*****
So here’s my story. The ad in the paper had seemed innocent enough…
WANTED: Part-time lab assistant for product testing centre. Must be trustworthy and good at following directions. Call for details.
It was followed by a local phone number.
Since I was “between jobs,” and had been for some time, I decided to call and find out more. Surprisingly they didn’t want to know much about me; after only a brief conversation I was invited to come to their offices and talk to the personnel department.
The office in question was in one of a multitude of seemingly interchangeable small office buildings located in one of those commercial districts downtown. You know the kind; they’re those specialized businesses that don’t count on walk-in customers, and from the outside it’s impossible to tell what they are. After all, if you needed the good or service they provided chances are you already know where you were going. Unfortunately, I had no idea where I was going, so I spent a good half hour trying to find the right one. But I braved the heat, and eventually I did find the right building and gratefully stepped into the air-conditioned reception room where I received my first thrill of the day. The receptionist behind the desk was an absolute stunner. Pale skin, black hair, and, from what I could see from the wrong side of her chest-high desk, a terrific figure. She was small and busty, a combination that had always stopped me in my tracks. As I entered she smiled prettily and said “Can I help you?”
I introduced myself, adding, “I called about the ad in the paper and they told me to come here.”
“Of course, we’ve been expecting you. Come this way.” She stood to lead me out of the room. Now that I think about it, I don’t really remember much about what the hallway looked like, since I was pretty intent on following her. There’s something about a tight skirt over a shapely behind that tends to hold my attention. All too quickly we were at out destination, though, and I managed to avert my gaze just in time. She turned to face me as she opened a door and waved me inside.
As soon as had I stepped into the room she closed the door behind me abruptly, making me jump. I didn’t get a chance to miss her, though, as my attention was quickly drawn to room’s sole occupant.
“Hello there, come, sit down.” Sitting behind a long, wide desk was an absolute goddess, of the Nordic persuasion, in lab coat and glasses. She was every bit the stereotypical Scandinavian beauty with crystal blue eyes, short hair so blonde it was almost white, and smooth flawless skin. It was hard to judge her height while she was seated, but she looked as though she might be at least six feet tall. Her build was surprisingly slender for a woman of her size, but nevertheless she was the owner of a very large pair of firm and shapely-looking breasts that strained against the white fabric of her coat.
“I’m Ana, Dr. Smedley’s assistant,” she continued. Actually, there was only a moment between the two statements, so I’m sorry if my descriptions made it seem longer. I just felt her appearance deserved a bit of extra attention to detail. I sat down and introduced myself, and did my best to look attentive without staring.
“As you know from our ad, we conduct product testing here. Basically, we test appliances to determine factors such as their durability and effectiveness. It’s all very straightforward, but there is one important bit of paperwork we need to get out of the way before you can get started. A lot of the appliances we work on here are pre-release, so we’ll require you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not clear on what my job here will be exactly.”
“Sorry, I thought you’d been told. It’s simple really. Basically you’re just going to assist Dr. Smedley during the tests. You take notes, measurements, whatever he needs you to do. He’ll probably need you to make some observations too, as an objective witness.”
“That doesn’t sound too difficult. May I ask what I’ll be earning?”
“You’ll be getting $50 a test. The lengths of the tests vary, depending on the appliance in question, but it’s safe to say you’ll be able to fit in at least three a day.”
“Seriously? That’s terrific!”
“I’m glad you think so. All you have to do is sign here.”
I glanced over the document and it all seemed to be in order, so I happily signed. Of course, I may have been a bit distracted. To be perfectly honest, she could have put nearly anything in front of me at that point and I’d have signed it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sign away my house or soul or anything, but you never know. It was the way she leaned forward to offer the papers to me, causing her lab coat to gape open slightly. Not much, but enough for me to get a tantalizing glimpse at her cleavage.
“Now if you’ll just follow me,” she said, standing up and, sadly, taking the view with her. I was right, though, she was at least a good six feet tall. No, make that a great six feet tall.
“Anywhere,” I said distractedly.
“Pardon?”
“Um…lead the way, please.”
At that she turned and led me back to the tiny hallway, which she quite nearly filled from top to bottom, and took me to the room across the way. This was the testing area, an L-shaped shaped room with uniformly white walls and floors. A door in the long leg of the “L” presumably led to a space on the far side, while the short leg was a glass partition dividing the space from the rest of the room. A desk took up the space in front of the partition, while the cluttered space on the far side was dominated by a large object concealed beneath a cloth. The desk, which was bare except for a small box that seemed to be bolted down, was furnished with two simple chairs, the nearer of which was occupied by a goofy-looking man in his early thirties. He was engrossed in some paperwork. I’ll just leave his description at that, since I doubt any of you are any more interested in him than I was.
“Dr. Smedley, this is your new research assistant,” Ana said as she led me to the room.
“Hello Doctor,” I said, stepping forward and putting out a friendly hand to shake.
“Yes, yes, take your seat.” He said distractedly, placing a clipboard into the proffered hand. I took it and did as he said, sitting in front the small box. “We’re going to start with a simple experiment. I’ll be making observations throughout the test but I’ll need to be able to focus on several things at once, so what I need you to do is write them down for me.”
“Sure, that sounds easy enough.”
Just about then, Ana had stepped into the room on the far side of the partition. She quickly strode to stand between me and the mysterious object and pulled of its cover. Then she turned to leave, allowing me my first unobstructed view of the ‘product’ to be tested. I stared dumbly at the strange, saddle-like contraption she had revealed. As much as I tried to direct it elsewhere, my gaze kept being drawn to the brilliant pink rubber cock protruding from the top.
“We’ll be testing product number SYB1148, trade name “Baloney Pony”…hey, are you getting this?” Dr. Smedley turned to me curiously.
“Lord I hope not!” I said, never taking my eyes from the contraption.
“Pardon?”
“Sorry, doctor. Yes, I’m writing it down. Um…is that what I think it is?”
“We test a variety of products here, ranging from gardening tools to kitchen appliances, but one of our most lucrative contracts is with a company that produces adult novelties.”
“Right, just checking. So…how will we be testing it?”
“Well, we perform a variety of tests at this facility. In some cases we check the durability and responses to various stresses. In this case we’re testing the effectiveness of the product.”
“Effectiveness? You mean how well it works?”
“Precisely,” he said as the door opened, admitting Ana and another young woman in a lab coat. The new girl was a beautiful young Latina with dark hair, eyes, and skin. Small and slight, she was the opposite of Ana in every way. In every way except for the fact that they were both breath-takingly gorgeous, that is. “Ah, Val, come in. We were just talking about you.”
“Why Doctor, is this your new assistant? He’s cute!” She cast her appraising glance over toward me as Ana led her into the smaller room and the contraption within.
“Now, don’t tease him Val, I’m sure he’s nervous enough as it is,” said Ana, giving me a wink.
“Actually, I don’t think I know enough about what’s going on to be nervous. Should I be?” I asked curiously.
“You tell me,” said Val as she shrugged off the lab coat, letting it fall to her feet. She wore nothing underneath. My eyes, which had automatically followed her coat to the floor, began slowly working their way back up her body. Her skin was the same lovely shade from head to toe, soft and smooth without a tan-line or blemish. I followed her sexy legs up to the tangle of black hair between them, pausing briefly before following the curve of her stomach up to her firm, proud breasts. Again I paused, taking in their smooth, rounded shape and the dark nipples that topped them. Despite the warmth of the room, they seemed to be stiffening slightly. Then my gaze continued up to Val’s face and I found her big brown eyes looking straight into mine. The challenge in them, along with her thoughtful half-smile, made me wonder if it wasn’t something other than a chill making her nipples tighten.
Meanwhile, Ana had been busily attending to various chores in the smaller room. She picked up Val’s lab coat and hung it from a hook on the wall, then began bustling about some boxy, wire-encrusted machines in the back corner. As Val stood there, nude and unashamed, Ana began attaching a few of the wires to various places on her body.
The doctor leaned over to me and said, “Those machines will be doing most of the work, recording data such as heart rate and respiration, as well as skin conductivity. Our job is just to make a variety of subjective observations about what we perceive the machine’s effects to be. Oh, and to control the machine, of course,” He nodded, indicating the knob at my left hand.