It was one of those cool, rainy, fall afternoons. I had just finished work for the day. I was rushing across the asphalt towards my car in a downpour, holding my brown leather handbag over my head. Not a good day to forget my umbrella. Balancing my bag with one hand above my head, trying to keep dry as possible. While fumbling in my pocket, trying to locate my car keys with the other. Looking down at the water splashing onto my pant legs as I approached my car. Pushing my key fob, I came to an abrupt stop, I did not even see her standing there. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see you standing……”
A look of utter surprise of my face, I could not believe my wife was standing before me. I was shocked to see her, we had not seen each other in months.I had no idea how she located me, nor did I care. I skirted around her, open the car door and jumped inside. She had been there a while, Hannah, was soaked through. Placing my foot on the brake, started the car and put the car in gear.
Then just sat there staring straight ahead, I turned my head and looked out my driver’s window. She just stood there looking at the ground, rain dripping off the ends of her long blonde hair. Her makeup streaking down her face. If it was not raining so hard I would have swore she was crying, her shoulders shaking up and down she must be cold. Staring straight ahead again… No she was crying. F**k, slamming the car up in the park, I moved my bag from the passenger floor to the backseat. Cracking the window open enough to yell out. “GET IN.”
She slowly walked around the front of the car, not once lifting her eyes from the ground. She opened the passenger door and got in, we both sat there momentarily silent. Her shoulders continue to shake and I could hear her softly weeping. listening to the wipers slapping away the rain, windows fogging up. I struggled to get my suit jacket off in the tight confinement of the car, then placed it over her. It was not much, but it was something to warm her up.
I heard her whisper. “Thank you.”
“What do you want Hannah? How did you find me?” She sat there for a moment sniffling to herself.
“I want you Daniel,” she quietly chirped. “It was not easy to find you, you know.”
After another long silent pause, she brushed her long damp hair out of her eye and put it behind one ear and looked at me. “Your Dad, I wore him down and he gave me a tip, the town where you work. I assumed you took a job in the same field, so I started calling financial planning businesses. On the third call I hit pay dirt, they told me that you work there. I found your car in the lot and, and wwaited.”
She sat there shivering so I turned up the heat, the windows began to clear. “Yeah my dad always did have a soft spot for you, I guess… I can not beat him up too bad it took him months for you to wear him down.” She watched me put on my seat belt and put hers on. I put the car back in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. “Where are you staying, Hannah, I will drop you off?”
“I, I, never thought that far ahead. When I finally found out where you were, I rushed right to your work. I know it is a long weekend and if I did not get here before you left work, I would not see you for three days! I took a cab right from the train station. I have got nothing, but the clothes in my back and my purse.”
I pulled the car over and turned and stared at her, Hannah looked back but would not look me in the eye, looking scared. I did not even know how to respond to what she just said to me, so I just straightened up in my seat and drove on. The first motel I passed said (No Vacancy) so I proceeded on towards home. I know there is another one on the outskirts of town. We drove on in silence, a short while later I pulled into the parking lot of the motel. Shutting the car off, removing my belt I looked over at her. She had a sad look on her face, Hannah held out my jacket towards me. “Keep it I will be right back.” I got out and dashed though the rain towards the front office.
“How are you my friend, have you got any rooms for rent?”
The old man sitting behind the counter looked up from his newspaper. “I wish I could help you, it’s a long weekend don’t you know Son! You’re not going to find accommodations anywhere.”
“Damn it” I muttered to myself. “Sell me one of those toothbrushes you have their behind you please.” I ran back to the car jumped inside, Hannah had a worried look on her face. “Here I bought you a toothbrush.” She smiled at me.
I had a place on the outskirts of town, it was about a fifty minute drive. A bit of a hike to work, but the traffic is in the opposite direction on my commute. It is a stone and log cabin, set back in the trees very tranquil. As I turned off the main road and started weaving through the trees, the cottage came into sight.
Hannah looked over at me and said, “Where are we?”
“This is where I live now, Hannah.”
HANNAH
“It’s beautiful Daniel” The rain had finally slowed down to his light drizzle, as we got out of the car. I took a deep breath in through my nostrils, so fresh, so clean, so alive. There was still a chill in the air and I was soaked through. I put the toothbrush in my purse on my shoulder then turn the jacket around that Daniel had given me and put it over my shoulders. I watched him as he got his leather bag out of the back seat and then proceeded to the front door, me in toe on his heels. As soon as we step through the door, I handed Daniel back his jacket and thanked him. He took off his shoes as soon as he came in the door so I kicked off my heels.
As beautiful as the cottage appeared to be from the outside it was just as amazing on the inside. On the one side was a large stone fireplace, open concept with large cathedral ceilings. At the back, what appeared to be a loft with stairs going up. Rustic yet all the amenities that you would need, for instance the kitchen had a gas range, stainless steel refrigerator, microwave, Keurig. I was so happy that Daniel did not turn me away. Intrigued as I looked around, I had not noticed that he had disappeared. Moments later he reappeared wearing a sweatshirt and what appeared to be pajama bottoms. He handed me a towel a bathrobe and his pajama top.
“Sorry this is the best I can do for you, why don’t you take a hot shower and get out of those wet clothes. It is through there on your right.” He pointed.
“I will start a fire and warm the place up.”
“Thank you, Daniel, I will. I am sorry that I just showed up like this but I really needed to talk to you, I know you owe me nothing.” I felt myself starting to cry again so I rushed into the washroom. I stripped off my yellow sundress with red tiny flowers, then my pink lace bra. I tried to squeeze out as much water as I could into the tub and then hung them on the back of the door. I reached in turning on and adjusting the water temperature. Then proceeded to remove my matching pink panties, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked a horror, makeup running down my face. I took my panties with me into the shower I would need them for tomorrow so this is an opportunity to clean them.
The water felt fantastic cascading over me warming my body. I started thinking back to months ago the last time I had seen Daniel in person. That horrible day in the hospital when I was being treated for my injuries. The remorse, the humiliation, my husband Daniel, standing there, after being called by the police to come get me. Listening to the female officer’s official statement, as to what had transpired to have me in this predicament.
Officer Karen Stephens, was going over my statement, reading it back to me.
“So from what we gather, the other victim’s wife, had acquired a key card from the front desk using her same last name. Hearing music playing through the door she entered her husband’s hotel room and came across you and her estranged husband performing mutual oral gratification. At which point a Mrs. Helen Stephens, grab you by the hair of the head, and using her free hand started hitting you in the head with her fist. Pulling you off of her husband, a Mr Mike Stephens. Then proceeded to attack him busting his lip, I am told.” stopping to look at her notes, then proceeded.
“At that point, He escaped her attack and locked himself in the bathroom, while she pounded at the door. This gave you time to get dressed and gather your things. As you tried to slip by her to get out the door. Mrs Stephens, then verbally assaulted you with all kinds of slanderous names, inflicting those claw marks on the side of your face with her nails, before you got out the door… Okay we will be in touch if we have further questions.”
As I shut off the shower and wiped away my tears… That horrible day in the hospital when the officer took my statement and she stepped away and I saw my husband, Daniel, standing there listening to every word. When he turned and walked out and I never saw him again. Sure he answered a couple of my texts and we did talk for a little while on the phone that one day. Then he ghosted me all together, till today standing there in the rain after six months.
I towel dry, put on his shirt and robe, hung my dress to dry over the shower curtain rod and looked at myself in the mirror. The marks on my face have healed and gone, but the damage I did to Daniel’s heart, I can never forgive myself. I timidly creeped back out into the living room not knowing what was going to face me. Daniel was sitting on an overstuffed large sofa with his back to me. I could feel the heat and hear the crackle from the large stone fireplace, that seem to mesmerise his attention. Apprehensively sitting at the other end of the sofa, he never broke his gaze from the fire and I am glad that he had not. Now sitting here, after all this time, finally having him in my sight, after going over those thoughts in my head while taking a shower. I do not know if I could look him in the eyes.
“Do you feel better, are you warm enough?”
“Yes thank you, Daniel,” I whispered quietly.” He stood up and looked directly at me, our eyes locked for a second. It looked as though he was about to say something, I looked away and spoke before he could. “Daniel if I could just…”
“Hannah, not tonight okay, I do not want to discuss it. I am hungry, are you hungry? Let me get you something to eat.” I heated up two bowls of chili that I had made up the night before. Thinking to myself as I was waiting for the microwave. There she sits with wet hair and no makeup and she looks just as beautiful as ever, she always was a natural beauty. Why is she here, what does she want and why does she still possess a chunk of my heart?
( Bing ) Taking the first bowl out of the microwave and then putting in the second, I started to cut up some crusty bread. She cheated on me I had her dead to rights that day in the hospital I heard every word. When I got the call that she had been injured and needed to be picked up at the hospital. Sure I read her pleading text messages and I answered a few. We talked on the phone that day before I up and disappeared, she told me all the facts.
Hannah begged my forgiveness over and over, she was truly remorseful, but what I did not know was why? The day I left and changed my number, the one certainty that I had was that I needed time. Time to forgive her, or forget her, time to heal my broken heart. (Bing)
“Here Hannah, have some chili, careful it is hot. I cut up some crusty bread help yourself.”
“Thank you, Daniel, it smells delicious.” I’m not certain why he is being so nice to me, I thought for certain I was going to be dumped in a hotel. We sat and ate in silence, he must have felt the awkwardness as much as I did. When he took our empty bowls to the kitchen, he turned on some music. Daniel returned a little while later with a cup of hot chocolate for him and I. This time he sat down on a chair adjacent to the sofa away from me. When the song, (All Out of Love), came on the radio, and I started to cry. It was not my intention I did not want to cry in front of him, my penned up emotions at the lyrics just hit me. I sat down my drink and got up planning to rush to the washroom, to hide my embarrassment. Daniel stood up at the same time, step forward and grasp my hands in his. I pressed against him lay my head on his chest, my tears soaking into his shirt.
“It has been an emotional afternoon Hannah”…….Pausing his words he took his left hand and gingerly put it on the back of my head holding it to his chest.
“I am not angry any longer, Hannah, just confused!”
After a few moments he grasped my hands again, stepped back, looked into my eyes and said, “It’s been a long day. Why don’t you go freshen up I will get you a blanket you can sleep on the sofa. It is nice and warm out here and tomorrow we can talk if you like? This is Cottage Country tomorrow I am sure there is something open where we can get you some things.”
We stood there motionless for a moment, I so desperately hope that he would kiss me. But he eventually just let go and walked away. I proceeded to go and freshen up for bed. I brushed my teeth and brought some of my damp belongings out near the fire to dry. As I busied myself hanging things near the fire I heard him slip into the washroom, a little while later he came out.
“Daniel I am sorry to intrude on you like this but I really needed to talk to you face to face.” Pausing my words for a moment I croaked out…..”DDDaniel is there a special someone that would be angry to find out that I am here tonight?”
“No Hannah, good night, we will talk tomorrow.”
As I lie here in bed I know it is going to be a restless sleep. I guess this day with Hannah I knew was coming, hell officially we are still married I just walked away. We had a good marriage I loved her with all my heart and she did me, so I thought. We started dating the last couple years of University, found jobs after and got married. We found a small apartment in the city near friends and family. I liked my job and she enjoyed hers teaching music. Married for five plus happy years and planning to start a family.
When she told me she was pregnant I was the happiest man on earth. My parents and her mom were so happy for us. I think it was the first time I had seen Hannah’s mother smile, since her dad passed away two years prior.
Then it wasn’t that horrible day, (miscarriage.) Things were a little off after that Hannah got depressed and her doctor subscribed antidepressants. After the third week, I do not know if it was her medication or her trying to rebound but our sex life greatly increased. The bouts of sadness, to anger ended and our life slowly began to improve.
Hannah told me she had a music workshop coming up, it was a two-day event and she planned on staying in the hotel where the event was being hosted. Teachers were coming in from all over, she seems so happy. I figured this would be a healthy break for her and decided to take the opportunity to spend the weekend with my mom and dad.
The first night she was away she text me in the afternoon, with a picture of an acoustic guitar that she said that she loved. I texted back that I thought that she should go ahead and buy it and that I love her. Look forward to seeing her, when she returns. Just after midnight I got a call from the hospital saying that she had been hurt with no real details. It was a bit of a drive but I got there within two and a half hours.
Upon my arrival I spoke with a nurse and the other investigating police officer in the hallway. After being filled in on what details they had I stood in the doorway, listened to the officer reading back the statement that my wife gave of night’s events. What was I hearing, was this a dream a nightmare, was I hearing that my wife had cheated on me?
Now here I am, with Hannah on my sofa, trying desperately to sleep. All thoughs, painful moments spinning in my head…..
The room a glow by firelight, I can not sleep. My husband, love of my life, lying up there, asleep in that loft. Getting up, deciding to do the dishes, I am so nervous about tomorrow’s conversation. I so desperately want to go up there and have him hold me in his arms, take me, make love to me. Tell me that I am his and his alone. There, dishes done, I will try once again to get some rest. Laying there on the sofa once again, covered up in a warm blanket, listening to the sound of the crackling fire…..
Waking to the smell of coffee brewing bacon cooking, sitting up on the sofa and rubbing my eyes trying to get my bearings. There was Daniel in the kitchen preparing breakfast. I got up putting his housecoat back on and slowly tiptoed up behind him. “Good morning, do you need any help?” He turned to look at me, almost had what appeared like a forced smile.
“Oh…Good morning, Hannah, I have everything in hand thank you. Did you have an okay sleep?”
“Eventually, have I time to freshen up before breakfast?” Daniel smiled and nodded a yes. After freshening up I came back out to the table. He immediately put a cup of coffee in front of me, then place the plate of French toast and bacon. I was not overly hungry my belly was still full of butterflies, but would not dare insult him by not finishing what he gave me.
“That is two meals you have prepared for me Daniel, I would hope that you would allow me to cook you dinner tonight….That is assuming that you do not throw my butt to the curb before the day is over.” Laughing nervously.
“Hannah, I can not say that it is unpleasant to see you, that would be a lie…….. But I do not understand why you are here exactly, I thought we made it clear, on the phone…… That we were best going our separate ways.”
I studied Daniel’s face he did not look angry he looks sad. Wiping a tear from my eye I spoke Softly, “I disagree. I do not find it to be best for me anyways. I love you, always have, always will. Yes I f***** up Daniel, I f***** up big time…..When we text and talk briefly before you left me, everything was still raw.
Daniel, I have been seeing a psychologist. I now know more about myself than I did before, like for instance my dad died two years to the day that I lost OUR baby……” pausing to wipe away more tears.
“I did not even consciously think about it at the time, I was just broken inside. I now realize how hurt you were inside, when we lost our….. I was selfish and only thinking of my own pain. I am not trying to make excuses, what I did is inexcusable. I lost you completely when you disconnected your phone as well. Please, I am so sorry. Please just let me tell you everything and then, ttthen, I will never bother you again, if that is what you want.”
Standing up, wiped a tear from her cheek, I was taken back by Hannah’s words, but changed the subject. “As much as I like that pretty little dress you are wearing, I did promise to take you shopping for some supplies. Trains are not running until after the holiday, I guess we are stuck with each other.” I gave her a smile. “You can tell me everything you think I need to know still, when we get back from shopping. Let us finish up here, do the dishes and get on our way.
It was a better day today, it was still cool, but the sun was out. As we drove I asked Daniel about the cottage and his work. He told me that he was renting the cottage but he did not know how much longer that would be. The owner had told him that he planned on selling the place probably within the year. I knew that saddened Daniel. He never did take the city life, always told me of his dream to one day having a cabin in country. He told me he enjoyed his job, it was very similar to what he was doing in the city, but the people were a lot friendlier. Daniel started asking questions about my life, how my mom was, how work was going. I answered his questions.
“My Mom is fine, she asked about you all the time. She never says that I out right screwed up my marriage, only that Dad would be so disappointed if he was still alive. I am still teaching and giving music lessons at the apartment, just to have more money. It also keeps my mind busy, I miss you! When I lost track of you I went to your mom and dad’s house, your Mom yelled at me for over an hour. I took it, I deserved every minute of it, and again two weeks later when I went back. The third time I showed up, she invited me in for dinner and said nothing more. Daniel, I just want you to know, I’ve never even looked at another man since that horrible day.”
We both stopped talking the car fell silent, shortly after we arrived at a Supercenter and went in to do some shopping. Daniel grabbed a cart and we proceeded to the produce department. He pushed the cart around while we picked out supplies for our weekend. It made me happy inside, it was like old times, we always shopped together.
“Let’s go over and pick you out a change of clothing, Hannah, I recommend you buy a pair of jeans and some walking shoes. They might be more practical for what I have planned for tomorrow.”
“Oh really!” I smiled. “What do you have planned for us?” Stepping up close to him and looking up into his blue eyes. Daniel is a good nine inch taller than me, he look down and we locked eyes momentarily. He then averted his eyes, step back and laughed nervously. I picked out a form-fitting pair of light blue jeans and a button down white blouse. He waited with our cart as I went into a change room trying them on. The jeans were tight and accentuated my bubble butt, I left three buttons undone on the blouse. I had left my damp bra at the cottage and wanted to show a lot of cleavage. Not that my B Cups ever gave off a lot of cleavage. But Daniel had never complained in the past and always enjoyed sucking on my permanently erect nipples. No matter he always claimed to be an ass man and I had that in spades. I took out my lip gloss and mascara and quickly did a touch up in the mirror, retrieving a scrunchie from my purse I put my long blonde hair in a ponytail.
Acting like there was no mirror inside, I came out and stood in front of the mirror so Daniel could see me. Watching him in the mirror behind me as I wiggled my butt. I said, “what do you think?” Daniel was staring intently at my ass as he drew his tongue across his dry lips.
He cleared his throat and said,” it looks..” Clear his throat again. “Looks good.”
I smiled, then went and changed back into my dress. Before we cashed out, I picked out three thongs, a package of socks and a pair of walking shoes. I insisted that I wanted to pay but Daniel would hear nothing of it. We cashed out, loaded the car and headed back.
On the way back I asked if we could stop and grab a cup of tea for the road. As we pulled into the coffee shop parking lot I asked him if he wanted another coffee? Daniel acknowledged yes and then put the car in park. Before he could even undo his seatbelt, I jumped out of the car and said,” I’ve got it.”
I ordered our drinks and two honey dip donuts, from the elderly lady behind the counter. As I stood there waiting for my order, I wondered to myself. Why had Daniel not serve me with divorce papers? I nervously spun my wedding band on my finger. I was so relieved that he hadn’t had me served by now. That day outside of his work standing there in the rain, I had not missed noticing that he still had his wedding band on. I know he was being good to me this weekend but, he always was a good man that did not mean anything. I just hope there is enough love in his heart for me still, that he can forgive me, and give me a chance to make it right. I gathered our order and headed back to the car, handing him a coffee and a doughnut he smiled at me.
“Thank you Hannah” I took a drink of my coffee and then ate my donut as we sat there in the parking lot in silence. I know we needed to talk, I just did not want to talk any further in the car about us. I asked her, “are you okay listening to the radio on the way back?” She nodded yes, so off we went. Listening to music, drinking are hot beverages, lost in our thoughts.
Upon arriving back at the cabin, we unpacked our purchases put away the groceries. We had a good breakfast so we opted to skip lunch and have an early dinner, Daniel placed a bottle of white wine in the refrigerator for later. It was still early afternoon so he suggested that we could go for a walk in the trails through the forest behind the cottage. I put on my new shoes and socks, Daniel grabbed us two bottled waters and off we went.
The air had warmed, the sun felt nice. I desperately wanted to hold his hand but did not push the situation. Coming out into a small clearing, there was a field of wild flowers. Daniel picked some for me, naming them off, blue chicory, yellow goldenrod, white queen’s lace and a red devil’s paintbrush. I was impressed, he always was so knowledgeable about the outdoors. As we came to the forest tree line again, I could hear water running in a creek. We sat on a large fallen log at its edge.
Daniel took a drink of his water, then looked at me and said, “this is good a place as any to talk.”
I turned my legs towards him and took his hand and held it in my lap with both hands, looked into his eyes…..” Okay, Daniel, please please let me get as much of this out as possible without interruption, this is so hard for me. Daniel you know how destroyed I felt when, when we lost the baby. That’s why I went on antidepressants I was so lost. After a while, with your love and support and the medication, it seemed to be working. Even my sex drive started to increase greatly, and I felt as though we were both back on track. What I did find out after, Daniel, is that my antibioticmy antibiotic(wellbutrin) is not a SSRI and actually increase dopamine, enhances sex drive. I was prescribed a high dose of 300mg.”
Continuing to hold his hand with my right at wiping a tear with my left.
“I am completely off all medication now, with the help of a therapy.
Anyways that weekend I went away for the convention, they had music workshops, musicians playing, guest speakers, vendors selling musical instruments and literature. That afternoon I met up with two University teachers that I knew from the past. Myself and the two other girls went to a local restaurant/bar for a bite to eat and listen to music, that evening. There were three performers on stage playing celtic music, Anna David and Mike. Anna was a guest speaker and was the one that told me she would be playing that night at the restaurant and invited us along. After they came off stage they sat down with the three of us. My doctor had informed me that drinking while on prescription was not recommended but not forbidden, so I nursed a wine cooler. David had asked me to dance with him and I declined. I noticed that neither, Him or Anna, wore wedding ring and where single I asumed. They danced a couple of times together and so did the other two teachers that sat at the table with me. Mike and I being the only married people at the table talked about are partners.” I paused and looked into Daniel’s eyes again he was listening intently.
” I talked about you and about teaching and about the fact that I played a cello. Mike talked about his wife and his business where he repaired musical instruments. He told me his passion was for the violin, and that he played cello, before taking up violin. He offered to buy me a drink which I declined. Mike then said everyone is dancing but us, would you care to dance one song. Seeing as we were both married I thought there would be no harm. The second song was a slow song and for whatever reason we continue to dance. The third song was a slow song as well but I said let us get back to the table. He thanked me for the dance and told me how attractive I was which made me blush to be honest. When I got back to the table one of the girls had bought shooters drinks, I don’t know which one. I reluctantly gave into peer pressure and shot it back with everyone else,” I once again took my hand and wiped a tear from my eye Daniel sat quiet.
Shortly after that I discovered that Mike, Anna, myself and Kathy one of the teachers, were staying at the same hotel. So we split a cab and left, Mike rode in the front seat, us three girls in the back. We were all laughing and feeling good. All of us, riding up in the elevator, Mike talked to me about being willing to offer my students a major discount on refurbished instruments. Reaching the third floor, Kathy and Anna got out. Coincidentally enough, Mike and I were on the fourth floor. Walking by his hotel door first he said.”
“Why don’t you come in for a minute, I will give you a pamphlet and
some business cards.”
I felt Daniel’s hands tightened slightly on mine, knowing I was approaching the painful part.
“He gave me the cards and pamphlets I put them in my purse then he said sit down for a second I want to show you my Stradivarius. I sat on the bed and he sat down near me, he handed me the violin and said.”
“Go ahead play it.”
“I played a little bit of green sleeves I was not very good with a violin. Mike told me I played very well and once again he complimented me on my looks and told me he enjoyed my company tonight……… then he kissed me……then he kissed me more and I kissed him back then we laid back on the bed he started touching me and I didn’t stop him…..Oh God, Daniel, I hate myself, I hate what I did….We didn’t have intercourse I swear to you we didn’t his wife showed up, everything is a blur I remember her ripping me by the hair of the head.
Daniel stood up. “I think that is enough for now, I think we should be getting back.”
Daniel began to walk away, I fell to my knees. I felt myself beginning to hyperventilate. “PLEASEEEE Daniel, I want you to know I am not blaming the antidepressants or the alcohol. I did everything that I did and, and just want you to have all the facts. Please know how remorseful I truly am. If given a chance I would spend the rest of my life making this up to you and working to be the women you deserve.” Crouching there in the long grass holding my hands over my eyes.
I crouched down in front of her and took her hands in mine. “It’s all right, it is all right, Hannah. It is getting late that’s all” I gathered her wild flowers up off the ground and helped her to her feet. She was sobbing so hard, I knew this was as hard on her to admit, as it was to hear. I held her hand this time as we walked back into the forest, and through towards the cabin. Hannah held my hand with all her strength like it was her lifeline.
I was so relieved when Daniel held my hand, as we walked back to the cottage. once there, I asked him if I could take a shower to freshen up and then make dinner. He thought that was a good idea and got me a vase for my flowers. He told me he would cut some wood and start a fire and then take a shower after me. After coming out of the shower wearing, like the night before, his robe, t-shirt and this time panties. I started to put together diner, lemon chicken with rice. I kept stealing glances of Daniel as he started the fire. He is so handsome, God I love that man. I got sight of him as he pulled his shirt up over his head as he walked into the washroom. Daniel had always been in good shape but I think he was even more muscular than he had been prior. It has been so long, just looking at him made me shiver and moisten. I clenched my legs together and felt my nipples hardened. I fantasized in my mind about stripping my clothes off rushing into the room, crawling on my hands and knees towards him as he toweled off his wet body. Then begging him to take me any way that he felt fit. Snapping back to reality I realized I almost burnt the rice.
He came out of the washroom wearing only his pajama bottoms towelling off his hair as he climbed the stairs to the loft. I stood there almost panting like a dog looking for a treat. He returned wearing a t-shirt as well and asked me if I would like a glass of wine. “That would be nice Daniel dinner’s ready.” He poured us both a glass and then checked his cell phone, sitting on the charger.
“It is a text message from my Mom, she wants to know if you made it here okay.” Talking into my phone.
(“Yes Mom she is here, I will talk to you later, love you.”)
“Looks like my parents were worried about you. I guess they know that you found me now. This meal looks great Hannah thank you.”
“Your family is so sweet, Daniel, they love you so much and they try to stay out of it for the longest time. I wore your dad down, my mother has no idea I am here. She loves you very much, She was hopeful that we would……. I did not want to get her hopes up.” Quickly changing the subject, “this wine is really nice.” Dinner involved more small talk, I asked more questions about his work. After dinner we did dishes and then retired to the living room by the fire with another glass of wine. We sat on the same sofa not together but close, Daniel, stared at the fire and deep thought. I wondered what he was thinking about, yet feared it at the same time, when he eventually spoke.
“Hannah I know that you are aware that when I left the hospital after hearing your confession so to speak, I was so distraught. I just could not face you that is why we communicated through text and phone calls. I know you are sorry and I know we make mistakes in life, but I also know that I could not put this behind me. I tried, Hannah, I really did. So I decided to just disappear for a while, but here is what you do not know.” Hannah’s hands were shaking she could barely hang on to her wine glass, taking it from her hand and setting it on the table. I turned more towards her, taking her hands in mine. Tears were streaming down her face as she listened.
“I met up with Helen, that prick’s, wife….guess I should say ex-wife, we had lunch together. She filed for divorce and left him this was not the first time for him. That is how she caught you too, she had been following him for a while now, suspecting his bad behavior with lots of women. She told me that you dropped the charges and that you called to apologize. Helen also told me that she hung up the phone on you. I now had all sides of the story and they all matched.” I took a moment and wiped her tears.
“In the restaurant as I paid for our lunch, Helen told me to take care of myself and said two wrongs do not make a right. She then leaned in, put her hand on the back of my head and passionately kissed me on the mouth. After breaking free from the kiss. She looked at me and said, so they say… Then walked away, I have not seen or spoke to her since that day.” I pause for a moment handing, Hannah, back her glass of wine, we both took a drink.
“Hannah I am glad you had a chance to talk to a psychologist about….everything. When WE, lost the baby it hit me real hard, I just had to stay strong for your sake. You were so depressed and then when you got your prescription. Things started to improve between us at least physically I think emotionally you were still lost. Then when I found out about the infidelity, no matter how many apologies. I was certain I had lost you as well. Hannah it is easier to walk away than to try to fix…Us… So maybe I am a coward, I ran.”
“You’re no coward, you had every right to run away, but I beg you… Please, Daniel, please forgive me for being so foolish. I know I do not deserve your forgiveness.”
“That is enough talk.”
Daniel said, then sat down his glass and got up, retrieved his phone and started looking for something. Then I heard it, the music, coming out of his cell. (I don’t want to talk about it by Rod Stewart) He reached for me then took me in his arms and we slow danced in front of the fire light. I feel the love we shared, so safe, this man means everything to me. If I can not regain his trust and prove I will never falter again, I can not go on. My life has been a Purgatory hell, since the day he walked away. Sinking into his body, feeling his strength his warmth, his heartbeat. Thinking please do not let me go, make this last forever.
When the song ended we stood motionless for a moment. Daniel let go and stepped back, I felt a shiver through my body. We stood still staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, eyes locked on each other. There was a sudden crackle from the fire breaking the silence.
Clearing my throat probably more out of nervousness than any physical ailment. “That was nice, Hannah, thank you. I was thinking maybe umm, I should umm, get cleaned up and get ready for bed.” I walk towards the washroom then stopped, gathered my thoughts for a moment and turned and looked at Hannah.
“Hannah I do not want to mislead you, I knew eventually we would have to talk one more time at least……I am not going to lie to you, I still love you. Sometimes it is hard to put into words what you mean to me. You were my best friend, my everything… Maybe that is where we went wrong, maybe we stopped communicating as well as we should. Not talking about it is where we went wrong……You hurt me so damn bad.”
He closed the bathroom door moments later I heard the shower come on his words hung there in the air. Daniel was right he was right, right about everything. I was certain that when this weekend was over we were over. I sat on the sofa weeping away, could not imagine any more soul-wrenching pain than this.
A short time later he came out of the shower placed a large log on the fire and went to his room. He said good night, nothing more. “Goodnight, Daniel, I love you.” I went and freshened up for bed myself holding a cold cloth to my eyes, swollen and sore.
Lying back on the sofa, the only light in the entire cabin was the fire. I could hear that the rain had started again outside. I laid there for over an hour unable to sleep. I can not take this anymore, got up and stripped off everything. My body quivered, my skin covered in goosebumps. I tiptoed towards the ladder to the loft. As I reached the top of the ladder, I could hear Daniel’s rhythmic breathing. The rain as well pounding on the rooftop as I crawl towards his bed. Lifting the blankets I crawled in next to him, I felt him flinch and then turn.
“Shhhhh, Daniel.” I whispered. “Just hold me please, Daniel, that is all I ask. Even if it is never again, just give me this one night.” He turned over on his side facing me, took me in his arms. Feeling his warm flesh on mine, he still slept in the nude. Placing my head against his chest, wrapped my arms around him, drifting off to sleep.
I woke to the sensation of Daniel’s hardness against my belly. Having no idea how long my slumber, it was very dark. I could still hear the rain coming down. I gently rolled him onto his back and then began to caress his harden phallus, gently teasing with just my fingertips. Then grasping it in my hand and slowly stroking up and down. I could feel my body aching, moistening. Hearing Daniel’s breath quicken, matching mine. I craved, needed, him inside of me. Sitting up, throwing my leg over top of him, knees on either side. I rubbed my inner lips up and down his solid shaft. Feeling an orgasm building already, as the head of his penis rubbed against my clit. Daniel’s hands reached up and grasped onto the sides of my hips. Lifting myself up enough, balancing on one knee, I reach down and grasp his cock. Guiding it to where it belonged, lowering myself back down burying it deep inside me. I began to gently ride him as he thrust up into me, grasping at my hips frantically. My left hand on his chest to hold myself up, stimulating my clit with my other hand. I felt light-headed, my orgasm washed over me. Coming out of my orgasm infused stupor, lowered my head to my lover’s ear. I whispered, “let me know when you are ready my love, I am fertile and unprotected.” Licking his earlobe I continue to whisper warning.
” I will finish it with my mouth.”
My warning only fuel Daniel desire. His fingers digging even harder into the flesh of my ass. I could not pull away if I wanted to as he thrust into me with all he had. The pain of his grasp, aroused me and I started gyrating my hips into him. Daniel’s whole body suddenly stiffened, then trembled as I heard him cry out in ecstasy. I could feel his warmth spilling out inside of me. This is only the third time I have ever heard Daniel cry out. The first, being when I first gave myself to him, the second time was our honeymoon. I can not describe the feeling I had inside, I was so happy tears were dripping from my eyes. My whole body trembled as he pulling me to him, my bossom squished into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. After awhile he rolled me onto my back. Hovering over me, he began to kiss my neck my throat my breast. kissing and licking my nipples as he gently stroke the side of my face with his fingertips. Daniel then lay down beside me, put his arm around me and pulled me in tight. Placing his lips against mine he began to passionately kiss me. I open my mouth our tongues hungrily played with each other. Kissing me again on the side of my neck by my earlobe.
He whispered,
“Mine.”
When I woke I realized, Daniel, was no longer in the room, also all my clothes were downstairs. I got up and went to his dresser to see if I could find a shirt to wear. there was a post-It note on the mirror in Daniel’s handwriting.
( making breakfast sleepyhead Loving You Love Me ) “How sweet,” I muttered to myself. I found a pair of socks and in the closet a white button-down collar shirt. Making my way down the ladder, I heard.
“Nice view”
Daniel was standing at the bottem looking up. “DANIEL, go, go, I need to freshen up,” I playfully kicked at him. Reaching the bottom foor, then scurrying to the washroom. After a quick shower I dress in the jeans and shirt I’d stashed in there after shopping yesterday, putting my hair up in a messy bun.
I came out and sat down to breakfest, coffee, pancakes and fresh fruit. “Thank You Daniel.”
After eating we when for a small drive and came to a horse farm. We had not ridden together since we first dated. Daniel told me that he helps out on the farm some weekends and that it was his boss’ parents’ farm. He was welcome to take the horses out anytime he pleased.
“Good to see you, Daniel, who is this you have with you?”
“This is my, um wife, Hannah, Mister Stevens.”
“Your wife! Where the hell have you been hiding her? Pleased to meet you little lady.”
“Nice to meet you Sir.”
“You two go on and enjoy yourselves, you know where everything is, Daniel.”
Daniel had two quarter horses saddled up in no time at all, we walked them out to the edge of the trails before mounting up. He worked on a horse farm to help with expenses in University I remember. Daniel would take me riding when we first started dating. We met through mutual friends back then after my band practice, one afternoon. He started showing up at all my practices and recitals. Daniel, was so supportive and always praised my musical Talent. We rode along and talked about old times, it was like a redo of days gone by.
“Hannah I remember when we first started dating, that time that you played that solo piece. ( Every Breath You Take, by the Police ) When you played that, it brought a tear to my eye. I thought a woman that can play with that much passion, is someone I need to know. Then and there I knew, that I wanted to marry you……..Been a good ride, looks like rain again, we better head back.”
When we got back we walk the horses for a bit, brush them out and put them in the paddock. We cleaned up some, thanked Mr Stevens and headed out. When we got back, Daniel, split wood and I carried it inside. We started a fire, the cottage was cool, but warming up slowly. I decided to take a hot shower to clean up after a day’s ride. Daniel told me to throw my things outside the door and he would throw them in the wash, get me a fresh towel and robe. Just as I was about to get out, he said,
“leave the water running I am next.”
Stepping out, there he was, his nude form standing before me and looked him over admirably. He handed me a towel, warm from the dryer. “Thank you you are so good to me.” I made tea and waited for him by the fire. I was sad inside, thinking tomorrow I am going home and did not know the future. Sure we had made love, everything seems to be going just great! But does he wants me back, okay I need to get out of my head, just see where things go.
Daniel came out of the washroom wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt drying his hair. He went into the back room. I heard him opening the washing machine and loading the dryer. I yelled out to him, “I made a pot of tea would you like some, while I make dinner?”
“That would be great, thank you Hun..Hannah”
I started to put together a meal making, chicken fajitas, Daniel poured a cup of tea and gave me a hand. The kitchen with small but functional and on more than one occasion, accidentally on purpose, I rubbed my butt up against his groin. As we gathered our plates and headed in to the living room, to sit by the fire while we ate. I had taken notice that my flirtatious behavior had stimulated the proper response, by the bulge in the front of his pajamas.
After dinner we roasted marshmallows in the fire for dessert, then played cribbage. A game I had learned when I was a little girl playing with my Dad. Daniel recommended that we finish off the bottle of wine from the night before. While he was in the kitchen I gathered up a bunch of blankets and pillows and made like a nest on the floor in front of the fireplace. When he came back into the living room with the wine, I was sitting in the center of a pile of blankets and pillows and told him I was nesting. He looked at me strangely, with a smirk on his face.
“You are nesting are you!” He laughed.
“Come join me silly, I’ve got a new card game let’s play war.”
We drank our wine laughed and played cards while sitting on the floor. At one point I got silly and tried to take his card from him, he began to tickle me. I tried to tickle him back, but he was too strong. Daniel rolled me back and held my hands playfully, straddling me. Staring into my eyes he slowly lowered his head towards me, I felt his lips on mine. I threw my arms around his neck and held him, as my tongue darted into his waiting mouth. He kissed me back with equal hunger, desire grew at a feverish pace. Breaking contact with my lips he sat up, I opened my eyes and looked up at him wantingly. Daniel’s warm blue eyes staring down at me with equal yearning.
Slowly undoing the sash, opening my robe exposing all and looking me over. Daniel took his time kissing and licking my protruding hard nipples with his tongue, gently nursing on one, then the other. Growing arousal, my hips uncontrollably gyrating beneath him. Daniel stood and I took the opportunity to take the robe off completely. Laying back and squirming on the floor spreading my legs, I licked my lips, my eyes looking up into his, hungerly begging him back to me. He slowly stripped off his T-shirt, then dropped his pajama bottoms and lowered himself back to me.
This time getting down between my legs looping his arms underneath my knees, placing his hands on my hips he began to kiss my inner thighs. Taking a deep breath through his nostrils ejoying the scent of my desire. Kissing closer, closer, till I could feel the tip of his tongue caressed my inner folds and his nose grazed in my neatly trimmed mound. Daniel’s oral talents were always spectacular. He truly enjoyed performing oral sex. His tongue played my musical instrument like a aficionado. In no time at all I was singing out, a massive orgasm my whole body shaking as I cried out. “OH MYYY GODDD I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH.”
Daniel crawled up my body, kissing my belly, then again suckling my rock hard nipples. His mouth finally reaching my lips, I kissed him hungerly throwing my arms around his neck again. I could feel the head of his hardness making its appearance into my waiting desire. He gently worked the head of his cock in and out of me not giving me more than an inch or two at a time, back and forth back and forth teasing. As we worked our tongues into each other’s mouth mimicking the same movements. My whole body was shaking as he slowly inserted himself fully into me. I do not know what it was, last night’s love making was beyond belief, but this, this, somehow was even more. My body felt different, we were like one, one entity, we gyrated rhythmically in sync. Daniel was rocking his hips side to side as he was fully inserted in me and his pubic bone was stimulating my clit. Oh,oh my, oh my, I was about to have my first vaginal orgasm. Daniel was nuzzling my neck, and I almost felt like I was going to faint, my eyes were tearing up, when all of the sudden. I clutched onto his buttocks with my fingers holding him into me as hard as I could my whole body quaking. I felt the most incredible orgasm wash over me. At the same time I heard Daniel cry out.
“AAAAHHHHHHHH”
I could feel it I could feel it pulsing as, ejaculate filled me, so loving so warm. A feeling of complete Euphoria, our hearts hammering in unison our bodies covered in glistening sweat. Daniel rolled off to the side, but held me tight in his arms, as he whispered in my ear.
“I love you Hannah.”
After awhile I slipped out of Daniel’s arms and used the potty to cleaned up. Upon returning he was stretched out blissfully at rest. I crawled back between his legs, laying on my belly. This time I took his member in my mouth. Bringing his cock to rigidity, as my lover slumbered. In no time all I had reawakened, Daniel’s attention and his desire.
Firmly grasping and controlling his shaft, I slowly moved my right hand up and down stroking him. Taking the head of his member in my warm mouth, my tongue swirling about, licking sucking. Caressing his belly with my fingernails of my left hand. I could feel his stomach muscles tensing his shaft pulsing, it would not be long now. Daniel reach down with both hands placing them on either shoulders, making tickle motions with the tips of his fingers.
Then… tensing, growling out loud like a wild animal, he released into my hungry mouth. Never wanting to disappoint, I held fast, taking all he had to give. Consuming all he had until I felt him soften, I crawled up beside him kissed his chest and laid my head down on it and pulling the blankets up over us. ” I’d give my life before disappointing you ever again.” I said, as I drifted off to sleep.
2 YEARS 9 MONTHS
Bounces our baby girl, August, on my knee. “I can not believe she is two years old today, Hannah.”
“Your parents should be here any moment, Daniel. My mom said she will be here soon, with the cake that she baked. You hear that, August, Grandma’s coming with your birthday cake.”
Waddling over and taking a seat on the sofa, beside my loving husband and beautiful daughter. It is a beautiful spring day but still cool enough that Daniel’s been tending to the fire in the stone fireplace. Keeping our log home in the country warm. Last year when the real estate agent finally told us that they had accepted our offer on our little country Oasis. It was exactly what we were looking for just like the one Daniel had rented but larger.
“Hun……Hannah?”
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I was daydreaming what did you say?”
“I was thinking we have that maple forest behind us, next spring I could tap those trees for maple syrup what do you think?”
“I think that is a fantastic idea Daniel, a good family thing for us to do together. Oh, sweetheart quick, put your hand on my belly your son is kicking.”
“Yes, yes I feel it, kiss me Hun, I love you so much. Our beautiful daughter was conceived in the fall and you chose August for her name, what are we going to name our son?”
“How about, Phoenix, for Second Chances” and they lived happily ever after.