First – my sincere thanks to the superlative editing talents of shadysweet. This was the first time I asked for the assistance of an editor and it was a great experience. She was great with communication and honored all of her commitments. I’d without hesitation recommend her.
Now, dear readers – like so many of us, the Loving Wives category is a guilty pleasure for me. I find the entire BTB, Cheating Wife, “Honey We Have to Talk” genre is fascinating. However, one thing that always seems to leave me wanting is that the wronged husband rarely maintains his dignity. He either slinks away completely defeated or scorches the earth leaving nothing but complete destruction in his path. But sometimes, just sometimes, if you play your cards right, sit back and be the better person, the assholes just simply burn themselves!
This is my attempt at seeing that the MC gets that satisfaction without losing his dignity.
My Sins:
Being a faithful, loving husbandBeing a dedicated, loving fatherBeing a selfless, loving friendBeing way too trustingMy Penance:
Losing my wife, my home and my plans for the futureBecoming a Part-time father to my kidsLosing my friend (foreshadowing – see bullet #1 above)I could tell by the smarmy, condescending way they were treating me that this was going to be my opportunity to say what I had been holding inside for the better part of three months. I was at the house (my former marriage home) and just as I was finishing the last walk-through to ensure I hadn’t missed anything she just had to say, “Jim, you know you are welcome here anytime.”
I sighed, looked at her and said, “Well, a couple of things about that. First, the fact that you put a restraining order on me so I couldn’t come here kind of tells me otherwise. And second, this will be the last time I ever darken the door of this place. At one time, it was full of great memories – now, it’s just the scene of the crime to me. So, no, Peggy, I won’t be back.”
She winced, “I know that was harsh and we really wanted to avoid it, but my lawyer thought it best for the safety of the kids that you weren’t allowed to be here until everyone calmed down and everything was sorted out. It was as much for your protection as it was for ours.”
“Well, thank you for thinking so little of me that I wouldn’t be able to control myself. You know as well as I do, I’ve never raised a hand to you or the kids and barely raised my voice. And if it was about me confronting Dickwad, you needn’t have worried. If or when I take my pound of flesh, it won’t be here in front of the kids – again – you should know me better than that. But I guess that’s what you get when you hop into bed with an asshole like that and a man-hater lawyer like you hired.”
Just then, Dickwad made his appearance. He walked over to my soon-to-be ex-wife and put a possessive arm around her shoulder. At least he had the decency to look almost embarrassed, but his words belied his body language. “Jim, with due respect. I know you were the best of us when we were in the service, but you’ve been out for over 10 years. I was truly afraid you’d come at me in anger when this all started and I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ve done enough damage to you and it’s the one part of all of this that I regret.”
I flashed back to three months ago when I arrived home after work. I was met on the front porch with Peggy, Dickwad, a process server and what looked like some hired muscle. I was served with divorce papers, a restraining order and given a suitcase with a week’s worth of clothing. I was also told that the happy couple was so kind as to prepay for a week for me at the local Holiday Inn, but after that I was on my own. She looked at me with a pained expression on her face and simply said, “I’m sorry Jim, I didn’t plan for this to happen – Barry and I just, I don’t know… we’ve always gotten along and while he’s been here since he retired, we just… got …. closer and I’m so sorry. I know this is a shock and it’s going to be painful but we want to make it as easy as we can for you.”
I simply picked up the suitcase, turned and walked back to my truck. I was pretty much nuclear but wasn’t going to show them and didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize things with my kids. I hopped in the truck and drove off in the opposite direction of the fucking Holiday Inn. I sure as hell wasn’t going to accept their charity – petty, I know, but that’s where I was.
I found myself alternate accommodations and over the next week ignored all the “I’m sorry” and “Please, reply to me and tell me you are ok” texts. I consulted a lawyer and found out that I was pretty much screwed. Because she was a stay-at-home mom and I traveled a fair amount, she was sure to get, as she had requested in the petition, primary custody with “liberal visitation.” She would retain the house although they would have to buy me out of my half. I just wondered how they were going to do that, given her lack of income and his very recent entry into the workforce after retiring from the army after all these years, but I’m guessing that they found some mortgage company willing to give an “ex-service” man a mortgage to thank him for his service. She had done everything else pretty much by the book. The only thing I balked at was her going after my pension – that was going to get messy.
I had taken the week off and after I got the lawyer bullshit all straightened out, crawled into (for a couple of days) and out of a bottle. I was still white-hot with rage but knew if I did anything stupid, it would impact negatively on the access I would have with the kids. So, I found a nice little three-bedroom house in the kids’ school area and moved in. That brought me to today and the agreed-to access to the house where I could remove anything that was mine.
Once they realized I wasn’t going to make a scene Peggy told the court-appointed supervisor that he could go, but I insisted that he stay. I wanted everything documented so it wouldn’t blow back on me later. I smiled bitterly when I asked where my kids were and was told that Peggy and Barry thought it best that they spend the day with her folks – that it might be “too hard for me.”
“Well,” I said, “What was too hard for me hasn’t been too much of a concern recently, now, has it?”
“Jim,” she started, “I know I’ve broken your heart and I’m so very sorry – it was never my… our.. intention. I know we’ve no right to ask, but would you be willing to sit with us so we can explain? You’ve not given us a chance since this all happened and I think if you let us talk to you, it will make more sense and help you come to terms with what has happened.”
“Yeah, buddy,” Dickwad added, “I’m sure you can’t see it right now, but I really think we can find a way through this. I just know our friendship and your love for Peggy and the kids is strong enough that we can make this work.”
“First, I’m not your buddy anymore – turns out I never was and second, there is no way through this – you are dead to me. I will have to endure dealing with my Cheating Whore of a soon-to-be ex-wife when it comes to my kids, but let me be crystal clear – you and I are through. Now, if the two of you feel the need to try to assuage your conscience by explaining how all of this “just happened”, I’ll sit for a minute – it should be entertaining to see how you can spin this.”
“Hey! I know you are hurting, but I won’t let you disrespect the woman I love. You know it would not turn out well if we got into it.”
I looked at Dickwad and just smirked, “Oh, we will “get into it” – don’t you worry. Just not here and not now. Just rest assured that I won’t blindside you as you did me – your so-called “brother-in-arms.” So, I’ll call my soon-to-be ex-wife a Cheating Whore if I want – cause at the end of the day, that’s exactly what she is.”
Dickwad jumped out of his chair with fire in his eyes. I mirrored him and said, “Oh, please, give me a reason – take your shot – come on you fucking coward!”
Peggy leaped up and grabbed Dickwad’s arm – “Barry!! Stop it! – this will solve nothing! You can’t blame him – We did this to him. Now sit down!
After Dickwad sat down, I considered taking another shot at him for being pussy-whipped, but thought better of it. This was war and the battle we just had was inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. After we all calmed down and I turned down the offered coffee I said, “It’s your shitshow – let’s get on with it so I can get out of here.”
“Jim, first of all, I want you to know that this has nothing to do with how good of a man you are and how good of a husband and father you were. I’ve always respected you, loved you and up until five months ago I was totally happy with our marriage and was one hundred percent faithful to you. I still do love and respect you.”
“Well, you’ve got a fuck of an odd way of showing it,” I said.
“Jim, please, I know I’ve hurt you. You’ve every right to be upset, but being rude like that isn’t going to solve anything. I can’t tell you how conflicted I’ve been since all this started. I knew I was going to hurt you, but I had to follow my heart. I couldn’t live the rest of my life settling for less than what I know is the perfect person for me. Barry is my soulmate. It’s like he’s my other half. I feel complete with him. Surely you wouldn’t want to deny me that. You have to admit that up until this happened, I was a good wife and mother.”
I looked over at Dickwad who was trying fairly unsuccessfully to keep the smug look off his face. Oh, how I wanted to punch that fucking face into next week – another time – I’ll get my chance. But, first things first. Time to bring Miss Fucking High and Mighty down a peg or three.
“I’ll give you this Peggy – for a woman who has cheated more than once, you weren’t bad. And yes, you do a decent job of being a mother – I’ll give you that too.”
Now it was her turn to leap from her chair.
“How dare you! Until Barry came to live with us, I never cheated on you! And for you to say that I did is a complete lie! I know you are upset – but you WILL take that back – and take it back immediately!”
“Sit the fuck down – now! I’m so fucking sick and tired of your holier-than-thou attitude. It’s time you both got a goddamn lesson in humility.”
“Barry – just…. Let’s just humor him. We’ve tried to be kind and understanding – obviously he needs to take out his anger on someone. Better us than the kids.”
They both just looked at me with these smug, self-satisfied looks on their faces and Peggy said, “Well? Let’s get this over with!”
“So, Dickwad – you’re her soul-mate, are you?”
“Yeah, more than you could ever be!”
“Well, maybe, but until I invited you into my home and offered you a place to stay until you got on your feet, we were just fine. I’ll never forgive myself for allowing an immoral predator in my home with a wife that I knew was a cheater. THAT and only that was my mistake. Trusting people I know I shouldn’t have. I’ll never make that mistake again.
“Jim, you keep saying that I cheated on you – you have no proof of that because you know it isn’t true – again – I demand that you take that back!”
“Oh, I’m getting to that. But first, Dickwad – back to the whole soul-mate thing. What was it she said? Soul-mate, her other half, she feels complete with you? Fair enough – she has a way of making you feel that way for sure. But, give me a second, will you?”
I pulled out my phone and started tapping and swiping until I found what I was looking for. I handed it to him and said, “Hit play, Dickwad.”
Another withering glare but he tapped the play button. It was a video from about 16 years ago and just happened to be our wedding day. I had it cued up to a specific spot. I listened as they watched.
“Jim, my love, I’ve waited my whole life for you. The moment I met you, I knew I’d found my soul-mate. You are the other half of me. You complete me.”
I let that sink in for a bit and then said, “Call me crazy, but if I’m her other half and YOU’RE her other half, doesn’t that make her like one and a half person? I mean, she’s put on a few pounds since we married, but not that much!”
I could tell by the look on Dickwad’s face that he was not expecting to see that. Peggy went into damage control mode, “Barry, don’t give that a thought. Everyone is entitled to make a mistake – Jim was mine until you came along.” And with that, she hooked her arm into his and leaned into him, kissing him on the cheek with and fixing me with a smug grin – but I could tell I’d gotten to Dickwad.
I smiled and said, “Ah, my lovely cheater – but I wasn’t your first mistake, was I?”
She looked totally perplexed and said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about Jim – and STOP calling me a cheater!”
“So, Dickw-”
“Jim, will you STOP calling Barry that! Grow the fuck up!”
“So, Dickwad, do you remember where it was that I met your “other half?”
“On Paros when we were on leave – what of it?”
“Exactly right. We were on leave and hopped the cheapest flight we could find and ended up on Paros. We’re sitting in The Mad Hatter bar and in walk these two hotties we just knew were American. Peggy and her nursing partner were on vacation from their gig in Riyadh and came to Paros to find some hot Greek men to fuck for the week. Well, Peggy ended up fucking this American man and falling in love. I honestly was looking for a week with a hot Greek woman, but this hot-blooded American beauty stole my heart. The fact that her home stateside was only an hour from my home was a huge coincidence and made us both believe it was meant to be – and it was, wasn’t it, my favorite Cheating Whore?”
“Would you STOP with that – please!”
I ignored her.
“So fast forward a few months. I’d rotated home, she finally finishes off her contract and I’m waiting at the airport for the love of my life. We’re going to move into together and start our new life. I’d retired from the service and transitioned into private life. I was ready. And guess what? Peggy didn’t get off the plane. About an hour later, I get a call from her telling me that she had to delay her arrival for a couple of days, but don’t worry, she’ll be there soon. I was so in love I didn’t care, I didn’t question it and I just went home and waited.”
Peggy interrupted, yet again, and said, “That’s because there was nothing to question.”
I ignored her, yet again.
“Finally, our wedding day comes. You were there, Dickwad. And before we go any further, let’s take a look at my wedding video again. Here, take a look at my face as the Cheating Whore is telling me I’m her soul-mate. Does that look like the face of a man that’s sure of what he’s doing to you?”
I looked at the two of them and saw the confusion on Peggy’s face. “I’ve never noticed that before. Jim, were you having second thoughts on the day we got married?”
“Well, up until ten minutes before the ceremony, I had zero second thoughts. You had no idea how close I came to walking out.”
“But why? We loved each other. We were totally committed to each other. We were starting our life together. Why would you question that?”
“Let me ask you – why do YOU think I would question it. What possible reason would I have to question your love and loyalty to me?”
“Jim, I have no idea why you would have questioned that on our wedding day – I was totally and completely committed to you.”
I sighed, “Okay – don’t say I didn’t give you a chance to come clean. So, I’m standing outside the church with my brother just before you arrived and this guy I’ve never seen comes up to me and asks if I’m Jim. When I tell him I am, he congratulates me on marrying you. I ask him if we know each other, but he says no, but he knows you. I ask him his name and he tells me it’s Dave Rebstock.”
As I say this, I look over at Peggy and watch her eyes bug out and she simply says “Shit.”
I look over at Dickwad and continue, “So my new buddy Dave proceeds to tell me that up until a few months ago, he and his fiancé were busy planning their own wedding. And guess, Dickwad, who his fiancé was?”
Almost in a whisper he says, “Peggy.”
“Got it in one! And would you like to hazard a guess as to whether or not they were engaged when Peggy and I met? Let me save you the trouble! Yeah…they were! And how bout another guess as to whether or not the Cheating Whore ever thought to mention that fact to me? I’ll save you the trouble. No…she didn’t! And guess where she was when she didn’t get off the plane! She was back home kicking old Dave to the curb!”
I looked over at Peggy with a fierce stare. “So yeah, when you say you’ve never cheated on me before Dickwad here, I tend to believe you. But if you weren’t so fucking high and mighty, you’d have realized I didn’t say you cheated on me – but I did say you were a Cheating Whore. Which you absolutely fucking are. So don’t EVER look at me with that superior, smug look again, because you are a serial fucking Cheating Whore!”
I looked at the shell-shocked duo. The way their mouths were flapping I thought I was in a bass derby and I’d just pulled the two of them onto my boat. I decided to finish off the Cheating Whore before I turned my sites on the Dickwad. I reached into my jacket pocket and handed Dickwad three sheets of paper that were neatly folded together.
“So, Dickwad, what I’ve just handed you is what my new buddy Dave handed me at the end of our conversation – turns out they were the wedding vows he had written out for your soulmate here when HE was supposed to marry her. He had told me that he wished me well. I had told him that I had no knowledge of him before today and he believed me. He really was a decent sort. Good looking, good shape and a solid dude. In different circumstances, I could see that we could have been buddies – but not in these circumstances. Humour me and read the part out loud the part that I’ve highlighted.”
Peggy protested, but it was barely above a whisper. “Barry, you don’t have to read it, I know what it says.”
With barely contained fury, I hissed, “Fucking read it!”
“David, my love, I’ve waited my whole life for you. The moment I met you, I knew I’d found my soul-mate. You are the other half of me. You complete me.”
I couldn’t help myself, “Jesus Peggy, it’s gotta be getting pretty fucking crowded in that body of yours.” The look she gave me was less than warm, but I wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily. “You sit there all fucking high and mighty and tell me that you can’t deny your feelings, that you found your so-called “soul-mate” and I just need to understand. Well, fuck that. You’re nothing but a selfish, entitled Cheating Whore!”
By the time I got to the end of my diatribe I was pretty much shouting. She looked stunned at the ferocity of my emotion. She could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I had raised my voice. I had always been able to get my point across with her and our kids with a very calm, but very assertive manner. I’ve never liked blowing up – to me it showed weakness – but if there was any occasion that called for fury, it was this one.
She tried to fight back, but it was a feeble attempt. “So, if I was so horrible, so unworthy of the “wonderful Jim”, why did you marry me? Why didn’t you just walk away?”
I sighed, “Very simple answer. Ask Dickwad beside you or ask your other victim, Dave. You’re good, you’re very, very good. You made us all believe that we were the one. I know I did and Dave told me the same. And I’m sure Dickwad is thinking he’s the one as well, but history has shown that that’s simply not the case, hasn’t it?”
I looked over at him – I saw an odd mixture of disappointment and defeat and I thought, “Oh, you have no idea. I’m just getting started with your disloyal ass.”
He, however, decided to let pride get in the way of being humble and put an arm around her, stuck his chin out defiantly and said, “Not to worry Babe, you just hadn’t met me yet – the right guy for you. I’ve known all along that you were the one. And I’m going to spend the rest of our lives showing you that.” With that he glared at me and shot me that self-satisfied smirk. Oh… this was going to be fun.
“So, Dickwad, you think the Cheating Whore is, “The One”, do you?”
“You’re damn right she is, and if you don’t stop calling her that, we’re going to have a problem.”
I ignored his childish threat.
“So, Cheating Whore, does Dickwad here make you feel like “The One?”
She sighed, upset at my name-calling (like I gave a fiddler’s fuck), “Yes, Jim, he does. You did too, I’ve said that over and over. It’s just that Barry makes me feel so incredibly complete, like I’m his entire world, so yes, I believe I am “The One” for him.”
By this time Dickwad had recovered some of his bravado and he looked at me and said, “I’m sorry buddy, but when you find the one, you just can’t deny what the universe is telling you. I know it’s hard being replaced like this, but I know once you see how happy we are you’ll admit it to yourself.”
I looked up at the ceiling like I was trying to recall something, “Hmmm….”The One”, “The One”, where have I heard that expression before. Hang, on..I think I remember.”
With that I grabbed my phone and made a big production of searching through it and finally found what I was looking for. “Ah ha! Here it is. This is from Dickwad himself from just eighteen months ago. Let me read it for you both. Well, Jimmy boy, rip up my bachelor card. I’ve met “The One”. Amy is fucking amazing. We are so damn into each other I can’t tell you. She’s smart, she gets me, she fucking amazing in the sack and has pussy like silk. She works on the base and is just so damn hot. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. We’ve been together for about 3 months and I’m already starting to think about popping the question. I hope you and the rest of the boys are ready to get together for a bachelor party in a few months, cause I’m gonna need one!”
“So, Dickwad, how many “The Ones” are you supposed to have? Doesn’t the term “The One” mean just one? Between the three other halfs the Cheating Whore here has and the two “The Ones” you have, it’s gonna be pretty crowded in that king-size bed I shelled out for last year.”
Old Dickwad looked like he had just taken a shot of vinegar – he looked at Peggy and said, “Baby – I was foolish – I got caught up in being lonely and I panicked. It didn’t last much beyond that email and she’s in the past. You know you’re “The One” for me.”
“Oh, So Amy wasn’t “The One” – Peggy is?”
“Yes, just like Peggy, everyone is entitled to jump the gun.”
I smiled and looked down at my phone and started scrolling, “So, just to confirm also, let me see here…Cindy in Fort Hood isn’t “The One” and …. Hold on…. scrolling…. scrolling, ahh…here it is, Donna at Fort Sill isn’t “The One”? You know, Dickwad, I’m confused, because I have emails from you telling me all three of these women were “The One.” I’m no math wizard, but I think you’ve now got four “The Ones!”
I pressed on, “Look, I could not care less about either one of you. You, Dickwad, as I said, are dead to me. You, my Cheating Whore of a wife, I am stuck dealing with because of our kids, for basically ever. My point is that you two sit here so fucking angelic trying to tell me that this romance of yours is something you couldn’t control, something that was bigger than you both, when in actual fact, you’re both just faithless fucks, that, frankly deserve the hurt you’re going to put on one another. I’ve actually started a pool with the rest of the guys from our unit to guess which one of you cheats first and guessing how long you’re together before the whole thing becomes a dumpster fire.”
This enraged my soon-to-be-ex-wife. “How dare you! How dare you try to poison our friends against us. They are just as much Barry’s and my friends as they are yours. Just because your ego is hurt and you can’t understand what true love is, doesn’t give you the right to put our friends in the middle of all of this.” She turned to Dickwad and said, “Don’t worry baby, once they see how happy we are at the wedding, everything will be fine and Mr. Bitter over there will just have to deal with it on his own.”
Dickwad tried unsuccessfully to sound conciliatory when it was obvious that he was trying to rub more salt in the wound, “Yeah, Jim, I know that the wedding will be the first time that the whole crew will be together and you won’t be included. Peggy and I kicked around the idea of inviting you to the wedding so you could see the kids and also be around the gang, but we figured it would be too painful for you to be there. Maybe some of the gang can drop in to see you the next day. They might be a little hungover though – you know how they like to party!”
There was that smug fucking smirk again – time for that to be wiped off.
I picked up my phone and simply texted, “Go ahead” in a group text box.
“Oh, don’t worry about me, I have plans that are going to keep me quite busy that day.”
Within seconds, both of their phones started buzzing with incoming mail. If the phones had been sitting on the table, I’m sure they would have been spinning with all of the notifications.
“Well, what do you know – speak of the devil – here are a bunch of replies from the gang about the wedding,” Jim enthused and immediately opened the first one. He frowned and opened the second one and the third. Peggy, seeing his pained expression opened up her phone and started looking at the replies. They were all the same. Her head snapped up and her eyes bored into me. If looks could kill, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be writing this tale.
“What the hell did you do!”
“What do you mean, Cheating Whore?”
“You know goddam well what I mean, what did you say to our friends. No-one is coming – every reply is the same!” She shoved the phone in my face. I didn’t know what the exact words were going to be, but I had a pretty good idea of the message. I laughed right out loud when I read it.
“Sorry, won’t be there. We have a barbecue at Jim’s that day. P.S. DON’T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!!”
Dickwad was crestfallen, “I can’t believe my guys would abandon me like this. There’s no way they would have done this without some coercion – what did you say to them!”
“Well, first things first – I don’t give a shit if you believe me, but I had zero to do with this. If they wanted to go, that was up to them. I would not have been upset nor disappointed. I would not have taken it as the gang choosing the two of you treacherous fucks over me. I’ve actually spoken very little to anyone in the group about this – I was that embarrassed. But, as soon as your invitations went out, I got a call from Dennis asking when the house-warming was going to be. I told him that I hadn’t made any plans yet and he told me that the group had decided it was going to be on the same day as your wedding. I told him that they didn’t have to do that, that it wasn’t fair to make them choose and I was fine with them going to your wedding, but they insisted. Again – I couldn’t care less if you believe me, but that is exactly what happened. So, I guess yours is going to be a smaller affair than you planned. Guess it will save you a bit of money on the meal!”
They both looked like they’d lost their best friend – which, in some ways they had. I truly had not done anything to try to torpedo their wedding day – I honestly didn’t care. However, the rest of the gang took an extremely dim view of what they had done and wanted nothing to do with the nuptials. They contacted me and informed me that they would be coming from far and wide to christen my new house and support me the best way they knew how. Truth be told, I knew I’d be pretty deep in self-pity that day, so having the gang around me, and more importantly NOT around them, was going to be a tonic for my severely bruised soul.
Dickwad was fuming, “Well, that’s just fucking great! I show up at every one of their fucking weddings and when I want them to come to mine, they turn their backs on me!
The Cheating Whore tried to soothe him, “Baby, don’t worry about it. We knew that there were going to be awkward times. I can kind of understand their thinking on this. While it’s a wonderful day for us, it’s going to be a very difficult day for Jim and we made them choose between us. I think it’s admirable that they chose the person that’s going to need the most support. You’ll see at the next get together. Things will be almost back to normal. And Jim will just have to accept our presence there and deal with it the best he can.”
I fought valiantly to supress a smirk, “Yeah, I’ll have to figure some way to get by. Thankfully the next party is on my weekend, so the kids and I will have a fun road-trip and I’ll have them to keep my spirits up.”
“How do you know when that is? I haven’t seen an invitation. I’ve been expecting it – Gerry and Anne always have it sometime in July.”
“Yeah, it’s the weekend after the holiday weekend. I mapped it out on the calendar so that’s how I know it’s my weekend with the kids. Invitations were sent out three weeks ago.”
The two of them were madly scrolling through their phones, the reality slowly dawning on them. Dickwad looked like he had been kicked in the stomach, which, figuratively, he had been.
“I can’t believe my guys turned their backs on me. We’ve been like brothers for almost twenty years.” He looked like he was going to cry and Peggy put a sympathetic arm over his shoulder and glared at me.
“You might not have anything to do with this, but you can sure as hell fix it! And I expect you to! Barry and I have just as much right to be there as you do!”
Again, I laughed out loud, “You know, just when I think you can’t be more delusional or self-absorbed, you prove me wrong. I have neither the time nor the inclination to lobby on your behalf. Ho. Ly. Fuck! You two are completely fucking nuts! You have no idea how much of a shitstorm your so-called love affair has set off and how many people it has affected. The gang from the unit is one thing. But fuck Peggy – your family is devastated! My family is devastated! And all of that pales in comparison to the kids.”
Her head shot up, “Oh no, you don’t! You don’t get to hold my kids against me! I am an outstanding mother and I have done the research. I know that divorce, while tough on kids, no longer defines them. In fact, in lots of cases, children from divorced families end up much happier and better off after the chaos of the divorce has eased, so don’t you go telling me that my following my heart is bad for my kids, because there is NOTHING more important to me than their happiness!”
“Well,” I countered, “We know that’s not true, don’t we? If it were true, you wouldn’t have spread your slutty legs for that pathetic excuse for a man sitting beside you.”
“Jim!” she shrieked, “I just got through telling you that kids from divorced homes more often than not thrive after the divorce is over – I’ve done my research!”
I just shook my head, “You stupid cow! Of course kids from BROKEN homes recover and feel safer and on a more solid footing when their warring parents finally split up! But that’s not what Emma and Liam have experienced is it? We had a happy and loving home. Full of support, full of laughter and set on a really solid foundation. Now, they don’t know what’s going to happen and if you had just sat and talked to them…REALLY talked to them instead of telling them how great it’s going to be, you’d realize that they are, for the first time in their lives, scared and unsure about the future.”
This had really hit home with Peggy. For all of her faults that had become evident in the last three months, prior to that, I couldn’t have named a better mother. She was the perfect combination of parent and friend and she knew when to be both. Who this new person was, I didn’t know; but this statement had really struck at the core of who she was and I could tell that she was rattled. I pushed on.
“I’m telling you right now. Every A that becomes a B is because you are a Cheating Whore! Every time one of them comes home and is sullen and withdrawn and just goes to their room, it’s because you are a Cheating Whore! Every time they see someone smirk at them at school or walk by a group of their peers and hear the snicker, it’s because you are a Cheating Whore!
You’ve taught my son that no matter how good of a husband he is, no matter how wonderful of a father he is and now matter how honorable of a man he is, if his wife decides she wants more, everything he has worked for can simply be pulled out from underneath him. He has told me himself that he now can’t ever see himself getting married.”
When I said that, a look of horror came across Peggy’s face. “Oh, god no! He mustn’t feel that way!”
I gave her a withering glare, “Give me one good reason why he shouldn’t – the most important female role model in his life has just thrown away the most important male role model in his life for what… some strange cock? Give your fucking head a shake! What other conclusion is he going to come to?”
“And what have you taught Emma? You might delude yourself by thinking that you’ve taught her to never accept nothing but exactly what you want but what you’ve really shown her is that it’s ok to blow up a perfectly happy home for something that is shiny and new and exciting. Congratulations Peggy, you get my vote for Mom of the Year!”
She was clearly rattled now. She certainly didn’t like what she saw in the mirror I had just held up to her face. It was time for Dickwad to come to her rescue – or at least try to.
“Don’t pay him any attention Babe. He’s fighting a losing battle. Once Emma and Liam see how truly happy their momma is and how much better their home will be, everything will be fine. Jim, I have to say. I know you are hurting and as much as you don’t believe me, I’m truly sorry for that. If there was any way it could have been avoided, we would have done it. But, that being said, you are kind of shocking me here. I’ve known you a long time and I’ve never seen this crazy vindictive side of you. Give us some credit here. We have nothing but the kid’s best interest at heart.”
“Oh, I’m sure you believe that. I will never forgive myself allowing a serial homewrecker into my sanctuary. I was conflicted between my duty to the unit and my duty to my family. In my defence, I thought bringing you here would allow me to control things a bit and keep you from destroying lives. My mistake was trusting in the one relationship I thought was safe. I warned neighbours about you, I warned the people where I got you your job about you. The one person I didn’t warn was myself and my kids will ultimately pay the price for my mistake. I will spend the entire time between now and what I know will be your ultimate breakup protecting them from you two morally bankrupt fucks. My only hope is that at least one of you does the inevitable and fucks around before Emma comes of age in five years, because if not, I can pretty much guarantee Dickwad will be coming after her once she does.
Talk about your dropping a turd in the pool!
With a roar he leapt from the table and came after me with molten fury in his eyes. I was totally expecting it and calmly sidestepped his attack and after a short time of him flailing around I had him cinched into a very tight and very painful arm bar. When we served together, I was basically in charge of showing him the ropes and while I may have taught him everything he knows, I sure as fuck didn’t teach him everything I know.
He screamed at me, “You fucking cocksucker, I’m going to fuck you……..aughhhh!”
Funny how bending someone’s arm right to the point of breaking it stops them from talking.
“Shut the fuck up you piece of shit or I’ll snap this thing off and shove it up your ass!”
“Jim!,” Peggy shrieked, “Stop this right now! You let him go immediately! I fucking mean it!”
I hissed in Dickwad’s ear, “Are you going to fucking calm down if I let you go? Give me your fucking word – whatever the fuck that’s worth and I’ll think about not making you have a cast in your fucking wedding pictures.”
“Fuck you!” I cinched it even tighter – he squealed in pain.
“Barry! Just tell him you’re going to calm down. He’s not worth it!”
“I’ll fucking step down, just let me the fuck go!”
“Say please.”
“Fuck you!”
“Oh, now you have to say pretty please!” I pulled it tighter. I swear I could hear bones cracking. I have to hand it to him; he was handling the pain pretty well.
But…everyone has their breaking point.
“Let me go – pretty please.”
With an evil grin, I let him go and pushed him away from me so I didn’t have to worry about him trying to swing at me. Turns out he was a little smarter than I gave him credit for. He turned around and glared white-hot fury at me. But he stayed back.
Peggy was beside herself with rage. “Jim, I swear I have no idea who you are anymore. This man saved your life – you saved his! I know you are mad, but to accuse him of such a sick, hideous thing is beyond disgusting. How dare you say these things! I can’t properly put into words how disappointed I am in you!”
I just shook my head at her. “You think this is just my anger coming out? That I’m just throwing this shit out to piss you off? Sit the fuck down and sit down now!”
“I won’t! We tried to be understanding of your feelings and we tried to allow you an opportunity to vent, but this is totally unacceptable!”
“Suit yourself, but you are going to hear what I have to say before I go.”
I looked over at Dickwad who was still staring daggers at me, while he was shaking out his arm, trying to get some feeling back in it.
“Hey Dickwad, help me out here. I’ve got three figures of speech I need help with. Care to help me understand what “Bagging a Brace”, “Scoring a Hat Trick” and “Hitting for the Cycle” mean?”
His eyes widened, but he didn’t want to face what he knew was coming so he tried vainly to put off the inevitable.
“I…uh…I have …uh…no fucking idea what you are talking about. Probably some more made-up shit like you’ve been spewing since you got here!”
“Really? Denial is what you are going with? Suit your fucking self and don’t say I didn’t give you a chance to come clean.”
I looked over at Peggy, “Well my dear, Cheating Whore, let me give you a lesson in ‘Dickwadese’. First, in most countries, “Bagging a Brace” means getting two of something like scoring two goals in a hockey game or catching two fish. In ‘Dickwadese’, it means fucking two women in the same family. In fact, he stayed with the last “The One” before you just long enough for her daughter to turn 18 so he could fuck her. I don’t know if poor Amy knows he fucked her daughter, but it was only a couple of weeks after that that he dumped her.”
“That can’t… no…it just can’t be true. Barry – tell me it’s not true!”
Good old Dickwad did his bass in boat impression again and his mouth was just flapping open and closed.
“Oh, it get’s better!” I enthused, “Scoring a Hat Trick, instead of what we think it means – scoring three goals, in old Barry’s world means getting three women in the same family. He did that one a couple of times. Now don’t worry “Dear”, I’ve already alerted your dad about ol’ Dickwad’s charms and he’s told me that he’ll never let your future hubby near your mom. Even I have to admit, for an older lady, Donna’s still got it going on!”
At this point I think my former buddy Barry would have paid to have the world swallow him up. His face was red and he suddenly had an almost obsessive interest in some lint on the floor.
“And finally, the ultimate. “Hitting for the Cycle.” In baseball terms it means getting a single, double, triple and home run all in the same game. Hey, “Old Buddy”, why don’t you handle this one with your fiancé? No? Cat got your tongue? Ok, allow me. That’s girlfriend, her daughter, her mother and her sister. Now, in fairness, to my knowledge he’s only accomplished that one once. Yep, managed to wreck three families in one fell swoop. I got to hand it to you buddy, you are a master homewrecker!”
“Oh, and Peggy? Don’t worry, Darren knows all about Dickwad’s penchant for going after his women’s sisters. He was, how would I put it; less than impressed. Let’s just say I wouldn’t count on the annual family trip to the Jersey Shore with Leann and him and kids happening this year.”
“One last thing. I suspect you don’t believe me. And I suspect that old Dickwad here is going to deny it and try to spin it so he doesn’t look like the bad guy.” I held up my phone, “If you want proof, just ask, it’s all in here!”
I looked at the two of them. That smug, smarmy patronizing attitude that they came at me with was totally gone. If this was a prize fight, it was the point in the latter rounds when I’d landed so many body blows their hands were down, they’d spit the mouth guard and they were ready for me to finish them off with one more punch. But I knew there was no need for that. They would do it to themselves. I’d had enough of the two of them. I just wanted out.
I looked over at Dickwad. “I’m done here. Once I pass through the front door, consider me dead. Because you will be dead to me. If you see me at the soccer pitch – stand at the other end. If you see me at the school concert, sit on the other side of the auditorium. Unless one of my kids in real danger, NEVER contact me again. Do I make myself clear?” He didn’t even have the courage to look at me.
I looked at the Cheating Whore. “For you, I have an apology. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you better from this fucking predator. I know you think you’re happy, but I will 100% guarantee he will break your heart if you don’t break his first. I loved you with all my heart at one time and will state unequivocally that you were a good mother until he led you astray. I let him into our sanctuary and for that I will forever be ashamed. You are a big girl – you will recover. But he will make you a less effective mother – he already has. When you come to that realization just know that I will have been doing everything I can to minimize the damage. You’ve absolutely gutted me. I have put aside any personal happiness for the next seven years until our kids are both old enough to fend for themselves. It is my penance for losing the plot. I loved you for 17 years….for the last three months I hated you. Now? I feel less than nothing. I acknowledge you as the mother of my children but that is it. I’m forced to deal with you because of our children, but that is the only interaction you and I will have. Goodbye.”
I turned and walked into the living room and suddenly realized the court-appointed supervisor was still there. He was sitting there with a totally incredulous look on his face. I had totally forgotten about him.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry! I have totally wasted your time and put you in the middle of something I’m sure you didn’t want to witness. I’m done here, I have everything that matters to me, I should have just let you go earlier. I truly apologize. Can I give you some money for your time and trouble?”
We were walking out the door and he looked totally shell-shocked. He just looked at me and said, “Sir, this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve done a number of these and they are generally pretty unpleasant. But I’ve gotta say, that was the most epic beatdown I have ever witnessed. That was next level – mad, mad respect to you. You owe me nothing. Good luck moving forward.”
And with that he shook my hand, hopped into his vehicle and was gone.
I hopped into my truck, the few things I really wanted safely stowed in the box and headed down the road to my new life, dignity fully intact.
Ten years later
Peggy and I were twirling around the dance floor at Emma’s wedding. “My god, she’s beautiful,” I enthused. “Yes,” Peggy replied, “she seems to have inherited all the best of features of both of us, and managed to avoid the bad stuff.”
“So, how are things going with Greg? He seems like a decent guy. Where did you guys meet again? Work, was it?”
“Yes, we did meet at work, but you don’t have to pretend to care. I know I made my own bed. As you predicted, Barry was as you had advertised and to my shame, so was I. I traded in a Cadillac for a shiny new sports car that did nothing but break down and cost me everything.”
“For what it’s worth, we weren’t his first victims and we weren’t his last. He still has a little contact with a couple of the guys from the unit and to my understanding he’s still up to his old tricks leaving havoc in his wake. A leopard can’t change his spots, I guess.”
“I know, but I can’t believe I lost sight of what was most important. And thank you for not rubbing my nose in it after he and I split, or even after Bill or Ethan. I know you could easily have done that. I know you think that I haven’t changed either and my history with men sure wouldn’t lead you to think otherwise, but I like to think in my heart of hearts that I’m simply looking for you and if I don’t find it, I move on. I know now what I had and I’ll go to my grave regretting losing sight of that.”
I smiled at her, “Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, I am all but impossible to replace!”
She laughed and slapped my arm. “Humility was never your strong suit!”
I nodded, “In all seriousness, I hope now that the kids are well on their way, you can find happiness again. You did a great job with them. I know I had my doubts but you proved me wrong and I will be forever thankful. Even Laurie is impressed and coming from a broken family like she did, she really related to them.”
Peggy smiled, “You know, I tried really, really hard to hate Laurie, but come on, how can anyone? She’s terrific, she makes you happy and the kids love her. Thank you for choosing someone like that.”
As the song ended, I looked across the floor to see the love of my life smiling at me and I knew I had to be with her, like right now.
“Thanks for the dance Peggy, I wish you happiness. But I need to get back to my wife.”