something that wasn’t there anymore. Oh well. He thought. It was probably just a middle age thing. Beverly had seemed a little off to him during the party herself. He dismissed his thoughts and began the mundane task of cleaning up.
“Tommy, do you think we could have an adult conversation tonight?”
Under normal circumstances, an announcement such as this would set off grave alarm bells in the mind of any husband with a reasonable amount of cognizance. It didn’t cause Thomas an undue level of concern though. He immediately recognized, of course, that Bev wanted to talk about something consequential. She wouldn’t use that provocative opening line to tell him she put a dent in the car.
They had these dialogues two to three times a year. Of course, they occurred much more frequently, early on during the marriage. It was difficult for two individuals as they attempted navigate their way to becoming a single entity that a successful long-term marriage required.
While it usually meant that Bev was unhappy about something, it wasn’t all bad news. In every case thus far during their marriage, it ended up with some fantastic makeup sex. That’s because the rules of these so-named “adult” conversations were that regardless of how angry or upset the spouse was that called the meeting, it would be held in bed after all the children were asleep. Oh yes, and very importantly, they would both be naked, and they couldn’t hide from the other under the covers. They had to be completely exposed to one another. And, most importantly, they had to embrace each other throughout the entirety of the conversation.
Personally, Tommy found it very hard to stay angry at his wife while he cradled her in his arms with her exposed breasts pressed sensually against his chest. To date, this method had successfully resolved every conflict during their marriage. He had no worries that this wouldn’t be the case later tonight.
As Tommy was on the receiving end of the meeting request, it was his choice if their nightstand lights would be on or off. He usually chose on, so he could see Bev’s breasts rise and fall seductively as her passion for whatever was the subject of the meeting increased. Tonight, for some reason, he chose, off. That turned out to be a prophetic choice on his part.
“Tommy, our last baby just graduated high school and will be going off to college…”
“Well, I’m not sure that ‘going off to college’ is the right way to describe it, Bev.” Tommy interrupted. “I mean, joining Perris and Franklin at the state college fifteen minutes from our house, hardly qualifies?”
“You know what I mean.”
He smiled in the darkness. “Yes, honey, I do know what you are saying. Even though they are still living with us, it’s like we are turning the page to another chapter in our lives.”
Bev quickly raised herself up and kissed Tommy hard on the lips. She made it a point to have her hardened nipples drag lightly across his chest while kissing Tommy. Bev knew that drove him crazy. “I’m so glad you understand and feel it too. It makes what I have to tell you that much easier.”
With that pronouncement, and better late than never, the claxon alarm started clanging in Tommy’s head. He was happy he chose to turn the lights off. He didn’t want his face to give anything away to her.
“Sweetheart, as you know, I have been out of sorts for a while now. And, our love has matured to the point that I believe you will understand where I’m coming from…I mean… there are new things I want to experience…”
“Just say what’s on your mind, Bev.” He spoke warily.
“Okay, I want to have other experiences…before we get too old…the kids don’t need me like they used to…”
“For god’s sake, Bev, spit it out!” He said it much louder than he meant to. He recovered quickly and remembered none of the kids were spending the night at home to have heard his outburst. Hmmmm, interesting.
“I want to have other relationships…broaden my horizons, so to speak.”
Tommy was ninety-nine percent sure of where this conversation was headed, but he wasn’t going to let her off the hook. “Please, Bev, just…tell me…what you want. No more euphemisms, no more stalling. Just fucking say it!” Tommy had never used that word in Bev’s presence before, but he suspected he would be using it a lot from now on.
Thomas had always been the steadier of the two. He wasn’t prone to fancy or panic in tense situations. He kept an “even keel,” as he referred to it. He didn’t ever get too high when things were going his way, and he didn’t get down when they went against him. As a logistics engineer, he was process-oriented in his work and home life. Beverly, on the other hand, was the more free-spirited of the two. And she was prone to flights of fancy and wore her emotions on her sleeve. She worked for a marketing company, so her personality was well suited to her avocation.
Their two different personality types had always worked well for their relationship. One partner’s weakness was the other’s strength, as it were. He was sure that symbiotic attribute was to be sorely tested in the coming weeks.
Beverly climbed on top of Thomas, straddling his cock. He was sure she was hoping her toy would rise to the occasion, so she could control what came next. but Bev was disappointed. If it hadn’t been so dark and she could have seen the expression on Tommy’s face, she might not have proceeded.
“You know what I’m saying, Tommy. Don’t play games with me, honey. This is very important to me. However, I want you to know that I would never do something like this…never change the dynamic of our relationship, without your understanding and approval. We’ve been a team our whole lives together, and this would be no different.”
His insides were churning, but he maintained a calm facade. He had slipped into his work persona. “This conversation isn’t going any further, until you tell me, clearly and directly, what you want, Beverly.”
“Tommy, you know what I’m asking. Please believe me, I’m not telling you.” Tom, with some amount of force, pulled Bev off of him and struggled to get up. “All right, Tommy, don’t leave. I want to have relationships…Tommy started to rise again. She held him tighter. “Tommy, I’ve never been with anyone but you. So yes, sex is part of it, but I want to have relations with other men, while I’m still young enough to enjoy it.”
At this point, most husbands would be outraged. There would be lots of yelling and screaming, but Tommy was smarter than that. “Tell me why it is so important to you.” She hesitated. “Oh, come on Bev. I know you are impulsive, but you’re an intelligent and professional woman. You didn’t arrive at this conclusion at dinner tonight. You didn’t see a handsome young man pass you by the other day and say to yourself, ‘I’ve got to have him.’ So, I need your thought process as to how you arrived at this momentous decision before, I can give you, my thoughts.”
Now it was Beverly’s turn to be surprised. Tommy had a strange look as he spoke. Beverly couldn’t really decipher it in the darkness despite being right on top of him. She had anticipated yelling and screaming, hence the kids being out of the house.
Furthermore, she found it a little unsettling that Tommy was correct. She had been considering this for months. She had even discussed it with her best friend Simi, several times as to how she should raise the subject with Tommy. Simi told her she was crazy to have a conversation with her husband about it. She had warned her to cheat covertly, and never, ever, say a word to Tommy about it. Bev briefly considered Simi’s suggestion, but she couldn’t do that to her Tommy.
“Sweetheart, I turned forty-four today. You know I am an eternal optimist, but even I have to admit that more than half of my life is probably over. I really feel the need to experience emotional relationships with others. I know it’s selfish of me, but I feel strongly about it.” She paused, expecting Tommy to say something at this point, but he remained silent. “We’ve done a great job in managing our relationship and raising our children together.” At this point, she settled back down into Tommy’s arm and draped her leg over his in her familiar position. When he didn’t push her away, she continued. “I’m not stupid. I understand that this will hurt you, but you have to know how much I love you. I know that we can manage this together.” She paused, expecting him to interrupt, but once again, he did not.
Beverly was slightly put off, but felt emboldened, at the same time. This needed to be a two-way conversation. “Tommy, love, give me your thoughts? I promise I won’t do this without your understanding. We are just talking at this point.”
Tommy wasn’t about to be sucked in though. He couldn’t think of anything to say anyway that didn’t make him seem like a victim or even worse, a petulant child. Not until she fully explained herself. “Honestly, Bev, your reasoning seems pretty shallow so far, please continue.” He spoke curtly.
“I assure you, honey, it isn’t about you, or even a physical need. It’s purely a self-absorbed emotional indulgence on my part.” There was another pause from her, and further silence from him. “I guess it comes down to not wanting to leave anything on the table…Oh crap, I’m not explaining myself right.”
She sighed and held him tighter. She even began to shed genuine tears. This was something in her mind that she badly needed to validate her self-worth as a woman. At the same time, she knew it would hurt Tommy tremendously, and she loved him mightily. Maybe she should just forget the whole thing. Even to her, it sounded juvenile at this point. “I know I’m hurting you tremendously, Tommy, and I really don’t mean to.” Her tears were freely falling onto his chest.
“You know, I think I do understand your position, Beverly. I wish you could give me more, but, I suppose, it isn’t really necessary right now. Maybe sometime in the future, after you have thought more about it, we can talk further. You’re too thoughtful a person to not have considered the consequences…”
Bev heard something different in his voice. She wasn’t sure what it was. Resignation maybe? “I swear, Tommy, it kills me to hurt you like this, but I trust you understand that I don’t mean to. And know that I will make it up to you.”
You’ve given me an awful lot to process, Bev. I’m going to sleep now, suddenly I feel very tired….”
But, Tommy, I thought maybe we could…”
“Not tonight, Bev.” Those were words neither of them had ever spoken before. He rolled away from her.
“I’m sorry, Tommy.” She whispered. Her tears were increasing in intensity. She truly loved him, and she knew she had injured him. Bev was a little surprised that he hadn’t put up more of a fight, or at least shown more emotion? She kissed his cheek tenderly and lay back with a sigh.
Beverly was very happy that their talk had gone this well, but was she missing something? She loved Tommy with all her heart. She was already thinking of ways she could demonstrate her love consistently to him as her journey unfolded. His understanding made all the difference in the world to her. Wait a minute, what was it he said about consequences? Reality was slowly edging its way back into her consciousness.
“Uhh, Tommy, what were you referring to when you spoke of consequences? I said I was aware of the hurt I was causing…”
“We’ll talk more in the morning, Beverly, goodnight.”
Beverly tossed and turned incessantly. She hardly slept at all. Overnight, her mindset changed dramatically. A while ago, she had been so clear and sure of herself, now she was riddled with doubt. Something was terribly off here. She could clearly hear the slow rhythmic breathing coming from Tommy. He appeared to have quickly fallen into a deep and restful slumber. If he was hurting so badly, how could he do that? Men are such strange creatures.
Eventually, she dropped into a troubled sleep. She awoke with a start and quickly snapped upright when she realized Tommy wasn’t beside her. She looked at the clock on her nightstand. It showed six-thirty. Tommy should be downstairs putting the coffee on. When the cobwebs cleared from her head, she could hear him moving noisily around the kitchen. She let out an audible sigh of relief and fell back onto her pillow, deep in thought for a few minutes.
Bev knew what she had to do. She jumped up, threw on a robe, and raced down to the kitchen. She started to tie the robe because she was still nude underneath it but thought better of it. She needed to do some serious ass-kissing here. Her being naked couldn’t hurt her efforts.
“Tommy honey, good morning!” She called out brightly. “Please forgive me for my insanity from last night. Can we just chalk it up to the incoherent ramblings of a middle-aged housewife, who is terrified of her coming old age?” She continued to walk towards him. She tentatively reached out for him. He allowed the embrace. Bev’s bathrobe fell open as she had hoped it would. She thought she still looked pretty good, for an old broad. Thomas hugged her back and allowed his eyes to inspect her full-breasted and lush body. She smiled knowingly.
However, Bev noticed something was missing. His embrace felt different. Even distant, perhaps? She had her work cut out for her, but she wouldn’t be deterred. She had to make this right to the man she loved more than life itself. Her Tommy quickly and silently turned back to his task for the two of them as was his daily responsibility.
Bev looked quizzically at her husband for a moment. She reminded him. “I mean it Tommy. Forget everything I said last night. Really, honey, it was just silliness on my part.”
Thomas remained silent with his back to the now-seated Beverly. Bev made sure her robe was wide open when she had seated herself. Tommy was still uncommunicative. When the coffee finally finished its brew cycle, he carefully poured two mugs. His black, and hers with one teaspoon of sugar. Just like always. He carefully turned. He paused briefly when he saw Bev’s nakedness, but his face remained a blank mask. He sat slowly and gingerly slid her coffee towards her.
“It’s not that easy, Bev. How am I supposed to just forget what you said? Besides, as I told you last night, you must have been thinking about this for months before you approached me. Knowing you, you even talked it over with a couple of your friends before telling me.” Beverly blushed and put her head down, suddenly fascinated by the contents of her mug.
“No, Bev. I’m going to have to think a lot more about this. Your nakedness and an apology aren’t going to make my pain go away.”
Bev was shocked. She reflexively pulled her robe closed with a clenched fist. “What’s to think about? I said I’m sorry!” Her surprise at his comment made her retort come out much harsher than she meant it to. She suddenly realized how despondent Tommy looked.
Thomas stood up. “I’m going to work, Bev.”
“Tommy, it’s Sunday. Y-y-you aren’t serious?” A cold soul piercing chill washed over her. “Tommy, please?”
But he was already out the door. Bev slammed her palm on the table sending her coffee flying from the upended mug which clattered to the floor, shattering on impact. You stupid, stupid woman. What Have you done? Beverly put her head down onto her crossed arms and sobbed pathetically.
He didn’t come back home until very late. Beverly was in bed feigning sleep. She heard him moving around. She was hoping against hope that he would soon crawl into bed. But he never came to their bedroom. She heard him go into the spare bedroom of their five-bedroom home. She couldn’t stop weeping.
They tiptoed around with each other for the next several days. Every time she tried to bring the elephant in the room up for discussion, Tommy just got up and walked away. “Not now, Bev.” That would be his only response.
When Beverly got home Friday from work, she saw Tommy’s car was already in the garage. She hoped it was a good sign. It wasn’t.
Bev was hopeful as she stepped inside. She immediately saw a morose Tommy sitting at the kitchen table. He looked up at her with dead eyes and passed the envelope that lay in front of him, towards her. He couldn’t even look her in the eyes. She looked down at the envelope, then at Tom, then back and forth between them several times in disbelief.
She went from a paralyzed state of shock to outrage, in about three seconds. “No fucking way! We are not getting divorced. Are you insane? You’re going to divorce me? Twenty years down the drain because I had one moment of lunacy. It’s never going to happen, mister!” She scattered the papers across the floor with one vicious swipe of her hand and stomped angrily off to the bedroom. “I have never once cheated on you, Thomas Ventura!”
Tom remained impassive. His face was an unreadable blank slate. He did jump a little when Bev slammed the bedroom door closed. He quietly rose from his chair. He picked up his suitcase that he had already packed and soundlessly traipsed from his home for what he felt would be the last time.
He had only driven two blocks towards the motel room he had rented when his cell phone went off through Bluetooth. He answered without thinking.
“You God damned coward! You fucking piece of shit. Listen to my words, Tommy.” screamed a hysterical Beverly. “WE…ARE…NOT…getting divorced. I will never grant it. I will fight it with every penny we have. We will both end up broke and, on the street, before I give you one. You are a fucking coward!” Her screeching, in between her wailing, and sobbing, went on like that for several minutes.
Tommy kept driving. He patiently waited for Beverly to wind herself down. He knew she was getting close when she started with her hiccups that would often happen when she was under extreme emotional stress. Finally, there was silence for a couple of moments. She made a last despondent utterance. Her voice was almost a whispered plea, filled with sorrow. “Tommy, you love me. I know you do.”
He knew that he would love her to some extent forever, but he sighed before responding. “Bev, our marriage ended the moment you told me you wanted to have sex with other men.” Without waiting for a response, he disconnected the call.
The subsequent meeting, or more accurately put, the attempted intervention a few weeks later by his children, didn’t nearly convince him to stay married to their mother. However, they at least got him to agree to see a marriage counselor. He capitulated, if for no other reason than to keep them from stalking and harassing him. He bargained with them. He would go, but they were never again to make any attempts at butting into their parents’ relationship. If they did, their bond with him would be permanently damaged.
Thomas and Beverly agreed to meet with Dr. Tennille Adams, a Doctor of Psychology and licensed family therapist who was on the family court’s approved list. Dr. Adams was dressed professionally and was a bit formal in appearance and manner. At their first session, she set the schedule and ground rules efficiently.
Dr. Adams noted that during their first few sessions together, Beverly showed her emotions and expressed genuine regret as to the current state of their marriage. She also assumed responsibility for her role in its deterioration. She did plead her case that Tommy was being stubborn and unreasonable. It was only a single conversation. She stated unequivocally that she had never cheated and had never even done anything that wouldn’t pass the ‘husband test.’
On the other hand, she found Thomas much harder to understand. He appeared to be paying attention but seemed listless and distant. When Beverly spoke, he concentrated on what was being said. It was almost as if he was searching for something in particular. But, Tom never asked questions during the sessions. It seemed peculiar to Dr. Adams.
Early on during their fourth session, and after Beverly once again apologized profusely and stated her sincere desire to fix what she had done so they could move on, Thomas unexpectedly interrupted.
“You’re wrong, Bev, you can’t fix it. You can’t fix it because it’s not all your fault.” That caught both Bev and Dr. Adams by surprise. “It’s as much my fault…Oh, I admit that when you first brought it up, I was furious. Angrier than I ever remembered being. I guess I was in shock. It took me several days to get over what you had done to me. I guess, doctor, you would refer to it as my fragile male ego striking out without rational thought. That’s why I was so distant during that period. Once my initial rage subsided, I needed to think things through.” Both Bev and Dr. Adams looked confused.
“Don’t be mistaken, I was hurt by your request, but not for the reason you are probably thinking. I was outraged because you had the courage to do what I had not. I wasn’t annoyed with you. I was infuriated with myself.”
“Tommy, whatever are you talking…”
Dr. Adams jumped in at that point. “Yes, Thomas, you have to clarify that. Why were you so upset at yourself?” She had an onerous feeling that she already knew the answer, but it needed to be said, in any case. Dr. Adams didn’t like to call herself a marriage or family counselor. She was a relationship advisor. She couldn’t advise if she didn’t know the root problem. She was almost certain she was about to learn that answer.
Tommy looked over at his soon-to-be ex with a sense of very real compassion. He hoped that when this nightmare was over, they could maintain a friendly relationship. He was conflicted. If he told the truth, that might not be possible any longer. “Because, Bev, I felt the same way.”
He closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. When he reopened them, he looked straight into Bev’s eyes. “I just didn’t have the nerve to say the words, like you did. I knew something had been missing from our lives for some time. Maybe it was the kids leaving. Or, maybe it was just that we spent so much time focusing on careers and raising our family, that we lost each other. It’s difficult for me to articulate. I think maybe I just felt numb most of the time. But I didn’t know why?”
Bev audibly caught her breath in recognition. She involuntarily nodded her head in assent.
“Oh, I wasn’t necessarily looking to have sex with other women. But then it hit me that your desire to have sex with others wasn’t really a selfish abstract whim. You were searching for the intimacy we used to share. It was a revelation to me. It…ah…made things clearer to me in my own situation. If any of that makes sense? It was more about you trying to find something we had lost a long time ago. I guess trying to rekindle a spark as it were. We were very good together at one point, before the kids became our focus, you know.” They both smiled in fond remembrance of a time gone by.
“I had surrendered myself to living the quiet drab routine that our marriage had become. I felt I owed you that. You were so good to me, such a great mother to our children. I guess I believed that was as good as my life was going to be. I felt like, that…well, I thought out of loyalty, I would stay.
“When you uttered those words to me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. After consideration I realized you felt the same way I did. That’s when I made the decision…”
“But, Tommy, you never said anything…”
“That’s because I’m not as brave as you. Up until that moment anyway. You forced me to take a good long hard look at myself, as well as our marriage.”
“I’m not sure I agree with you…”
“Well, Bev, if you want to fight about it, would you like to strip naked and hold each other like we used to when we argued? Dr. Adams here seems like an Avant Garde and creative counselor, but even she might have a problem with that.” Thomas had a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. Dr. Adams remained impassive.
“Tell me this, Bev, what is the one word you would use to describe our marriage?”
“Well, I would, I mean, I would have to think…”
“No, you wouldn’t. You already know the answer. We’ve both said it many times when we were asked about it.”
They said it together with a sense of realization and sadness. “Comfortable.” They were silent for a few minutes. That was the moment that Beverly recognized her marriage was truly over. And, it had been for some time. Love really didn’t matter any longer. The saying that love conquers all was complete bullshit. It made for good lines in movies, on greeting cards, and in trashy romance novels, but that was all. The daily trials and tribulations of real life, month after month, year after year, decade after decade, trumped the ideal of love. It didn’t mean love wasn’t there. The daily difficulties and miseries of real life made it irrelevant.
“But, Tommy, our marriage wasn’t a mistake. The sex was still good. It wasn’t like when we first met, but it was still good. It’s not like we hated each other.”
“No, it wasn’t a mistake, but that didn’t mean we should stay married. And, yes, the sex was good. But we hadn’t made love in years, Bev. You know that’s true. Beverly started to jump in, so Tommy held up his hand. “I’m not attacking you, Bev. I told you I understood. And, I meant it. Let’s quit fighting while we are still fond of each other. Let’s start looking for something new and exciting. It’s long past time, Bev…”
Dr. Adams interrupted at that point. “Out of a professional curiosity, Thomas, if you felt that way, why didn’t you simply agree with Beverly’s proposition? Maybe you could have agreed to open up your marriage to others? She gave you plenty of opportunities to amend her proposal.”
“What would have been the point, Doctor? Besides, you would know much more about the success rate of so-called ‘open’ marriages than I do?” The doctor gave him a look of satisfaction that a teacher would give a star pupil after having solved a difficult problem. “As I saw it, our marriage was over. It was done. Screwing around with other people, going on dates, all that crap, would just delay the inevitable.” He paused to collect his thoughts. “And, doing something like that might make us end up hating each other in the end.” He replied with distaste. “I thought it better to cut the cord, end it right away…”
“Yes, Thomas, I do know.” The Doctor butted in again. “You’re right, it is a very poor strategy to try to save a troubled relationship. But I believe Beverly’s point is, that you never discussed it together. To her, it feels like you just quit on your marriage without a fight at all.” She paused thoughtfully, waiting for his response.
“I thought about that…I think I was worried that if I shared my thoughts…well, maybe Bev would have tried to stay, like I had, out of a sense of duty to me. She was already backtracking her desire for change a few minutes after having the courage to speak her mind. It took a lot of guts to do that in the first place. If that had happened, we would have been back where we were. We’d probably have insidiously grown to hate each other over time. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of sessions with older married couples, who for no real reason are angry with each other all the time.” There was another nod of understanding from the doctor.
“Think about it for a minute, Bev. Over the past few years, we haven’t really done anything together. Just the two of us, like we used to before kids. We come home from work, tired. We eat a mostly silent meal together. We don’t talk about anything of consequence. It’s the usual, ‘how was work?’ Or, what might be happening in the children. When we’re done, we go into separate rooms to do individual things. We have different friends, interests, and hobbies. There really is no us anymore.
“From my perspective, I didn’t want to become one of those old men who sit around coffee shops all day, because they couldn’t stand to be at home with their wife. I’ve seen and heard them before. All they do is bitch and moan about their life, their wife, and how the world has gone to shit. They routinely criticize those whose lives are different, because they think everyone has to be as miserable as they are. In reality, all they are doing is sitting around waiting to die.” Tom became embarrassed at his language, but the doctor just smiled at him, so he continued. “We both deserved better, Bev. For that matter so do our children.
“I Know I definitely could have, and should have, handled your cry for help more appropriately, but ripping the band-aid off the open sore, seemed the way to go at the time.”
Their amicable divorce was finalized nine months later. They agreed that Beverly would stay in the house with the children until they finished college. Then they would split the proceeds from its sale fifty-fifty just as they had everything else.
When Thomas received the final decree in the mail, he drove from his tiny apartment near work, to his old house. As expected, he found a somber Beverly surrounded by their children sitting morosely in their living room. She had obviously been crying. All four sets of eyes turned to him as he walked through the front door.
“I’m sorry. I should have knocked, I suppose?” He pointed with his thumb back towards the door. “That’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Tommy. It’s still your house too.” Beverly waved her hand to dismiss his thought.
“So, you got your copy too.” Tommy quietly stated the obvious. Bev silently nodded. “I just..ahh, I mean, I wanted to make sure you were all right, you know?”
She nodded again and started to softly cry. “Tommy, I wasn’t crying because I thought what we were doing was the wrong thing. I was crying over what we had lost many years ago. And, I was thinking about things we might have done differently to avoid it.”
He smiled thinly. “I understand, Bev. I’ve been having the same kind of thoughts.”
“We were just talking about dinner. Why don’t you stay and share it with us?” Bev sniffled. “We can all be miserable together.”
He acquiesced. What the hell, he didn’t have anything else to do. It became a regular family Wednesday night occurrence for the next few months. If any of them recognized the irony that they had never made a point of doing this before, no one mentioned it.
Over time, Tom was back home doing various gardening and household chores a couple of days a week, just like he always had. Pretty soon, Bev was doing his laundry for him, just like always. She even did grocery shopping to keep his refrigerator and pantry full of something besides beer and Cup of Noodles.
For the most part the Wednesday night dinners were filled with lighthearted and routine talk of what was happening in the kids’ lives. As time went on though, Tom and Bev tried to spend a little quiet time together after dinner when their children were doing homework or other projects.
On one of these evenings, Beverly had noticed that Tom was a little quiet. And their routine of doing the dishes was mostly silent that night. She asked gently. “Everything okay with you, Tommy?”
He gave a little sigh, shut off the tap water, and turned to face her as he dried his hands with a towel and leaned back against the counter. “I’m not really big on looking backwards, Bev, but yesterday I was thinking that I never really gave you a chance to tell me, ‘Why.’ Not even during our counseling. Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore, but it’s been bothering me.” He scrunched his face up. “Actually, that’s not really right. It’s not the why so much, it’s, the, ‘what.’ What did you think would happen when you confronted me with your, need, I guess is what to call it.”
“Whoa, Tommy, there’s a lot there…”
“You don’t have to tell me.” He quickly intruded. I mean, you don’t owe me or anything.”
“No, I want to tell you, Tommy. I do owe it to you, I suppose.” She had to think for a moment before continuing. “I never told you, but I saw Dr. Adams a few more times alone, after we agreed to proceed with the divorce. We talked about it a lot, and some of it isn’t really clear to me, even to this day. But, I can tell you one thing for certain, I didn’t expect what went down, that’s for sure.”
They both got a good laugh at that. “However, as time went by, and especially during the counseling, I gradually came to realize that your solution really was the best for all of us. The kids included.”
Bev studied Tom’s facial expression carefully. “Please don’t get angry. I will tell you the truth, but some of it might hurt?”
“I know, but I really need to understand, if for no other reason than my own peace of mind.”
“Okay. First of all, you were right. I had been thinking about it for a long time. Almost a year, if you can believe it. Also, I was being honest when I told you it was a discussion. I wasn’t trying to ram anything down your throat. I never would have done it if you said no. It sounds trite and self-serving now, I know, but it’s true, nonetheless.
“I figured there were three outcomes that could result from my bringing it up. But, I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that a part of me thought and hoped you would let me do it.” Tom immediately got a shocked look on his face.
“I know, Tommy, I know.” She held her palms up to him so he wouldn’t interrupt her flow. But, at the time, I thought I might be able to convince you that it wouldn’t interfere with us. It wasn’t until much later in talking with Dr. Adams that she convinced me that only two things could have happened if you had agreed. And in both cases our marriage would have been over anyway. One scenario was me, losing respect for you for allowing it, and the second, was you losing all respect for me, for doing it. In either case, we would end up divorced.” Beverly was becoming emotional at this point.
“Of course, when I came up with the plan, the second outcome, and the one I was really hoping would happen, would’ve been you yelling and screaming at me. Then ultimately it would wind up with us in counseling where we would work things out and salvage our marriage. When you didn’t do that, you really threw me for a loop. That’s when I lost control of the argument, and why I flipped out on you when you handed me the papers.” She became quiet for a long time.
“And the third, outcome?” He barely whispered it to her.
Bev gave a bitter acidic laugh. “I thought, well, I thought the worst case was we would end up in a kind of an open marriage. Dr. Adams quoted me some statistics on that. Suffice to say, our marriage would have been over had any of my three outcomes come true. I guess a marriage is really over, when one party thinks their selfish need is the most important part of the relationship, isn’t it? In the end you were right. Our marriage ended as soon as the words came out of my mouth.”
She started to softly cry. Tom held her in his arms and let her get it out. “Listen, Bev. I don’t blame you for ending our marriage. That took both of us. You may have lit the fuse, but, sooner or later, it was going to happen anyway.” He thanked her and quietly excused himself. On his ride home, he wasn’t quite sure if he felt vindicated, or like a heel for having put Beverly through that.
In any case, the Wednesday night family dinners continued. If Tom and Bev noticed, they never acknowledged it, but it became a running joke with Perris, Franklin, and Tracey that their parents acted more like they were married after they got divorced.
From that point onward though, Beverly and Tom never discussed the past again. Instead, they focused on what was going on in each other’s lives.
Invariably the conversation would focus on their personal experiences. When asked, Tommy reluctantly told Bev of a couple of dates he went on that were disasters. He told her it was really making him gun-shy.
His first attempt was a blind date that a couple of friends at work had fixed him up with. She was a very pleasant woman. However, she told him right up front that she was looking for a man to marry her and help raise her three teenagers. She made marriage sound like a business transaction. It was an inauspicious start to his single life.
His second attempt at a date was with a recent divorcee like him, and she grilled him as if she was a prosecutor in a murder trial. Tommy was sure the woman thought him a criminal. There was no second date for that one, either. After that, Tommy said he was going to hold off for a bit before he tried dating anymore.
Beverly hadn’t gone on any real dates, but she had coffee with a couple of guys from work. She tried the girls’ night out thing a few times, but she told Tommy that she found it depressing. Her girlfriends, some single, married, and/or divorced, dragged her with them to known pickup places.
To Beverly, it seemed as if everyone there was too desperate. It was like they were trying so hard to have a good time, it seemed cynical. She found it very disturbing. The third time she went out with the girls, two of the married women started making out with guys in the bar. One of them, a coworker, actually left with one of the lounge lizards. Beverly was shocked.
The other married girl in a make-out session, Tammi, noticed Bev’s look of disapproval and commented. “Relax, Ms. Goody Two-Shoes. What our husbands don’t know won’t hurt them. Besides, we deserve a break from living in our mind-numbing boring wife and mother worlds now and then.”
Without thinking, Bev snapped back at her. “I could never do something like that to my husband…”
“Yeah, and look what it got you! How stupid could you be? Telling your husband, you were going to cheat. What in the hell were you thinking?”
That was the point in the telling of her story to Tommy that she broke down. He went to her and hugged her to try and console her. “Bev, listen to me, from my perspective, you did the right thing. Neither one of us liked who we were becoming. Frankly, I think we get along better now that we’re divorced. There’s no law written down anywhere that says you have to wait until you hate each other before you go your separate ways.”
The following Wednesday night dinner, just as Tommy was coming into the house, his three children came thundering towards him. They squeezed him against the jamb as they rushed by him. They were snickering and shouting their goodbyes as they flew by. “What the hell…” was all he got out before he heard Bev calling him from the dining room. The last thing he heard from his kids was a laughing Franklin, telling him not to get hurt.
He headed to the dining area, shaking his head in confusion. The house was filled with the heavenly aroma of his favorite meal, Meatloaf. He inhaled a deep breath through his nose to savor the smell. As soon as he did, he realized how hungry he was.
“Hey, Bev…what the…” There stood his ex-wife, naked as the day she was born. Well, except for the three-inch black CFMs and the matching fishnet thigh-high stockings clinging to her creamy thighs. Her lips were painted ruby red identical to her nails. She had a single red carnation in her hair. The crowning touch was a simple choker of pearls around her neck. Tommy did a double take as he leaned forward to get a better look. Neatly stenciled in cursive black ink script was ‘Tommy’s’ across Bev’s freshly waxed smooth alabaster mons. Is that permanent? Thought a truly stunned ex-husband.
Beverly stood posing, one hand on her hip and the other holding the delicious-smelling meatloaf shoulder high. Behind her, was a formal candle-lit dinner setting. White tablecloth, red roses in a crystal vase, and all. He froze, his eyes bugging out of his head. Tommy’s mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. He felt a stirring where there hadn’t been one in quite a while.
“Don’t be scared, Tommy. I’m not talking about ’till death do us part’ or anything. I just vowed to myself that I was going to be your, ‘something new and exciting,’ or die trying.” Bev purred in a throaty, lust-filled voice. “Maybe if, I’d done something like this a long time ago, we wouldn’t be where we are today?”
“There’s no point in looking backwards, Bev. Are we going to eat that meatloaf, or are you just going to stand there holding it?” Smooth, Tom, really smooth! “You know, on second thought, we could always reheat it later.” He practically sprinted towards her.
Just before Tom and Bev’s three children clambered into their car, they heard their mother squealing and laughing like a teenager. They stopped and turned back to stare, dumbstruck at what was about to take place in the only home they had ever lived in.
Standing there in shock, Franklin thought to himself, If I live to be a hundred, I will never be able to unsee my mother looking like that. I’ll probably be in therapy for years. “Perris, you’re the brains of this outfit.” He quipped. “How many sets of parents do you think are on this planet?” He shared questioningly.
“I don’t know, Arvin. Let’s see, there are about eight billion people on earth. Soooo, what, maybe more than a half-billion?”
Franklin and Tracey were nodding their heads thoughtfully. “That is, a big number! What were the odds that we’d wind up with the weirdest in the whole world?” said an obviously confused Tracey.
“Staggers the imagination, doesn’t it?” Perris laughed.
Just then, all three heard their loving, doting, angelic mother scream from inside the house. “Oh my god, Tommy! Yesssss, that’s soooo fucking good!”
Yep, therapy is definitely in my future. Franklin shook his head and wondered if he would ever be normal again.
“Do you think they’ll get remarried?” Questioned Tracy.
Perris responded thoughtfully. “I doubt it. They’re having too much fun to chance ruining it.” She clapped her hands together loudly two times to get her younger siblings’ attention. “All right, let’s go get some pizza and try to forget we ever saw or heard any of this!”
THE END