Nineteen Hundred (Ch 4)
(Decisions)
No matter how hard Julie tried, she couldn’t see herself respecting Jake; let alone loving him. She tried. She cried. She set an appointment with a counselor. As painful as it was, she scanned the web for local divorce attorneys, though she hoped she’d never have to make a decision.
She also realized Tony did her a huge favor Thursday after work. If he let things happen at his place and they ended up in bed after she came crying, she’d be in worse emotional shape. If they had good sex, she’d want him more; clouding her decision-making on her marriage. She made a mental note to not sleep with Tony again. She hoped kissing would suffice.
Jake and Julie attended their first counseling session the following Monday night. She missed part of her class, but she knew it was necessary. To her, it seemed a disaster. To Jake, everything was honky-dory; no need for more counseling. She could see her current life falling apart. However, she still had her daily life routines; the kids, school and trying to be a good wife.
Apart from a few passionate kisses from Tony, nothing happened during their second Wednesday night meeting. In a way, she was relieved nothing happened. She was afraid of falling for Tony, even though she was almost 100% sure it would never happen. Their third Wednesday night meeting included some petting and long kissing, but not much more. Julie was okay in that neither of them let it get out of hand. However, Tony began creeping into her mind more and more as time went along. She dismissed her feelings as confusion going on around Jake’s fantasy and being good friends with Tony.
She drove to Tony’s for their fourth Wednesday night meeting after work. As usual, he greeted her with a smile as she topped the stairs. She went into his bedroom and changed out of her work clothes and went to the dining room table to set up her laptop and stuff. Tony was standing near the table.
“Um, Julie,” Tony said with a worried voice. “Um, don’t be mad at me, but I’ve already done the project.”
She stared at him. “Say again?”
“Sorry. I was bored the other night and just kept doing all the research, answering questions and started making slides,” he said, worried she’d be mad.
“You mean for tonight, right?” she asked, looking for verification.
“Um, no; the entire project. Sorry. I hope you don’t mind. I mean…”
“Wait. You’ve done everything?”
“Well, all the research; not all the slides, but we can go over everything so you know what I did.”
She looked at him silently; confused. “Tony, I needed to work on this with you so I understand the process, the stats…everything,” she said with dismay in her voice.
“Shit, sorry,” he said, looking down at his laptop on the table.
Julie slowly sat down at the table, looking up at Tony. “Tony, I’ve known there’s something special about you, but have never put my finger on it…not that I invested too much time thinking about it. What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” Tony asked as he pulled out his chair to sit.
“You never speak of your parents. Why did you join the military? Give me a brief history of the Tony I’m looking at right now,” she calmly inquired, raking her hair back behind her ears.
The way he looked at her, she began to prepare for something big, but wasn’t sure what was coming.
“What’s there to know?” he asked.
“You tell me, Tony. You know, wavetop level; just the basics…if you don’t mind?”
Tony looked at her in silence for several seconds, then took a deep breath. He sighed, “Okay…you asked for it.” He took another deep breath.
“I was somewhat of a gifted child. School came easy for me; way too easy. I was constantly doing work above my grade level. I wasn’t like an Einstein-genius, but I excelled in academics, as well as sports,” he sighed, looking at her. So, I was recruited by some good schools; Georgia Institute of Technology, Cal Poly, U of Michigan, Notre Dame; hell, even the Air Force and Naval academies sent me letters asking to come visit.”
He paused, looking away from Julie. “Um, my dad…” he paused. “Um, he was abusive; mainly towards my mom. When I was old enough, I began to defend my mom; you know, keep him away from her. So, when I graduated high school, I didn’t want to leave. I attended community college in our town. I came home one day and found my mom in a pool of blood in the kitchen. EMS took her to the hospital where she was in a coma. My dad was arrested for domestic violence. Anyway, long story short, my mother died a couple of months later; never regaining consciousness. Dad was charged with manslaughter, but his lawyers argued for a lesser sentence under negligent homicide. He’ll probably die in prison, even though it wasn’t a life sentence.”
Julie sat in disbelief; listening intently.
“Anyway, after taking the ASVAB, every service came calling. They all said I could have any job or skill I wanted; Intel, Cyber, Avionics, even the Navy’s nuke school…whatever. Hell, even the NSA wanted to talk to me about working for them…straight out of high school.” He looked at her, “I was angry, Julie. My life was in shambles. So, I joined the Marine Corps and told the recruiter I wanted Infantry. I wanted to take my frustrations out on terrorists…so I thought. So, after three years in the Marines, including a tour in Iraq, I came back and tried to find a life. I bounced around from different jobs, different cities, trying to figure out what I wanted. I eventually moved here and started taking classes…for now.” He paused, looking down at the table, “Heard enough?”
“I’ve heard enough unless you want to tell me more,” she softly replied.
“Julie”, he paused. “I can’t stand Jake. I hate him. A man is supposed to respect his wife. When I was old enough to understand how my father would treat my mom, I swore I’d never treat a woman…any woman…disrespectfully; let alone hit a woman. In a way, I feel like I disrespected you by going to your house. I should have never done that. As a matter of fact, I wanted to leave after sitting on the couch with you…but…seeing Jake, as pathetic as he looked, I guess I used you to make him small…to reduce him to nothing…while I had sex with his wife. I’m so sorry, Julie. I really, really am. I will never do that again to anyone…any woman.”
Tony clasped his hands together with his elbows on the table, then hung his head. “I’m so sorry, Julie, please…believe me.”
She looked at him; not knowing what to say or do. Silence filled the room.
Tony took a deep breath. “So, anyway, Julie, this shit is so easy for me. I’m not challenged. Seriously, this is like doing 5th grade material; only I’m nearly 30 years old now. I’m sorry. I should have considered you would want to have been involved in the project. Really, I’m sorry.”
Stunned by Tony’s admissions, Julie sat there trying to take in everything she’d just heard.
“Tony, if you’re not challenged, why aren’t you going for a technical degree or something in the sciences? Why are you going to night school when you could be anywhere; almost any school in the nation?” she looked at him.
“Easy. I want a degree to open doors for me. I’m knocking this out in half the time if I went to a traditional college. After I get this Business degree, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to do whatever…and go wherever I want. I’ll be fine. This is just phase one of my plan…if that’s a way to look at things,” he told her.
Julie took his childhood, his parents, his scholastic gift into some deep thought for a minute. She took a deep breath and broke the silence. “Okay…wasn’t prepared for that, Tony.” She paused looking in his eyes. “I’m sorry for your pain, but I think you’ve dealt with it pretty well,” then smiled at him.
“Tony, as for disrespecting me; don’t feel any guilt. I am just as much to blame for what happened that night. I could have stopped it. I thought I was doing it for Jake. Now I realize I could have…should have…put my foot down and not let anything happen.” She said still looking into his eyes.
“Hindsight is 20/20, ya know?” She paused then quietly said, “Tony. Let it go; it’s done. We can’t change it. It’s one of those life lessons we need to pass on to others so they don’t make the same mistake.”
Both fell silent. She sat back in her chair, taking a deep breath. She sighed, then slapped her hands on her knees. “Okay. As for the project…it’s okay. We still need to put everything together. I can learn everything I need to know while doing that. Doing research sucks. I’m kind of glad I don’t have to do it,” she reassured him.
“Shit, okay.” Tony came back to life; his old self. “We can take the night off and you can go home or we can watch TV or we can start on the slides that aren’t due for a couple more weeks. You’re choice, girl.”
“Wow…okay, I guess,” Julie kind of chuckled. “Honestly, I don’t want to go home right away and fight traffic. Can we watch TV? Do you mind?” She asked.
“I wouldn’t have suggested that if I didn’t want to.”
“Okay, be right back.” Julie headed towards the bathroom. She laughed as she entered the bathroom, seeing and smelling how clean it was. Maybe Derrick learned a lesson from her, she hoped. She texted her mom to make sure everything was okay with the kids. Then fixed her hair.
After a few minutes, Julie went back to the dining room area, then looked in the kitchen for Tony. She called out for Tony. He answered from his bedroom. She sat down on the couch in front of the TV and waited.
A minute later. “Julie, in here,” he shouted.
“What?”
“Come here.”
She walked to his bedroom where he was lying in bed watching TV. “Thought you wanted to watch TV?” he asked.