Karenocracy Pt. 01 by themaneloco

I looked at her, perplexed. “What are you asking me exactly?”

“Has the violation been removed?”

I blinked again. “Are you asking me if the BBQ is still there?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, before speaking a in a slow, condescending manner, “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m asking you.”

“It’s still there.” I swallowed nervously. “I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong, so I errr…didn’t see why I had to remove it.” I nodded towards the letter. “I literally received this an hour ago.”

“Well, you did do something wrong, and you haven’t rectified it, therefore, the fine issued will be collected. You were given the opportunity to avoid a fine by correcting the violation and apologising. You have chosen not to do so, and therefore, a fine is the appropriate punishment.” She reached over and plucked a file from her bookshelf, before turning to a page and scribbling something down.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making a record of your violation and your punishment to be collected.”

“Punishment?” I asked, completely flabbergasted. “What is this? School? You can’t punish me for putting a BBQ in my garden.”

She ignored me and reached for her diary, before scribbling something in today’s section. “I assume from your behaviour that you’re not settling today. You have until next week to pay. If you miss the deadline, then I will add late fees of $20 on a daily basis. After a further week, I will escalate your violation to the courts.” She looked up and offered me a serious expression. “Note that any extra fees outside of my control will be due to your lack of cooperation.”

“What? Are you being serious right now?”

“We have a legal team on hand, and we’re more than willing to recover our damages.”

My hands balled into fists. “What damages? You haven’t incurred any damages?”

“You’ve damaged the harmony and nature of our living space.”

“How have I done that? You spied on my place and found a problem where it didn’t exist. I wasn’t harming anyone.” I swallowed nervously, my voice becoming panicked, and as a result, I went on the attack. “Is this because you’re such a Karen that you can’t stand seeing other people enjoying themselves?”

At once, Carol’s eyes widened and her face turned purple. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” However, after a moment, while I sat there shocked and frozen, she seemed to calm and let out a sigh, before rolling her eyes and pointing towards the door. “Your attitude is so unjustified. You can leave now. I’ll expect a cheque by tomorrow, otherwise I will begin topping up late fees. Have a good day.” She was already stood and offering me towards the door. “Come on,” she said. “I have other things to be doing.” I was so confused and perplexed, that I rose to my feet and made my way to the front door, turning and mumbling some protestations which she easily waved away and shushed. “I’m done talking,” she said. “Either settle or we’ll take further action through the courts.”

Once she’d directed me outside, she glanced down at the basket of muffins, before she looked up towards the security hut. “Henry,” she called out. “Come and take these for me.” She reached into the basket of muffins, plucked one of the blueberry ones out, then curled her lips in disgust, before squashing it and tossing the crumbs onto her garden. “Miriam’s baking is only good for feeding the birds,” she said, before abruptly going back inside and closing the door.

I stood in shock on her doorstep for a few minutes, watching silently as the security guy came over, nodded politely, then took the muffins back to his hut to enjoy with his colleagues. The arrogance of the woman was outstanding, and I couldn’t believe the way in which she had spoken to me. I’d had my ass metaphorically spanked and sent on my way as if I was an unruly child in need of a lesson. What did she expect me to do now: go away, find the money, then crawl back and pay her? It was completely unjust and there was no way I was going to give in to her demands.

On the way back to my property I called up my friend again. “She’s come out guns blazing,” I said. “She says either I pay or go to court.”

“Didn’t you discuss any alternative arrangement?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know…something…anything other than going to court? Did you engage? Were you polite and reasonable?”

“I was as polite as she was,” I said with pride.

“Oh God, Jodie. Sometimes your stubbornness gets you into a right hole.”

“I think she’s bluffing,” I said.

“I guess you’ll find out in due time.”

The next week was a mixture of work and continuing to settle into my home. I put Carol and her shenanigans out of my mind, focusing on more important issues that improved my life, rather than made it worse. Clearly, she got off on pushing people around, but I wasn’t about to become one of her victims. She could go to hell regarding the payment, and she was the single blip in an otherwise beautiful community. She was an annoying irritation, and I wasn’t about to extend a single thought more than I needed towards her.

I guess I kind of entered an out of sight, out of mind way of thinking, and the weight lifted as I buried my head in the sand. I figured that I could just pretend that my run-in with Carol hadn’t happened, then she’d probably forget about it and move onto other more important things. In the grand scheme, $400 was hardly something for her to fret over, and it was glaringly disproportional to the apparent ‘crime’ I had committed. She had to realise that. I mean, she clearly wasn’t a stupid individual, was she?

I settled into enjoying the facility, visiting the pool each morning before work and swinging by the gym afterwards. I fell into a routine, where I felt refreshed and energised, and I accepted that despite finer details of the Homeowner Association rules being a hassle, the actual benefits I received in return were well worth it. I was just mindful of making the same mistake in future, as the other people in the community had mentioned; Carol was a persistent annoyance, and one just had to find a way to handle her. She was a pest that needing swatting, or at the very least, I needed to erect a figurative fence to keep her at bay.

By Friday evening of the next week, I was well into my new fitness regime, and I was already feeling the benefits to my body. I’d been varying the muscles I exercised each day, and Friday I’d lined up for an extended session of cardio. I arrived at the gym with positive intentions, however, my mood became glum as I noticed a figure in a pink tracksuit, with a familiar blonde ponytail swinging back and forth through the window. I hesitated, wondering if it were better to have a rest that day and come back when the gym was empty. However, as I was about to walk off; my pride tugged at me. This community was as much mine as hers, and I’d paid to use these facilities. We were bound to run into each other again in future, so it was better that we got things out of the way.

After taking a breath to steady myself, I opened the door and walked into the gym. Carol was busy on the elliptical, flinging back and forth while humming along to whatever music she was listening to. With slightly sweated patches beneath her armpits. She squinted at me with annoyance, before making an over-the-top demonstration of removing her pods from her ears. “Now, really isn’t the time,” she said with a snarl. “Can’t you see I’m busy with my work out?”

“What?” For some reason, under the watchful look of disdain from her, I felt the need to apologise. “I’m not disturbing your workout.”

She blinked at me, before raising her head slightly and peering down her nose at me. “You should have come by my office to settle your fine. This is extremely rude to come bother we while I’m exercising.” She shook her head. “And just so you know, with incurred late fees, your fine is over $500 by this point.”

I was holding my water bottle and towel, while wearing my singlet, sweat pants and sneakers. It was pretty damn obvious that I’d come to use the gym. “I’m not here to pay that fine, or whatever late fees you’ve tacked onto it.” Since the ice had been broken, I figured now was as good a time as any to settle this matter once and for all. “Anyway, I’ve already removed the BBQ, if you would like to come and see?” The truth was it was dismantled and in the trunk of my car. Even though I had no intention of paying the fine, I’d taken down the BBQ just in case Carol escalated things. In the event she came by, I’d planned to drop the BBQ off to my mother’s so that Carol wouldn’t have anything to complain about anymore.

“Obviously not,” she said. “You can see how busy I am.” She was about to put her air pods back in, when I reached out and grabbed the handle of the elliptical, causing her face to grimace in distaste.

“Come on,” I urged, while looking up at her hopefully. “I really feel like the fine is no longer necessary and I’d really like for us to come to an agreement.” I nodded towards the remainder of the gym. “I don’t want awkwardness whenever we’re in the same place.” I was being way more diplomatic than she deserved after her behaviour.

She simply rolled her eyes, then let out an impatient huff. “Just pay it and we’re good.” She then squinted at the watch on her wrist. “It’s due today, isn’t it?”

“I can’t afford it,” I said in embarrassment, while looking down and away from her. “With all of the moving costs and my mortgage, I just can’t afford something like this on top, especially for something so petty.”

I expected some level of sympathy, however, she continued to look down her nose at me while perched on the frozen elliptical. “Well, you should have thought about that before you violated the agreement, shouldn’t you? You were warned by myself about holding a BBQ in your garden, and you went ahead and did it anyway. So, don’t come here and act like I’m the villain because I was rightfully enforcing the rules. If you knew you couldn’t afford a fine, then you should have worked harder to avoid receiving one.”

“I’ve read through the Homeowner Association rules and regulations,” I sighed. “I don’t think you’re being fair. I’ve only just moved in here.”

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